How is it that after Halloween things just snowball and then it’s a whole new year? Thanksgiving has always been a favorite American pastime of mine because it’s the one day you can eat too much, drink too much and start the merriment with no judgment. Plus there’s pie.
I’ve always liked Christmas. When I was younger we would spend Christmas with my uncles and cousins and share in a huge gift exchange where my cousins and I would all rip open our toys to instantly make a mess. My parents and I decorated the tree, my dad made a feast and sometimes my sisters would come home. I always remember it being warm in our big old house from my childhood. I always wished for snow on actual Christmas and it never happened, but there were still many amazing Christmas stories created.
We all have good Christmas stories and bad ones. The holidays are crazy times. They are filled with fun, celebration, love, tension, stress, anxiety and then some. One of my greatest Christmas stories from my childhood was when I was about 11 or 12. I had been collecting dolls from American Girls and I had Samantha. This year I asked for her clothing trunk and it was one of the most expensive things that was a part of the collection. I realized that if my parents bought it for me that the box would have the American Girl return address so I started watching the mail for boxes came.
One day one came that was the perfect size and I was so excited. I told my dad I knew that’s what it was and he said, “I don’t know. I don’t think that’s what it is.” Later as I was acting like a know-it-all about the box my dad said, “Oh yeah this is that lamp that your grandma said she was sending for the living room.” My dad reached down to the corner of the box, slit a hole, dug in with his fingers and pulled out a chord with a plug. My heart dropped. On Christmas morning he asked me to help him open that box…and there was Samantha’s trunk! It was an amazing Christmas moment.
Most of my recent Christmas memories worth keeping close to my heart involve my husband.
For as long as I remember in our relationship we’ve ended up spending every Christmas together, even before we started dating. Our first Christmas that we were dating my dad let him spend the night with us and he bought me a jewelry set with my favorite gem, a moonstone. It was earrings, a bracelet, and necklace and ring. Sadly two of those pieces of jewelry were stolen but the memory is still there.
We’ve always loved spending the holidays together. It’s like so long as we are together we are “home,” no matter where we are.
We both come from split up families and when we lived on the West Coast, splitting everything between households was too stressful. Somehow we always did it though. Whether it was his dad or my dad, my sisters or my step-mom’s, my husband and I were together through it all, even before we were married.
The holidays are tough and they always stir up emotions and memories. I feel more sentimental throughout the holiday season than most other times of the year. Sometimes I feel more Grinch-y than in the Christmas spirit but with my man by my side it usually passes.
When my parents split up my dad ended up with all the Christmas ornaments from my childhood. He gave them to me when I moved out. My husband’s ornaments are with his mother so I like to buy him at least one every year. It’s when we pull them out that the memories start flowing and the shapes and figures trigger a lot of specific experiences.
I love Christmas movies, I love the cold, the snow, the smell of the tree and I definitely feel fortunate that I’m not a Grinch at heart. People ask if we are going home for the holidays, and then they ask which place would be home. I grew up in Pennsylvania, and my uncles and cousins are all there. I met my husband in and my entire immediate family lives in Oregon but neither of us feel like we have a specific “house” or space to call home there.
Inevitably our home for each holiday is just “us.” Wherever we can be together, at dad’s, at uncle’s, sister’s, at our apartment, in a hotel room, wherever, so long as we have each other, we are home for the holidays creating more and more amazing memories and positive emotions to carry us through the years. Corny but true!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Next Big Thing 2010
For a decade now, Tampa Bay’s alternative rock station, 97X has brought an amazing array of bands together for an all day concert event. Dubbed the Next Big Thing, this year’s show lived up to its name and its reputation, presenting a stellar list of bands playing over twelve hours of live music at the 1-800-ASK-GARY Amphitheatre.
The local band winners, Set it Off and Not Tonight Josephine, kicked off the morning followed by American Bang who caught most listeners on their way in, warming them up for the long and rocking day ahead. Finger Eleven hit the main stage next with their steady and strong chords and lyrics playing crowd-pleasers like “One Thing,” “Living in a Dream,” and “Paralyzer.” This early in the day the Amphitheatre was looking a bit sparse but with the main acts much later in the day, more would arrive.
I was ready to check out the “underdogs” of the day. As an avid 97X listener I’d been hearing songs from the Sick Puppies, Chevelle, The Dirty Heads, and Cage the Elephant constantly and was ready to see them in action. There was quite the array of musicians and in turn, of fans.
My only complaint was the stage set-up. As this was my first Next Big Thing I was under the impression that it would be a Warped Tour kind of setup where they would just cut that main stage in half so music could be constantly playing. However, much like Bamboozled Road Show, there was a stage just inside the gates to the right which hosted bands like Neon Trees and A Day to Remember and the two stages were far apart.
The day also had these spontaneous acoustic performances of bands throughout the day between the main set times, held in random areas of the Amphitheatre. At first it was great because it felt like a sneak peak of the show to come but when we got later into the day and that band had already played, hearing those songs over again was like listening to 97x for 8 eight hours straight: a bit repetitive and tiring.
The Neon Trees battled some technical difficulties sounding off at first, but bounced back to impress the fans and “Prove that this stage was better than main stage,” as the lead said. They had a girl drummer who presented the crowd with some sweet beats and provided some eye candy for the guys in the crowd. Of course they played their hit “Animal,” which everyone sang along to, but also showed their individuality and signature sounds with “Love and Affection,” and “Your Surrender.”
Random vendors and 97x representatives kept the crowd wanting more music and more stuff by launching free key-chains with slingshots, shooting t-shirts and other keepsakes into the crowd throughout the day. Switchfoot hit the main stage in the middle of the day and couldn’t help but open with “Meant to Live,” covered the Beastie Boys, “Sabotage,” which was a decent tribute, and also played “The Sound,” and “Dare You to Move,” rocking the fans through them all.
Overall, by the middle of the day it felt like the Next Big Thing was a kind of a parade of the already overplayed songs on 97x paired with an opportunity to expose the actual talent of the bands, or perhaps it just proved I need to stop listening to Fisher and Boy every morning and change it up from time to time!
A Day to Remember came on loud and proud. The syncopation with the head-banging went from being kind of cool to rather obnoxious after about three song in, but the minor chords and metal-esque ballads accompanied by the strained screeches of the singer made for an energetic, entertaining and together performance.
Paper Tongues hit main stage and kicked off their set with a tuneful guitar solo and brought a wonderful energy as they danced all over that stage; even the drummer stayed standing for half the set. “Higher,” “Ride to California” and “Rich and Poor” won over the audience. Their bubbly set seemingly kept a lot of the fans afloat and refreshed their attention for the better part of the afternoon.
One of the bands I’d been waiting for, Against Me!, took the stage and played an epic set including my all time favorite song, which was quite fitting, “Sink, Florida, Sink,” and raged some “Teenage Anarchist,” and “Don’t Lose Touch.” The lead’s voice was simply amazing, and they heightened the energy levels, provoking some crowd surfing.
The Dirty Heads kept the fans relaxed and were really laid back musically and personally, but impressive live. Their funky nature really came out during “Neighborhood,” “Paint it Black,” a Rolling Stones cover, and for their hit, “Lay Me Down,” which the crowd knew verbatim.
Sick Puppies came on directly after and their girl bass player seriously dominated the stage and wowed the crowd. They just got harder and harder with every song waking up the crowd after the chill set with the Dirty Heads, during hits like “You’re Going Down,” and “Maybe,” especially.
Cage the Elephant followed the Sick Puppies as the sun went down. They played a set of newer songs going from somber to loud and fast then back down again. They had a great time on stage and the lead’s solid and melodic voice moved them from songs to song and genre to genre.
Sometimes sounding more indie than alternative their music was kind of manic expressive going from something comparable to the Shins, to a punk rock montage, to minutes of ambient noise like the Mars Volta, to something reminiscent of the Smashing Pumpkins, but rocked regardless and certainly kept your attention. With “Back Against the Wall,” “Aberdeen” and “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” they left no rest for the crowd either.
Chevelle came on before the last two and most anticipated acts of the evening as, by far, the oldest band of the bunch. They started kind of slow and then hit the crowd with “Jars.” Chevelle has always had a deep, clean, succinct and potent sound. With the sun long gone and the chilly night closing in, their energy alone warmed the crowd during songs like “Letter from a Thief” and “Sleep Apnea.” They played hits from their entire catalog and blew the audience away.
Finally we reached the point where The Black Keys would take the stage. This duo immediately blasted the crowd with a raw, grungy alternative sound that got the whole crowd standing and moving. They were one of the best bands of the day, by far. They commanded the audience’s attention and made playing like that look effortless. The lead molded his voice uniquely to fit the mood and tone of songs like “Your Touch” and “Chop and Change” perfectly. Although their progressions were bluesy they managed to possess a soul sound during songs like “Everlasting Light,” where vocals have an almost feminine sound to woo the crowd even more.
They really revived the evening in many senses. The cold and restless crowd was ready for some excitement and the Black Keys brought it. When they played “Tighten Up” the crowd went nuts and everyone was dancing. Their stage presence was lively and hypnotic. They really felt the music and that feeling radiated throughout the fans. I could have listened to them for hours!
Last, but for most of the Next Big Thing attendees, anything but least, My Chemical Romance took the stage. As soon as Gerard hit the catwalk area I was sure they really just put that there for him. To be honest and possibly annoy a few fans, I never really got into My Chemical Romance, but they put on an epic show last night so any bias I may have had shot right out the window when they opened with “Na Na Na” and the crowd lost all control. They seriously revved up the audience, taking the show to a whole new level/
They were entertaining to say the least. Gerard with his crazy red hair, tight pants and flamboyant over- the-top, punk-rock presence just grabbed the attention of the crowd and had them drooling all over each and every song. His voice carried through the amphitheatre all the way to the interstate and warmed the hearts of every teen girl. The pit must have been 100 degrees when they rocked out “Thank You for the Venom,” “Planetary Go!,” “Give ‘Em Hell Kid,” and “House of Wolves.”
The poetic lyrics, Gerard’s intense gaze and their face melting guitar riffs and drum beats shattered any doubt I’d ever had about My Chemical Romance and certainly made the long and cold day worth it for their hardcore fans. They were in high demand because of their recent new album release. They played the current hit off of that album, “Danger Days, The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys,” “Sing” and the crowd did just that. “Look Alive, Sunshine” was among some of the other ones they featured from that album but they still played the older stuff like “Teenagers.”
Of course after such an amazing performance the crowd begged them for more luring them back onstage for an encore of “Cancer” and “The Kids from Yesterday.” For Tampa Bay’s My Chemical Romance fans they got an early fix of live entertainment straight from the new album and got to revisit some classics with Gerard and company.
Their performance was intoxicating; a perfect end to a great musical day. So 97X’s Next Big Thing 2010 was a complete success but definitely leaves an amazing amount of acts to follow for NBT 2011!
