The Parenting Wall

We've all had those moments. Those moments when you're just done parenting. It's time to tap out. Those times when you hit, the parenting wall.

 

The pictures above are from a favorite indie film, Run Fatboy Run, where they talk about the "runner's wall," that every marathon runner hits. Well, all of us parents hit the parenting wall too.

I hit my parenting wall on Saturday around 8PM. My daughter may actually speak more than she breathes, and car rides are grueling in every way. Between the, "Are we there yet's?," the complaints in general, asking for the snacks, arguing about the music and random fits where I have to distract her so as not to tantrum, anything over 20 minutes and she loses it.

We had a great Saturday but there was a lot of car time, and a lot of people to see. When we got home around 7:45PM from being on the go since 9AM, I was just so done. I just wanted to eat something real and rest but, alas, I still had adulting to do.

By the time I sat down to eat at 8:45PM, my powers were diminishing rather than renewing. My daughter started in about sleeping in our room instead of hers and I had lost the will to scold or argue. By 9:45PM we were tucked in and ready to go in the big bed. By 3AM I was wedged between her and the dog but was luckily too exhausted to struggle and just gave into only "okay" sleep.

I mustered my way around the wall a bit on Sunday, but then cleaned our whole house, and when my husband walked in, the wall had rebuilt to the point of no return. I WAS DONE PARENTING. I HIT THE PARENTING WALL. I tapped out. I threw a tantrum at my husband and that was it.

After many conversations with amazing people, I've realized that we hit the parenting wall repeatedly. And it's completely okay.

There are no real guide books on parenting. I mean there are, but they won't fix every situation because every kid is so different, as is every family. You can ask for advice and ask what to do, but the best thing is still going to be going with your gut and all your natural instincts. 

Kids are smart. They talk back. They make questionable choices. We're supposed to guide these little beings while still trying to figure out our own stuff. What kind of crap is that, right? It's life, though.

Today, I just offered to listen. Then I offered a solution and offered up different ways to help. I offered up what worked on me in my childhood. Yesterday, I listened, I offered support and was reminded that everything is just one day at a time, and it's okay to step back from what you feel is overwhelming.

Parenting is overwhelming...at every stage in life. If your 6 year old is sassy and talking back, or if your 13 year old is acting out and evading your parental advice, or your 20-something year old isn't pulling their weight around the house, you'll hit your parenting wall and you just have to scale it, and come back on the other side.

This is easier said than done. No one "parents right." No one has some perfect kid. We are all just doing what we can, and that's all we can do. Everything is temporary. That is a fact and also cliche.

You'll hit the wall, sometimes even daily, but you still prevail, right? It's normal. It's okay, and you're not remotely alone in the struggle. Kid and family time is such an intensive blessing, but we are also all humans who need a break too. You gotta find your balance. And remember, just because you hit the wall or want to tap out, it doesn't mean you aren't trying. You're doing better than you think you are! Carry that with you; up and over that wall if you need to! Tomorrow is another day, so until then!