The Music In Me

Music is everything to me. I’m not really a musician but I definitely couldn’t live without music. I have a very eclectic taste and it’s even somewhat random. I can remember some of the most pivotal moments in my life surrounding music. It truly is the soundtrack of your life.
My favorite two bands in my toddler years were The Talking Heads and The Monkees; random, right? I used to go crazy in my “Johnny Jumper” listening to them. We had a vinyl player and I loved all those albums.

Throughout grade school I auditioned for solos in the choir. I went to Catholic school so if you’re not in sports, you sing. Even if all the songs were religious, it was better than no singing at all. In fourth grade I won the talent show for singing “Castle on a Cloud” from Les Miserables. My mom took me to Goodwill to get a nasty old nightgown and I sang to an old stuffed animal. It was my shining moment. I got lots of solos here and there and truly loved singing. I took voice lessons and sang my little heart out.

My best friend and I fell in love with “Grease” early on because her mom was in love with John Travolta. I loved musicals, especially, “The Sound of Music.” When I was about 11, mass hysteria hit when I discovered the band that my best friend and I still obsess about to this day: Hanson. Some may be ashamed but we love Hanson and always will. I had posters all over my wall and to this day I still know all the songs by heart.

Although a friend took me to see Billy Joel with her family at a small event at a local University, Hanson was my first official concert at a big ass arena. I even got a band shirt! My obsession with boy bands, radio hits and the Pop that made the 90’s epic was also mixed with my father’s tastes. He helped me fall in love with Dire Straits, The Pointer Sisters, Simon & Garfunkel, Crash Test Dummies and Vonda Shepherd. Those loves are still alive today.

I fell in with all the music fads here and there but then I noticed that I’d started discovering more music just by attempting to share a common interest with others. I tended to listen to the music my crushes liked and ended up liking most of it. The Cranberries, NSYNC, Letters to Cleo, The Queers, Rufio, The Used, Anti-Flag, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Bright Eyes, Ja Rule, The White Stripes and NOFX were all bands I’d adopted in order to have a conversation piece with a guy.

I’d discovered that music heals anything. A day, a moment, a second can be so much better with the right song. You can laugh, cry, sing, and become completely happy with the right song to fit your mood. Friendships, some lost and some still strong, also provided a soundtrack for my life. My iPod is like a shrine to my musical idols. Concerts are epic events for me. Music is just in everything for me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

You know those scenes in movies or TV shows that are totally made by the music? I’ve had those moments in my life. I’ve also had those days where I listen to the same song over and over again because it captures exactly how I’m feeling.

I remember when my mom left, my dad bought me Fastball’s debut album because I was obsessed with that song “The Way.” I fell in love with a song called “The Good Old Days.” I must have listened to that song a million times singing to myself “I been thinking about the good old days, decorated in a candy glaze…each photo on the mantle, sweet memories that never will go stale.” I remember long drives with my dad listening to Dire Straits, “Heavy Fuel,” and “Calling Elvis.” I also remember all the words to the Crash Test Dummies album “God Shuffled His Feet.” My dad had a knack for picking out albums with amazing stories, which totally plays into my tastes even now.

After I watched the movie, “Almost Famous,” I became obsessed with 70’s music. My dad had most of these gems on vinyl. Zeppelin was my favorite music to listen to at the end of the day in a nice warm bath. I listened to those songs during breakups too. When my first official boyfriend and I would fight I’d blast The Used, “Buried Myself Alive.” I fell in love with punk rock and all its sub-classes when I was 19. I still listen to it when I get upset. Those lyrics “You almost always pick the best time to drop the worst line, you almost made me cry again this time, another false alarm, with the flashing lights, well this time I’m not going to watch myself die…I buried myself alive on the inside, so I could shut you out, and let you go away for a long time…I guess it’s better you trapped yourself in your own way, and if you want me back, you’re going to have to ask, nicer than that!”

I’ve had those movie scene music moments too. This one I will never forget; my friend Danielle and I were going on one of our afternoon drives in my car and we were seriously rocking some Elton John on a summer day. We had the windows down and were blasting “Tiny Dancer,” when we hit a stop light and some local hippies sunning on the line look over and see us singing and join in: “Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer, count the headlights on the highway!” It was amazing.