The local band winners, Set it Off and Not Tonight Josephine, kicked off the morning followed by American Bang who caught most listeners on their way in, warming them up for the long and rocking day ahead. Finger Eleven hit the main stage next with their steady and strong chords and lyrics playing crowd-pleasers like “One Thing,” “Living in a Dream,” and “Paralyzer.” This early in the day the Amphitheatre was looking a bit sparse but with the main acts much later in the day, more would arrive.
I was ready to check out the “underdogs” of the day. As an avid 97X listener I’d been hearing songs from the Sick Puppies, Chevelle, The Dirty Heads, and Cage the Elephant constantly and was ready to see them in action. There was quite the array of musicians and in turn, of fans.
My only complaint was the stage set-up. As this was my first Next Big Thing I was under the impression that it would be a Warped Tour kind of setup where they would just cut that main stage in half so music could be constantly playing. However, much like Bamboozled Road Show, there was a stage just inside the gates to the right which hosted bands like Neon Trees and A Day to Remember and the two stages were far apart.
The day also had these spontaneous acoustic performances of bands throughout the day between the main set times, held in random areas of the Amphitheatre. At first it was great because it felt like a sneak peak of the show to come but when we got later into the day and that band had already played, hearing those songs over again was like listening to 97x for 8 eight hours straight: a bit repetitive and tiring.
The Neon Trees battled some technical difficulties sounding off at first, but bounced back to impress the fans and “Prove that this stage was better than main stage,” as the lead said. They had a girl drummer who presented the crowd with some sweet beats and provided some eye candy for the guys in the crowd. Of course they played their hit “Animal,” which everyone sang along to, but also showed their individuality and signature sounds with “Love and Affection,” and “Your Surrender.”
Random vendors and 97x representatives kept the crowd wanting more music and more stuff by launching free key-chains with slingshots, shooting t-shirts and other keepsakes into the crowd throughout the day. Switchfoot hit the main stage in the middle of the day and couldn’t help but open with “Meant to Live,” covered the Beastie Boys, “Sabotage,” which was a decent tribute, and also played “The Sound,” and “Dare You to Move,” rocking the fans through them all.
Overall, by the middle of the day it felt like the Next Big Thing was a kind of a parade of the already overplayed songs on 97x paired with an opportunity to expose the actual talent of the bands, or perhaps it just proved I need to stop listening to Fisher and Boy every morning and change it up from time to time!
A Day to Remember came on loud and proud. The syncopation with the head-banging went from being kind of cool to rather obnoxious after about three song in, but the minor chords and metal-esque ballads accompanied by the strained screeches of the singer made for an energetic, entertaining and together performance.
Paper Tongues hit main stage and kicked off their set with a tuneful guitar solo and brought a wonderful energy as they danced all over that stage; even the drummer stayed standing for half the set. “Higher,” “Ride to California” and “Rich and Poor” won over the audience. Their bubbly set seemingly kept a lot of the fans afloat and refreshed their attention for the better part of the afternoon.
One of the bands I’d been waiting for, Against Me!, took the stage and played an epic set including my all time favorite song, which was quite fitting, “Sink, Florida, Sink,” and raged some “Teenage Anarchist,” and “Don’t Lose Touch.” The lead’s voice was simply amazing, and they heightened the energy levels, provoking some crowd surfing.
The Dirty Heads kept the fans relaxed and were really laid back musically and personally, but impressive live. Their funky nature really came out during “Neighborhood,” “Paint it Black,” a Rolling Stones cover, and for their hit, “Lay Me Down,” which the crowd knew verbatim.
Sick Puppies came on directly after and their girl bass player seriously dominated the stage and wowed the crowd. They just got harder and harder with every song waking up the crowd after the chill set with the Dirty Heads, during hits like “You’re Going Down,” and “Maybe,” especially.
Cage the Elephant followed the Sick Puppies as the sun went down. They played a set of newer songs going from somber to loud and fast then back down again. They had a great time on stage and the lead’s solid and melodic voice moved them from songs to song and genre to genre.
Sometimes sounding more indie than alternative their music was kind of manic expressive going from something comparable to the Shins, to a punk rock montage, to minutes of ambient noise like the Mars Volta, to something reminiscent of the Smashing Pumpkins, but rocked regardless and certainly kept your attention. With “Back Against the Wall,” “Aberdeen” and “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” they left no rest for the crowd either.
Chevelle came on before the last two and most anticipated acts of the evening as, by far, the oldest band of the bunch. They started kind of slow and then hit the crowd with “Jars.” Chevelle has always had a deep, clean, succinct and potent sound. With the sun long gone and the chilly night closing in, their energy alone warmed the crowd during songs like “Letter from a Thief” and “Sleep Apnea.” They played hits from their entire catalog and blew the audience away.
Finally we reached the point where The Black Keys would take the stage. This duo immediately blasted the crowd with a raw, grungy alternative sound that got the whole crowd standing and moving. They were one of the best bands of the day, by far. They commanded the audience’s attention and made playing like that look effortless. The lead molded his voice uniquely to fit the mood and tone of songs like “Your Touch” and “Chop and Change” perfectly. Although their progressions were bluesy they managed to possess a soul sound during songs like “Everlasting Light,” where vocals have an almost feminine sound to woo the crowd even more.
They really revived the evening in many senses. The cold and restless crowd was ready for some excitement and the Black Keys brought it. When they played “Tighten Up” the crowd went nuts and everyone was dancing. Their stage presence was lively and hypnotic. They really felt the music and that feeling radiated throughout the fans. I could have listened to them for hours!
Last, but for most of the Next Big Thing attendees, anything but least, My Chemical Romance took the stage. As soon as Gerard hit the catwalk area I was sure they really just put that there for him. To be honest and possibly annoy a few fans, I never really got into My Chemical Romance, but they put on an epic show last night so any bias I may have had shot right out the window when they opened with “Na Na Na” and the crowd lost all control. They seriously revved up the audience, taking the show to a whole new level/
They were entertaining to say the least. Gerard with his crazy red hair, tight pants and flamboyant over- the-top, punk-rock presence just grabbed the attention of the crowd and had them drooling all over each and every song. His voice carried through the amphitheatre all the way to the interstate and warmed the hearts of every teen girl. The pit must have been 100 degrees when they rocked out “Thank You for the Venom,” “Planetary Go!,” “Give ‘Em Hell Kid,” and “House of Wolves.”
The poetic lyrics, Gerard’s intense gaze and their face melting guitar riffs and drum beats shattered any doubt I’d ever had about My Chemical Romance and certainly made the long and cold day worth it for their hardcore fans. They were in high demand because of their recent new album release. They played the current hit off of that album, “Danger Days, The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys,” “Sing” and the crowd did just that. “Look Alive, Sunshine” was among some of the other ones they featured from that album but they still played the older stuff like “Teenagers.”
Of course after such an amazing performance the crowd begged them for more luring them back onstage for an encore of “Cancer” and “The Kids from Yesterday.” For Tampa Bay’s My Chemical Romance fans they got an early fix of live entertainment straight from the new album and got to revisit some classics with Gerard and company.
Their performance was intoxicating; a perfect end to a great musical day. So 97X’s Next Big Thing 2010 was a complete success but definitely leaves an amazing amount of acts to follow for NBT 2011!
Friday, October 29, 2010
“Sounds like a Country Song”…Life as I go it… “Taking the Long Way Around”
With my sisters entering their forties, aunts and uncles hitting the big 5-0 mark and my slightly senior parents inching towards seventy, I’ve been wondering lately, “When did I wake up an ‘adult?’” I don’t really consider myself or my husband a grown-up per-se, and I thought getting married was the most adult thing we’ve done but as I hear stories and updates from family, friends, frenemies, foes, and acquaintances, I can’t help but ask myself, “Am I missing something?”
As a stubborn, Irish, redhead riddled with childhood circumstances that caused me to grow up with extreme caution, hyper-organization and an aptitude for a somewhat zealous life-planning scheme, I have always done things my own way. With constant evolving ideas of my future and changes in my teen years, none of my dreams or aspirations panned out quite as I thought, so far, but I definitely have lived a life with many tales to tell, and I’m only a quarter of a century old.
First I wanted to be an acrobat, which never worked out and somehow conformed into a desire to attend college at the University of Oregon. Then my teenage years brought on an obsession with becoming a lawyer and attending Pepperdine. My sisters championed a whim to attend Berkeley, and in the midst of this I was wrestling with these ideas and ideals of how men would fit into anything I wanted.
I always wanted to get married but I had major issues with picking the completely wrong guys. After my first boyfriend completely screwed me over in more ways than one, I decided I’d be cool and live the Sex and the City life and then when I wanted a baby just ask my best friend, who happened to be a cute, gay male I once had a crush on, to be a sperm donor and leave out that whole relationship sticky-ness altogether!
Somewhere between ages 16 and 19 I ended up working towards my original childhood dream of attending the University of Oregon, landed an amazing boyfriend, somehow decided I wanted to be a music writer, worked through college as a nanny for the best family on the planet, and came to the conclusion that marriage and children could wait until I was at least thirty.
Drama, drama, drama, yadda, yadda, yadda, the entrance into my twenties was filled with tears, fears coming true, and a seemingly endless line of personal and family obstacles for me to conquer. In the midst of it, I committed to a sane relationship with my, rock, my man, my current hubby, Eben. While dating we had about 9 months apart including a brief hiatus when some best friends left us all behind to grow up and be in love, and when I spent a term in London to study and do an internship.
After all that, and a whole heap of other drama, during a 2008 trip to Florida to visit family we decided that we’d commit to spending our lives together, get the hell out of Oregon and just be together after I graduated in 2009. We moved in with my “aunt” – you know one of those family members that isn’t blood related but might as well be. We started saving and in early 2009 when it seemed like everything had turned to shit, planning our escape was the light at the end of the tunnel. Eben snuck in a marriage proposal, we planned a wedding in three months, got married in front of (almost) all the people we love for one big goodbye, good luck and moving on party to ensure that everyone knew we weren’t completely insane and we drove away in a Penske truck filled with our life and treasures towing the car that had taken us through all of our memories and then into our future!
I’m one of those people who just has to believe that everything happens for a reason. Otherwise I may have suicidal tendencies. So, in the wake of losing best friends to other relationships, losing a parent to bad behaviors and bullshit, leaving our world behind to salvage the only love I had ever truly known, losing a bunch of stuff when the car was broken into at the beginning of the journey, we just had to continue to do things my own way and take life detours to get to that new horizon.
I had a great friend tell me she admired the courage it took to just pick up and go. Most people couldn’t do it. Sometimes I look back and don’t know how we did it either…
We have family members who are having first and second children, buying and remodeling houses, getting new cars, and worried about fancy medical insurance and somehow we just missed that boat. I’ll confess that I’ve had babies on the brain lately. My body has kicked into gear and I’m feeling that I’m at my prime for motherhood but we’re just not ready.
