The Ugly Truth about the Beauty of Pregnancy

Six months into pregnancy, I’m feeling pretty good. I have the big old baby bump and the hormones to boot!  But there’s so much that no book, no movie, and no Google search could ever tell you about the horrors of pregnancy. And the worst part is, it’s barely physical or mental, it’s all the outside sources converging into one big ball of disaster.

Part One: The Shower

My friends threw me an amazing baby shower. And I had my baby shower at the beginning of my 6^th month. Why? Everyone asked, “Why so early!?” Well, many reasons actually. The first one being, our due date is January 30^th, 2013. Who wants to wait until around the holidays when everyone’s broke and then try and get gifts out of them? The second one, I knew six months in I would still want to be around people in a celebratory capacity. When I’m 8-9 months, I’ll barely want my husband around me. Why push our luck? Thirdly, we live in Florida and October is a great month to have outdoor events and the free place we had the amazing event allowed us to take over the patio. It’s a win-win.

I work with most of my friends so the shower created quite a stir.  I work in a place with about 50 employees. I have a great relationship with about 30 of them. Everyone wanted to go. We’re open 7 days a week so my girls tried to make it on an early close evening and make it an easily accessible event. Two weeks before the shower the drama fairies dropped glitter bombs all over. People who RSVP’d were dropping like flies, and all of the sudden people we never thought would show up, were definitely coming. It was slightly overwhelming! On top of that co-workers were arguing about my shower and the schedule to accommodate everyone requesting to go.

The shower went off without a hitch. We have some amazing people in our lives who contributed A LOT. All of the sudden we had such an amazing collection of things, both necessary and fun. The girls who threw my shower are amazing and we will never be able to thank them enough!

Part Two: The Social Commentary

Everyone wants to know about your pregnancy, but what YOU don’t want to know, is their opinion on how you’re handling things. Doctors are one thing. Doctors are made to scare you. My doctor yelled at me for gaining too much weight because I started to be able to physically eat. My husband yelled back at her that he intended to feed his family and I looked beautiful. Then my doctor scared us into flu shots, which I’m still recovering from. She basically said that if we refused and the baby and I died, it’s not like she didn’t warn us; such a calming picture.

What’s worse is when people ask and you tell them and then they interject why they are right or why you are wrong. I’d been verbally accosted throughout my pregnancy, so I was used the form of mental abuse, but now there were other forces at bay. We’d made the executive decision to do cloth diapers. Why? My husband was allergic to regular diapers, and with a lot of help and advice from a co-worker and his wife I found out that I’d save an obscene amount of money with just a little bit of help. When someone asked about diapers and I told them cloth I got two adverse reactions. One saying, “Oh, that won’t last long,” and another saying, “Cloth? Ugh! What a pain!” I’d learned then that this “hippie” idea may not easily be reveled in.

Then there’s insurance. Everyone wants to know what kind of insurance you have if you have it. At this point I know so much better than to even reveal that part of our lives, but I’ll tell you this: it’s OUR BUSINESS. There are far worse off people in this universe than us, and what we do or do not have, whether coverage is great or crappy or nonexistent, we KNOW WHAT WE ARE DOING. This baby girl was NOT A SURPRISE. We entered into this amazing journey knowing that we could handle ANYTHING because that’s what we do and WHO WE ARE. No matter what, this baby girl will be LOVED and will NEVER go without the basic necessities in this world. EVER!

And of course, there’s the name. Up until last year my heart was set on naming any female of mine Lillian. But then when we were discussing boy and girl names and my husband threw out the name Luna. The middle name was easier. He came up with infusing both of our father’s middle names together into Raylee: unique and gorgeous. And so we had Luna Raylee Chriss. And that’s when the jokes came in. Look, every child will be teased but everyone just hopped on the point, “Wait, you’re naming your child, Luna Chriss?” Some of my favorite people didn’t get it right away. But then it sinks in, it sounds like ludicrous.  But what’s so ludicrous? Naming our baby girl something like Luna Raylee Chriss? Or naming our child something ordinary or trendy? She’s ours and she’ll wear that name with pride. So laugh all you want but our child will be amazing because she is OURS!

Part Three: The Gross Anatomy of Pregnancy: What the books don’t tell you!

Pregnancy is beautiful yes, but here’s what the books never admit: Your boobs grow to porn star proportions. It’s alarming and not charming. They itch and they’re sore so even though your husband wants a little boob time, if he comes near you, you’ll slap him away. Your ankles at one point, no longer exist and you do in fact get the ever dreaded “cankles.” It’s not a good day.

Bending down in any way becomes something out of a science fiction novel. Either you’re getting yelled at for not squatting or your knees bump the belly or the belly bumps other things. It’s so awkward. Your hormones are so out of hand you feel bipolar. You’ll be crying and then laughing and then crying.  Forgetfulness plays a large part too, so odds are you’ll forget if you were laughing, why you were. You’ll forget something that just happened 10 seconds ago.

The gas is out of this world. It’s not even the smell, it’s the activity. You’re a walking whoopee cushion. You’re just one big ball of bloat and gas. And I think I saw the hints of a double chin in some photos: scary!

 

The bottom line is that pregnancy is definitely an adventure in more ways than one. You’d be surprised who comes out of the woodwork to surprise you with love and support and sometimes gifts! Then again it can stir a dirty jealousy in people. Some people, people we’ve had into our home, fed and helped out, have treated me like a chubby leper! No “Congratulations,” no card, no gift, no acknowledgement! But a high school friend you haven’t even seen for four years will pleasantly surprise you and send you an expensive gift off of our registry.

Pregnancy is tough. It’s not easy in any way. But it is a gift. Some people enter into it hastily. Others enter into it accidentally. If you’re like us, you enter into it knowing it will change your lives for the better and take you into a realm you never thought possible. And everything they don’t tell you, you’ll come to easily. And everything people do tell you, you’ll learn to tune out. Just remember: it’s about you, your partner and the life you’re nourishing. Keep that in mind and all these other stressors just kind of…fade away!