To Socialize Or To Self Care? That Is The Question!

I'm about to embark on 10 days of 90% parenting alone and being lucky if I grab 20 minutes of conversation with my hubby daily, and then seeing him for all of 2 hours one morning this weekend. #Restaurantlife

At the end of this 10 days I realized my daughter will be at an all day camp for Girl Scouts and I am left open and having a day to myself. I mean this when I say, it never happens unless I'm somehow home, and she is at school. Truly, it is extremely rare. 

Now I am faced with this question: do I take a quiet, uninterrupted day in my own home to be productive and watch TV? OR, do I schedule time with people I've been meaning to catch up with but just haven't found the time? Do I socialize? Or do I self care? Such decisions!

This is what truly stinks about being an introverted extrovert, it's such a weird mix:

Should I recharge or should I go catch up with my tribe? Part of me says, let's see how next week goes. The other part wants to reach out to the people who have been trying to catch up with me and schedule some fun. Oh what a tangled web we weave.

I love my down time. These next 10 days will be ones that end with quiet, reading, and tea, and are calm and mentally healing I hope. With that comes the mixed in stress of knowing that by the end of all of this, I will have one exhausted husband and a very anxious six year old to care for in their reboot needs. This too shall pass. 

Sometimes after a week of feeling alone, I do thrive on being out in the world and mingling but there is a part of me that wants to curl up and do nothing. I don't ever just "do nothing," anymore. "Do nothing" was a phrase I loved and a goal I had always made for myself before motherhood and adulting came at me full swing. Now I just try and do what I can when I can, which is all I can do in fact.

That duality of the "ambivert" within me is so weird. I found this meme and it sums it up well I think:

I can rock some serious quiet, now more than ever. You don't know the true value or importance of quiet until you have a child, in my humble opinion. I can also be the most social person you've ever seen, which can be a blessing and a curse.

I hate this internal mental wrestling match within myself because it shouldn't feel like a chore to enjoy "free time." I'm just that person who feels like there is always something that should be done and keeps on going until I hit my wall and deflate like one of the balloons after the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

For today in my allergy haze, just starting on day one of the mania, I've decided to sleep on it. I do my best decision making on a good night's rest, or so I'd like to believe. Maybe I will hide from the world or maybe I will re-emerge fierce and ferocious and ready to play. Of course I will report back!