I pretend that’s what I want but I think and think about it for hours and I think I may have missed the memo. Is there something fundamentally screwed up about being okay with a simple existence in my mid-twenties?
Occasionally I get frustrated. Some people my age have new cars, higher paying jobs with full medical coverage, predictable schedules, and holiday pay or whatever. I wonder if that’s what I should be leaning towards or looking for.
Now when I think about what I want to be when I grow up I think about moving back to Oregon, getting an awesome little house in South Eugene, Eben opening up his dream restaurant, me helping with that, freelance writing for some Oregon publications and having little, stubborn, Irish, redheaded kids to call our own.
I’ve always “Taken the Long Way Around,” like that Dixie Chicks song, that I totally love. I could never do anything like anybody else. It's my way or the high way! My best friend calls Eben and I “gypsies” because we just go and do what we want. My uncles think we are crazy and irresponsible because we live in an apartment and not a “real house.” When I hear about friends our age that used to party harder than you can imagine, spend all their money on game systems, nights out at the bar, tattoos, piercings, and concerts, are now getting married and having babies it just makes me sigh.
I can’t even imagine it! Eben and I can’t even fathom taking on a dog, let along anything else! We may be on the “short bus” of getting into this adulthood thing but I just don’t see the rush. I’d rather wait and stave off a lifetime of debt then dive into it now. What's the hurry?
Eben got the best job he could get for himself in Tampa and is working with the kind of Chef he wants to become. I got a job at the same restaurant, which is giving me the kind of experience you can’t buy, the kind of experience I thought I may never get and that will come in handy no matter what happens to us. We share one car right now and save so much on the high Florida insurance prices, which has its pros and cons, but we live simply: two bedroom apartment central to everything, tucked back into a good part of Tampa but not too expensive. We don’t buy useless stuff, we can afford to go out when we want and enjoy the luxury of staying at home and unwinding just the same. We like the simplicities of life and cherish what we have worked for and earned. So when I want babies or puppies or start feeling like we missed a spot the "grown up boat" I remind myself that we don’t have it so bad.
Yeah, like the rest of America, we have a couple thousand dollars of consumer debt, but it's from moving down here. Neither of us have school loans or school debts. We make enough money to cover all the bases. We are healthy and happier than we ever thought we could be. We have an amazing group of friends, family and supporters who share wisdom and loads of love with us. We have each other, a roof over our heads, a working vehicle and an optimism that is kind of contagious.
So, am I jealous of old Joe Somebody back home trading in his old car for a family-friendly vehicle, or of high school buddy Jane Doe being pregnant and decorating the nursery with her boyfriend? With a glass of wine in my hand on a Saturday night out with friends talking about going to a theme park or concert the next day and knowing I don’t have to get up until 10am on Sunday, I can honestly confess that jealousy doesn’t really come into play. Besides, competing with old friends, foes, or anyone else is just a waste really; a fleeting thought.
We are all loved, lucky and blessed in our own ways. And, since I’ve always done it my way, enjoyed the roads ahead and the ones I’ve left behind, I’ll continue to “Take the Long Way Around!” I’ll let you know how it is when we get there…wherever we go, there we are!
Taking The Long Way Around By THE DIXIE CHICKS
My friends from high school
Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes where their parents live
But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow
I hit the highway in a pink RV with stars on the ceiling
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel
I've been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow
By taking the long way
Taking the long way around
I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to
No I, I could never follow
It's been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I'm getting' it back on the road now
But I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way aroundI'm taking the long way
Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I heard myself
It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself
But I, I could never follow
Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around
As a stubborn, Irish, redhead riddled with childhood circumstances that caused me to grow up with extreme caution, hyper-organization and an aptitude for a somewhat zealous life-planning scheme, I have always done things my own way. With constant evolving ideas of my future and changes in my teen years, none of my dreams or aspirations panned out quite as I thought, so far, but I definitely have lived a life with many tales to tell, and I’m only a quarter of a century old.
First I wanted to be an acrobat, which never worked out and somehow conformed into a desire to attend college at the University of Oregon. Then my teenage years brought on an obsession with becoming a lawyer and attending Pepperdine. My sisters championed a whim to attend Berkeley, and in the midst of this I was wrestling with these ideas and ideals of how men would fit into anything I wanted.
I always wanted to get married but I had major issues with picking the completely wrong guys. After my first boyfriend completely screwed me over in more ways than one, I decided I’d be cool and live the Sex and the City life and then when I wanted a baby just ask my best friend, who happened to be a cute, gay male I once had a crush on, to be a sperm donor and leave out that whole relationship sticky-ness altogether!
Somewhere between ages 16 and 19 I ended up working towards my original childhood dream of attending the University of Oregon, landed an amazing boyfriend, somehow decided I wanted to be a music writer, worked through college as a nanny for the best family on the planet, and came to the conclusion that marriage and children could wait until I was at least thirty.
Drama, drama, drama, yadda, yadda, yadda, the entrance into my twenties was filled with tears, fears coming true, and a seemingly endless line of personal and family obstacles for me to conquer. In the midst of it, I committed to a sane relationship with my, rock, my man, my current hubby, Eben. While dating we had about 9 months apart including a brief hiatus when some best friends left us all behind to grow up and be in love, and when I spent a term in London to study and do an internship.
After all that, and a whole heap of other drama, during a 2008 trip to Florida to visit family we decided that we’d commit to spending our lives together, get the hell out of Oregon and just be together after I graduated in 2009. We moved in with my “aunt” – you know one of those family members that isn’t blood related but might as well be. We started saving and in early 2009 when it seemed like everything had turned to shit, planning our escape was the light at the end of the tunnel. Eben snuck in a marriage proposal, we planned a wedding in three months, got married in front of (almost) all the people we love for one big goodbye, good luck and moving on party to ensure that everyone knew we weren’t completely insane and we drove away in a Penske truck filled with our life and treasures towing the car that had taken us through all of our memories and then into our future!
I’m one of those people who just has to believe that everything happens for a reason. Otherwise I may have suicidal tendencies. So, in the wake of losing best friends to other relationships, losing a parent to bad behaviors and bullshit, leaving our world behind to salvage the only love I had ever truly known, losing a bunch of stuff when the car was broken into at the beginning of the journey, we just had to continue to do things my own way and take life detours to get to that new horizon.
I had a great friend tell me she admired the courage it took to just pick up and go. Most people couldn’t do it. Sometimes I look back and don’t know how we did it either…
We have family members who are having first and second children, buying and remodeling houses, getting new cars, and worried about fancy medical insurance and somehow we just missed that boat. I’ll confess that I’ve had babies on the brain lately. My body has kicked into gear and I’m feeling that I’m at my prime for motherhood but we’re just not ready.
I pretend that’s what I want but I think and think about it for hours and I think I may have missed the memo. Is there something fundamentally screwed up about being okay with a simple existence in my mid-twenties?
Occasionally I get frustrated. Some people my age have new cars, higher paying jobs with full medical coverage, predictable schedules, and holiday pay or whatever. I wonder if that’s what I should be leaning towards or looking for.
Now when I think about what I want to be when I grow up I think about moving back to Oregon, getting an awesome little house in South Eugene, Eben opening up his dream restaurant, me helping with that, freelance writing for some Oregon publications and having little, stubborn, Irish, redheaded kids to call our own.
I’ve always “Taken the Long Way Around,” like that Dixie Chicks song, that I totally love. I could never do anything like anybody else. It's my way or the high way! My best friend calls Eben and I “gypsies” because we just go and do what we want. My uncles think we are crazy and irresponsible because we live in an apartment and not a “real house.” When I hear about friends our age that used to party harder than you can imagine, spend all their money on game systems, nights out at the bar, tattoos, piercings, and concerts, are now getting married and having babies it just makes me sigh.
I can’t even imagine it! Eben and I can’t even fathom taking on a dog, let along anything else! We may be on the “short bus” of getting into this adulthood thing but I just don’t see the rush. I’d rather wait and stave off a lifetime of debt then dive into it now. What's the hurry?
Eben got the best job he could get for himself in Tampa and is working with the kind of Chef he wants to become. I got a job at the same restaurant, which is giving me the kind of experience you can’t buy, the kind of experience I thought I may never get and that will come in handy no matter what happens to us. We share one car right now and save so much on the high Florida insurance prices, which has its pros and cons, but we live simply: two bedroom apartment central to everything, tucked back into a good part of Tampa but not too expensive. We don’t buy useless stuff, we can afford to go out when we want and enjoy the luxury of staying at home and unwinding just the same. We like the simplicities of life and cherish what we have worked for and earned. So when I want babies or puppies or start feeling like we missed a spot the "grown up boat" I remind myself that we don’t have it so bad.
Yeah, like the rest of America, we have a couple thousand dollars of consumer debt, but it's from moving down here. Neither of us have school loans or school debts. We make enough money to cover all the bases. We are healthy and happier than we ever thought we could be. We have an amazing group of friends, family and supporters who share wisdom and loads of love with us. We have each other, a roof over our heads, a working vehicle and an optimism that is kind of contagious.
So, am I jealous of old Joe Somebody back home trading in his old car for a family-friendly vehicle, or of high school buddy Jane Doe being pregnant and decorating the nursery with her boyfriend? With a glass of wine in my hand on a Saturday night out with friends talking about going to a theme park or concert the next day and knowing I don’t have to get up until 10am on Sunday, I can honestly confess that jealousy doesn’t really come into play. Besides, competing with old friends, foes, or anyone else is just a waste really; a fleeting thought.
We are all loved, lucky and blessed in our own ways. And, since I’ve always done it my way, enjoyed the roads ahead and the ones I’ve left behind, I’ll continue to “Take the Long Way Around!” I’ll let you know how it is when we get there…wherever we go, there we are!
Taking The Long Way Around By THE DIXIE CHICKS
My friends from high school
Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes where their parents live
But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow
I hit the highway in a pink RV with stars on the ceiling
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel
I've been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow
By taking the long way
Taking the long way around
I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to
No I, I could never follow
It's been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I'm getting' it back on the road now
But I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way aroundI'm taking the long way
Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I heard myself
It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself
But I, I could never follow
Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Thursday, October 28, 2010
An Evening with Styx
October 23, 2010 Styx performed at Clearwater’s Ruth Eckerd Hall to bring back the 80’s one note at a time. The stage setup was filled with impressive instruments and amps, something one crazed Styx fan just found to be so awesome that he told me they would sound even better than before.
Styx wasn’t just playing the hits; theirs was a set list that fans had been waiting for. This Styx tour was all about playing their early albums “A Grand Illusion” and “Pieces of Eight.” To introduce the fans to this whole thing, a Star-Wars like video intro played describing the formation and rise of the great band we all know as Styx.
