I Invented Binge Watching

Okay so I know this looks like some Romy and Michelle, "I invented Post-Its" thing, but you'll have to bear with me.

 

So many years ago a show aired on Showtime called "Weeds." In my young college years in a tiny one bedroom apartment with my then-boyfriend, now husband, we somehow scraped together the money for full cable plus Showtime. My mom had bought us the first season and said "This show is hilarious."

We were hooked instantly and somehow all of our friends, some 7 or 8 of us would squish into our tiny one bedroom apartment, every week to watch Weeds. This may have happened two full seasons I cannot remember. One season I was studying abroad and when I came home I literally adapted back to the Pacific Northwest time zone, by binge-watching Weeds when I couldn't sleep.

Weeds is created and written by Jenji Kohan who is now most well known for the Netflix series, Orange is the New Black. Weeds now lives in infamy for perfectly embodying the phrase "Jumped the Shark," when referencing it's weirdly tumultuous detour in Season 4. Now Weeds lasted 8 Seasons but to all die hard fans, after season 4 it was like, "This can't get worse, but let's just see I guess."

I fell in love with Weeds amazing cast and the plot line and once I was invested, I was all in. When we moved around and were struggling 20 somethings trying to figure out life, we couldn't afford cable. Season after season after season went by and what would we do? Every year they released it on DVD we would buy it THAT day and then watch the ENTIRE season with great food and laziness. Hence, I invented binge-watching.

I'd like to say it started with Weeds but really I think it started when I got my first Season of Friends. It was like a contest on who could watch the most episodes. Even when Netflix started you could only "Binge-watch" whatever you had on disk pre-streaming platforms. So if Netflix sent you 2 discs of a season with 5 disks, you were still limited.

I lived to have an entire season in my hands and devour the entire thing. It was the most relaxation I could ever have and thus my invented perfection of the binge-watch began. Other binge-watching revelations could go back to America's Next Top Model or bad VH-1 reality television shows. Remember those marathon days? Yeah, I was all over that!

This all came about because with the final season of Jenji Kohan's most recent brainchild being released onto Netflix and also my recent binge watch of Glow, I realized that the term and act of "binge watch" is such a thing so much so that many Netflix series drop that term into normal conversation. It's now fully a thing.

I started to re-watch all of Orange is the New Black and often prep for a new Season release by watching all prior episodes. I am the exact target audience of all things binge-watching so I think I should get some creative credit here.

Netflix definitely does it right. Watching a series from week to week is now agonizing and makes you feel prehistoric and completely let down.

The best part, for me, about a binge watch experience is it forces me to slow down. I do not sit still and this whole "me time" thing is such a struggle for me. So then, if I know a season is coming out I can be like "Sunday after church we are doing nothing and watching Stranger Things 3 all day!" It forces me to get stuff done and out of the way to succumb to the "chill."

I'm sure many people can't do the binge watch but for me, while breastfeeding and being a stay at home mom with this kid attached to me, it was all about binge-watching. I devoured Mad Men, the last seasons of The Office, that series The Killing was it called? I watched Glee and a bunch of other stuff I'm probably forgetting. 

I'm that weirdo who likes having stuff on in the background. It's a momentary distraction or, something to offset the other annoying walks of life. Who doesn't enjoy folding laundry with Game of Thrones in the background? Well, at least the first 7 seasons now maybe. 

I have always been that girl that cannot wait to settle into a good movie with popcorn and treats or with a pizza and undivided attention on that screen. When movies were still affordable, I'd be there just waiting to engulf myself in the drama. I still need to watch all 3 uncut versions of Lord of the Rings and all 8 Harry Potter movies in one sitting. Yes. Goals.

Maybe I should write something about "The Art of The Binge Watch," because I think I'm seriously onto something here! I digress, and the moral of all this Friday fun is, binge watching is such a thing that our patience to follow a series is waning, much like our patience without technology is dissolving. So although I fully plan to keep watching Orange Is The New Black and become a binge-watching  connoisseur, I will leave you with the wise words of the great Ferris Bueller:

The Hard Truth About Weekends

The truth about weekends is...they are hard. I will never truly agree with my husband's accusation that I "overbook," but I can admit that we play hard and crash harder.

The truth is I'm currently fighting a migraine while my daughter washes off the horseback riding, pool time and play date. I'm ready for a bowl of popcorn and Netflix and early bed. 

