Gutters, Glitter and Getting Comfortable in Adulthood

My daughter just got out some Glitter that was a gift and is dumping glitter on glue. Comedian Demitri Martin says, "Glitter is the herpes of craft products." My husband has a serious glitter aversion. He very much hates them.

After a work out and a calm morning, I came home with a slight headache prompting my husband to take my daughter to the hardware store with him to get more gutter pieces to work on stuff with the house. I rested, rebooted and started on the chores.

We made plans for this day that have since fizzled, but I'm actually okay with it all. I guess this weekend kicked my butt. After an enlightening conversation, I've realized that through everything, not only have I maintained a good outlook in general, but I'm making the best of what's in front of me and I feel proud. This is a rarity for me.

We're a little bit in debt, but crawling out well. We have our structure and our plans. We have some fun things planned for us that I'm looking forward to also. We're growing and doing our best. 

Moreover, the gutters and glitter and just continued metaphors for life. We borrowed more than I'd like from savings for gutters because it's rainy season and it's a small home improvement thing that we need. There is glitter all over my table, my bench and a pan and spoon but, we'll clean up the mess as best we can. I mean, what else can we do.

Doing the best you can with the situation at hand is such a task sometimes, but it's all you can do. I finally caught up with a friend and was asking about long-term plans only to get the answer "I don't know what's going on, I just have to take things as they come." I laughed and replied, "Hey, one day at a time is all you can do sometimes, that's how I roll."

Adulthood is rough. It super sucks honestly, but we all have to live it. It's all what you make of it. That theme is so important. It is imperative that you stay positive even when you don't want to. 

After getting some serious rest and actually having time to chill I can now appreciate the process, the struggle and the growth more than when I'm cranky and hangry. Yesterday I was not in a great place so I couldn't find my positive vibes. 

Memorial day can come with a lot of mixed feelings for many people and I don't think of it as just BBQ day. I invite you to take some time and think about how far we've come because of the people who fought for us, and how far you've come personally because of your fight for yourself. Just enjoy the day because we're back to the grind tomorrow!

Last Day Of Five - All The Feels

Tomorrow is my daughter's 6th Birthday, thus making today the last day of her being 5. This whole age five thing has been an interesting ride, I will say.

She is fierce and strong-willed, which is a love-hate thing. Some days I am just in awe of her. Others, I get so mad that she's exactly like me.

The other day we had a face-off that was one for the books. I said, "Now go brush your teeth and go pee before we leave please." Her response, "Um, yeah I'm not going to do that unless I can watch Doc McStuffins on your phone in the car for the drive." I saw red. WHAT!?

This kid could be a negotiator one day. She seems to have a plan of attack and well thought out reasoning for everything. I think my favorite part of 5 was watching her become such a little person though. During some very dark and trying times she would actually reach out to comfort me and when she got frustrated with me, she'd call me out, which was both amazing and infuriating all at once. 

She grew into her own and has more independence. It's amazing. Dressing herself (it never matches but I could care less, it's just adorable), bathing herself, feeding the dog, walking him a bit more, putting things away on her own. She thrives.

She's learned to read and compare words and have real discussions with me, more than "She was mean to me today and I'm never talking to her again," or "He called me this or that name!"

She was the most fun for Christmas ever. Totally into it and so engaged for the entire thing. It made the holiday so exciting and fun.

She has manners and knows how to hold her own in social situations. I've loved seeing her independence evolve. I still have those moments where the memories of her as a baby come up on Facebook and my heart hurts but I love this stage more I feel.

I wasn't the biggest fan of infancy honestly and once we got to 4 and 5 I knew how to do things with her instead of feeling like we had to be more carefully involved in certain things. We can go have adventures now!

I'm not that mom that gets teary-eyed often about her growing but I try and let her know I see and appreciate her doing new things and being more "Luna" than before. She's such a trip and of all the things I've done, she's by far my best achievement and reason for life, without a doubt.

