LICE.
I had a traumatic lice experience when I was about 13 that has scarred me for life mentally. My dad and I did a road trip across the country and I picked a hotel, a chain hotel that will remain nameless, and among a toilet with a nice turd in it to start, we left with a pen, a pad of paper and some complimentary lice. They stayed dormant on me for about 3 weeks all the way until we returned home.
I was that teenager that started "collecting" stuffed animals as if to hoard for future children. My talking Elmo had to have surgery to remove the talking parts so he could be cleaned. My dad and I were mortified; it was horrible. It was after my mom had left so he felt like a crap parent and I felt so gross and embarrassed.
It was about a month after the lice fun when I was younger that my dad took me to the salon to get a hair cut and style for the dance. They found lice and wouldn't finish my hair and I left crying. Around we went again.
Since my daughter started in school, lice is just part of the experience; it's like getting the flu or a cold, eventually it comes your way. Now I totally have serious issues and PTSD about it, so I use Tea Tree Oil as prevention a lot and have been pretty tenacious about things. I kind of always knew it could or would happen eventually.
The aftercare program my daughter attends has these outbreaks once a vacation I swear. There's one at summer, one at Christmas and now spring break. Usually we fair well but this time, BOOM, it hit both of her besties. I had been warned by the moms and stayed positive, but I accepted our fate that it could happen.
Yesterday I picked up my daughter. I was ready for early bed time and restful evening. She was in her car seat 2 minutes and she yelled, "OH MOM! I'm sooooo itchy!" I almost panicked but instead took a breath and asked, "Where?" I wanted to blame fire ant bites from the play ground or some mosquitoes but she said, "The bottom of my head and my ponytail!"
SHIT. Did you notice LICE and SHIT are both 4 letter words? Fun fact.
I remained calm and said, "Okay let's just get home and check." My daughter was an anxious wreck. Some of it looked like dirt flecks so I got out the flashlight. Ever so tiny, there they were. I Googled to be sure of course but it was them. Tiny, itchy devils! There were only about five that I spotted in one area. Off to Walgreens was the plan.
My daughter immediately crumbled, "OH mom WHY!? WHY DID I GET LICE! I'm so sorry, mom! EWWWWW! Who gave me their lice! Am I injured?" Completely out of character, I kept my cool. One issue at a time. Divide and conquer. I was in this with just her, it was just her and I, we could do it.
I called my mom who miraculously was available and asked her to come by so I could go get eradication supplies. She said, "She will want mom, I'll go to Walgreens and get whatever you need." This was huge and helpful.
Next, we tackled the sheets everywhere, and her 900 stuffed animals. Holy laundry, Batman! My daughter was still upset, distraught and just weeping. I kept calm and told her we could push through it all. She helped me with the stuffed animals and sheets and we readied her for the tub. I promise a cupcake for while she was sitting with the stuff on her head for 10 minutes. I read the directions after my mom dropped off the kit and completely coated my home in Tea Tree Oil. It smells like a hippie paradise.
My daughter has thick, curly hair. Hair brushing was already a task. This was going to suck. She did great with the stinky treatment and then the kitchen sink rinse off. The brushing, was rough. Once I started to see them appear in the hair, there weren't many but getting them out was such a pain in the ass. She was crying and screaming. I broke down 3 times just yelling at her and we both kept apologizing. I apologized for yelling and that she was going through it, and she apologized for screaming and that she had lice. Back and forth, tears and stress.
By the end of the hour combing and brushing she was so done. I was too. She barely ate dinner and both of us were exhausted. We got home at 6. We had started everything by 6:30, we weren't done with hair until 8:30 and we stopped the mania around 9. I still had my sheets to change and endless laundry.
I told her over and over she did so wonderfully. The scramble still wasn't over. All I thought about was the first process, that's it. I didn't even kind of think about anything else. When my husband called from work to check in, he said, "Well what about tomorrow, she can't go to aftercare and come back with them again? You just treated her."
SHIT.
Now what? It was 9PM and conventionally too late to bother people. First thing, I check with the babysitter, the babysitter that I already booked from 5:30PM to 11PM because I had a concert to go to with a friend. Let's ask her to come early. The husband worked at noon. I told him to fish for help. No one took the bait.
My daughter and I passed out hard. I barely moved until just before my alarm. When I woke up the anxiety of what to do with her kicked in. There was an annoyed mom part of me that wanted to tell daddy that since he missed all the lice fun, he could just go to work late while I went back to normalcy and he could deal. The considerate mother and crazy planner started to message those in my village that were amazing helpers.
Two close mom friend of mine stepped up big time and I could rest easy at work. One more lice hurdle handled and I'm mentally prepping for another treatment this weekend. Those things are not welcome in my home.
To my surprise my daughter and I pulled it together nicely. A year ago I would have been screaming, crying and making everything so much worse. But this time I just wanted to handle the issue, and make sure my daughter knew, not only was this completely not her fault, but it was just a crappy thing that happened and it was okay to be upset.
I grabbed her little face when I finally ceased the violent combing and said, "You did so good. You're tired. You did such a good job in a bad situation and I love you. Be tired, and just relax." I was finishing up chores and I heard her talking to the dog, as if to commiserate and say "Your sister is tired and not feeling well. Your sister had a bad day."
I went to bed and had a moment where I was disappointed that my husband wasn't around for the festivities, but then realized that I was so well adjusted to being the mother in action, that I'm not sure it would have made much difference aside from the fact he's the "better brusher." Today I called my dad and he asked how I was holding up because we both had instant flashbacks to our lice days and he wanted to check up on me. I was totally zen about the whole thing.
It's weird how these situations have ushered in more of my evolution and ability to stay calm in the chaos. I would compare it to this:
It now made me feel like the old me was Te Fiti, raging on, and now I'm all zen, and waiting to nap.
The fact that I am so calm is so weird to most because I've been walking anxiety for years, but if I can handle what I would consider one of my worst nightmares and keep my daughter mentally intact in the midst, maybe I'm progressing as I've intended.
Now it's Friday so I'm going to take my Zen to enjoy it and hopefully the lice understand they are undesirable #1. At least I got a great blog out of it all!
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