My husband and I always hit the karaoke scene as soon as we turned 21. We first sang “Jackson” by Johnny Cash and June Carter. He became somewhat famous for his rendition of Gin and Juice and I rocked Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” more than a few times. Journey is my all time favorite 80’s band. I’ve decided that Journey is the best thing that came from the 80’s besides me and I once serenaded my husband with “Faithfully,” to show some love.

I hit the Indie scene hard right after my punk phase and it’s still a heavy obsession. My friend turned me onto Jenny Lewis, Postal Service, The Faint and Death Cab for Cutie. Jenny Lewis is the lead singer of Rilo Kiley and has a million side projects. She is my idol. She’s a redhead with a wicked voice and I would marry her if I could. Another friend got me hooked on the Decemberists, whom I also passed over to my husband. We’ve seen Death Cab and the Decemberists more than a handful of times and would pay to see them again and again and again. These artists are epic storytellers.

They have written songs that have spoken to my very heart and soul. Somehow I always manage to hear them when I need it most and the perfect song always plays to fit my mood. When my ex-boyfriend just disappeared and dumped me, he wrote an apology letter to everyone, BUT ME. I listened to Death Cab for Cutie’s album Plans a million times and played myself “Someday You Will Be Loved,” over and over, pretending he meant to say goodbye and apologize. I heard them singing the story from him, about me: “I once knew a girl in the years of my youth, with eyes like the summer, all beauty and truth, but in the morning I fled, left a note and it read ‘Someday you will be loved.’”On that very same album my future husband and I found “our song.” Some think it to be somewhat sad and slightly morbid but we find it to be raw, real and true. Our first dance was to “I Will Follow You Into The Dark,” which still makes me cry:
“Love of mine, someday you will die, but I’ll be close behind, I’ll follow you into the dark. No blinding light, or tunnels to gates of white, just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark. If heaven and hell decide, that they both are satisfied, illuminate the “No’s” on their vacancy signs, if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I’ll follow you into the dark.”

After I saw the film, Garden State, I completely agreed with Natalie Portman’s character, Sam, when said that the Shins would change your life. I became completely obsessed with the song “New Slang.” It became a theme song of sorts and I still feel like it tells the story of my life and it has one of the most poetic lines ever written in it: “I’m looking in on the good life I might be doomed never to find.”

I could quote music all day. When I worked at this Mexican Grille it was an iPod playlist shuffling all day and, not only were most of the songs Spanish, but the only songs I could stand over and over were either Jack Johnson or Jason Mraz’s hit “I’m Yours,” because it reminds me of a first dance with a very important friend of mine.

Music has always made me feel better. I will never get sick of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing.” Whenever I’m down, that song always makes me happy. It’s so true that certain music fits certain moods. I do love crappy Pop music because it’s catchy. I download Billboard’s annoying hits all the time. Even though I truly believe that music has moved in a direction that scares me, and that there are a lot of mainstream, commercial bands out there that are completely talentless and annoying, I still manage to find artists who can reach out to me.

Recently I stumbled upon Florence and the Machine and she is an amazing artist. Some of the bands that I saw years ago that I wasn’t crazy about have grown on me because of a certain song. Other musicians have come to me through movies and television shows or other friends and acquaintances. There is always a song in my head and always a song in my heart. Most of the time they don’t even match!

Everyone has different tastes for music. I used to have fights with an old friend because he would make me listen to bands I just couldn’t connect with but would never give my music a chance.
What is one person’s trash is another’s treasure. Personally, I’m convinced that Fallout Boy and Panic at the Disco are the same terrible band, but kids love them and they’ve obviously touched a lot of people because they have a huge fan base. I’m not one to talk, I love Hanson, who most people cannot stand.

That’s yet another amazing thing about music, there is so much of it out there, there’s always something for someone. Although the future of music scares me because technology has given the upper hand to the lesser talented, there are still stars to be made and epic musicians being born every day. We may have Britney Spears and Creed still in our midst, but we also have Lady Gaga and Mumford and Sons around to keep things interesting.

Just remember that music truly is the soundtrack of your life, so what’s on your playlist?