The Vomit Draft

I'm sitting here listening to Dax Shepard interview Mike Schur on my ArmChair Expert podcast, and for those of you who don't pay attention to sitcom writers, Mike Schur did a lot of work on the American adaptation of The Office, he did Parks and Recreation and now has brought us my new obsession, The Good Place. They are talking about all kinds of things but I was very attentive as they started to talk about writing.

As a serious fan of these shows, meaning, I can quote the Office like Friends, Parks and Rec is just becoming more and more my default binge-watch, and The Good Place is just so frigging awesome, it's pretty interesting to hear Mike Schur talk about the writing process and how he operates. Dax Shepard brought up something that totally just blew me away, saying that he allows himself to just write terribly from time to time, and to just know that sometimes things will come out horrible and be utter garbage. He accepts this and allows it.

Mike Schur called this "The Vomit Draft." It is named so as something that is just proverbially "puked out," with yuck results but is stuff that you need to get out of you to be able to better write the next draft and the next draft. It seriously got the wheels turning in Anxious Alison's mind.

Dax Shepard also mentioned that if you sit down and think you're going to just write Shakespearean on the first try, you'll probably fail miserably because that's not a realistic expectation or even fair goal. But to allow yourself to have some crap amidst the good is much better.

I'm not sure if I proclaim myself as a "writer" really, as more of a ridiculous blogging enthusiast with some followers. I'd love to be paid to be a writer. Especially if I can write cutting edge things about why the Office is awesome and Parks and Rec is epic as well. I'm not sure I can hob nob with the "writing" elite just yes.

I'd love to have the time and creative space to write a book but, I'm not so sure that's realistic, let alone to be anything like Shakespeare goals. I think that blogging daily is the closest I've gotten in years to getting my writing done in a productive way and I'm pretty sure that Haiku, which was barely a Haiku was a "vomit draft."

The whole thing was fascinating to me. We put these ideals on people and imagine that writing just pours out into liquid gold. We assume that all of the writers of the shows we love have it all figured out and everything is a perfect puzzle. We forget that, they too, have to wade through the crap, er uh, vomit if you will.

Some days I can write these raw, fun, amazing pieces of myself and people read and say "Yay!" Other days I struggle to find something that's not vomit. It's kind of comforting to know that the writers that I admire have the same kind of days.

I also kind of love that it is well known as "The Vomit Draft," apparently. To me this is hilarious. As a mom, you get used to gross things fast, like poop, pee and puke. Ironically my husband has a Vince Vaughn in Four Christmases-like approach,

 

and he just immediately heaves and needs to get himself away. For me, I'll be covered in puke and still comforting the kid. Moms, and I guess writers can handle the vomit. My husband is very much akin to Alec Baldwin in 30 Rock:

I think creativity is rough, regardless, and there will always be someone who can do it better. I once tried to make a wreath at a Halloween thing my crafty mom friend threw, it was better as a centerpiece and could easily be posted as a Pinterest fail. I got to play with a hot glue gun though, so that was fun, but my friend made the wreath perfectly, and 3 other wreaths perfectly so, yeah, she has that part down. There will always be someone who does it differently, and with better results.

I can probably write more easily than others, though, and definitely better than a few. Essays, reviews, summaries and such come so naturally to me. So, everyone has their thing and for me, it's much more writing than anything else, even amidst the "vomit drafts."

Mostly the writing discussion on the podcast made me feel even more affirmation in my Podcasting choices and obsession, but also in my writing. In recent discoveries and acknowledgement of my growth, it seems as though some of these routines have been super fruitful and helpful in different areas of life and I'm embracing that success. Win!

On this particular Tuesday, where I am tired and emotionally a little done, I feel triumphant in knowing I'm doing okay even when I "vomit draft" a haiku or weekend post that is lackluster. For those of you faithful readers that endure it, just know it is part of everyone's writing process; I'm letting you in on my musings, good and bad! 