Ruth Eckerd was full with Styx super-fans, some of whom even brought their children. Without an opening band, Styx took the stage promptly at 7:30pm and the crowd went crazy. They were all there: Tommy Shaw, James "JY" Young, Lawrence Gowan, Todd Sucherman, Ricky Phillips, and even their original bassist Chuck Panozzo came out to play on a few songs. They all looked like they walked right out of the late 70’s and it seemed their hair hasn’t changed much since the 80’s.
Tommy rocked the guitar and Lawrence had a keyboard stand that rotated so he could rock any which way he pleased. Todd played an intimidating-looking drum set like a pro and wowed his fans with each beat. JY and Ricky shredded some sweet solos and kept the hits rollin’ throughout the set and when you added in Chuck they had quite the guitar arsenal to blow the crowd away.
Although I’ll admit I didn’t know every song, it didn’t seem like most of the audience knew them verbatim either, but Styx made it possible for you to enjoy the show no matter what fan status you held. You could feel the bass in every song and the vocals and harmonies sounded as clear as they did on disc. When they played “Come Sail Away,” the entire audience was up singing, rocking and amped up for the rest of the albums.
The great thing about these two albums is that they were reminiscent of an 80’s rock opera or psychedelic trip, but was still completely unique. There were these strange, yet fun, hidden stories in each tune, and the members of Styx were just so committed to their music that it made for an epic performance.
They had video interludes of flipping each side of the album, graphics to go along with each song and even some pictures and footage from the late 70’s to keep the crowd’s attention. Between the two albums they had an intermission so fans could keep the beer flowing and so Styx could rest and do some wardrobe modifications.
The crowd was definitely ready for part two when Styx reappeared. There was one woman in a sequined, disco-ball-looking shirt that didn’t sit the entire evening. She danced and sang the entire night. Air-guitarists were everywhere!
Although the super-fan right next to me claimed that I could never understand the greatness of Styx and why this night was so cool, and also said I was too young to deserve to be there, it was a great experience to be had. Since Styx has pretty much hit 80’s icon status, it’s nice to see that they’ve earned the right to do what they want. On this tour, all they wanted was to give the fans what they’d been asking for all along. They ended up doing even more than that.
After they played both albums they rocked us with a Beatles cover of “I am the Walrus” and closed out with “Too Much Time on My Hands.” Sadly they did not rock “Mr. Roboto” but I guess a tour such as this has given them the right to choose not to play that. “The Grand Illusion” and “Pieces of Eight” are great albums and hearing them back to back, seeing them performed live with such enthusiasm for the work made Saturday night at Ruth Eckerd Hall an Awesome 80’s night!
Styx wasn’t just playing the hits; theirs was a set list that fans had been waiting for. This Styx tour was all about playing their early albums “A Grand Illusion” and “Pieces of Eight.” To introduce the fans to this whole thing, a Star-Wars like video intro played describing the formation and rise of the great band we all know as Styx.
Ruth Eckerd was full with Styx super-fans, some of whom even brought their children. Without an opening band, Styx took the stage promptly at 7:30pm and the crowd went crazy. They were all there: Tommy Shaw, James "JY" Young, Lawrence Gowan, Todd Sucherman, Ricky Phillips, and even their original bassist Chuck Panozzo came out to play on a few songs. They all looked like they walked right out of the late 70’s and it seemed their hair hasn’t changed much since the 80’s.
Tommy rocked the guitar and Lawrence had a keyboard stand that rotated so he could rock any which way he pleased. Todd played an intimidating-looking drum set like a pro and wowed his fans with each beat. JY and Ricky shredded some sweet solos and kept the hits rollin’ throughout the set and when you added in Chuck they had quite the guitar arsenal to blow the crowd away.
Although I’ll admit I didn’t know every song, it didn’t seem like most of the audience knew them verbatim either, but Styx made it possible for you to enjoy the show no matter what fan status you held. You could feel the bass in every song and the vocals and harmonies sounded as clear as they did on disc. When they played “Come Sail Away,” the entire audience was up singing, rocking and amped up for the rest of the albums.
The great thing about these two albums is that they were reminiscent of an 80’s rock opera or psychedelic trip, but was still completely unique. There were these strange, yet fun, hidden stories in each tune, and the members of Styx were just so committed to their music that it made for an epic performance.
They had video interludes of flipping each side of the album, graphics to go along with each song and even some pictures and footage from the late 70’s to keep the crowd’s attention. Between the two albums they had an intermission so fans could keep the beer flowing and so Styx could rest and do some wardrobe modifications.
The crowd was definitely ready for part two when Styx reappeared. There was one woman in a sequined, disco-ball-looking shirt that didn’t sit the entire evening. She danced and sang the entire night. Air-guitarists were everywhere!
Although the super-fan right next to me claimed that I could never understand the greatness of Styx and why this night was so cool, and also said I was too young to deserve to be there, it was a great experience to be had. Since Styx has pretty much hit 80’s icon status, it’s nice to see that they’ve earned the right to do what they want. On this tour, all they wanted was to give the fans what they’d been asking for all along. They ended up doing even more than that.
After they played both albums they rocked us with a Beatles cover of “I am the Walrus” and closed out with “Too Much Time on My Hands.” Sadly they did not rock “Mr. Roboto” but I guess a tour such as this has given them the right to choose not to play that. “The Grand Illusion” and “Pieces of Eight” are great albums and hearing them back to back, seeing them performed live with such enthusiasm for the work made Saturday night at Ruth Eckerd Hall an Awesome 80’s night!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
You say aioli , I say aioli, let’s call the whole thing off! My Life In a Restaurant
“Would you like to try that burrito, ‘wet style?’” is a completely different question than, “Would you like fries with that,” okay? Restaurants are my husband’s whole world. I feel like everyone always wants to work in a restaurant at some point because you can make good tips. I always thought I had the personality for it but never had the opportunity.
When my husband and I take leaps we take big ones. When we moved to Tampa, Florida almost immediately after my graduation from the University of Oregon School of Journalism and Communication, and literally right after our wedding we had no idea what would happen but we knew our destination was Tampa. We had family in both Tampa and St. Petersburg so we know we wouldn’t be completely alone but we certainly had an amazing adventure ahead of us.
The original plan was to get me a job that paid the bills, get him a job that paid rent and then get my man into Culinary School at the Art Institute. 2 weeks after we arrived and moved into our new place, one week after we started looking, my husband got a job at a Sushi place not too far from home. About two and a half weeks after I started looking, I got hired at a place in a hospital that sold “medical apparel,” aka scrubs. Retail was easy for me and seemed pretty cool. We were settled into reality ready to dive into the unfamiliar.
My husband’s job sucked. That place was a health code violation and he single-handedly cleaned it up and turned it around. He negotiated himself a raise and felt pretty good. The hours were kind of tough but he made it work. Then on payday he noticed not only did he not get the raise but they had paid him a dollar under what they’d originally agreed on in the first place. His worthless boss said “I pay you what you’re worth, and that’s what your worth.” Needless to say, my husband knew better and left gracefully and angrily hoping Tampa had something better to offer.
He spent three days at home making progress on little household projects and combing the listings on Craigslist setting up interviews and applying for new positions. I checked on Craigslist one afternoon and saw something that looked awesome and promising. It was a small, family-owned Mexican Grille about 10 miles away from our place that was only open 11am-9pm and was closed on Sundays. Since the bulk of my man’s experience was indeed Mexican and Latin-based, I knew he was a shoe-in, so long as any knowledge of the Spanish language was not necessary, because he barely knew anything.
He walked in, had the interview, and was hired within 48 hours. He rocked it, and it was the perfect fit for him. He really could not have found a better job. I was sitting pretty at the scrub store and freelance writing for a local alternative, trendy paper doing music reviews and getting us into free concerts.
About a month and a half into his employment at this amazing lil’ Mexican Grille, he was already on the fast track to management and an interesting opportunity came up. The front of the house was short a person and I was looking for a second job. My husband knew I could do it and that I’d always wanted a restaurant job so he threw out my name.
The owner only had one question: “Can you work with her?” We contemplated it. We discussed it..a lot! Before our wedding, before we went through all this relationship drama and getting past it all, we couldn’t have worked together for five minutes, but this time, it felt like it was doable. So we did it.
Where my husband was in his element, boy was I out of mine. The closest thing I had to restaurant experience was Burger King right near the University of Oregon campus, which has been long closed down because we failed all our health code tests. Plus, I wouldn’t exactly call that a real restaurant job. They call it fast food because of all the short cuts the employees take to get the customers out of their faces and on their way!
I dove right into the Mexican Grille and almost ended up drowning more than a few times. The first 3 months were terrible. It was so hard and my boss and I totally had a problem communicating on many levels, leaving me to consistently come out as the bad guy, or the one coming up short. I never had any problems working with my husband. For a long time, he was the only friend there I had.
Working the two jobs was treacherous. I was always tired, never had time to do anything and Sunday was the only day I ever had off. By the time Sunday rolled around I had to do laundry, get caught up on housework and I just wanted to be with my husband. We barely had the energy to leave the house.
For six months I killed myself at both the scrub store and the restaurant. I thought I would do better to put more effort into the scrub store, since my co-workers and managers actually liked me there, than to go the extra mile at the restaurant only to end up being fired from the scrub store and be left with only the restaurant to save me.
Right after the New Year, my life at the restaurant got better. I stopped letting things bother me so much and I got into a rhythm, comfortable with my position and started getting good at my job
and finding things I actually liked about it. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, really. Things got really bad at the scrub store after January and I just wanted to make it to my one year and then move onto greener pastures.
I got fired from the scrub store right before my birthday and the first visit we were making home to Oregon to see family. Getting fired ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me. As a great friend, Lonnie Stoner, once said to me, “It’s a blurse: a blessing and a curse.” I was down a steady paycheck but something had happened at the restaurant that very same week that was kismet, or some kind of sign.
The same week I got canned for being an ambitious scrub store salesgirl the front of the house manager from the Mexican Grille had put in her two week’s notice for leaving the company. Not only did this mean we were short an employee, but I actually had a chance to do well at the restaurant now because this particular manager hated me from the start and always had it out for me. The clouds had just lifted!
The day we left for vacation I threw myself at the mercy of the restaurant owner and told him, if he trained me to work a different position I would work hard and shine for him, I would do what he wanted from me 6 months ago, only even better.
He was skeptical, a little bit unsure but also a little bit stuck between a rock and a hard place. I was less of a gamble than someone completely new. I’d gotten this bad reputation with him as someone who was just there for a paycheck, liked to play more than work, and always had a list of excuses in my back pocket ready to get out of trouble.
Some of those had merit. The restaurant felt like my husband’s realm and I was just a small part of the whole thing, inconsequential really. I never felt like I actually fit in, and I always felt like I had far more weaknesses than strengths in this business. Also, after years of being a nanny I had become an expert at “turning on the happy” and was good at being silly. So, when things got crazy tense at the restaurant and I wanted to run away forever, I’d make guests and employees laugh just so I could laugh with them, which can look kind of bad if you aren’t in on the joke.
