The Hurry-Cane

If you watch the news, you are aware that there is a hurricane heading towards Florida. To me, it should be re-named a "Hurry-cane." Why? Because everyone is in a HURRY; a hurry to to do what? Wait it out. Hurry up and wait!

Already water is gone from store shelves, people are at gas stations filling 10 spare cans, and gas stations are out of fuel. Traffic is ridiculous while people play with ideas of evacuation. It's hysteria.

We have lived in Florida for a decade as of July and have seen one legitimate hurricane. The last time was an anxious, stressful and exhausting experience mostly because it was our first big one and because everyone out of state was all over us. They increased the mania because they just had no idea, which while I understand, but is not remotely helpful. 

As for me, we err on the side of caution. We have supplies. We are ready. Things are different mentally for us all from the last round and this time we will be more capable than ever to handle whatever turn this thing takes.

I'm loving the memes on Facebook and Instagram making the whole thing funny. That, and hurricane parties are what Florida is know for after all. I actually didn't understand the whole "stock up on alcohol and party" mentality for a hurricane until Irma. My husband's boss sent us with insanely good wine and food and to calm my anxiety and stress, nothing is better than red wine and steak right?

I was in a hurricane-panic induced food coma and slept through the worst of the storm. My daughter just remembers cooking outside and staying up late because we turned the AC way down to make the place hold some cool in anticipation of a power outage and told her to soak up that technology not knowing how long we'd be out for.

I remember people banding together, especially the community members in our neighborhood. My husband did a huge cook out for everyone the night before the storm was supposed to hit. Literally the waiting on the unknown was the worst part. You never know what the damage will entail. There were tree branches and things fell on cars and roads. Some signs came down but we had nothing too crazy. Others weren't so lucky. But, just the not knowing was maddening.

Sometimes with the hurry-cane I just want it to hurry up and get over with already. I just it to arrive, do it's damage and leave. Get outta the way! Go away Dorian. Also, I must say that the hurricane names are weird sometimes. Like Andrew and Michael are regular, mundane names but Irma sounded like a mean German Grandmother name and Dorian? I can't NOT picture the Mask:

So here we go, slowly bracing ourselves for the unknown in this hurry-cane situation. I'm hoping to fill my tank this afternoon and call it a day. We shall see!

Moving From Florida To Oregon...Opposite Of What We Did

This month marks a decade of us living in Florida. Does that make us Floridians? Yesterday we said goodbye to some good friends that are moving from Clearwater to Portland Oregon. Ironic; insanely ironic.

I was listening about the excitement, new job opportunities, and being in such a beautiful place and I felt so happy for them. And I realized that we did that for ourselves, on our own and are finally settled into it.

I fell in love with Florida when I was 14. The ocean, the restaurants, the beach shops, and it was warm and sunny. The thunderstorms only lasted 20 minutes and life looked so pretty. My residence with my mom from 16 to 17 literally only lasted a year so I felt like I got robbed of my time testing out Florida. 

When I was forced back to Oregon it didn't bother me. Temperature-wise Oregon was so much like Pennsylvania so it didn't phase me. I loved the hikes, the coast and the culture though. I loved the University of Oregon campus and fell head over heels for COFFEE on the west coast. I had a lot of family there. It was a new home for sure.

Oregon is beautiful. I think I'll end up retiring there when I've saved enough money for the high heating bills I will have to sustain comfort. Turns out I have thyroid issues that make me unable to deal with the cold, no seriously. I also had a hard time with the seasonal depression stuff. 

I listened to our friends list their reasons for being happy to move and I sat in confidence remembering I had the same kind of list for Florida. It felt oddly gratifying. I don't regret moving. I never have.

When I had my daughter, it was really rough but some of that was due to other issues within our household, it wasn't just feeling far away. Don't get me wrong, I miss SO MANY PEOPLE, very dearly, but I like being on our own. We've kicked and screamed and fought our way to where we are but we're on the way to a better, more stable place.

I also felt some positive affirmation because I wasn't envious or jealous of people moving on and moving up and progressing in their lives and careers. I was genuinely happy that these friends were excited about a new slate, and a new place. That made me feel like I've come a long way personally.

I'm also selfishly happy, which I admitted to them, because we have more friends for my daughter in Oregon when we come to visit now. Regardless, we had a good day with good friends for a goodbye, and I appreciated all of it, especially the food.

It helped me realize that everyone has different phases, different choices, and most people will operate opposite of us, but that doesn't mean it's a negative thing. I think we all make big choices, big changes and work hard at completely different paces. What we did a decade ago and what friends are experiencing now doesn't make one better than the other, it just inevitably brings us closer. 

