My Parents Were Never As Nice To Me, As I Am To My Daughter...Or So We Tell Ourselves

Have you ever gotten one of those brilliant ideas based on a memory from your childhood that embodies a sense of nostalgia but also makes you so excited to share with your little one as well? In my experience, these often blow up in my face. But maybe that's just me.

I had a normal kid childhood. LOTS of playing outside, roller skating, riding bike, getting dirty, and plenty of swimming in the summer. Living with a little one in Florida has its hurdles but as soon as my little one was of age, I wanted to do all the things with her. The first lesson in outdoor fun was her getting bitten by weird creatures that left welts and discolored bruises or a rash. Now when we go visit Oregon and Pennsylvania, her favorite thing is being barefoot with no ant bites. And less humidity.

Swimming for me was a mess. I still can't swim well, but my daughter is a much better swimmer than I could ever be. I was the kid who got tossed into the deep end and could just barely dog paddle. At least we eased into it with my daughter. As someone with water issues, I was very receptive to any extra anxiety she could have. But she is like a little fish!

Now roller skating was the worst idea I've ever had. I think the first time we tried she was 4. Oh my gosh. They now have these ridiculous "trainers" which are like rolling walkers like old people use to help keep you up. I have a few things to say about this: When your skates get caught under them, you instantly trip and...my parents would have never paid for one of those things. In fact, I don't remember my parents "taking me" skating. I got dropped off and dragged around that rink with cousins or friends and if you fell? Too bad so sad, get up before you get rolled over! You just kept trying! Over and over!

For riding bicycle I remember my dad helping me a lot but my daughter and I just fight. She has legitimately fallen maybe once. The others were more like tip overs and she never even bled. I was the queen of falling off my bike. But if you stayed to cry, you got left behind. I push my daughter to just go! We fight and she'll relive those days in therapy I'm sure. Because I refuse to let her quit, or not learn how to ride a bike. I am determined to make sure we will ride together one day, no matter how much she whines.

As far as getting dirty, my kid is too much like me. I used to say I disliked getting dirty, but then I would spend a weekend with my little boy cousins and that would go right out the window. I always was outside making things with nature, picking plants, playing with and collecting rocks and having adventures. My daughter is the same. While other girls are playing make-up and nails, she is making rock islands and villages and all kinds of things with dirt and sticks and mud. And that's how it should me, in my humble opinion.

Don't get me wrong, she has a tablet. She is definitely a kid in the technological, smart phone world but these aren't things that keep us from being outside and certainly they don't keep us from play dates and other interactions. We keep all that stuff as low key as possible. I still believe kids need to be kids. 

In general, I have to say that I feel I'm way nicer to my daughter than my parents were to me. I don't remember being allowed to sneak into bed or do much more than use the bathroom in the middle of the night. I almost never got to pick what was on TV or what we watched. They took me to some movies and transported me to and from play dates but rarely stayed for the duration. And I was that weird kid that LOVED having a babysitter because my parents were lame. 

I know there are a lot of jokes about  parents and kids getting softer, being coddled and it was never like that "back in my day." There is some truth to it but mostly you figure out what works for you at the time that you're parenting. Sometimes I can be so calm and supportive and helpful to my little one. Other days I'm screaming at her because I asked 4 times already to put the damn shoes away! We all have our moments.

I like taking my daughter to do stuff. We had 3 epic years of Disney fun and memories. We have beach adventures and do crafting things, we go see movies, hit the zoo and aquarium, we do park play dates and get treats. Maybe my parents enjoyed some of those things too, or maybe they just suffered through for my enjoyment. You never know. 

I'm sure Luna will one day report I was not nice. I do speak fluent sarcasm, that's for sure, but I try and be "nicer" than the generation before me. I definitely have had moments where I've uttered the same things my parents did in my childhood that haunt me. Things about making extra messes when I clean and don't ruin my nice things. I then immediately feel bad and give them a treat because...I'm nicer to my daughter than my parents ever were to me!