As far as the excuses thing, I’m a major explainer. If you start accusing me, I get defensive and I will always tell you exactly what happened, which if you aren’t in the mood to listen, sounds a lot like an excuse. There were a lot of miscommunications and misrepresentations of my comments, issues and personality traits too weighing against me. But, the boss man agreed and I was ready to move forward.
Six months after all of this, I’m actually happy asking over and over again if our guests would like to try that burrito “wet style.” It still bothers me when people pronounce the Grande burrito as “Grand” and when people emphasize the “a” in cilantro, but these are things I can deal with.
When I entered the world of the Mexican Grille and stepped into my husband’s hopes, dreams, and career happiness, I wanted to kick some major ass completely unaware of the notion that the restaurant might instead completely kick my ass. However, I prevailed!
The owner saw it in me. He knew I could hack it, and I do. I worked with an amazing team. It’s hard to mesh with that many people and often at times I feel like there is always someone on my “shit list” but I’d rather be annoyed with them than work without them.
It often is like that movie “Waiting” and I have almost freaked out on many people, and definitely have come unhinged letting out an attitude or shrill statement here or there. No joke, you don’t want to piss off a short red-head. I have days where I feel depressed and like I am going nowhere but then I think about how I built myself into the restaurant structure from nothing and if the owners want me there, what more is there.
I’ve never had a single argument with my husband about anything that happened at the restaurant. We never take that home with us, but we do complain about work…a lot! Sometimes it seems like that is all we can talk about, but then again, it’s a great thing we share.
I never expected to fit into the world of food service. I thought that would be my husband’s thing and I would just come into his restaurant one day to eat and feed the kids because I can’t cook, but now I feel like I want to work towards being a part of it. We have a great couple we look up to as perfect examples of how it all works. I’d like to think that when we grow up we will be like the owners of this amazing restaurant.
I’m not saying that this is an easy job. Anything but easy really, and there is always something to be done! But, I like my job. Ninety percent of the time I feel competent, happy and confident. I’ve met a lot of really great guests, made friends and really know the restaurant. I love working for the owners, and most days I think they like that I’m working for them. I like all the people I work with. The team is great. Sure, we clash, we annoy, we fight, we snap, we yell, we stomp but at the end of the day we are a team and having someone is a lot better than no one.
If you asked me 3 years ago, I could have never even remotely predicted my life, my plan, or my lack thereof would ever bring me here. My husband would definitely say the same. We have our good and bad days but we have a vested interest in this place, this life, this industry. Sure these jobs may not be a forever kind of thing, but we are learning things we will need to make it to forever, and we are forever grateful for the experiences and the people we have supporting us through it all.
My life in a restaurant is anything but ordinary, but then again neither are the items on the menu at my beloved Mexican grille. Sometimes I feel like life has left us behind when I hear about the things that other married couples and friends our age are doing, but then I remember that we left our old life behind to try something new, and something new is exactly what we found…and we even got more than we bargained for. At least when you live your life in a restaurant, you live life to the “fullest!”
When my husband and I take leaps we take big ones. When we moved to Tampa, Florida almost immediately after my graduation from the University of Oregon School of Journalism and Communication, and literally right after our wedding we had no idea what would happen but we knew our destination was Tampa. We had family in both Tampa and St. Petersburg so we know we wouldn’t be completely alone but we certainly had an amazing adventure ahead of us.
The original plan was to get me a job that paid the bills, get him a job that paid rent and then get my man into Culinary School at the Art Institute. 2 weeks after we arrived and moved into our new place, one week after we started looking, my husband got a job at a Sushi place not too far from home. About two and a half weeks after I started looking, I got hired at a place in a hospital that sold “medical apparel,” aka scrubs. Retail was easy for me and seemed pretty cool. We were settled into reality ready to dive into the unfamiliar.
My husband’s job sucked. That place was a health code violation and he single-handedly cleaned it up and turned it around. He negotiated himself a raise and felt pretty good. The hours were kind of tough but he made it work. Then on payday he noticed not only did he not get the raise but they had paid him a dollar under what they’d originally agreed on in the first place. His worthless boss said “I pay you what you’re worth, and that’s what your worth.” Needless to say, my husband knew better and left gracefully and angrily hoping Tampa had something better to offer.
He spent three days at home making progress on little household projects and combing the listings on Craigslist setting up interviews and applying for new positions. I checked on Craigslist one afternoon and saw something that looked awesome and promising. It was a small, family-owned Mexican Grille about 10 miles away from our place that was only open 11am-9pm and was closed on Sundays. Since the bulk of my man’s experience was indeed Mexican and Latin-based, I knew he was a shoe-in, so long as any knowledge of the Spanish language was not necessary, because he barely knew anything.
He walked in, had the interview, and was hired within 48 hours. He rocked it, and it was the perfect fit for him. He really could not have found a better job. I was sitting pretty at the scrub store and freelance writing for a local alternative, trendy paper doing music reviews and getting us into free concerts.
About a month and a half into his employment at this amazing lil’ Mexican Grille, he was already on the fast track to management and an interesting opportunity came up. The front of the house was short a person and I was looking for a second job. My husband knew I could do it and that I’d always wanted a restaurant job so he threw out my name.
The owner only had one question: “Can you work with her?” We contemplated it. We discussed it..a lot! Before our wedding, before we went through all this relationship drama and getting past it all, we couldn’t have worked together for five minutes, but this time, it felt like it was doable. So we did it.
Where my husband was in his element, boy was I out of mine. The closest thing I had to restaurant experience was Burger King right near the University of Oregon campus, which has been long closed down because we failed all our health code tests. Plus, I wouldn’t exactly call that a real restaurant job. They call it fast food because of all the short cuts the employees take to get the customers out of their faces and on their way!
I dove right into the Mexican Grille and almost ended up drowning more than a few times. The first 3 months were terrible. It was so hard and my boss and I totally had a problem communicating on many levels, leaving me to consistently come out as the bad guy, or the one coming up short. I never had any problems working with my husband. For a long time, he was the only friend there I had.
Working the two jobs was treacherous. I was always tired, never had time to do anything and Sunday was the only day I ever had off. By the time Sunday rolled around I had to do laundry, get caught up on housework and I just wanted to be with my husband. We barely had the energy to leave the house.
For six months I killed myself at both the scrub store and the restaurant. I thought I would do better to put more effort into the scrub store, since my co-workers and managers actually liked me there, than to go the extra mile at the restaurant only to end up being fired from the scrub store and be left with only the restaurant to save me.
Right after the New Year, my life at the restaurant got better. I stopped letting things bother me so much and I got into a rhythm, comfortable with my position and started getting good at my job
and finding things I actually liked about it. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, really. Things got really bad at the scrub store after January and I just wanted to make it to my one year and then move onto greener pastures.
I got fired from the scrub store right before my birthday and the first visit we were making home to Oregon to see family. Getting fired ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me. As a great friend, Lonnie Stoner, once said to me, “It’s a blurse: a blessing and a curse.” I was down a steady paycheck but something had happened at the restaurant that very same week that was kismet, or some kind of sign.
The same week I got canned for being an ambitious scrub store salesgirl the front of the house manager from the Mexican Grille had put in her two week’s notice for leaving the company. Not only did this mean we were short an employee, but I actually had a chance to do well at the restaurant now because this particular manager hated me from the start and always had it out for me. The clouds had just lifted!
The day we left for vacation I threw myself at the mercy of the restaurant owner and told him, if he trained me to work a different position I would work hard and shine for him, I would do what he wanted from me 6 months ago, only even better.
He was skeptical, a little bit unsure but also a little bit stuck between a rock and a hard place. I was less of a gamble than someone completely new. I’d gotten this bad reputation with him as someone who was just there for a paycheck, liked to play more than work, and always had a list of excuses in my back pocket ready to get out of trouble.
Some of those had merit. The restaurant felt like my husband’s realm and I was just a small part of the whole thing, inconsequential really. I never felt like I actually fit in, and I always felt like I had far more weaknesses than strengths in this business. Also, after years of being a nanny I had become an expert at “turning on the happy” and was good at being silly. So, when things got crazy tense at the restaurant and I wanted to run away forever, I’d make guests and employees laugh just so I could laugh with them, which can look kind of bad if you aren’t in on the joke.
As far as the excuses thing, I’m a major explainer. If you start accusing me, I get defensive and I will always tell you exactly what happened, which if you aren’t in the mood to listen, sounds a lot like an excuse. There were a lot of miscommunications and misrepresentations of my comments, issues and personality traits too weighing against me. But, the boss man agreed and I was ready to move forward.
Six months after all of this, I’m actually happy asking over and over again if our guests would like to try that burrito “wet style.” It still bothers me when people pronounce the Grande burrito as “Grand” and when people emphasize the “a” in cilantro, but these are things I can deal with.
When I entered the world of the Mexican Grille and stepped into my husband’s hopes, dreams, and career happiness, I wanted to kick some major ass completely unaware of the notion that the restaurant might instead completely kick my ass. However, I prevailed!
The owner saw it in me. He knew I could hack it, and I do. I worked with an amazing team. It’s hard to mesh with that many people and often at times I feel like there is always someone on my “shit list” but I’d rather be annoyed with them than work without them.
It often is like that movie “Waiting” and I have almost freaked out on many people, and definitely have come unhinged letting out an attitude or shrill statement here or there. No joke, you don’t want to piss off a short red-head. I have days where I feel depressed and like I am going nowhere but then I think about how I built myself into the restaurant structure from nothing and if the owners want me there, what more is there.
I’ve never had a single argument with my husband about anything that happened at the restaurant. We never take that home with us, but we do complain about work…a lot! Sometimes it seems like that is all we can talk about, but then again, it’s a great thing we share.
I never expected to fit into the world of food service. I thought that would be my husband’s thing and I would just come into his restaurant one day to eat and feed the kids because I can’t cook, but now I feel like I want to work towards being a part of it. We have a great couple we look up to as perfect examples of how it all works. I’d like to think that when we grow up we will be like the owners of this amazing restaurant.
I’m not saying that this is an easy job. Anything but easy really, and there is always something to be done! But, I like my job. Ninety percent of the time I feel competent, happy and confident. I’ve met a lot of really great guests, made friends and really know the restaurant. I love working for the owners, and most days I think they like that I’m working for them. I like all the people I work with. The team is great. Sure, we clash, we annoy, we fight, we snap, we yell, we stomp but at the end of the day we are a team and having someone is a lot better than no one.
If you asked me 3 years ago, I could have never even remotely predicted my life, my plan, or my lack thereof would ever bring me here. My husband would definitely say the same. We have our good and bad days but we have a vested interest in this place, this life, this industry. Sure these jobs may not be a forever kind of thing, but we are learning things we will need to make it to forever, and we are forever grateful for the experiences and the people we have supporting us through it all.