I don't think it's a coincidence we befriended them. I don't think any of it wasn't meant to be. I know we were meant to be exactly where we are, no matter what we had to endure to get here. So in life we have our opposites and our hurdles but we still keep kicking. And I like knowing, on this lazy yet productive Sunday, that whether you move from East to West or West to East, whether you're opposite or the same in things, we're all just making our choices and doing what we can for our families and our lives.

I Looked On Pinterest For Blog Ideas...Here Is The Result

I just wanted some blog prompt ideas. I really didn't know what would come up. This is one that caught my eye. So, for fun, I'm actually going to do this entire list in this post. Yeah, get ready!

1. Spring Bucket List - I don't think I'm organized enough to have a life bucket list, let alone one for spring. Also, I live in Florida so spring is more of like a pre-summer with varying degrees of sweaty-ness. If I had to put something on my spring bucket list it would be, going to the beach. 

2. Spring and Easter Do It Yourself - I will never give you advice on how to do anything crafty because it would end up on the Pinterest Fail boards. I can follow okay directions but I'm much better with the whole, "Paint the bird house" like it looks in the picture thing. I also feel like I have no business telling anyone to do who, except my husband, child and dog. 

3. Easter Cupcake Recipe - Insert laugh track here. Go buy a Betty Crocker box of cupcake mix, read the directions, cover in icing and sprinkles. Eat. There ya go. I would never instruct others on how to cook. I'm barely allowed in my own kitchen to make a sandwich let alone actually cooking. 

4. Spring Cleaning Tips - Buy a robo-vac. Eufy is my favorite. Best money I have ever spent.

5. Photo Diary - Also known as Instagram. Find me there. Follow me if ya want.

6. Spring Clean Your Wardrobe - I did a huge purge. I feel better. But as far as this goes, it has to be up to you. If it feels overwhelming, wait until you get that urge to just say no to keeping things. Or perhaps make a "maybe" pile in case.

7. Spring Fashion Wishlist - As a mom, are we allowed to have a wishlist outside of "Coffee, quiet and sleep?" I stopped Wishlist-ing things years ago. It became a sad twist of like "remember when you used to want that nice purse but then you needed new tires?" Um no. Fashion Wishlist? How about $40 to spend at Old Navy to see how many items you can come home with? Challenge accepted. Shopping is usually more of a chore than fun anymore. Ugh, adulting blows. 

8. Do a Spring tag - No idea what this means. Like #spring? Not quite sure. 

9. Spring Nail Art Tutorial - Wait, I'm supposed to have the time to cook, clean, bake, do my closet, give craft advice, take myself shopping and do my own nails well? Is this blog idea based on a human or robot. I just had my first manicure in like 2 years people. I'm lucky to get two pedicures a year if that. I'm in no position to tutorial anything nail related unless you need a how to on making an appointment.

10. What you eat in a day - This one should be called - How to loathe yourself in one paragraph. Which day? A good day? A bad day? It goes like this: coffee, cereal, coffee, water, yogurt, some kind of lunch-type small meal, maybe leftovers, coffee/tea then small snack, huge salad with lots of things and La Croix, random candy/cookie type desert, tea, bed. Sometimes I sub the salad with other leftovers or a junk binge. Weekends usually do not have this structure. On a bad day there is twice the coffee and lots of junk food.

11. Spring look book - I can't even. What does this even mean and why does it sound like some kind of Dr. Seuss-ian thing?

12. Favorite Scents - Sweet Pea at Bath and Body Works, Anything Coconut, fresh baked cookies, when my husband makes buffalo sauce and/or tacos, fire pits. 

13. Events in your Town/City - Safety Harbor is all events, all the time. There are few months where there aren't things to do every weekend. Google it all! 

14. Spring Skincare Routine - Is this supposed to differ from my regular skincare routine? Is there like a Peeps FaceMask I'm missing out on? I wash my face, where little make-up all either E.L.F or Covergirl, and then try to remember to moisturize.You're welcome.

15. Easter Egg Taste Test - Okay so my husband and I have very differing views on this. We have never ever done traditional egg-dying with our child. Why? Back in my day we used to dye hundreds of eggs and hide them for the church egg hunt, before plastic eggs were affordable and everywhere. It was less fun and more of a chore so I do not enjoy. Plus no one but my dad ate hard-boiled eggs, I hated the smell and my mom always complained. So, this one is out. 

16. Fitness Routine - I'm up at 5 every morning to hit 9 Rounds Fitness and get my 30 minutes of kickboxing in. If I miss a morning I try to sneak in later and still get my time 5 days a week, minimum.

17. 10 Things I Love About Spring - 1) Easter chocolate sales 2) The smell of Lilacs 3) Rainy days 4) My daughter's Easter Crafts 5) My daughter's excitement about Easter 6) People with pretty and manicured yards that have amazing flowers growing for me to admire passing by 7) Allergies ruining my joy of everything else listed previously 8) The Justin Timberlake It's Gonna Be May memes 9) The time before the humidity comes when it's comfortable outside 10) Fresh fruit

18. Books I will be reading - "Theft By Finding" by David Sedaris will take me quite some time as I'm the slowest reader ever, but that's what's on my nightstand.

