A Day Off Is Never Really A Day Off In The World of Parenthood

It took me a good 6 years to find a job where I have all federal and bank type holidays off and therefore, becomes a family day off. Family days off are either filled with extra curricular activities and parties or chores. Sometimes, all of the above.

No longer having to scramble for childcare, this year we are all home, so naturally I packed my entire morning with appointments and plans. So this morning was boot camp at 5:15AM, Doctor's appointment at 7:30AM, Vet at 9AM. I can conquer all. I was late for the doctor and early for the vet, by the way.

My husband always gives me a hard time for packing our days with all of the things because I cannot relax. It's seriously difficult for me to do "nothing," although as a mother I firmly feel like, "nothing" doesn't even exist. And in my defense, we pack everything into these days, because weekends are too short! There just isn't enough time for all the things!

I'm even taking a day off because my dad is coming to visit and it's my daughter's birthday in a couple weeks and I thought..."I can take my car in that day without it wrecking everything!" This is adulting at it's finest.

Days off don't really exist in the world of parenthood, because when your children are otherwise occupied, you just do all the things that are more difficult to accomplish when they're around. I feel like I can work so much faster, and more efficiently with no little person talking at me all day. It's the sad truth. 

And now as that "Tidying Up" special on Netflix runs rampant, we have even more subconscious "to do's" on our plate. I seriously had two moms I was trying to plan things with and they were working on getting rid of things in the house instead of enjoying the day off by having the little ones play and just catching up. Of course then I was like, "I guess we should reorganize the kitchen today then."

I used to have jobs where if I took time out of my workday for appointments and other adult things, I'd lose hours and therefore money, or have to stay later and make up for it. Now I don't have that obstacle and it makes a world of difference. Not only can I accomplish things on a long lunch or just by leaving early for the day, but I try to leave the family days off like today, for actual family fun. 

Everything is so scheduled, planned out, and timed, I long for days of no rushing with late breakfasts and endless cartoons. I love last minute play dates with neighborhood friends or an impromptu family adventure. I miss Disney days for that reason, often.

But carving out time to just "veg" is harder than planning the things, I feel. At least it is for me. I always feel pressure to entertain my little one by having friends over or taking her somewhere to expel some energy, but lately I've worked really hard on letting her know, it's super okay to just have a "TV" day. During the week we are go, go, go, schedule, schedule, routine, routine so letting her hang and watch some Goldie and Bear or My Little Pony is no different than my self care of binge-watching The Office. 

I also just love everyone being in the house, even if we are all doing our own thing. Like Luna is watching TV and also decorating the house for some Pony-related task while my husband watches Netflix and has lunch and I'm blogging away at the dining room table as my dog whines for no reason. I just like knowing we're all home.

The times when I've felt the most mentally heavy are those when we are all going different directions. Luna and I will be at play date after play date and party after party with the husband working too much and missing out on everything. We barely see each other and it makes things kinda crappy and depressing. It makes me feel like weekends are just a theory and days off are a mystical unicorn that may or may not be real, it remains to be seen. 

Balancing it all is rough. My husband dreams of days where we do nothing and I dream of days where we do everything. Compromise is essential and difficult. My daughter can get bored and stir crazy but I also have to make her just chill because she sleeps, eats and behaves better when she can self care for her almost 6 year old self. Sound familiar? Yeah she is my mini me; we both love to be social but hit our walls when we need self care.

So maybe we don't have the same kinds of days off as we did in our twenties, but we still have time away from the grind. Finding how to fit it all in but also balance will be a constant struggle but I'm definitely up for the challenge. For days like today, I got the obligatory stuff done before anyone was really up and moving around, now we can all just play and maybe throw in a little productivity. 

And for those of you "Tidying Up" everything, more power to you! If you're anything like me, a little productivity makes me feel less "off" than a day off with nothing done. And feel free to post your go to activities and self care routines too!