My life in a restaurant is anything but ordinary, but then again neither are the items on the menu at my beloved Mexican grille. Sometimes I feel like life has left us behind when I hear about the things that other married couples and friends our age are doing, but then I remember that we left our old life behind to try something new, and something new is exactly what we found…and we even got more than we bargained for. At least when you live your life in a restaurant, you live life to the “fullest!”
Monday, August 16, 2010
Catchin' TRAIN at the Tropicana Field for Rays Saturday Night Concert Series
August 14th after the Ray’s sweet victory over the Orioles, Train came rollin’ through the Trop for a Saturday Night Concert Series performance. Recently hitting it big-ger with “Hey, Soul Sister,” the 90’s pop-rock sensation drew in the biggest following I’d seen on Tropicana Field and even within the stands, so far.
Despite the Rays loss on Friday and the usual hurdles us reviewers have to jump over just to get into the show, Train was definitely worth it all. Taking the stage after a corny train sounds audio intro complete with the sounds of the steam engine and train whistle, front-man Pat Monahan commanded the attention of fans in a blue shiny tee and extremely white, tight pants. If that’s not pop music, I don’t know what is.
It almost didn’t sound like Train at first but then they belted out that signature sound that makes them popular over and over again. They opened with “Parachute” off of 2009’s “Save Me San Francisco” album. Monahan said, “Let’s fill this place with love,” as he launched into some hippie-ish, swaying dance moves then hit a crazy high note electrifying the audience through the field into the stands.
When they busted out “Meet Virginia,” complete with a rockin’ guitar solo, the show had really taken off. For “She’s On Fire” Monahan pulled out a guitar and stopped halfway into the song to announce that “Hey, Soul Sister” was now being played on the Country Music channel while he put on a cowboy hat. “Yes, it greatly confused us as well,” Monahan joked, “but it increases our chances of becoming the greatest country music band ever.” Train then played another verse of “She’s On Fire” in country fashion and style until deciding to have even more fun and bring up a group of kids about 12 and under sporting homemade shirts reading “Trainette” to sing the rest of the song with them. At the end of the whole fun, “She’s On Fire” production Monahan bowed with his Trainettes and let them rejoin the crowd.
“I Got You” was next on the set list followed by my current favorite, “If It’s Love,” which had the entirety of Tropicana Field singing along. I jumped on with Train when I “met” Virginia back in the early 90’s but their recent hits kept me even more enthralled than before. I mean who doesn’t know and love the “Hey, Soul Sister” song?
They played “Calling All Angels,” from their third album, did a cover of Rihanna’s “Umbrella,” saying they wished they wrote that one, and then did the title track from their most recent release, “Save Me San Francisco.” I could feel the audience waiting for “Hey, Soul Sister,” and one other hit, which I’ll admit I was dying to see too, “Drops of Jupiter.”
After changing into his “whites” and showing some skin by changing shirts onstage, Monahan said he wanted to marry the whole crowd and entered the packed field to do just that while singing “Marry Me.” Fans were breaking off, running around and trying to spot him and grab him at every chance they could get while his security guards were keeping him at a safe distance from the masses.
The anticipation was high when they finally played it: “Hey, Soul Sister.” It was then that the crowd went completely nuts! Everyone was singing along and it was as poppy and amazing live as it is every other time you hear it. I was almost nervous that they would leave us without it but they closed with “Drops of Jupiter” and all was right in the world again! By far my all time favorite Train song, and seemingly that of many audience members, “Drops of Jupiter” was the perfect way to end the Saturday Night Concert Series at the Trop and to leave my experience with Train. I will definitely be seeing them live again because they put on a damn good show, but if they keep writing hits, followers like the Trainettes will come running to catch Train too!
Despite the Rays loss on Friday and the usual hurdles us reviewers have to jump over just to get into the show, Train was definitely worth it all. Taking the stage after a corny train sounds audio intro complete with the sounds of the steam engine and train whistle, front-man Pat Monahan commanded the attention of fans in a blue shiny tee and extremely white, tight pants. If that’s not pop music, I don’t know what is.
It almost didn’t sound like Train at first but then they belted out that signature sound that makes them popular over and over again. They opened with “Parachute” off of 2009’s “Save Me San Francisco” album. Monahan said, “Let’s fill this place with love,” as he launched into some hippie-ish, swaying dance moves then hit a crazy high note electrifying the audience through the field into the stands.
When they busted out “Meet Virginia,” complete with a rockin’ guitar solo, the show had really taken off. For “She’s On Fire” Monahan pulled out a guitar and stopped halfway into the song to announce that “Hey, Soul Sister” was now being played on the Country Music channel while he put on a cowboy hat. “Yes, it greatly confused us as well,” Monahan joked, “but it increases our chances of becoming the greatest country music band ever.” Train then played another verse of “She’s On Fire” in country fashion and style until deciding to have even more fun and bring up a group of kids about 12 and under sporting homemade shirts reading “Trainette” to sing the rest of the song with them. At the end of the whole fun, “She’s On Fire” production Monahan bowed with his Trainettes and let them rejoin the crowd.
“I Got You” was next on the set list followed by my current favorite, “If It’s Love,” which had the entirety of Tropicana Field singing along. I jumped on with Train when I “met” Virginia back in the early 90’s but their recent hits kept me even more enthralled than before. I mean who doesn’t know and love the “Hey, Soul Sister” song?
They played “Calling All Angels,” from their third album, did a cover of Rihanna’s “Umbrella,” saying they wished they wrote that one, and then did the title track from their most recent release, “Save Me San Francisco.” I could feel the audience waiting for “Hey, Soul Sister,” and one other hit, which I’ll admit I was dying to see too, “Drops of Jupiter.”
After changing into his “whites” and showing some skin by changing shirts onstage, Monahan said he wanted to marry the whole crowd and entered the packed field to do just that while singing “Marry Me.” Fans were breaking off, running around and trying to spot him and grab him at every chance they could get while his security guards were keeping him at a safe distance from the masses.
The anticipation was high when they finally played it: “Hey, Soul Sister.” It was then that the crowd went completely nuts! Everyone was singing along and it was as poppy and amazing live as it is every other time you hear it. I was almost nervous that they would leave us without it but they closed with “Drops of Jupiter” and all was right in the world again! By far my all time favorite Train song, and seemingly that of many audience members, “Drops of Jupiter” was the perfect way to end the Saturday Night Concert Series at the Trop and to leave my experience with Train. I will definitely be seeing them live again because they put on a damn good show, but if they keep writing hits, followers like the Trainettes will come running to catch Train too!
Norah Jones Ditched Lilith Fair to Wow Fans at Tampa's Straz Center
Wednesday August 11, 2010 Norah Jones took the stage at the Straz Center in Downtown Tampa after dropping her Lilith Fair dates and deciding to go it solo. I first found Norah Jones when my aunt sent me a care package filled with new clothes, accessories and her first album, “Come Away with Me.” I instantly fell in love with that voice, her songs, and everything about her. I was confident that seeing her live would be an event to remember.
The stage was filled with instruments in a living room-esque kind of setting with decorative lamps, and a backdrop of white sheets cascading down to set the mood. The opener was Elvis Perkins, his guitar and a harmonica. He had a kind of dry Mason Jennings rumbling with Shooter Jennings sound. With his phrasing and staggered-singing his songs seemed to drone on. He had a good voice but his songs were as dry and flat as his personality revealed in between each tune. He certainly had some potential and he wasn’t terrible, but songs like “Doomsday” and “Stay Zombie, Stay,” aren’t exactly songs I could see myself singing over and over. Regardless, his performance certainly heightened the anticipation for Norah.
Norah and her “Magnificent band,” as Perkins called them, took the stage dressed in style, ready to blow us away. With her short hair, red dress, mini-vest, and sexy heels Norah’s presence on stage was hypnotic. When she sang with that Grammy-winning sultry voice it seemed effortless, like she didn’t even have to try to sound that perfect.
She opened with “What Am I to You,” played with a few beat variations and a slightly different sound from the album, but awesome still, proving her versatility and abilities to rock it live. She played some electric guitar alongside her five band-mates, with the lights flashing purple, pink, blue and green all over, making the stage a very sentimental place. After each song the lights would completely dim leaving only the lamps illuminated. The lighting effects were so interesting and really kept your attention fixed on Norah, the band and the ambiance of the evening.
For Norah, the Straz Center was perfect and personable. A fan a few seats down had mentioned she liked the smaller venues and came alive when she played in them. Norah even commented, “It’s not Lilith Fair but it’s something, we got two chicks on stage, so…”
The band was indeed magnificent, charismatic and seemed to have a great time together on stage, connecting with one another with each and every beat. They played songs from Norah’s entire catalog. “Light as a Feather,” “It’s Gonna Be” and “Chasing Pirates,” were from her latest, “The Fall,” which is definitely a progression from her previous album, “Not Too Late.”
She then took us back to some of her earlier songs like “Broken,” during which she got one line in and stopped dead saying, “I totally forgot the words! I think I have a ‘broken’ brain. I’m sorry, but it’s been awhile since we’ve done this one.” She then asked her band-mate, Sasha, to mouth the lyrics to her the whole song and proceeded to even argue a bit about what line came when.
Norah finally said, “Okay, I’ve got it and if I don’t I’ll fake it and you’ll never know!” The crowd was laughing right along with her, totally amused by the entire exchange. Seeing the real, uninhibited Norah come out to play just made the evening even better.
They covered Johnny Cash, “Cry, Cry, Cry,” and did Mr. Cash proud. She played a personal favorite of my own, “Lonestar,” she rocked the piano for “Back to Manhattan,” and then played “Sinkin’ Soon,” which was incredible live; the bass and drum beats were so vivid and pronounced.
The band left Norah onstage and she looked out to the audience and said, “We’re alone…” It was then she played a song about her dog, “Man of the Hour,” which is probably one of the most lyrically amusing songs she has written. The beauty of Norah Jones, besides her obvious physical adorableness, is that she grows with each album. “Come Away With Me,” was simple, succinct and left a lasting impression on us all. “Feels Like Home,” was a progression in beats, lyrics and the use of her voice, where as “Not Too Late,” had her venturing into a few more bluesy, folksy and classic-sounding numbers which broadened her audience even more. Her latest, “The Fall” is definitely the closest to “Pop” she’s ever gotten but she still has that signature Norah Jones sound complete with songs that stay stuck in the heads of her fans.
“Don’t Know Why,” and the title track of her first album, “Come Away With Me,” finished the evening. The crowd cheered her back onto the stage after an amazing classic microphone was set up. Her band came out with a stand up bass, steel guitar and a banjo, crowded around the mic, like a scene out of “O’ Brother Where Art Though,” to kick it old school and indulge the fans with their encore of “Sunrise” and “Creepin’ In.”