19. Spring make-up look - Not too old, not too young, and not like I may be moonlighting as a hooker or stripper. that is what I'm going for at least. Anything to cover the tired.

20. Photography Tips - If you can't get the selfie in the first 10 shots, try again later. Also, by the time you get the phone ready to take the picture you probably just missed the rest of the moment.. Just enjoy the moment. Unlike social media may have you believe, you actually don't need to capture every single moment as proof of "happiness."

21. Spring homeware haul - I. Don't. Buy. Nice. Things. I have a dog and child. That one was super easy.

22. Spring Decor Tour - See #21. That one was even easier.

23. 5 Blogs to Follow - Mine, The one I write daily, Other Mom Blogs, This one, and My blog. 

24. Cafe/Restaurant Review - I'm kind of a harsh critic. I also don't go out to each much. I highly recommend GiggleWaters, Parts of Paris, Mystic Fish, Cafe Vino Tino, Elizabeth's Cafe and Bakery, and the Sandwich on Main. I say with confidence that at those establishments, your money is very well spent.

25. Packing For A Spring Break - I am 34 with a 6 year old and I live in Florida. Spring break does not exist for me, as I work full time and my kid is just in aftercare camp when she's not at school. I would pack clothes though. Good tip, right?

26. Spring GRWM. I got nothing. What does this even mean? Yeah, I'm not going there.

27. Easter/Spring Recipe - I don't cook edible things. Can I make you a reservation?

28. Lush Easter Haul - Like the brand Lush? I don't buy nice stuff anymore, but I did love their bath bombs back in the days where I knew how to relax.

29. How to do the perfect flatlay - I have no idea what a perfect flatlay is. I suppose you could Google it. I have no interest in this really and I realized this list is British so, yeah I definitely feel a little lost in translation here.

30. Best cities to go to for Spring Break - Anywhere that isn't your home? As a Floridian, Spring Break stinks because we are crowded with spring breakers and our beaches much be shared along with restaurants and everything else. So I would imagine just being lucky enough to have a spring break trip would be pretty cool.

So I did thirty little posts and I feel accomplished. Some of them are far more silly than others but what an interesting way to kick off the weekend. Come on 4:15PM, let's get here fast and get this weekend started! Happy Friday Readers!

The Florida Move - Who, What, When, Where...Maybe Even Why?

We're inching closer to a full decade as Floridians and my husband also has reminded me, I've officially lived in Florida longer than I did in Oregon and I'm 3 years shy of beating out my 13 years in Pennsylvania. The Florida move was a big one for my husband but less so for me, and 10 years later I figure I can better explain the move now, as opposed to before.

When I was all of 7 years old and obsessed with Father of The Bride with Steve Martin, I decided I was going to get married in my dad's church, have the reception at our house, that I loved so much, of course stay close by to family and raise my kids right there, right? Why would you ever leave "home?" That's how it worked right?

By 13 my mom was consistently out of the picture and my dad, having moved to Pennsylvania for my mom and her family more than anything else, was growing tired of being where he no longer seemingly had a reason to solidify his roots. My dad attempted to find us a secondary space in North Carolina, our version of a summer home he bought for him and my mom. When the shit hit the fan, he lost the house, and all his future plans, so he started devise a decision on what he wanted in terms of a new life alone.

He decided on Oregon. My mom ended up in Delray Beach, Florida for her first solid year of stability. I came down for summer camp and visits and much like the opposite of Frozen's Elsa, "The heat never bothered me anyway." I fell in love easily with Florida. My grandparents were just an hour north of her in Port St. Lucie too and I was just in awe of all things Florida.

I loved the palm trees, the big changing signs along I-95, the malls, and it was bright and sunny so that you could go to the beach or the pool year round. I loved the big houses almost as I loved the little key west style one-floor ranchers and loved that it was WARM!

When I was vying for having a mother figure back and my dad was itching for distance, he said he was going to go back to Oregon when I was 16 and I had zero interest in following. I wanted to live with my mom in Delray. So, I finished my sophomore year of high school living with my Aunt in Pennsylvania and then was shipped to Delray Beach.

I landed in Ft. Lauderdale, and did my junior year in Delray Beach and literally lasted a year to the day, before my dad packed up all my stuff and dragged me across the country with him to Oregon to finish high school and then go to college. My mom and I were not fit to share a roof. Unfortunately this still stands and has been recently proven. 

