Coloring Myself Calm And Collected

Long before adult coloring books, gel pens and artistic coloring, I was just the 14 year old with a Barbie coloring book and a box of Crayola crayons on an airplane. Someone once asked me if I wasn't a little too old to be doing such, but coloring, and especially when traveling on planes, kept me calm. To this day, coloring still keeps me calm. It doesn't matter what is happening around me. Coloring requires all my focus and attention and I can just breathe, concentrate and create.

Looking back, through times of strife and uncertainty, I used to paint canvases, make collages, make care packages or re-decorate things. I'm not so great at step by step "make it like this" crafts but anything purely imaginative or with room for alteration and mistakes artistically is very much for me. With coloring, sure you're supposed to stay in the lines, but there is still plenty of room for creativity.

When adult coloring books first became "a thing" they were expensive and so were the colored pencils or markers or gel pens to go with them. Now that they are more mainstream, we have more options. One of my oldest and best friends gave me many coloring books and my most current and favorite coloring book entitled, "Go F*ck Yourself, I'm Coloring." It is coloring swear words and phrases. It is awesome.

For what I've been going through lately, this is beyond perfection. I spent both nights this past weekend coloring in my bedroom with my pile of gel pens and a movie on in the background. Ideally, I would like to color whilst listening to amazing tunes, but I had to work with what I had available.

Coloring somehow shuts off my brain and I just get lost in the whimsy. You can pick anything you want, any picture, any color. When my office moved locations last year, I packed all my coloring supplies away and like most things in life, they got shuffled around and inadvertently left in a bin in the garage. I finally remembered this and dug them out Saturday. 

For a long time I used to color in my downtime at work but I had this nosy, over-the-shoulder lurker of a co-worker that made the swearing one impossible to indulge in and anything else so interesting to her that she had to know what I was up to. I really just wanted to color and answer the phones lady! Back off!

Now, I feel as though this will be a good at home evening activity. I've professed repeatedly just how difficult self care is for me. Coloring is one way for me to do that. It's practically therapy for me. I think I've taken pictures of most of my creations if you sift through Google photos and the bulk of them end up on my Instagram.

This past weekend I did a before, some progress, and then an after shot and it felt awesome. I actually got some cool responses from friends. The thing about coloring is, it's an insanely simplistic activity that I think just gets lost in growing up, but is totally creative and healthy. I've never felt badly after coloring, like "gee I should have started more laundry." I always feel a sense of accomplishment.

Not all people are artistic, so I get that, but the coloring therapy was a "lost art" for me, pun intended and I realized what a nice therapeutic value it had. I couldn't wait to just sit and color. I was so happy curled up and using all my gel pens. Instead of obsessing about running out, I was just so happy to create. 

My daughter loves to draw and create also. I have always encouraged her creativity for this because I think it really enhances your imagination and art is just kind of amazing. My grandma used to do watercolor painting. She used to set me up a little station near hers and we would paint together. This memory I hold closely for her.

My sisters are super creative also and we all seemed to love to detail and get inventive with things. I think that outlet is expressive and extremely healthy. Coloring gives me clarity and a good focus point for me when I'm anxious or feeling blah.

This weekend I wouldn't say that we did anything special and after my mental relapse the weekend prior I tried to be easy on myself so putting in the coloring as a priority made a pretty wonderful difference. I rested well, I felt more calm in general. My daughter thought it was cool that I was doodling, so to speak. It just made me happy.

The irony of the swearing coloring book is just that, making something pretty out of really inappropriate commentary and phrases, was just plain fun. I'm that person who thinks that getting upset about swearing, unless you are around small ears, is kind of a waste of time. Swearing is just a bunch of ridiculous words we give value to because they are so taboo. It's your first "rebellion" like when you're 7 and you say something smells like shit and you get in trouble. Swearing is a false sense of force and power, but sometimes I feels really good as some kind of anger management exercise. Who doesn't love to scream the "f word" when someone cuts them off?

So making the work "dickwad" all cool and colorful is hilarious and freeing! I definitely don't mean to offend but sorry, not sorry!

This weekend I took my mental health and my self care back. I colored myself calm and collected and felt more me again. As life stresses you out and makes you very frantic, something a simple as an hour coloring in a black and white image can be fantastic, in my personal experience. I've known men and women who color and love it. I also understand if it's not your thing. 

For me it was a good lesson and a good practice in paying attention to myself. It allowed me to relax a little and feel way better. Okay, the getting out of the house with adults helped too, I can't lie, but when I was feeling grateful for supportive interactions, the coloring kept that vibe going strong.

So my musing this Monday is that, getting colorful helped me get out of the grey muck and back into myself. Find what does that for you this week if you can and definitely report back!