Seeing Norah live was definitely everything I’d expected and then some. From a CD sent in a care-package to a Grammy-winning Goddess onstage in front of me at the Straz Center, Norah had come a long way, earned her keep and continued to play remarkable music, growing and morphing into a greater musician album by album and concert by concert. An event to remember to say the least, Norah Jones was a knock-out hit Wednesday at the Straz Center.
The stage was filled with instruments in a living room-esque kind of setting with decorative lamps, and a backdrop of white sheets cascading down to set the mood. The opener was Elvis Perkins, his guitar and a harmonica. He had a kind of dry Mason Jennings rumbling with Shooter Jennings sound. With his phrasing and staggered-singing his songs seemed to drone on. He had a good voice but his songs were as dry and flat as his personality revealed in between each tune. He certainly had some potential and he wasn’t terrible, but songs like “Doomsday” and “Stay Zombie, Stay,” aren’t exactly songs I could see myself singing over and over. Regardless, his performance certainly heightened the anticipation for Norah.
Norah and her “Magnificent band,” as Perkins called them, took the stage dressed in style, ready to blow us away. With her short hair, red dress, mini-vest, and sexy heels Norah’s presence on stage was hypnotic. When she sang with that Grammy-winning sultry voice it seemed effortless, like she didn’t even have to try to sound that perfect.
She opened with “What Am I to You,” played with a few beat variations and a slightly different sound from the album, but awesome still, proving her versatility and abilities to rock it live. She played some electric guitar alongside her five band-mates, with the lights flashing purple, pink, blue and green all over, making the stage a very sentimental place. After each song the lights would completely dim leaving only the lamps illuminated. The lighting effects were so interesting and really kept your attention fixed on Norah, the band and the ambiance of the evening.
For Norah, the Straz Center was perfect and personable. A fan a few seats down had mentioned she liked the smaller venues and came alive when she played in them. Norah even commented, “It’s not Lilith Fair but it’s something, we got two chicks on stage, so…”
The band was indeed magnificent, charismatic and seemed to have a great time together on stage, connecting with one another with each and every beat. They played songs from Norah’s entire catalog. “Light as a Feather,” “It’s Gonna Be” and “Chasing Pirates,” were from her latest, “The Fall,” which is definitely a progression from her previous album, “Not Too Late.”
She then took us back to some of her earlier songs like “Broken,” during which she got one line in and stopped dead saying, “I totally forgot the words! I think I have a ‘broken’ brain. I’m sorry, but it’s been awhile since we’ve done this one.” She then asked her band-mate, Sasha, to mouth the lyrics to her the whole song and proceeded to even argue a bit about what line came when.
Norah finally said, “Okay, I’ve got it and if I don’t I’ll fake it and you’ll never know!” The crowd was laughing right along with her, totally amused by the entire exchange. Seeing the real, uninhibited Norah come out to play just made the evening even better.
They covered Johnny Cash, “Cry, Cry, Cry,” and did Mr. Cash proud. She played a personal favorite of my own, “Lonestar,” she rocked the piano for “Back to Manhattan,” and then played “Sinkin’ Soon,” which was incredible live; the bass and drum beats were so vivid and pronounced.
The band left Norah onstage and she looked out to the audience and said, “We’re alone…” It was then she played a song about her dog, “Man of the Hour,” which is probably one of the most lyrically amusing songs she has written. The beauty of Norah Jones, besides her obvious physical adorableness, is that she grows with each album. “Come Away With Me,” was simple, succinct and left a lasting impression on us all. “Feels Like Home,” was a progression in beats, lyrics and the use of her voice, where as “Not Too Late,” had her venturing into a few more bluesy, folksy and classic-sounding numbers which broadened her audience even more. Her latest, “The Fall” is definitely the closest to “Pop” she’s ever gotten but she still has that signature Norah Jones sound complete with songs that stay stuck in the heads of her fans.
“Don’t Know Why,” and the title track of her first album, “Come Away With Me,” finished the evening. The crowd cheered her back onto the stage after an amazing classic microphone was set up. Her band came out with a stand up bass, steel guitar and a banjo, crowded around the mic, like a scene out of “O’ Brother Where Art Though,” to kick it old school and indulge the fans with their encore of “Sunrise” and “Creepin’ In.”
Seeing Norah live was definitely everything I’d expected and then some. From a CD sent in a care-package to a Grammy-winning Goddess onstage in front of me at the Straz Center, Norah had come a long way, earned her keep and continued to play remarkable music, growing and morphing into a greater musician album by album and concert by concert. An event to remember to say the least, Norah Jones was a knock-out hit Wednesday at the Straz Center.
Cyndi Lauper Returns to Ruth Eckerd Hall to play the Blues
The 80’s-Pop Princess and icon, Cyndi Lauper came back to Clearwater’s Ruth Eckerd Hall after two years with a new sound, new hit album and new hair to boot! Wednesday August 4, 2010 the hall was packed with Lauper fans, some decked out in outfits to rival Lauper’s flamboyant fashion sense.
David Rhodes opened with just his guitar and laptop. He was rocking out some electric blues with his strong wailing voice. It was kind of a rougher version of David Gray. Although he wasn’t talentless, he was anything but a crowd pleaser. I could hear complaints and grumbles during his harsh guitar strums. I could see some of the older fans cringing and holding their ears. I could appreciate what he was trying to do, but with all of his efforts he still fell flat.
Lauper’s stage set-up was simple and clean. No huge backdrops, LCD screens, crazy props or an army of instruments for this performance. She had a guitarist, bass player, drummer, keyboard/synthesizer player and an organist. Cyndi Lauper took the stage with bright red hair, somewhat reminiscent of Sideshow Bob of the Simpsons, but still a rocking style choice. She wore a translucent, black jacket-dress with a 50’s cut blue, leopard bathing-suit looking undergarment.
Lauper immediately thanked her fans for the success of her “Memphis Blues” album and said she would be playing the blues for us. “Just Your Fool,” was her opener. She looked good, danced around that stage like she was 20 again, and was very passionate about singing her blues. She was amped up and had a great energy. The soft, blue and green lighting complemented the tunes and atmosphere quite well.
I was surprised at how well Lauper could rock the blues. If possible those pipes of hers are even better than they were 20 years ago. For such low key music, she was still able to keep it upbeat. She said herself, “The best thing about the Blues is its uplifting.” She claimed that she’d been dreaming about making a blues album for years but had to earn it but, “Now I can do whatever the hell I want!” At Ruth Eckerd that night she most certainly proved that.
Every once in awhile she would meander into these awkward ramblings, telling strange tales and stories, only a few of which were even slightly related to the song she had sung or was about to sing. They somehow made her more endearing though.
She played on the lap guitar for a few songs, a huge crowd pleaser. After an hour or so of an intense blues session where she played nearly the entirety of her album including, “Early in the Morning,” “Shattered Dreams,” “Down Don’t Bother Me,” and “Crossroads,” she closed the blues set, said goodnight and left the stage.
She was beckoned back because she hadn’t played her classics and 80’s hits yet. I was surprised that she didn’t throw them into the Blues set here and there but I knew she couldn’t truly end the evening without playing “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!” She came back out on stage, kicked off her shoes and the Encore with “Change of Heart,” and then grooved into a swingy version of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” followed by “Time After Time,” during which she played the lap guitar again.
She brought David Rhodes accompanied Lauper and her band to bust out a slower and bluesy version of “She-Bop,” then concluded with Memphis Slim’s, “Mother Earth,” bowed with her band and said another goodnight to her fans. I knew a second Encore was on the horizon and after a few minutes and many screams, hoots and hollers, she came back to end the night with “True Colors,” throwing in a “Power to the People” chant within her grand finale.
It was a great evening. She shocked me with her love of the blues but she rocked it. Where at some points she was a little too preachy and stumbling with words, she made up for it with her music selections, positivity and amazing energy. Watching her in action was quite the experience, and she has a very passionate fan-base. Everyone left uplifted by a night of Blues, and 80’s classics with Cyndi Lauper.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Dave Matthews Band and Gov’t Mule Rock the 1-800-Ask-Gary Amphitheatre
Wednesday July 28, 2010 the recently renamed 1-800-Ask-Gary Amphitheatre hosted Dave Matthews Band with Gov’t Mule opening. At 7:00pm the Amphitheatre was looking pretty sparse, even in the General Admission pit area where fans were pushing each other to get closest to the sage and to the first glimpse of Dave.
Dave accompanied Gov’t Mule as they took the stage to give them a proper introduction to kick off the music of the evening. Some of their songs sounded as though they were channeling Neil Young with that country-Americana twang. Their amazing melodies, strong guitar riffs and fluid transitions drew in the fans, keeping people steadily trickling in during their set.
Gov’t Mule was one of those bands that everyone kind of knows, or at least should know in some way, but may not be able to name a single song they’ve ever played or heard. They definitely warmed up the crowd for DMB, leaving them with quite the act to follow and ended with a rocking jam-session complete with a sweet saxophone solo, establishing the laid-back vibe of the concert.
By about 8pm people were pouring in and what first looked sparse was now packed. The beer was flowing and we watched as the General Admission Pit, an area that I’d heard an avid DMB fan claim was a necessity for their shows, was too full for most of the fans to move, let alone dance.
The Dave Matthews Band took the stage around 8:30 and the 1-800-Ask-Gary Amphitheatre
audience gave a roaring welcome to them all. Dave immediately sang with such intensity in his voice and I knew we were all in for an evening to remember. The sunset amidst the sky after the thunderstorms just made the ambiance all the more romantic, complementing the wonderful Dave Matthews Band style and music. Watching them in action, Dave especially, was more exhilarating and entertaining than I’d even imagined.
The lights and added video screens made the stage a very groovy place. It was evident that Dave was feeling every note he played from head to toe: his closed eyes to hit the right notes, his foot keeping time to each strum. His talent radiated off the stage, just adding more positivity to the vibe and the crowd was feeding off of it.
Dave Matthews Band quickly commanded the attention of the audience showing they were quite the musical force to be reckoned with. This was one of those shows where taking notes was unnecessary; you had to dance with the crowd, sing along, and take it all in!
There were very few fans found sitting. It was hard to be still when DMB busted out songs like “Big Eyed Fish” and “Warehouse.” They kept it pretty up-beat considering a great deal of their hits were a bit softer. It was the kind of show that made you nostalgic, taking you back to the first time you heard, “Crash into Me.”
Those soulful, sensual notes that Dave hit soothed the soul and could make his harshest critics fall head over heels for him. I’ll admit that I had a big love-hate relationship with Dave Matthews Band for a long time. When I was younger I thought they were overrated and I couldn’t stand that “I Did It” song. But, then I gave them a chance and I fell for them. They have a unique sound that’s so easy to listen to, you can’t even complain about them really. My husband admitted he couldn’t name one single DMB song but he knew he’d heard most of them. I caught him rocking out and singing to a few.
