My husband and I have been wrestling with the ferocity of our six and a half year old daughter lately and one of her current things is saying, "I wish I could..." Then, of course, I say "No" in total mom fashion, and she always retorts with , "No mom, I just WISH it, I'm not asking for it to happen."
I give her props because she technically isn't asking but has conveniently crafted a way to still ask for something without asking somehow. It is both obnoxious and impressive all at once. We're in that, "Mom, mom, mom, mommy, mom, mom, mom!," phase of daily life. We're also in the arguing is a new form of breathing routine. This too shall pass.
I hate being the mom that stomps on wishes but she's at the age now where she needs a little reality. I can hear my father's words uttered out of my mouth on a regular basis to chilling degrees now. "You eat what has been prepared for, like it or not." "We don't need to waste water/electricity/resources." "Those things cost money and we don't have enough for x,y,z." Sometimes I love that she knows these will be the responses. Sometimes I wish I could be the mom that didn't care about stuff like that, but I try to raise her to understand being frugal, grateful and aware.
When she says the whole, "I just wish," stuff, I try to be more gentle with my resounding "no." She often says this about wishing she could sleep in our room or get around some rule. She's too big for that now and no one actually sleeps when this happens. She wishes for a girl dog, well, keep wishing; she already has a dog and most kids don't. She just wishes for lots of toys? Ask Santa and we'll see. She wishes for extra dessert? Keep wishing while you eat your veggies.
I definitely never want to squash her hopes. She can hope and wish as much as she wants; that's what childhood should give you, but finding that balance in disciplinary boundaries gets more intense as they get older. Getting kids to listen, that is rough too, as they also need to feel heard.
Don't get me wrong, she is hopeful, fun, happy and she cracks me up. She's the light in my life and the best thing I've ever done, but parenting has daily, if not hourly challenges from time to time. Last weekend was a rough lesson in being more rigorous in guarding her and not getting too caught in the peer pressures and wishes of others. I have to do what's best for her as her mom, no matter what anyone else thinks.
Like me, my daughter needs a lot of down time. She's an active, go-to kid and she plays hard. She needs to rest hard too. I personally wish she wasn't as sensitive to this stuff as I am, but she is my kid after all. I'll keep the wishing theme going strong here!
I think the hardest part about the wish phase right now is that, she's old enough for a little more reality but still young enough that I don't want her to lose her whimsy. Last night she asked me about kid-nappers and people coming to get her and I didn't sugar coat it. I said, "Sometimes people can do bad things, but we need to not talk to strangers and if you feel you're in danger, go find someone you know. Go tell someone and you'll be okay." I then told her that anyone who tried to hurt her I would kick in the face, which made her laugh and lightened the mood.
I wish I didn't have to bring her into the harsh light of the day at times, I wish she could stay little, innocent and trusting, but we all have to grow up at some point. Unfortunately some do so sooner than others. At the end of the day, even if it ends up in an argument, I always thank her for telling me her wishes and feelings. Even if it's a subversive way to ask for something else, I tell her I like hearing from her and love when she talks to me. I wish she would do that forever.
For now I'll let her wish as much as she can because as Disney has so ingrained in us:
And now I wish you all a happy weekend!
No comments:
Post a Comment