I Looked On Pinterest For Blog Ideas...Here Is The Result

I just wanted some blog prompt ideas. I really didn't know what would come up. This is one that caught my eye. So, for fun, I'm actually going to do this entire list in this post. Yeah, get ready!

1. Spring Bucket List - I don't think I'm organized enough to have a life bucket list, let alone one for spring. Also, I live in Florida so spring is more of like a pre-summer with varying degrees of sweaty-ness. If I had to put something on my spring bucket list it would be, going to the beach. 

2. Spring and Easter Do It Yourself - I will never give you advice on how to do anything crafty because it would end up on the Pinterest Fail boards. I can follow okay directions but I'm much better with the whole, "Paint the bird house" like it looks in the picture thing. I also feel like I have no business telling anyone to do who, except my husband, child and dog. 

3. Easter Cupcake Recipe - Insert laugh track here. Go buy a Betty Crocker box of cupcake mix, read the directions, cover in icing and sprinkles. Eat. There ya go. I would never instruct others on how to cook. I'm barely allowed in my own kitchen to make a sandwich let alone actually cooking. 

4. Spring Cleaning Tips - Buy a robo-vac. Eufy is my favorite. Best money I have ever spent.

5. Photo Diary - Also known as Instagram. Find me there. Follow me if ya want.

6. Spring Clean Your Wardrobe - I did a huge purge. I feel better. But as far as this goes, it has to be up to you. If it feels overwhelming, wait until you get that urge to just say no to keeping things. Or perhaps make a "maybe" pile in case.

7. Spring Fashion Wishlist - As a mom, are we allowed to have a wishlist outside of "Coffee, quiet and sleep?" I stopped Wishlist-ing things years ago. It became a sad twist of like "remember when you used to want that nice purse but then you needed new tires?" Um no. Fashion Wishlist? How about $40 to spend at Old Navy to see how many items you can come home with? Challenge accepted. Shopping is usually more of a chore than fun anymore. Ugh, adulting blows. 

8. Do a Spring tag - No idea what this means. Like #spring? Not quite sure. 

9. Spring Nail Art Tutorial - Wait, I'm supposed to have the time to cook, clean, bake, do my closet, give craft advice, take myself shopping and do my own nails well? Is this blog idea based on a human or robot. I just had my first manicure in like 2 years people. I'm lucky to get two pedicures a year if that. I'm in no position to tutorial anything nail related unless you need a how to on making an appointment.

10. What you eat in a day - This one should be called - How to loathe yourself in one paragraph. Which day? A good day? A bad day? It goes like this: coffee, cereal, coffee, water, yogurt, some kind of lunch-type small meal, maybe leftovers, coffee/tea then small snack, huge salad with lots of things and La Croix, random candy/cookie type desert, tea, bed. Sometimes I sub the salad with other leftovers or a junk binge. Weekends usually do not have this structure. On a bad day there is twice the coffee and lots of junk food.

11. Spring look book - I can't even. What does this even mean and why does it sound like some kind of Dr. Seuss-ian thing?

12. Favorite Scents - Sweet Pea at Bath and Body Works, Anything Coconut, fresh baked cookies, when my husband makes buffalo sauce and/or tacos, fire pits. 

13. Events in your Town/City - Safety Harbor is all events, all the time. There are few months where there aren't things to do every weekend. Google it all! 

14. Spring Skincare Routine - Is this supposed to differ from my regular skincare routine? Is there like a Peeps FaceMask I'm missing out on? I wash my face, where little make-up all either E.L.F or Covergirl, and then try to remember to moisturize.You're welcome.

15. Easter Egg Taste Test - Okay so my husband and I have very differing views on this. We have never ever done traditional egg-dying with our child. Why? Back in my day we used to dye hundreds of eggs and hide them for the church egg hunt, before plastic eggs were affordable and everywhere. It was less fun and more of a chore so I do not enjoy. Plus no one but my dad ate hard-boiled eggs, I hated the smell and my mom always complained. So, this one is out. 

