When Your Priorities Change

Priorities change, in my opinion, most naturally when you enter parenthood. Priorities can change, violently when you become a mom, or so was my personal experience. This is usually coined as maternal instinct. Your priorities then change when you begin adulting more. You want a house, a newer car, furniture sets. You need a stable job, you want salary, paid vacations and so on and so forth. Your priorities change.

Everyone has this happen at difference paces and stages. They shift often in life, and that is okay. Recently I acknowledged the largest shift I've felt in awhile and instead of feeling some kind of shame or resentment, it is a welcome, pretty organic shift. 

The tales of my drinking days are legendary mostly because I was that drunken girl that always made a fool out of myself. I told my best friend's girlfriend at the time that I really hated her, and then she had to redress me and she slept next to me because I was so intoxicated when I was 19. Those days are long gone, let me tell you. What does my crazy drinking night look like now? A cocktail or a glass of wine with a great meal, two drinks if I'm about to get insane. This happens maybe twice a month.

Drinking just isn't a thing in my life, in our lives, anymore. We don't keep any alcohol in the house and we never go out. And if we splurge on treats? They are dessert based. 

This shift doesn't bother me. It offered slightly stressful admissions and confrontations in the past but now, it just feels good. It doesn't register to me to want or need some kind of drink to take an edge off. Okay, maybe tea or coffee. It also doesn't feel like a necessity to have at a dinner table, it is usually about with whom I share my company. 

There are days where I might want a nice cold beer from a favorite brewery, but I never want to spend my time or money that way when we're having fun at home, or doing something else. There are bad nights where I wish I could unwind with a glass of wine, but then I could wake with a headache or hangover and ruin the next day if I don't drink enough water. It's not worth the trip to get the wine and then wrestle with the bottle. Bring on the SleepyTime tea!

Your priorities can change all over the place and often, but not all of them will feel like a positive shift. When I was in darker places mentally, my priorities did include drinking for distraction, being out to avoid being home, and spending like I had something to prove. These all have contributed to the current shift, and are other reasons why I feel such affirmation this round.

I like that my world no longer revolves around that as a social thing. I'd much prefer breakfast and an epic cup of coffee anyway. I'd rather indulge in dessert than "get drunk." Chocolate wasted is even better!

I've started to pay close attention to what I like to invest my time in, and what I don't. I am quick to embrace routines and keep up with them, but I struggle with letting go of my comfort zones.

Friend and The Office are my in the background, mentally exhausted, "comfort food," binge shows. If I don't know what to watch or how to deal, they are just on a loop. I hang in my bed a lot and ration chores more instead of taking them all on. I know I need to better prioritize my self care. It's on my list, and I'm a work in progress so, I'll get there.

Once I establish my routine, breaking it can be rough and often comes with many contingency plans. For example, I go to a spin class with a neighbor as her guest and I always have a backup plan for a workout in case something comes up and she won't be able to go with me. Having multiple options for how things play out are important to me anymore. It's a close as "go with the flow," and I can get, so I do my best!

When your priorities change it is my most humble opinion, that you are in some periods of transition. These can be good or bad transitions, in my experience, but shifts nonetheless. When I change my priorities it helps me shift my outlook, my attitude and can alleviate my anxiety. This is huge.

I've been incredibly focused on the mental health and growth of my immediate family being my, husband, daughter and even dog. And myself, yes, myself. With that comes a lot of renewed takes on outlooks, attitude adjustments and navigating my nagging anxiety.

As I've changed my priorities, moving them closer to home, my anxiety has been far more manageable and this is a huge win for me, so I keep nursing this progress gently. I've had to protect my well being more and take a step back from questionable situations, friendships and circumstances, but all for the better. 

Priority changes don't really just happen overnight. They are more so goals. If you want to go out less and save more, it's a day to day plan and determination. If your priority is making sure your child can enroll in fall sports, maybe you forego weekly coffee or coupon more. If your priority is more concentrated time with your hubby maybe you turn off your phone for awhile when you're together. It all takes energy and purpose.

However it all works for you, could be completely different than my experience but I welcome anyone to share. Life is busy and crazy but it seems to me that if your priorities match the mania, you'll fair well in the end. I can always report back, especially if my experience is the opposite!