Quotes, Notes And Being In The Same Boats

I am a self -proclaimed "quote hoarder." My attachment to Instagram is 90% quote and affirmation related. I have notebooks in storage just filled. Why? Quotes are a great pick me up. Ironically I'd heard a story about someone during world suicide awareness week and in reference to people's struggle with suicidal thoughts it was mentioned that maybe Social Media was a negative influence and when we are down we don't need to find the next inspirational quote but look to higher powers.

While I appreciate the sentiment, I'm the opposite. When I'm in the worst mood or head-space, I look to the perfect quote, perfect song lyric or perfect phrase to support where I am mentally and to give me a perspective on it. Notes come along the same lines in terms of, sending a note or positive affirmation when you're having a bad day might in turn shape someone else's day into something better.

As far as being in the same boat or boats for cutesy rhyming title reasons, I think that feeling as though you're not alone and adrift is kind of important. Yesterday was a Monday of a Monday. Not only did I "party" hard on Sunday with calories and all things meant for Saturdays in retrospect, but effectively reminded myself of my age, and that my body is slightly delicate. Yesterday I was just off my game. 

My entire household stayed up too late Sunday pretending it wouldn't matter. My daughter and I suffered the most and just ended the day fragile and in a funk. Yesterday instead of having a shorter attention span in my exhaustion, however, I was able to channel some soft maternal instincts and be a serious mother.

When I picked up my little one I could tell she was down a peg. She's not sick but her allergies are killing her. We have a regimen to combat it but when she started feeling better, we got lazy and she had a bit of a revisit from the snots and sinus stuff. Yesterday I said, "Okay let's forget the normal rules and get you to just chill."

We made some agreements on how the night would go. I let some of the rules slide and she did pretty well. When I got her to communicate properly her anxiety about being assigned "new jobs" in class tomorrow was part of the issue, but also just needed a good night's sleep and some medicine to help with her feeling a little off. I was able to keep my calm in my hangry, sleepy state.

Okay I lost it once when she tried to get sour cream and then Nutella on my sheets. EW! I said go clean up and keep your face off my linens! Kids are gross!

There was a weird sense of comfort knowing we were both in the same boat. She was anxious about school. I was anxious about life. I literally admitted to myself yesterday that I had extended myself out to people and was in over my head, like, I was not equipped to handle their drama.

Last night and today I have been saving and pinning and noting all the quotes. Some are silly. Some are inspirational, and some are ironic. I've posted in excess on Instagram because I'm sorting things out with all of my coping mechanisms. Sometimes I feel like in this age of technology my emotions and rationalizations are a vision board of all the feels. Anxiety makes me feel scattered and all over, but if I can collect my thoughts into one succinct sentence, maybe I can re-frame them into something pretty? Like a collage!? 

I also build scenarios for the reactions of others. I go over how conversations may or may not play out. Yes, it is exhausting being inside my head. This is why I work out. I physically tire out my body so my mind gets shut off as my body hits "sleep mode" at bed time. Ridiculous but true.

I feel comforted with quotes. I feel comfort with being in the same boat or boats with like-minded people. With the quotes, I feel it's a reminder that someone, somewhere felt that too, and now you have the words to put the feelings down on paper. With the boats I just feel like not being alone is always a good thing to remember, I mean the planet is packed. Alone alone would be quite an achievement, but finding commonality is crucial.

Sometimes when I see my daughter acting too much like me, it can be cringe-worthy but last night being in the same tired, whiny boat with her made me more compassionate and considerate, which I really held close to my heart. Being able to turn it out and "be a mom," is not something I do with confidence, so when it happens I kind of want to do a happy dance. Ironically yesterday I did find an awesome quote about how moms need to take care of themselves, how moms need self care because kiddos need them, so maybe that quote did the work necessary to carry me through.

As I'm rounding out all the ideas for this installment of the blog, I would want to leave this idea with my readers; we all have our own coping mechanisms for when we are going through mentally stressful times. We all have our own triggers, so what works for you, let work FOR you. Maybe all my posting will have people asking "What is she doing?" Maybe people will just think "She's probably sorting things out." Maybe people won't even notice. For now, for me, for this day and this time and this mentality that I'm operating within, the quotes, the notes and the being in same boats are all pushing me through process. Find what's yours and keep working!

10 Things I Hate About You Is Twenty Years Old... And I Can't Wait To Share It With My Daughter!

On March 31st, 1999 a new teen flick took the world by storm and is now a cult classic, and one I cannot wait to share with my daughter, "10 Things I Hate About You."

