Less Is More, I Think I Get It Now

Staying on the topic of continuous lessons, growth and never-ending cliches, let's talk about that whole, "Less is more," thing.

Less is more can easily be applied to certain applications of make-up, in some cases, food and always, always, always, GLITTER.

Lately I have applied the "less is more," theory to text message conversations and tech interactions. Phones are everything these days. I have those horrible millennial moments where I get snotty as if life before smart phones was caveman-esque. When people ask for directions I scoff, "Just Google it!" When my husband complained about his data on his phone, "Gosh, just use WIFI! As if!" Yeah, I have those moments.

Some of these social media things can push you over the edge. Whomever invented the ability and application to see when a message was READ, needs to be sat down for a talk about how this is not a good thing. Let me tell you, the ellipsis bubble awaiting a response is the stuff of pure evil. I loved living in a fantasy world where when you don't get a response to a text message, it was because the recipient never saw it. How insulting is it to think they saw it and then chose not to respond?  I always want to believe they're busy or distracted as the lesser of evils. 

For me, less communication has been more productive this week. Checking in on people is great. Making and confirming plans with friends is wonderful. Asking your husband to grab groceries because you are out of things is essential. But this week I took a step back from my usual anxiety-driven texting mania and I must say, it feels frigging awesome. 

So I think less is more for social media and technologically based communications can definitely come in handy. Have you ever seen that people now have to "take breaks" from social media? I've done it often and people get into a weird panic as if I've been abducted. Which isn't to say that social media hasn't been incredibly helpful in cases attached to things like that - let me make that clear, I was just being sassy.

It's as if your activity online is some kind of sign of life anymore. So you may be actually dead if you don't update your Facebook status often enough, is that what it is? It's kind of unnerving when you think about it.

With this expansion of information and communication, I personally feel we've actually weakened our abilities to properly communicate, not enhanced them. Think of this, back in the day a phone conversation could last for hours talking about nothing or everything and plans were made, and set and followed through. Now, because we can reach anyone, anywhere, in seconds, we can "blow off" plans in a moment's notice. It's not always nice, or fair or convenient. It's not always our fault, LIFE HAPPENS, but I think instant access to communicate has let us become naturally more social anxious, and flaky, or at least it has in my personal realm. Somehow because you can get a-hold of everyone now, you can change anything and everything last minute, it's a double-edged sword.

Some people can do it all and prove that these technologies and communications are way more pro than con. However, some people, like "Anxious Alison" over here, get really wobbly in the new age world. For directions, I could not live without GPS. For music, Spotify is life. For pictures and videos, it's so perfect to have a little device right there. For social interaction, though, I'm a hot mess.

Some days I have handle on all of it and some days I'm on Pinterest and Instagram and bouncing to and from, waiting for this, waiting for that, then I look at Facebook and 30 minutes have gone by! Here comes that balance idea again, and I'm finding my way through it.

I think my husband will forever coin me as "a texter," and don't get me wrong, I will respond within 5 minutes most times. But I do wonder how much things would change if we let go of the devices a bit. Or at least if I did.

I've been working on that diligently this week and I'm proud of my progress. This is not to say you cannot get in touch with me and there are certain people I'd love to catch up with, even via text just so I can feel more on top of friendships stuff, but I'm trying to find my comfort zone. I for one, definitely rely too much on texting and social media as some kind of barometer for life things. It looks absurd when I type that but it is true, regardless. 

So here I am, a work in progress, progress not perfection, and less is definitely more! I'm in all the cliches and just finding my way through this thing called life. I hope that this helps someone feel less technologically anxious and more excited about finding their balance. For me it felt so weird at first, and much easier said than done, but by the end of this week I'm feeling more calm and rested, so I'm hoping for the same for all my readers. Happy Friday!

Moment to Moment Motherhood, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

In my house, mornings are rough. Not for me personally, but it seems my dog, my daughter and especially my husband wake up in such grouchy ways more often than not. With my dog, I just feed him and he goes back to bed. Depending on when my daughter attempts to be awake for the day, I send her back to snuggle with the dog and the husband or she wakes up slowly with every light on and whines at me as I scramble for coffee.

