I've learned, the hard way I might add, that some friends are seasonal and some friends are consistent. Some friends are there to get you through a certain period, and some are just there, period. This is no one's "fault" or even necessarily a bad thing, but it's a learning experience.
As I view my life slowly crawling out of the "Pit of Despair," I realize that some friends have come to me, or stayed around me, specifically to be there to continue the support I need to rebuild. And those that don't, have walked away. And that's totally okay.
It's really hard to find people that "get" your situation, let alone those that "get" you yourself, so when you find them, hold them close. And sometimes you'll meet people you genuinely like and care for, but they just can't quite understand you. It's not their fault, but in my experience, there just comes a moment when you can't perpetuate that relationship anymore.
In the past 48 hours I've had some strangely deep and philosophical text conversations with a friend that continues to reveal just how much we have in common. We have different avenues of trauma but very much share the same outlook in life, especially when it comes to raising sassy girls, and how we spend our Sundays and free time.
We both have been through enough to recognize that while Sunday routines are all well and good, sometimes we need a break. We work or go to school full time and raise tiny people. Sure we have our partners but they work or go to school also. Life gets tiring and fast. What we don't need is judgement about having a Sunday with sleeping in, cleaning and play dates. So we've come to lean on each other in like-minded thinking and support.
This relationship has sparked joy and we take care of each other, mentally, above everything else. I love how we communicate and that we can talk about anything, without crossing any weird boundaries. It's an odd comfort to recognize the things we share.
We both agree that we just want to see more love and acceptance in the world and that we wish people could just be okay with co-existing. We both struggle with the confines of what we "should" be doing and just want to live on our own terms a little, especially after some traumatic years.
Don't get me wrong, I have wonderful friends and family in my life who get some aspects of some stuff I've been through, but not everyone can click in the ways you need. This sparked, joyful interaction also doesn't solve all my woes and heal all my wounds, but it's nice to know you have someone who can "get" you from time to time.
I can get along with any and everyone, most of the time, but it doesn't just magically make things easier. You can't talk to everyone about everything. I've been there and it doesn't work. I've said it 800 times and I will forever repeat, you have to know your audience. It just feels nice knowing that you're not alone in your ideas and ideals.
The kind of peace from being gotten allows me to reflect on the situations of unrest around me and work on being better with boundaries. Although I've been making strides, I'm definitely being tested and I just have to keep pushing forward.
It's nice to see and feel the progress, which isn't something I've really had before. I have an interesting few days ahead of me but I want to go in with all positive vibes rather than my old adage of being a grump knowing things will be annoying.
Identifying those less-than-awesome traits, is huge. Typing that sentence was huge. Finding that spark of joy in cultivating my tribe, is huge. So maybe I'm even ahead of where I thought I was. Let's keep this momentum going because for a Monday it feels pretty awesome.
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