Breakfast is my favorite. My husband and I used to make epic breakfasts that lasted through lunch and we would be lazy in our jammies, drink too much coffee, sometimes have mimosas and loved every minute of it. This was pre-baby of course. Usually my SOLE request for Christmas morning is breakfast quiche or just plain breakfast and mimosas.
Hubby is not a breakfast person unless breakfast happens at lunch time. He refuses to eat when he wakes up. I usually eat right after a workout but it's usually small and calorie conscious, rather than a delicious plate of pancakes and sausage. When you throw in great company and great conversations, breakfast out is healing, and this past weekend it just was.
Not only do I like trying new places but being able to be myself and talk a bit about the general goings on outside of my therapy sessions are incredibly healing. I also never get to indulge in going out to eat or not worrying about what I'm eating. I am very much a mindful eater now.
Mostly taking some time to get me out of kid mode and have a little social time to myself was essential. I forget this often because I'm forever the mom, but I need some adult interaction from time to time. I also very much need my tribe.
Some people can be more independent of their socialization but not I. I can hermit quite well but I need to know that not only do other people exist outside the confines of my home, but I need to join them and have conversations, actively listen, laugh, get real and have some shared emotions and exchanges. When I miss these things, I start to wobble.
I find I am at my best mentally and emotionally when I cultivate the company closest to me carefully. I've had so many conversations about this lately in terms of cutting "toxic people" out of lives. For me, I've noticed that my behavior is either enhanced or depleted based on the company I keep. Let me explain a bit better.
If I'm around a friend that only whines, and is only listening to me so they can speak instead of wanting to share a conversation and maybe a meal with me, I get bratty, rude, cynical and more sarcastic than usual. If I'm around a kind-hearted sympathetic supporter of me that wants to share food and life stories, I feel calm, at peace, rejuvenated and grateful.
I leave these friend dates and take a moment to take in how fortunate I am to have beings around me that care. I especially am grateful when they give me the gift of their time and consideration. These are things I don't take lightly in this day and age.
We have those moments of out reach when we hit a wall and we try to find someone to break us out of the funk and go play. More often than not people are already scheduled, already busy, or don't have the budget and where-with-all to up and drop money on an activity. These moments suck! So when I have a friend that schedules with me and plans and we jointly commit, even an hour to each other, I just wanna pop all the champagne! It's a huge deal to me!
Call it a product of being a wife to a hospitality man but I'm always so grateful when someone thinks I'm worthy of their time. It's my Sally Field "You really love me moment."
When I get to be around my friends in great circumstances and calming conversations, it makes me feel more capable to deal with other stresses and life woes. Their great company gives me the confidence to make greater strides and I hold that dear to me. I've learned how to hold onto the ones who keep me growing and keep me going and I don't want to let go.
Friendships can come and go. They can move through seasons and life phases or they can just be a "single serving" type of situation, Fight Club style. I'm paying closer attention to where I am, where I've been and whom I've shared time and conversation with as to when I'm ready for these great strides and steps in growth. It's been an interesting part of the journey but keeps me more and more grateful.
It's hard to put yourself out there. It's hard to share. So when you find a friend that can grab a breakfast with you and talk about all things in life over coffee, keep that great company close so you can just be greater in change. For me it is one more part of my self care, but we all need some socialization from time to time anyway. Make yours count!
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