Last night I was doing what I do best, watching Friends, and I realized that I grew up watching a show completely immersed in coffee culture. My dad always drank coffee, and then I came into adulthood in the Pacific Northwest, where Starbucks was for people who liked coffee flavored like hot chocolate, Dunkin Donuts had gone extinct and the craft coffee places ruled all. It's no wonder I'm a coffee snob, and if anything messes with my caffeinated state, I want to harm people.
Don't get me wrong, I'm Starbucks' target audience for the Pumpkin Spice Latte, the frappaccino on a hot day, and perfect White Chocolate Mocha any old day. I try to try their new stuff but always end up disappointed and $10 doesn't even buy you two coffees anymore. I'm lucky that in our town we have a local Costa-Rican grown coffee shop with their own beans, flavor extracts and amazing people so I spent my fortune there.
Dunkin Donuts is NOT coffee. It's coffee water. It's watered down flavor with crappy coffee. McDonalds coffee is NOT coffee. Shall I continue? Yes, I am a coffee snob. If you are a Starbucks aficionado, good for you. If you go to Dunkin Donuts for something other than Donuts, good for you. If you love a McCafe Frappe, good for you. Not for me, no thanks, with the exception of a quick Starbucks visit for PSL season.
When my horrible thyroid medicine was making me ill, it ruined my coffee to the point where I had to sugar it up and make it easier on my body. I once worked with someone who summed up my coffee order perfectly, a male who once joked, "I like my coffee like I like my men, black and on the run." While completely inappropriate and not true about the men part, I drink BLACK coffee. Just plain.
My husband likes to think I got too lazy to put stuff into it. The truth of it is this, after pregnancy and with a new baby, when I finally wanted coffee, putting all the creamer and stuff was not only a waste of calories, but would just make it cool down to fast. I could sip it slowly and savor every bit of brewed optimism I could get. The whole point became that coffee was my morning luxury and the very point of quiet and calm to wake me up and remind me I could do it. Fluffing it up with extra crap does nothing but keep you bloated and get in the way of the caffeine.
If you ever want to convey to me that I'm important, you buy me coffee. To me, this is the ultimate gift. When we go to Oregon to visit and my brother in law makes my first cup, and he makes the best coffee in all the land by the way, that's when I know I'm home.
At our local coffee spot I add their natural flavor but no cream. They make natural extracts like, Lavender Vanilla, Marshmallow, White Chocolate, Violet and seasonal ones as well. I love them. To me that's worth the money and the calories.
Coffee is also one of the few things I do not have to share with my child. She will hog and steal my juice, she will want to have my ice cream, milkshake, and even iced tea. Sometimes she gets a taste of them but giving your child coffee gives the bad mom award right to me, so I always say, "You can't have mommy's coffee," and it sounds even better because I'm right.
When I studied in London, I was made fun of for my "filthy American" coffee habit. Most of the best coffee there was found in little deli-type places and definitely not Starbucks, however, they are definitely all about the tea over there.
This morning I finally enjoyed a completely epic dark roast of fresh coffee and just realized that it's one of my few luxuries. I don't mean to say I go out every day and buy coffee, I just mean that I allow myself that coffee every day. I make sure I have good coffee, every day. Hell my Mother's Day present was a coffee grinder!
I don't get massages often enough, maybe twice I year. I don't get my nails done more than twice a year either. I don't buy fancy clothes, purses, shoes or housewares. I pack my lunch every day. We rarely go out to dinner. I am NEVER without coffee. Never. Coffee has become quite the great friend to me, and I never ever want to be without it.
So here is my ode to coffee and to our beautiful relationship. This blog does advertise diatribes so here one is, and on Wednesday of all days! Reminder that Saturday and Sunday will be post-less as I will be attempting to enjoy a true weekend away!
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