After moving to two high schools in 2 years, moving didn't bother me. I could be a nomad, whatever. In fact for the next 7 years, I moved once a year. My dad rented a place on Hilyard in South Eugene for High School. After that we moved to West Eugene to an apartment for my first year at community College. Then I was on 11th with my first roommate, then I lived by myself on High Street, then to Bailey Hill in a little townhouse with a roommate, moved in the same complex but a one bedroom with my then boyfriend, now husband, and then with my Aunt back in South Eugene, whilst I planned my graduation and Oregon escape.

My sights were originally set on San Francisco, or New York. I always dreamed that being poor in a big city was more romantic than being rich in the suburbs. But, after another bad situation with my mom derailed me, and I had a year of pretty intense depression and anxiety, I gave into the idea that maybe I was the type that could settle down and have a family, and my adolescent Carrie Bradshaw dreams were just the stuff of immaturity.

My husband had never really lived anywhere. Just Oregon; Medford and then Eugene. When he met me, we visited Pennsylvania often, he saw the Jersey Shore and even Delray Beach, Florida. When I mentioned possibly leaving for a new place, he was all in. But then I was like, well if we're moving 3,000 miles together, if we were to get married we'd do that before we left right? Because I'd never be that person to get married on a beach. 

So, in the midst of planning a cross country trek and new life, we snuck in a wedding that turned into an epic send off and I was ready. I had studied for about 4 months in Europe in 2007 and it was just the best time ever. I LOVED to travel. It didn't  matter if it involved road trips or flying anywhere new, I was in. My husband was just kind of starting to embrace new horizons. Moreover for me, I wanted a place that was just ours.

My mom almost successfully ruined our relocation, but I refused to let her take away one more thing from my life. Originally I wanted to go back to Delray, but my husband had an Aunt in Tampa and I had had cousins move from Pennsylvania to St. Petersburg, Florida about 2 or so years prior. We visited once and very much liked it so we just changed the location a bit.

I was so ready for a clean slate, a warm new place that didn't even know anything about us. In Oregon, everyone knew my husband and I as this entity of "us," which was great and fine, but I just wanted our own real place.  I also didn't want to get stuck doing everything that everyone around us in Oregon was doing, but rather to find my own way.

Finding my footing was tough at first, but after about 2 job changes I found a place to thrive. After I left Pennsylvania "home" became a fluid concept anyway. It wasn't a place but more, a feeling of comfort in who I was with. My husband was home. The apartment didn't matter, only that we were in it together. 

For career reasons, I knew that Oregon couldn't support what I wanted to do for writing. I was in for a rude awakening that nowhere really could, especially in my married life, and also that our lives couldn't support endless internships or relocation for such things. Therefore, I just found my way with jobs to pay the bills.

In truth, with a broken heart from family life, and a guy next to me saying he wanted to go with and love me, why stay put? I wasn't immediately ready to settle down and have a family, but I liked knowing I didn't have to be alone. I wanted to just live a bit. 

Maybe my husband's reasons are completely different and I won't speculate but for me, the "who" was my husband and I, the "what" was, "moved to Florida," or as my sister said, "You can't move any further away." The "when" ended up being June-July of 2009 because we took our time getting down here. The "where" changed from Delray to Tampa Bay and the never ending "Why," would be best answered as, because we deserved a chance to have something that was our own.

Of course a decade later with a dog and a child, and even a house purchase in, boy did nothing go as I'd imagined. Expectations have been shattered and things have been harder than I could have ever thought, but I don't regret leaving. I asked my husband the same thing last year and he agreed.

Don't get me wrong, I love Oregon. I miss it. But I cannot handle the cold. The cold makes me so very physically uncomfortable and depressive. I'm much better here in the Sunshine State.

The why is complicated, I'll admit. I also think as I get older and one can only hope, wiser, it may become more succinct but I just wanted something that was completely and utterly ours. In Oregon I would have had babies immediately with everyone else, got a job I hated for no pay and struggled through the seasons to find what I was even looking for, and I didn't feel like that was where I should be. Luckily, I had a co-pilot who wanted to come with. 

Ironically now I have zero desire to leave Safety Harbor. My daughter jokes about having a different house and I'm like, "Uh, no, this is the forever house." I've had what I've built threatened to disintegrate often, and this is the first time I'm not like, "Sure we'll just move along elsewhere," but rather I'm like, "I refuse to give up what I've worked hard for."

It took me 8 years to land a job that even kind of used my degree, not to mention a job that actually was friendly to my anxiety and personal struggles. It took me 8 years to find a place I would want to stay and right now I'm having to rebuild some massive personal destruction and I won't let anyone tell me I shouldn't be spending my time to be a better mom and human. When I had my daughter there were a few times when I wished family was closer, but even when we go visit, I'm constantly reminded at how hard it is there for us, or at least for me.

Florida may not be forever but at least I can see the first hints of calm. I love this "colorful, lawless swamp" that I call home and why even? Because it is my home. And home is where the heart is right? I think we can end on that cliche for a Monday!