So we're entering the next age tomorrow and I'm so ready, or as ready as I can be. I'm thinking this year we do an epic road trip and she starts being my date to some weddings. I think we'll try some better beach days, new parks, maybe some pottery painting and craft classes. We are going to enjoy all of 6.

I'm still not ready for crazy sports schedules, sleepovers and too much time away but I'm ready for this next walk of life with her holding my hand because it's not going to fit in mine the same next year. Let's do this!

"Chriss-Mas" Time

“Your excitement for the holidays is creeping me out a little bit,” says my husband the day after Thanksgiving, as I order a Starbucks Christmas Blend and ask which radio station is playing Christmas music for the rest of the year. I looked at him with crazy, childlike Christmas, eyes and whine, “But it’s Christmas, and this year we’re staying home!”

Don’t get me wrong, I love me some big family Christmas celebrations. For the last two years we’ve been lucky enough to fly up north, see snow and our relatives and nestle up by the fire, exchange gifts, laugh, eat too much food, drink too many festive cocktails, and even paint cookies. But this year, we are having our first, married “Chriss-Mas,” at home!

My bestie and her beau are “Grinch's.” They hate Christmas, and that’s okay but for some reason this year I’m on some strange Clark Griswold, circa “Christmas Vacation,” “You-MUST-be-cheery,” tangent. I’m making the puppy a stocking, and even making and filling stockings for the “Grinches” too. I’m trying not to go spend $50 on Christmas movies because I’m sure they’ll all be on TV and Netflix soon enough, and I’m fighting every urge in my body to just keep “Elf” on repeat, 24-7.

Perhaps I caught the Christmas spirit bug, or perhaps I’m just excited to be with the people I love, but we are planning a truly, awesome Chriss-mas. My dad was coming to visit and we were going to get a tree, I’ve been crafting things left and right. I was determined to make this year perfect.

The image was already imprinted in my mind, along with ideas for other projects: Christmas morning with coffee, a grand breakfast with mimosas, lazy in our pajamas opening presents, watching “A Christmas Story” and “Elf,” all day, later having a big dinner with the bestie and her man complete with ham, pie, carbs and everything. It just has to happen this way.

Christmas is one of those holidays that come with mixed memories and drama, but even without my dad staying through the holiday, we’ve managed to keep it pretty relaxed so far. We got the biggest tree we’ve ever had and decorated it while watching, “Christmas Vacation,” and laughing. It was the first time I’d decorated a tree with my dad in over 5 years. Those are the moments that make me want to have an epic Christmas. We made cookies and my cousins bought us Christmassy flowers, someone even bought me a poinsettia, even though I truly hate those things it certainly makes the house have a holiday feel.

I majorly cut back on Christmas shopping this year. I had some strange crisis of conscience where all of the sudden I was guilt ridden for not being able to afford gifts for everyone and their brother, sister and mailman. I had to stop myself: this is exactly how the Grinch came to be. Christmas shouldn’t make you feel bad. It’s harder and harder to get in the spirit each year. Sure when you’re around kids it’s contagious, but why feel bad when you should be concentrating on what it’s all about: the togetherness, tradition and family, not just presents, or lack thereof.

My best friend has three amazing girls all under age 10. Somehow, unbeknownst to her, she’s managed to instill the idea that Santa only brings one gift. Family shares plenty of gifts but Santa only brings one. As you can see, my best friend is a genius. This makes Christmas even more special. I want that feeling; of asking for something that really means something, instead of more crap to call your own, and hoard.

My husband kept asking if I could have anything, what would it do, and I got depressed because all I could come up with was appliances but really, all I wanted is exactly what I was getting: a genuine, “Chriss-mas:” Me, the man and the pup, a tree, food, Christmas movies, a few gifts and bliss. Because as much as we miss everyone we are far away from, it’s really about this little family, and it’s about time we had our first “Married” Christmas!