Health Hassles

The irony in life seemingly never stops, and today was quite the test, quite the example. It was doctor time, check up time, wellness physical and all that. Last year was the slippery slope of the the thyroid drama. This year was all new challenges.

The weight thing I've accepted will just always be a struggle. While I no longer carry the self-hatred and self-loathing I once did, and I am avidly working on loving my body more mindfully, technically I am overweight. I don't feel it much, if at all, but by American body mass index standards, yes I am overweight.

So first thing in the door they stick me on that scale. I knew it was coming. I didn't enjoy the number, but it also wasn't a complete surprise. I wish I could say "yeah because all I do is eat." I wish I could say, "Too many desserts" or "too many days of skipping workouts." It's none of that.

Ironically enough, this is the most sober I've been since I was 18. Compared to this time last year I'm drinking a fraction of what I was. I went from drinking a couple nights a week to only weekends to now, two drinks once or twice a month. I went out recently and had A beer. Just one beer. Yeah I'm growing up and adulting. It's happening.

I've curbed the bread stuff too although pumpkin loaves are necessary. It's fall. Mostly though, I have no one to impress but myself. I'm not even partial to what hubby thinks. Judge not lest ye be judged, or whatever.

After that was the blood work part. The good news was my natural thyroid supplement from Amazon is doing it's job. I'm actually stoked about this. The bad news was within two new categories. Before I divulge the bad news, this isn't like "life-threatening" or "life altering" but when you're 34 you just want to hear "You're fine, maybe exercise more."

The new blood panel was too much of the bad cholesterol and not enough of the good cholesterol. Also my liver levels made mention as, we'll see what happens next year but they are "off" but better than last year. I'm not sure any of that was encouraging.

If I'm being completely honest and candid, I'm just waiting for the day I walk in and they say "cancer." Is that morbid and horrible? Sure. Is it kind of realistic anymore? Maybe. I had my appendix removed when I was 17 which has been my only surgery. I've had a sprained ankle but never anything broken. My hospital experiences with my daughter made me regret not having a home birth, especially when it comes to breastfeeding.

I'm not exactly the biggest fan of western medicine. I know it works wonders. I know there are some people who receive excellent care, but if I didn't have to go to the doctor, I doubt I ever would. I feel like they never tell you good news, but almost only bad news. Or maybe that is just me.

Mostly I feel like health stuff is mostly a hassle. Everyone has their own ideas and own experiences with it but what I have experienced in the medical fields have been mostly negative. 

So here is my ray of hope or my positive outlook in the murky midst of adulting: I'm glad I got a supplement from Amazon that doesn't break the bank that is actually helping my thyroid stay okay. I'm glad I have a cholesterol excuse to force my husband to make me more salmon and halibut and such. My liver? Well, I'm not drinking  much so suck it up buttercup.

I work out often. I'm mindful about what I eat. I'm not going to let some number on a scale and some blood work translator scare me into wasting my life away missing out on a great pumpkin beer, or go low carb. Bread is life. Even Jesus said that. I will, however, stay aware.

My body tells me a lot. My body can tell when things are off and I'm going to "stay woke" as the cool kids say. In this world with health advances and opportunities, I plan on staying as un-medicated as possible but as present as I can with what information I'm given.

I had a moment where I thought this could negatively affect my vacation and I just thought, no thanks. If ever there were a reason to eat and enjoy what I like, this would be it. I haven't binged on potato chips for a good car ride in ages. There will be full breakfasts each morning. While I'm glad I'm "in the know" about my body, part of my loving that body and loving myself, is to live my life to the fullest, which goes for my stomach too. After all, there are pumpkin coffees, pumpkin loaves and wedding catering at stake! Did you say steak?!?