Miscommunication, Frustration, Humiliation

Last night was girls night. And I needed a good night out. But it ended messily. Without over-pouring the entire scenario, I can say this, my attempts to do something nice and something that I thought was communicated to me well, fell flat, and before I knew it, it got really awkward and uncomfortable.

I'm a person who just needs to know the rules, ramifications and outline of things clearly and then I can be insanely respectful and understanding. If you don't communicate and I fall into a weird situation, things can get bad and fast.

One of my mom friends stood up for me but I had a rough time and felt attacked because, while she made a good point, I shared mislead information and I felt so horribly humiliated it all went awry. So, I wanted to suck it up and make it up to them.

My friend sweetly said it wasn't necessary, but I was so embarrassed I just wanted to cover it up. I felt like a child who asked their parents if they could have ice cream, and the parent said, "Sure, whatever," only half paying attention. Then the parents caught me eating the ice cream and sharing it at a party and were like, uh...what are you doing? Then I spilled it, broke the bowls and had to clean it up and pay for the bowls, not letting my friends know we weren't supposed to have it in the first place.

That's the best, weird analogy I can come up with to best describe the debacle. The thing is, at the end of the day I was frenzied, broken and frustrated. Today was a new day, most definitely and I refused to obsessed. I did however, enlist hubby in the discussion.

Much to my relief he was all in and understood. I just told him that, it was really hard for me. The way the whole thing went down was so strange and I just wish that the structure was clearly laid out for me. You can give me parameters, but not vague rules. Clear. Simple. Easy.

I spent most of the morning reeling and finally kicked it once we hit the beach. My daughter and I are both exhausted but beach therapy is real. I mean the fact that we live where some people vacation is such a blessing and I told my daughter, "I know you want to see the snow, but look at that gorgeous water." We had a few meltdowns by the end of the beach trip, but we came home grateful, which is what it's all about.

I struggle so much with miscommunication. It irks me to no end. Frustration is a daily visitor I feel and navigating it is rough. Humiliation is something I don't take lightly. It makes me super angry, and over-sensitive. I'm getting better at dealing with all of this, but it's such a process and last night was such a lesson in what I want, what I can handle, and how far I've come.

Weekend posts are difficult for me, but I was really feeling all of this so I wanted to share. Tomorrow I may do something smaller as it's Mother's Day and I'd love to just relax a bit, but who knows. Happy Weekend readers and thanks for sticking with me!