Tomorrow I can "sleep in," which now will be defined by getting up at 5AM taking my new medicine (that post is for next week) and going back to bed immediately. Tomorrow will be cleaning and readying for a 48 family fix of my husband's sister coming to visit. Tomorrow will be play dates and last grasps at peace. 

So without messing around much, this is it for today. Thanks for putting up with me readers. More tomorrow for sure! 

Weight A Minute

Weight stuff sucks. I just text my husband a "feeling fat" reference and he told me that your body fluctuates up to 3 to 5 pounds difference a day and not to feel discouraged. My shorts are telling me something else, I feel.

I gave up "diets" forever ago and I found that everything in moderation works best. I can be super extreme about diets. When I was on Weight Watchers a decade ago, I used to eat like 4 servings of low fat soup, and save all of my calories and cheat points for liquid calories or an order like this one:

I can also just not eat. It's like a medieval challenge for me to starve. This is not the correct approach, I found. I also hate the idea of missing out on food, or fun because of dieting.

For years I worked in close proximity to what I call "Food Shamers." You were damned if you do, damned if you don't. You were highly praised for losing weight when noticed, and side comments were always made. It was not a happy environment. If you were given "free lunch" you would feel guilted into eating but then shamed for eating Pizza, Chik-Fil-A or whatever, later. It was maddening.

It was after that I realized I wanted to eat and do whatever. That also backfired. Calories suck. It is now, with many workouts, endless therapy, age and my thyroid working against me, that it's all about moderation, all the time.

So this morning I put on my shorts that I haven't worn since...October maybe? In October I was still going to spin and boot camp. I had just toned up like a boss and was gradually getting out of obsessive workout mode and into mental health matters. The shorts were a little tight. Frustrating.

I refuse to watch the Marie Kondo thing on Netflix but I get the whole "not sparking joy" thing to the point where I purged my whole closet. Any pants that made me feel fat or less than, have moved on. And also some pairs of shorts. I refuse to feel "badly" about myself in what I'm wearing.

So I talked myself down, "Okay, you haven't negatively changed your diet. You are still transitioning from Boot Camp to kickboxing which is just a whole new routine for your body to adjust to. You also just got the diagnosis that you have an underactive thyroid working against you. You don't LOOK unhealthy. You're good girl."

I text some friends for moral support. I did the mirror check at work. Then I listened to my Dax Shepard podcast and he said how important physical activity is, not for vanity, but for mental health and my self esteem perked right back up, why?

I'm in a way healthier mental space now, then I was consumed with double workouts, hating to run and feeling lack luster about routines. So what if my pants disagree. This is just affirmation of why I adore leggings more. 

I consider myself a body positive person, but also get a little worried when it comes to those heavier people that are technically and medically unhealthy. Be curvy, gorgeous women, but also be healthy. You can embrace your size but don't eat McDonald's 5 times a week. The health standards and balanced diets exist for a reason. You don't have to technically fit in, but also don't risk unnecessary health problems and shorter life span just because you want to not care about what you can eat.

By technical standards, I have never fit the "ideal weight" for my height and even at my most fit, and most skinny, I didn't fit into them, but my BMI was healthy, and had no health concerns. Sure, my thyroid is being a ridiculous challenge that has me fearing western medicine, but I work out 30 minutes a day 5 to 6 days a week, sometimes longer. I don't eat junk routinely and drink maybe one night a week or one night every few weeks, if that. I'm still curvy and not a size 0. Everyone is different.

I think we all struggle with our weight, whether or not we want to admit it, but we just need to "weight a minute." Life happens, some days you need two cupcakes, some days you don't. Food is amazing and I've never regret eating anything...anything that didn't give me food poisoning that is.

I love trying new things, desserts, and having great wine with it all. I'm willing to work for that, no questions asked. I realized very young that I cannot sit around and eat what I want. However, if I work out or participate in athletic activities I can care less about what I'm eating and just work on moderation. One cupcake, not four.

We will all have bad days, bloated and frumpy days, and days we think we're Beyonce. Just saying. 

My encouragement and pep talk is, do what works for you and makes you happy for your health level. Just "weight a minute" the next time you get a case of the "feeling yucky body moments" and think about your health. If you're doing what you can, and not pushing too many boundaries for your metabolism and such, you're doing awesome. Maybe there are other ways to improve upon? Aren't there always? 

Stay strong readers and just "weight a minute," because we all have those days when we just feel so, "bleh." But remember, you are Beyonce, always!

