What's With Today, Today?

It's been a weird day for me, I'm just going to put it all on the blog. Not in a bitter way, but, more than just a case of the Mondays, it's just been such a weird day.

So I hit up boot camp of course but then re-routed my routine a bit for getting ready for work, which was totally for the better, but between texting and catching up with people from the weekend and just some mental heaviness, I just feel like "What's with today, today?"

I've started and stopped writing about ten different times, trying not to wax on about a diatribe, just trying to think things out. I'm not sure I have any conclusions.

Today I'm consumed with adulting, trying to plan finances, trips, life, and appointments. Today I'm talking to friends about real things and having strangely deep conversations while I'm at work and it's slow. Today I feel tired.

We had a big weekend, no doubt but sometime all those exterior things in life just catch up don't they?

I'm the type of person who feels like I can carry my weight and then one day I have to have all the feels and maybe a sad day; a watch Steel Magnolias and cry kind of day. I don't care who you are, if you can watch Steel Magnolias without balling, you have no soul, just a side note.

And I don't necessarily feel sad today but I feel a little "wobbly" which is my new favorite word. I have my dad in town and my husband making some waves of change and my daughter just turned six. Am I allowed to wobble right now?

I remember a few years ago after I did my first Savage Race it was this huge wave of emotions. You work hard for months getting ready, you go through this 7ish mile thing, your body hates you, everyone is proud of you and you just return to decompress. For me, my friend had my daughter and my husband was going to unpack our house after we'd just moved. It was not at all what I expected. Not even close. And then I got quite ill from all the exertion and such and was in a haze until I hate something real.

It was two days after I was getting ready for work when I had the stove on for coffee and I was just so, done feeling. I didn't hear it boiling over and was trying to handle the baby and not completely awake and my husband was like "Whoa, what's going on!?" It was then I just realized after such and intense weekend that my mind and body were just kind of defeated. And I think there may be a hint of that in the air today.

Having my dad back down here 6 years after he was here for the birth of his granddaughter and watching this huge pile of sass take on the world is just something else. Not to mention normal growing pains. And I mean that for her, and for us as a family.

I've been pretty open about coming out of a rough rough area recently, which I'm sure will be better explained in future posts. We still have 10 months of this people. But watching the growth and being supportive but cautiously optimistic can take a lot out of you. And it's very much a delicate subject for anyone going through major life challenges and trials, and still taking everything that one step at a time, one day at a time.

Life is such an emotional rollercoaster that I think on days like today when you're met with this weird "low" you just kind of bottom out and wait for the next phase. I'm back to work today with more fun planned tomorrow just trying to keep my head above water and stay positive. I'm hoping to find some much better inspiration but feel free to suggest away! Happy Monday!