16. Fitness Routine - I'm up at 5 every morning to hit 9 Rounds Fitness and get my 30 minutes of kickboxing in. If I miss a morning I try to sneak in later and still get my time 5 days a week, minimum.

17. 10 Things I Love About Spring - 1) Easter chocolate sales 2) The smell of Lilacs 3) Rainy days 4) My daughter's Easter Crafts 5) My daughter's excitement about Easter 6) People with pretty and manicured yards that have amazing flowers growing for me to admire passing by 7) Allergies ruining my joy of everything else listed previously 8) The Justin Timberlake It's Gonna Be May memes 9) The time before the humidity comes when it's comfortable outside 10) Fresh fruit

18. Books I will be reading - "Theft By Finding" by David Sedaris will take me quite some time as I'm the slowest reader ever, but that's what's on my nightstand.

19. Spring make-up look - Not too old, not too young, and not like I may be moonlighting as a hooker or stripper. that is what I'm going for at least. Anything to cover the tired.

20. Photography Tips - If you can't get the selfie in the first 10 shots, try again later. Also, by the time you get the phone ready to take the picture you probably just missed the rest of the moment.. Just enjoy the moment. Unlike social media may have you believe, you actually don't need to capture every single moment as proof of "happiness."

21. Spring homeware haul - I. Don't. Buy. Nice. Things. I have a dog and child. That one was super easy.

22. Spring Decor Tour - See #21. That one was even easier.

23. 5 Blogs to Follow - Mine, The one I write daily, Other Mom Blogs, This one, and My blog. 

24. Cafe/Restaurant Review - I'm kind of a harsh critic. I also don't go out to each much. I highly recommend GiggleWaters, Parts of Paris, Mystic Fish, Cafe Vino Tino, Elizabeth's Cafe and Bakery, and the Sandwich on Main. I say with confidence that at those establishments, your money is very well spent.

25. Packing For A Spring Break - I am 34 with a 6 year old and I live in Florida. Spring break does not exist for me, as I work full time and my kid is just in aftercare camp when she's not at school. I would pack clothes though. Good tip, right?

26. Spring GRWM. I got nothing. What does this even mean? Yeah, I'm not going there.

27. Easter/Spring Recipe - I don't cook edible things. Can I make you a reservation?

28. Lush Easter Haul - Like the brand Lush? I don't buy nice stuff anymore, but I did love their bath bombs back in the days where I knew how to relax.

29. How to do the perfect flatlay - I have no idea what a perfect flatlay is. I suppose you could Google it. I have no interest in this really and I realized this list is British so, yeah I definitely feel a little lost in translation here.

30. Best cities to go to for Spring Break - Anywhere that isn't your home? As a Floridian, Spring Break stinks because we are crowded with spring breakers and our beaches much be shared along with restaurants and everything else. So I would imagine just being lucky enough to have a spring break trip would be pretty cool.

So I did thirty little posts and I feel accomplished. Some of them are far more silly than others but what an interesting way to kick off the weekend. Come on 4:15PM, let's get here fast and get this weekend started! Happy Friday Readers!

"I Just Cleaned That!" A Mother's Memoir

Does anyone else feel like this is almost just their constant state? Work, kid care, clean up, tidy up, sleep, repeat? I feel like I'm always cleaning, always need to clean or I totally just cleaned that so how is it filthy already?

In this day and age with technology and limitless resources for things, I still feel like there aren't enough hours in the day. I don't care how "organized" I try to be or how many lists, videos or ideas I pin on my Pinterest, it doesn't make them happen. And also, I spend way longer pinning things to my boards than I have ever spent completing a real Pinterest task. I would assume I'm the only one who does this but they have too many Pinterest fails for me to feel like the sole person who is guilty of this.

This past year, which was mentally just completely defeating for me, I realized how much the tasks of cleaning and grocery shopping were just engulfing all of my weekend to the point where I was just so depressed and tired. Friday nights my daughter had demanded a movie night where she watched a RedBox on our large living room TV and I would clean the house after doing the grocery shopping. It became like a race almost, and this huge challenge. By the end I just lost steam and wanted to curl up in bed. We'd be up until 10 most nights by the time I finished so as to get it all done fast to better enjoy the weekend. 