Not only was this the late, great Heath Ledger's first film burst as our new heart-throb, but Julia Stiles showed us that being a less popular female at school was in fact "cool" and you could still get the guy. Unlike cheesy hits like "She's All That," where the geek gets glam, 10 Things I Hate About You was much more philosophical in my humble opinion.

Loosely based on Shakespeare's, "The Taming of The Shrew," the lead character Kat, finds out young and early that popularity comes at a price and then rejects all things trendy to march to the beat of her own drum. Her sister Bianca, on the other hand is one of the coolest, a Gretchen Weiners-type if you're a Mean Girls fan, and attracts all the jocks. The one nerdy guy who has his eye on Bianca is that of Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who shortly after this film, started taking on roles in all genres and wowing us as more than just "the kid from 3rd Rock From The Sun."

My favorite part of this film is, unlike my other cult faves like Clueless, it's witty and very true, whilst staying romantic and easy to fall in love with. This movie showed me that the skinny, pretty girl can be sharp, hilarious, and intelligent without the need to impress people. The one-liners aside, it exemplifies some pretty epic GIRL POWER as well:

It shows the many worlds that young girls get stuck in between: girly and ditzy, versus smart and sassy. It also shows how, as women, we can all support and learn from each other through the drama and dichotomy:

For me, I wanted to be a little bit Bianca and a lot of Kat. Bianca seems completely superficial at first but we grow to see why she's like-able, where as Kat is abrasive but so smart you instantly admire her. Then you see the selfish jock versus the cute nerd followed by Health Ledger as the intelligent bad boy, antisocial "loser" that no one would call a loser to his face because he could kick your ass that girls warm to once you get past the rough exterior.

Years ago for Valentine's day my husband gave me a copy of this movie on DVD which remains un-opened because on the plastic he drew a list of 10 Things He "Loved" not "Hated" About Me, as homage to the end when Kat reads her poem that ended up being the fantasy speech of every 1999 teen girl with a crush, showing us all that there is a thin line between love and hate.

My daughter is only 6, but come about 11 or 12, we'll be watching this together. Why? This movie really is timeless. I mean look how far Shakespeare has come, let alone this quippy interpretation. I'll watch this with her because it shows all the levels of teenage struggle.

You have the overbearing dad, the out of the picture mom, you have the sister who is up to no good and will do anything to keep her reputation, the sister that could care less about social aspects of school and follows all the rules at home, the jock with a one track mind, the nerd with a heart of gold, and then bad boy gone good when he's treated decently by the girl he is made to view as a possible enemy. Throw in the weird betting business, some fun sidekicks, and emotional plot twists and this movie is just plain entertaining!

The movie is filled with constant quote-ables like when Kat warns Bianca of partying with the clique: 

And then Heath Ledger encourages the underdog to go for the girl:

 

Above all, I love how it takes every quintessential teen problem and shows you the pitfalls: Bianca learns that some guys just want sex and will cast you aside as soon as you don't give them what they want. Kat learns that even though she hates the popular kids, being included with them among peer pressure issues can still make you act just like one of them. She happens make an ass out of yourself, which somehow makes her more like-able and relate-able. Heath Ledger learns that reputations aren't everything and you shouldn't gamble with money or people's emotions, especially when you don't even really know the person being cast as the butt of the joke. Joseph Gordon Levitt learns that nice guys will often get the shit end of the stick, but if you persist and keep true to yourself, you just might get the girl. 

It all ends well, people end up where they should be and you even get to see a girl take a swing at a bad guy, stand up for herself, her sister and her man and win the day! GIRL POWER! 

Julia Stiles poem at the end is something I'll always remember because it was every teenager's glimpse at the mess of love and a gorgeous moment of coming out of being crushed that you opened yourself up to someone who hurt you:

She acted it out quite well. In a happy ending with great music there is also a quick exchange referencing buying back affections and forgiveness which now I realize was understated in it's time. It's a simple exchange that kind of reminds viewers that the apology should be as loud as the disrespect, but let's not get carried away on "buying" back your relationship. 

When I watch this with my little girl when she is much bigger, I intend to point out all of my musings in my 20 year obsession with this movie, but mostly emphasize that Kat is a strong, sassy, fierce, and highly intelligent woman who will do no harm and take no shit. We need more "Kats" in the world and if my daughter identifies with her the way I did, she'll keep this movie as a cult classic herself and keep the legacy going. 

Coming of age teen movies have their place and I intend to make she she gets the best and even some of the worst in her film education. My dad and my hubby even revere this movie as a great one and have watched it with me before. So thank you for 20 great years, 10 Things I Hate About You! I intend to play you for at least 20 more!