Cookie Chair Scare and My Lazy Mom Ways

It is my personal opinion that we are our own worst critics as mothers. We are the most "judgey" on our mothering abilities and lack there-of. I feel I am kind of a lazy mom most times. I blame the fact that I work full time, which leaves everything having to be packed into weekends, but mostly, I just really want to enjoy her being little before extra curricular activity schedule mania begins.

Luna is in this great local after school program that allows her to have mentors and participate in Girl Scouts and do so much in our amazing town on a regular basis. Now I was a Girl Scout too so I didn't hesitate to say yes to this. I loved earning all those badges! 

I got an email from her troop leader, whom I haven't even met yet, because Luna is there full days so I get there just before 6 or my mom or hubby picks her up. The email was talking about cookie season and helping Luna sell. This would be easy because I love to buy Girl Scout cookies like the rest of the world and I spent too many years in sales. Easy!

I did, however, make the mistake of typing in the email, "Let me know if you need anything." Famous last words, right? Then I see the words "Cookie Chair" in a follow up email and I sigh...but it's for the best of the kid right? How much am I willing to do and how much would not doing this screw her up in the future? Like when she's 16 and I tell her she can't wear that skirt in public will she scream at me about not being the Cookie Chair? These are the thoughts I have.

So I ask, what exactly is involved in being a Cookie Chair? The paragraph made me need a nap and I never really heard back from the powers that be in the troop world. I also could not fathom making Luna sit in front of a supermarket dealing cookies for hours. We know enough people to make some sales. Also, I don't like most children that aren't mine. I'm talking one or two handfuls of children that I actually enjoy but kids as a whole? Not so much.

I was still considering it when I got a text from one of my favorite moms who has worked alongside the Girl Scout Troops for quite some time and it said..."Don't do it! Don't be the cookie chair!" I happily read this and chuckled a bit. She told me that she had seen this Cookie Chair title turn the most sane, calm and organized mothers into complete messes because it's so involved and a great deal of work.

I'd never been so happy to receive a message telling me what not to do. I think I might be an extroverted introvert or one of those unique brands of endearing weirdo because I'm super social, and I love being around people and doing all the things, but boy do I need my own time to watch TV and decompress, to just take a step back and attempt to relax.

I work Monday through Friday from 8 to 5, but I work a good 40 minutes from my home and sometimes it can take me over an hour to go 23 miles in the traffic. My gym time is my "me time" and seeing as how I love the Girl Scout cookies, I need the gym. But, the time I get home sometimes it's already bed time for my little and then I have to do my normal mom chores and carve out any time to watch Netflix, read a book or...write a blog even.

I'm up at 4:45AM Monday through Friday and I try to be in bed by 9 but often don't make it until 10. Throw in anything else and there truly aren't enough hours in the day. Saturday mornings are already devoted to Horseback Riding lessons which run about 90 minutes and then any birthday parties, chores, house projects and the like commence, because Saturday is the only day a week we have off as a family. We have to pack it in!

It's taken such a long time but we finally have a bit of a routine going and any large wrench in that can feel so overwhelming. I will tell you that when you drive an hour each way to work every day by the time the weekend comes, you want to go nowhere, so I'm very much happy at home. Most often, if an activity involves leaving my harbor, I won't even go. Everything I need is within 5 miles of my house. I go far enough for work. 

The prospect of adding more, is daunting to me. My mom has phased out helping in non essential times, I'm taking a step back to be more available and my husband works nights. In most ways, not doing all the "mom" stuff makes me feel lazy, but I think I'm just really really tired. I think all mothers are just tired and that's okay. 

I love my job and I love working because I will admit, being home all day every day with my mini me can be rough and I don't think I was actually built for that. To those mothers who stay at home or home-school or both, you are truly my heroes and in an epic mothering category all on your own.

There are times when I shame myself for not being involved enough and not reading to her enough or playing with her enough, but then I also don't feel bad with her when I establish that I need like 20 minutes to just do what I want to do and of course you can come tell me what you need. I also want her to see me working for her to have all these activities and events around her to keep her busy and having fun so she knows someone is in her corner. 

I arrange all the play dates and park meet ups and everything. I do what I can. But I also need sleep, and a quiet dinner with no interruptions from time to time. So just because I'm not a "Room Mother" or "Cookie Chair," doesn't mean I'm never there, and maybe one day I will have the energy for those things. But for right now I like that I had a lazy evening last night that resulted in my daughter reading books to me in bed and doing manicures, instead of me coordinating cookies and crafts and feeling stressed out, most likely projecting all my anxieties on her.

To those moms that are Cookie Chairs I applaud you because you are stepping in when I did not. And if you're a room mother, THANK YOU! But for now, I'll be over here eating cookies in my chair and snuggling with my mini me while I still can as that I will never be lazy enough to miss!