My husband is the worst to wake up. I used to think it was a "Not a morning person," thing but now I just know it's some kind of weird dysfunction. We're working through it. I'm up at the same time every day doing some kind of work-out and then getting myself ready for work with lunch packed and attempting to look reasonably put together to leave by 7:20AM. This usually occurs before anyone else is physically out of bed. Sometimes I throw together breakfast for my daughter if she catches me on the move.

This morning we had mostly good moments. My daughter heard me in the shower and came in brightly and said, "Hi mom!" As soon as I started getting ready she wanted to get dressed with me and sat on the toilet by vanity area and mirror to catch mommy time before work. I have a strict  "Don't be in the way," rule, not because I'm a strict mom but because I have serious "Mommy brain" and when I try to do everything for her in the midst of getting myself ready, I leave the house without things like mascara or worse, with it only on one eye.

She was listening well though. I was straightening my hair and she was somehow impressed. My hair isn't even curly compared to hers and I reminded her my little flat iron was an iron so it was hot. "Mom can you just do that to a small piece of my ponytail? PLEASE?" I did. "Whoa, it's so warm," she said. Then she wanted to know my step by step make up routine, even though she'd seen it a million times. "What's that? What's it for!? Why?" All of it.

I don't remember my mom wearing anything but blush ever. She wasn't a make up person, as to my knowledge, and still isn't. I missed out on make-up, hair stuff and any girl maintenance with my mother. She was never "maternal" in that way, okay she just wasn't really maternal. She dressed me in overpriced name brands to match and look cool though. Any funny shirt or things plastered with expensive brands on them were mine to keep up appearances.

Because of this, the popular girls used to love to "Make me up." It was all very "Mean Girls" Regina George-Cady Heron drama. I had one friend my junior year in high school who actually showed me how to buy and wear, and I've tweaked everything since then to try and look presentable. Every time my daughter says she wants make-up I say, "You have perfect little skin, you have a beautiful face and nothing to hide. You don't need make-up." One of her favorite parts of Halloween was I let her wear eye shadow. She did not enjoy removing the make-up later.

Back to this morning, she was very interested in it all and I humored her. A little powder here and a little powder there but she wanted the coveted eye shadow. I would never do that on a school day. Maybe a weekend. She has fancy chap stick of her own that my sister got her, but fake make-up and soapy kinds of things give her a rash with that sensitive skin so we use caution. Luckily I don't buy fancy enough make-up to worry about sharing with her so, from time to time we get girly.

The moments this morning were cute, so I slowed down and indulged. Most of my life feels like a rush of "Get here, get this done and fast." So, letting Luna hang with me this morning felt okay, until the tantrum. There is always a tantrum.

She gets easily frustrated with...everything. I totally understand this because so do I. But I have years of learning how to internalize everything under my belt. So she was getting dressed and first was the fit about the pants being so difficult to get on and she needed help. She is almost 6. She doesn't need help. She just wanted my attention. And then it was the end all be all, she could only get on one sock. The other was just impossible!

I laughed a little. Not 5 minutes before it was all cutesy Hallmark moments. It could have been something on a commercial for any bathroom product or even a PSA. And then it was world's end. It can switch so quickly. It's the good moments that keep our head above water though, and that can be easily forgotten.

Motherhood, and parenthood in general, can be ugly, and we often wish to just cover all the blemishes in different forms of make-up. Family life is messy. Okay, LIFE is messy. There's poop, boogers, hair pulling, screaming, crying and tantrums and that's just the parents! Funny right? It's all of us, but especially little kiddos, and as a mom, I'm often the one crying. Sometimes it's a happy cry but still! These are the moments, the good, the gross, the bad, the ugly. 

I realize more and more how important those little cuddles are. Those little moments between the angry sock tantrums, being mad I said no, crying about a toy or telling me a story about someone being mean at school and it ruined the whole day just make parenting less heavy feeling. Think about how much we spend and stress on Christmas, but Christmas morning it all disappears when she sees the loot and is so excited that wishes came true! It's the good moments that make up for the bad and ugly ones. Keep them close, and your little ones too!  

It's often best, well this is for me at least, to live moment to moment. Big scheme things and the future can get murky, but knowing that you'll carve out 20 minutes to let your daughter read to you? That can get you through all the spreadsheets, sales reports or customer service you might need to for the day. A funny thing she said can make your week. But most of all, these moments are just affirmations you're raising a great human. So keep up the good fight, even in the bad and ugly moments. And maybe keep some make up on hand in case.