Angry Ali

I’ll be the first to admit I definitely have some anger issues, okay maybe I’m the second one; my husband may beat me to the admission. Some of it may even be misplaced anger, but with anger comes great passion, and that passion isn’t almost me, it’s ALL me. I can become insanely passionate about certain things, more often than not the passion exists for people, and when those anger monkeys come crawling on my back, that red hair sets on fire and my Irish evil twin comes out to take names and kick ass.

Now I’ve had my slap fights, a few kicks and bouts of wrestling and pushing, threw a freakishly small fist out once or twice, but mostly my anger wars are contained in verbal form. If I can make you feel like an idiot, I win. As a child, my parents were all about telling it like it is, but with a lot of irony, sarcasm and cynicism, carefully crafted jabs can also come full circle and take away the sting of a good burn. My uncle calls it, “TDC, Thinly Disguised Contempt,” and I’ve become and expert.

The people who know and love me unconditionally, would say you can read my expression like a book. Others seem bewildered by my sense of humor, and just write me off. Most people find me amusing at least. I had a coworker say once, that she wished she could just be silly and sarcastic, just like me because I can hide how serious I’m being with a little laughter, but still get my point across without stamping a huge, red “Bitch” on my forehead. Now, my angry, sarcastic attitude has certainly gotten me in trouble but it’s also kept certain things in check.

Despite the above admission, I do know when to hold my tongue, I know when to just smile and nod but most people…just…piss…me…off! In general, I HATE PEOPLE as a whole. They are obnoxious, and I definitely lose it every now and then from the stupidity of the masses. When I’m angry I make jokes ranging from the mean to the downright offensive, but if it boosts morale, hey, it’s a job well done.

What’s funny is, I was a nanny for 10 years. I have infinite patience for children, but adults are not my strong suit. I spend nights worrying that my anger will mold into hatred and I will become one of those people who can no longer find the good, but then I remember that if I can laugh through the frustration, I’ll see the light again. And so, Almost Angry Ali becomes comic relief.

I’ve almost let my angry whims get the best of me. I’ve almost had my anger take a completely destructive form. I’ve almost been saved by those angry and hurtful things others have said, done to, and thought of me. I’ve almost let my anger allow me to surrender, but an angry Alison is a passionate one and so long as I can find that balance, I’ll be almost human.