I tried to plan and budget, budget and plan. It was so much to deal with. And then recently I discovered Wal-Mart Grocery Pick-Up. I know, I know. Wal-Mart is evil and blah blah. Here's the thing, we used to shop exclusively at Winn Dixie but their general product quality dropped. Then we switched to Publix, my favorite supermarket but, I don't care who you are, it's expensive. I tried BOGO shopping at Publix but then I ended up so obsessed with the deals I got carried away and didn't actually meal plan. We had enough Ketchup for a year though! Total score!

Finally I looked at how much we were really spending on the items we went through like no tomorrow in this house: bread, cheese, snack type foods, milk, chicken and ground beef or turkey. These were all just so much cheaper at Wal-Mart unfortunately. And grocery pick up was effortless, you pay online and they load up your trunk. Now, I still go to Publix for all of our lunch meat, our produce and many of their signature items (hello all bakery items), but the Wal-Mart app and pick up are my go to. I especially love that it shows me how much I'm spending so if I'm getting carried away I can be like "Okay that can actually wait a while, I don't need it THIS week."

My husband or I are able to pick up at Wal-Mart whenever and I go to Publix every Friday on my lunch break and am able to keep all the cold stuff in my fridge at work for a few hours. Then I'm not already exhausted and agitated when I get home. This was a game changer honestly. 

I don't care who you are, navigating a store with children is maddening. You forget something on the list. You tell yourself to remember something and forget that too, and then the child talks you into $20 worth of crap you don't even need just to keep them quiet. Or they have to stop and pee and you forget what aisle you're on. Going by myself is like a vacation, yes, I'm that cliche.

And cleaning? If I could afford a house cleaner, I would have one, but currently I can only afford myself and sometimes the help of my husband. This past year I bought myself one of those Robot Vacs as a Christmas present to myself when it was $50 cheaper than I'd been stalking all year. I saw a friend with one and she has 2 dogs and her house was so clean. I was like whoa, did you JUST clean? She showed me this thing and I was sold.

We run that thing daily and not only is the floor less gritty, it cuts my floor cleaning time in HALF each week and picks up all remnants of child and creature. I've also had more help from daughter and husband in terms of tidying up, which makes all the difference because I am always tired, which I may have mentioned in previous posts.

And I hate when you have people over and of course, you've scoured your home in preparation and they're like "I don't know how you do it all!" I know that's meant to be a compliment but I always want to say, "Yeah this is all only because I let you into my house, normally we live like gorillas and there is crap everywhere."

My house is wonderful clutter. School papers, receipts for who knows what, SHARPIES from my husband, the chef's, kitchen, food wrappers from daughter and husband and dog things. Depending on how late and how tired the husband is, clothing often ends up strewn on one or both couches. There are small blankets and random stuffed animals everywhere. My dining room table always doubles as a craft space, paint place, and area to sprawl ALL THE THINGS. We don't even actually eat there very often. Maybe twice a week on a good week.

Keeping up with everything can feel so...unending and laundry truly is the "Neverending Story" of adulthood, but cleaning, working and chores are just a part of life. I often remind my daughter that we are the ones who keep this place clean so don't trash it. Don't just toss something on the floor that could easily go in the trash.  

I think we let these parts of life bog us down. The "have to's" end up burying us alive and it all feels so heavy. I'm not an organized guru, I just caved and found something that worked for what we all wanted and needed. Sometimes schedules get crazy and money gets tight and it adds more stress, but again, par for the course. Everyone has their little luxuries and "treat yo self" moments. Mine are the RoboVac and a cup of $4 coffee each week. Other people have house cleaners or Shipt. I have Wal-Mart pick-up and lunch time Publix runs. 

Every week I still need to clean. Every week we still need food, but navigating the "I just bought that," "I just cleaned that," moments successfully and not stressfully make all the difference. Feel free to email me what works for you!