Rained Out Beach Plans Mean Overdue Relax Time

I booked a lot of things for this weekend. Today was supposed to be church and beach but we got a crazy thunderstorm that killed off the beach plans. Time to improvise!

This weekend brought waves of feelings of being overwhelmed. Between end of year and teacher appreciation stuff, job hurdles for my husbands, and plans having to be rearranged, things got heavy fast and all I can do is keep trying to stay positive a la "Just keep swimming."

I can only control so much, however I can also only handle so much. What a wonderful line that is. So on a Sunday afternoon, I had a moment where I wanted to diatribe it up and complain. I wanted to write about the struggle in all my exhaustion and vent it all out. But, I decided, why feed into it more?

Sundays are supposed to be a peaceful reboot time and in the midst of the chaos, here I am, still chugging along. My daughter and I are chilling, watching Netflix and embracing a lazy day after the thunderstorms. I had high hopes for a beach day but we can't always get what we want.

I even managed to only dust and do laundry as opposed to scour the house. Weekends are hard, and I don't even mean that sarcastically. Weekends are rough. You try and squeeze so much into so little time and then you realize you have to rally to watch Game of Thrones. It's quite a life.

For now I'm counting my blessings amidst the unknown and embracing as much as I can within my sanity. This week may have some heavy subject matter as I will be divulging all the things. Hang tight readers and enjoy the rest of your weekend!

New Shows, New Crafts, New Projects - No Motivation

Since I've been in the process of the un-funk, I take everyone else down with the ship, so to speak. I have this amazing habit, of when I don't know what to watch or what to do with myself, I turn on The Office or Friends. Mostly, The Office gets the pick. Comfort zones just so familiar and easy.

I've made myself watch all new, unfamiliar shows. Success. I've started podcasting. Success. I started new workout stuff, still new but success. And now I've pushed it onto my kid.

We had dinner outside this week because why the hell not? We read new books this week together because we could. And I'm forcing her to try new shows because she defaults to watching My Little Pony Friendship is Rare, like I watch The Office, over and over and over again. 

She has not been an easy sell. I've been pushing new PBS-like things from Prime. Pete the Cat was so far my only success.

My sisters are wonderful at sending me real projects to do with my child. Like lengthy, time consuming projects. One is a sewing kit. We have a half made puppy. She gets very frustrated quickly and easily on this one. Now we are working on a home-made pinata kit. Yes, my daughter has recently discovered the wonder that is a pinata. And I mentioned this to my sister and in her recent Easter care package, the pinata kit was waiting for her.

She is currently gluing fringe on the Pinata talking at me. It's pretty much the best.

My dad, my daughter and I all share the incessant need to have projects and create in times of mental stress and anxiety. Sometimes I hate that I passed it down to her but in the instance of the pinata it's amazing.

The worst part is my motivation is flailing. I really need to step it up. I make no apologies for being tired. I work full time have a kid and dog and husband. I'm a tired mama; there are not enough hours in the day.

But I am very much that person who just feels the drive to improve and push, push and improve, consistently. I will always work harder, or extra if I can get to some of my goals. 

The new shows are fun because I feel like Netflix and the like are just never-ending watch lists. How are we supposed to make a dent in that? I've found the Good Place, Glow and of course, Maniac as mentioned before. My daughter found some new Barbie Series, Give a Mouse a Cookie and Pete the Cat.

New crafts are always fun. I consider myself a ghetto crafter. For me it is always about cheap supplies and it never has to look, just right. The important thing is the creativity, in my humble opinion. 

I always have a list of new projects, how many of them actually start and are completed in reasonable amounts of time is a whole different thing. I'm not one to take on too big of things when I know they will sit unfinished because that is the stuff that bugs me. However, projects make me happy. 

So here it is, a silly Saturday filled with cleaning and craziness. There are always looming plans, play dates and dysfunctions. I have laundry to fold and people to see. While I'm feeling calm and far more peaceful than a few weeks ago, I'm very aware of the wobbly-ness. This has been mentioned before as a favorite word and I still embrace it, completely.

I've been around enough of the stress of others to know where to take a step back and where to watch new shows, start new crafts and keep finding new projects for sure. So enjoy this weekend and I'm sure I will have an entire entry devoted to that of the pinata adventure soon!

The Reasons Why I Think Netflix's Series "Maniac" Is A Gorgeous Mental Health Awareness Journey

Netflix released a show called "Maniac" which has been on my "I have to sit down and watch that" list for almost a year or whenever it first came out. I love Emma Stone and Jonah Hill, especially together.

I was probably the only person on the planet who didn't understand all the fuss about La La Land. Don't get me wrong, Emma Stone performed wonderfully, sang and danced like a champ, but the plot went from weird to worse and then was so utterly depressing I would have rather just subjected myself to the Notebook twice in a row. On top of that I found the only cute scene to be the one where they are literally dancing around their own attraction, but who doesn't want to stare at Ryan Gosling? So, I lost 2 hours of my life, whatever.

I consider Maniac as Emma Stone's personal apology to me for La La Land, as ridiculous as that may seem, it makes me feel better to think of it that way. I found the series to be a strange triumph.

I'll keep spoilers to a minimum as I encourage you to watch on your own, but it's futuristic, trippy, sometimes a little out there, gripping, dramatic and emotional.

Long story short, in a somewhat futuristic version of NYC we meet Jonah Hill's character, who is immediately shown as confused and quickly outed as mentally unstable. This is followed by meeting Emma Stone, who is definitely fragile, possibly addicted and reliving some trauma, by her own choice.

The stories wind you all over, but Emma Stone and Jonah Hill end up testing a pharmaceutical drug to "fix" your mental and emotional trauma from some new futuristic company run primarily by forms of Artificial Intelligence. It takes us inside the minds of Stone and Hill for these weird dream-like reflections of what actually happened to them in real life, or some semblance of it. Somehow, against every programming issue and all odds, Hill and Stone keep meeting in each other's dream sequence as if the universe is pushing them together.

Throughout the series they drop these beautiful little hints to say, "big pharma can't cure," that's what therapy is for. Little nuances of "therapy is good but invokes complicated emotions," and "addiction is another hurdle of these advertised cures, by the way" are peppered throughout the story, along with other weird life truths that are often glossed over in most series with comedy, instead of confronted.

I will spoil a little, this is not a love story or even romantic. It's more, bonding through shared trauma and understanding how messed up things can be. It touched my heart by the end of it, to know that you could embrace your struggles if you have the right tribe:

I think we often find ourselves in a place where we feel like we need to find a cure for our ills and for most of society, we self medicate with what we can get our hands on: alcohol, recreational drugs, coffee, soda, food, cigarettes, the gym, how we eat, the list can go on and on. 

Then we see great advertisements offering a "cure" for your anxiety, depression and so on and so forth when really we just need to face the demons. This whole facing your inner demons thing is handled quite intensely and beautifully throughout the series for almost every character with which it is associated. It's figuratively, metaphorically and plainly executed throughout the stories, now that I think about it, and it's entertaining as hell.

This was one of those shows I just couldn't stop watching in terms of, you're locked on the screen because you need to try and make sense of it all. There are so many facets within that you're like, "Is that real, or imagined?"

It was darkly funny and ironic at moments, but ultimately very dramatic and heartfelt. Starting the series came to me at a time when I needed it most. It was a wonderful distraction but also kind of a reminder that even in dark, uncertain, weird mental times, you can find commonality and friendships.

If you can't get into the dreamy, whimsical fantasy mixed with bits of reality, you may not be able to get into it, but I for one found it refreshing and comforting. I commend Jonah Hill and Emma Stone for their artistic adventure. Currently this only has one season, and they ended it in such a way that a second season isn't necessary, but I'm kind of open to it.

Happy Wednesday readers! If you need a weekend binge-watch, you're welcome!

Hal Versus Walter: You Cannot Possibly Appreciate Breaking Bad If You've Never Watched Malcolm In The Middle

Today we are going to introduce something a little different. As many of you have gathered, much of my childhood was spent as a "vidiot," a term my dad used to tease me with if I watched too much TV. There was no such thing as too much TV. I completely agree with all aspects of Jim Gaffigan's opinion on television, which you must YouTube immediately. 

I was raised to watch many different, wonderful series. The more sarcastic and witty, the more we watched. My dad and I laughed endlessly at shows like The Simpsons, Seinfeld, Friends, Mad About You, Frasier, That 70's Show and the extremely well-written, completely under-rated sitcom, Malcolm In The Middle.

Malcolm In The Middle is about a family of 4 boys in middle America, with one wunderkind in their midst, struggling to find their way in the working class. It stars Bryan Cranston, best known for his award winning performances on the now infamous AMC series, Breaking Bad.

Breaking Bad is about a high school Chemistry teacher that gets a cancer diagnosis and, genius that he is, underpaid and struggling as their family is, decides to start cooking meth to make enough money to pay for his treatment and set up his family for when he dies.

Malcolm in the Middle debuted in 2000 and ran through 2006. Breaking Bad started in 2008 running through 2013. Like all great series of the past decade, I am always late to the party. I wait for the hype to die down before I'm completely invested and am usually so involved that by the last season I'm caught up, engulfed and then immediately depressed it all ends so fast.

When Breaking Bad began, I had only known Cranston's work from Malcolm in the Middle and bit parts in movies like "Little Miss Sunshine." I always liked him, but had no idea about his talent and it's range until Breaking Bad took off. When I finally watched Breaking Bad I was just completely amazed by his portrayal of the iconic, Walter White.

With all of this said it is my belief as a writer, reviewer, television and film enthusiast and even a fan, that you cannot possibly nor truly appreciate Cranston's performance in Breaking Bad, without first watching Malcolm in the Middle. Why? Well, here we go:

Malcolm in the Middle was wonderfully written, with amazing cynical and sarcastic humor and witty remarks and retorts. What Malcolm achieves that most sitcoms lack was a complete relate-ability to normal, American working class woes and problems. As a Friends super-fan, the lifestyles of the characters were a dream world, there was nothing relate-able about maxing out credit cards at Bloomingdales for me, ever.

In Malcolm, the mother and father, Lois and Hal, own a boring, normal and crappy two bedroom house with four ill-mannered boys and they never pretend to be anything but a family doing what they have to to make ends meet. Hal is some kind of office executive type and Lois works at a local drug store. The boys attend public schoo,l even though Malcolm tests a genius levels, and they don't break the bank to give him every chance, they make him succeed where he is. The boys have jobs when they come of age and are always a part of home life routines and chores, much to audience enjoyment and laughter.

There are episodes that talk about super normal things like "Pizza night" being a luxury and fighting over the last piece of bacon. There are forgotten mom-birthdays and arguing about pets, fighting over who gets new and who gets hand-me-downs. They have mom and dad struggling to buy new appliances and repair their crappy cars. They have two queen beds in a room with 3 boys and another kid in Military School, for which they scrape by to pay for only to have him emancipate at 17, ditch out, join the working world and hate it. He comes back in later seasons to help the family during their ongoing struggles. Put all of this together with great acting, hilarious jokes and coming of age stories and it's a hit, although seriously not appreciated in it's time.

My six year old and I have been watching a lot of Malcolm, and although it slips in some swear words like "ass" and is rife with "shut up" and "stupid" being thrown around, we laugh at what those silly, bad boys do and how wonderfully the parents discipline and reprimand them when they continue to act badly. It also portrays real marriage problems, like the strain finances cause between husband and wife, and not making real time for each other, health concerns and being overwhelmed. Again, ultimate, relate-ability.

For six years I watched Bryan Cranston as this lovable, goof ball dad, Hal and that was how I knew him best. When I saw Breaking Bad, his ability to portray that dark character and develop him was of course, award-worthy and nothing short of epic.

When an actor displays that kind of range in terms of ability to evolve such a character as the great Heisenberg, it is riveting, in my humble opinion. The evolution of Walter White is binge-worthy, to say the least, but watching him morph from this character you love and feel for, this underdog you root for, to this very subtle but terrorizing force to be reckoned with over 5 seasons of Breaking Bad is just an emotional cinematic journey.

There will be no major spoilers for those of you that have never watched, but for those of us who started off with simple intrigues like the series Weeds and were invested in "good people gone bad" story lines, Breaking Bad took the cake. It blew everything else out of the water.

Not only did Breaking Bad pay homage to Malcolm in the Middle on some late night comedy show flashback thing that was all the rage upon it's finale, but it really shows that Cranston appreciated his journey on his own, even more than we appreciated watching it on TV. He has since gone on to be in many more fantastic films but for me, he will always be Hal before Walter and not the other way around.

If you have watched neither of these, Malcolm is now available on Hulu and Breaking Bad is still available on Netflix. I highly recommend watching Malcolm first but if you first knew Cranston on Breaking Bad, definitely visit him pre-Heisenberg. Anyway, if Bryan Cranston ever comes across this, I'm not so much fan-girling as just appreciating the artistic abilities and craft when it comes to the acting. Perhaps I will start writing more of these perspectives, however under-rated or unappreciated in our time.