The chemistry among the band was impressive. I’ve seen groups who have played together for much longer, play less in sync with one another. No one missed a beat and every single player was able to shine. They finished each others’ “phrases.” When the horns came in it was distinct and just added to the musical quality. Watching the violin player and Dave have little string-battles was hilarious, and made some musical marvels. The guitar players were strong and really gave depth to the songs and Dave’s finger-picking and rocking out on that guitar was hypnotic.
I have to give DMB credit where credit is due, they rocked it! It was a mind-blowing performance and watching it all happen on stage was like being taken to an entirely different level. Even the slower tempo songs revved up the crowd. The passion of the musicians was evident all around, from the smooth, rhythmic changes to the lyrical storytelling and dynamic sounds coming from the wide array of instruments rocking on that stage.
I’d heard a few Dave fans say that they’d heard them play better sets. I’ll admit I was a little disappointed he didn’t play anything from “Everyday,” and only played one song from “Busted Stuff,” but in turn he played a lot from “Under the Table and Dreaming.” They even played a brand new song, one in which Dave claimed “We’d never played that before so we’re just glad we got through it.”Dave Matthews Band left their fans electrified, excited and all danced out. For a
Wednesday night, what more could you really ask for. They are great performers, to say the least, and for my first DMB show, it just left me wanting more. Although they didn’t play all my favorite songs, the night was nothing short of awesome, and it seemed like Dave Matthews Band had just as much fun as his audience did.
Dave accompanied Gov’t Mule as they took the stage to give them a proper introduction to kick off the music of the evening. Some of their songs sounded as though they were channeling Neil Young with that country-Americana twang. Their amazing melodies, strong guitar riffs and fluid transitions drew in the fans, keeping people steadily trickling in during their set.
Gov’t Mule was one of those bands that everyone kind of knows, or at least should know in some way, but may not be able to name a single song they’ve ever played or heard. They definitely warmed up the crowd for DMB, leaving them with quite the act to follow and ended with a rocking jam-session complete with a sweet saxophone solo, establishing the laid-back vibe of the concert.
By about 8pm people were pouring in and what first looked sparse was now packed. The beer was flowing and we watched as the General Admission Pit, an area that I’d heard an avid DMB fan claim was a necessity for their shows, was too full for most of the fans to move, let alone dance.
The Dave Matthews Band took the stage around 8:30 and the 1-800-Ask-Gary Amphitheatre
audience gave a roaring welcome to them all. Dave immediately sang with such intensity in his voice and I knew we were all in for an evening to remember. The sunset amidst the sky after the thunderstorms just made the ambiance all the more romantic, complementing the wonderful Dave Matthews Band style and music. Watching them in action, Dave especially, was more exhilarating and entertaining than I’d even imagined.
The lights and added video screens made the stage a very groovy place. It was evident that Dave was feeling every note he played from head to toe: his closed eyes to hit the right notes, his foot keeping time to each strum. His talent radiated off the stage, just adding more positivity to the vibe and the crowd was feeding off of it.
Dave Matthews Band quickly commanded the attention of the audience showing they were quite the musical force to be reckoned with. This was one of those shows where taking notes was unnecessary; you had to dance with the crowd, sing along, and take it all in!
There were very few fans found sitting. It was hard to be still when DMB busted out songs like “Big Eyed Fish” and “Warehouse.” They kept it pretty up-beat considering a great deal of their hits were a bit softer. It was the kind of show that made you nostalgic, taking you back to the first time you heard, “Crash into Me.”
Those soulful, sensual notes that Dave hit soothed the soul and could make his harshest critics fall head over heels for him. I’ll admit that I had a big love-hate relationship with Dave Matthews Band for a long time. When I was younger I thought they were overrated and I couldn’t stand that “I Did It” song. But, then I gave them a chance and I fell for them. They have a unique sound that’s so easy to listen to, you can’t even complain about them really. My husband admitted he couldn’t name one single DMB song but he knew he’d heard most of them. I caught him rocking out and singing to a few.
The chemistry among the band was impressive. I’ve seen groups who have played together for much longer, play less in sync with one another. No one missed a beat and every single player was able to shine. They finished each others’ “phrases.” When the horns came in it was distinct and just added to the musical quality. Watching the violin player and Dave have little string-battles was hilarious, and made some musical marvels. The guitar players were strong and really gave depth to the songs and Dave’s finger-picking and rocking out on that guitar was hypnotic.
I have to give DMB credit where credit is due, they rocked it! It was a mind-blowing performance and watching it all happen on stage was like being taken to an entirely different level. Even the slower tempo songs revved up the crowd. The passion of the musicians was evident all around, from the smooth, rhythmic changes to the lyrical storytelling and dynamic sounds coming from the wide array of instruments rocking on that stage.
I’d heard a few Dave fans say that they’d heard them play better sets. I’ll admit I was a little disappointed he didn’t play anything from “Everyday,” and only played one song from “Busted Stuff,” but in turn he played a lot from “Under the Table and Dreaming.” They even played a brand new song, one in which Dave claimed “We’d never played that before so we’re just glad we got through it.”Dave Matthews Band left their fans electrified, excited and all danced out. For a
Wednesday night, what more could you really ask for. They are great performers, to say the least, and for my first DMB show, it just left me wanting more. Although they didn’t play all my favorite songs, the night was nothing short of awesome, and it seemed like Dave Matthews Band had just as much fun as his audience did.
An Evening with Weird Al Yankovic at the Mahaffey Theater
Parody-master and satirical singer, Weird Al Yankovic, stopped in St. Petersburg on Sunday, July 25th to oblige his many fans with a fun-filled tour. Al’s been around for almost thirty years bringing Polka, musical parodies, strange stories, hilarious antics, and his wonderful Weirdness to audiences all over. With his curly mane of hair longer than ever, and a newly released Fall ‘09 album, Al was ready to rock, and that he did!
My husband is a big Al Fan. He loved ALTV, UHF and had seen him twice live prior at state fairs. I memorized his album “Bad Hair Day” by the time I was 11 but had never had the opportunity to watch him in action until last night. We arrived at the Mahaffey excited to see another new venue, especially in St. Petersburg. We were surrounded by Al fans of all ages.
This was the most diverse audience I’ve ever seen. There were people that must have been at least 65 alongside children as young as 4. Kids and their parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters all knew the words and were laughing along with his every move.
Al had a huge screen that was split into thirds with amazing video intros for the show and for certain songs. He had montages, clips from ALTV, video clips from shows where he’d guest starred or been mentioned, and random little skits here and there to keep the audience enthralled throughout the evening.
The Theme from ALTV kicked off the show, then Weird Al took the stage and with accordion in hand he busted out one of his infamous polka montages with parodies of “Poker Face,” “Womanizer,” “Right Round,” “I Kissed a Girl,” “Fireflies” “Blame It,” “Break Your Heart,” and “Tik Tok,” to really get the crowd going. I was surprised to see it was not a full house but the energy of the crowd was contagious. As soon as Al started playing around, we were all hypnotized by his comedic stage presence.
He had amazing costume changes, sported the quintessential Al crazy shirts with strange patterns and flamboyant colors, and even had his band put on costumes to complement him from time to time. After the opener he played, “You Make Me,” complete with some psychotic, arm-flailing dance moves causing my husband to chuckle and say, “He’s Al-tastic!”
I was laughing the entire night with the rest of the audience, a rare occurrence at most concerts, in my experience. Any songs he didn’t play during the official set were almost all acknowledged in his video interludes. He played selections from his entire catalog, which made it possible for every single fan to enjoy the show to the fullest.
“Good Old Days” came on, then “Smells like Nirvana” was played with cheerleaders to back up Al after he’d dressed grunge-like with a blonde wig to personify Kurt Cobain. “Skipper Dan,” then an amazing parody of James Blunt called, “You’re Pitiful” followed. For the mocking of “You’re Beautiful,” Al shed layers from under the blue raincoat, ending up with a sequined shirt, then a shirt that read “Atlantic Records Still Sucks,” then a “Spongebob” tee. Al then shed his pants to reveal a pink tutu and heart-patterned boxers to complete the outfit, and proving his devotion to his craft.
Amidst the video clips we saw ALTV faux interviews with Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Robert Plant, Jessica Simpson, Avril Lavigne, and Celine Dion, When I looked up the band was sporting Devo outfits to rock “Dare to be Stupid,” followed by the recent hit, “CNR.” To keep the mix going he played bit from the UHF soundtrack, “Let Me Be Your Hog,” continuing the rocking with, “Canadian Idiot.”
“Wanna Be Ur Lovr,” constituted a change into a full-on red, zebra suit. “Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies,” “Whatever You Like,” a Gilligan’s Island Parody, “Ebay,” “Bedrock Anthem,” “Another One Rides The Bus,” “Ode to a Superhero,” and the classic, “Gump” pushed the audience into the second hour of the epic set, and they were ready for more.
Complete with a red leather jacket and attempts at Jackson-like dance moves, “Eat It,” was performed, followed by “Craigslist.” Finally he played the one I’d been waiting for that I still knew all the words to, “Amish Paradise.” Just after, complete with a hoodie fashioned with the song title on the front, and riding on a Segway, Al rapped some “White and Nerdy.”
For the big finale he’d been made up and conformed into being “Fat,” “You know it!” During the song he’d jump on the stage and his audience members would pop out of their seats in unison as if to be affected by his largeness. He ended the evening with a standing ovation and smiles etched into the faces of his fans.
Persuaded back to do an encore, Al, his band-mates, with whom I suspect was his road crew, came out in Jedi, StormTrooper, Imperial Guard, and even Darth Vader costumes ready for “The Saga Begins.” To round out the Star Wars tribute, they finished with “Yoda,” which included an interlude of almost completely indecipherable chants, sounds, and chatter by Al and the band making quite the spectacle. They were in perfect unison during this crazy exchange to finish out the night.
It was “Al-tastic” indeed! The night was amazingly hilarious, and one that will never be forgotten. Whether it was your first Weird Al experience or your 50th the Mahaffey theater show definitely left fans feeling weirder than ever before!
My husband is a big Al Fan. He loved ALTV, UHF and had seen him twice live prior at state fairs. I memorized his album “Bad Hair Day” by the time I was 11 but had never had the opportunity to watch him in action until last night. We arrived at the Mahaffey excited to see another new venue, especially in St. Petersburg. We were surrounded by Al fans of all ages.
This was the most diverse audience I’ve ever seen. There were people that must have been at least 65 alongside children as young as 4. Kids and their parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters all knew the words and were laughing along with his every move.
Al had a huge screen that was split into thirds with amazing video intros for the show and for certain songs. He had montages, clips from ALTV, video clips from shows where he’d guest starred or been mentioned, and random little skits here and there to keep the audience enthralled throughout the evening.
The Theme from ALTV kicked off the show, then Weird Al took the stage and with accordion in hand he busted out one of his infamous polka montages with parodies of “Poker Face,” “Womanizer,” “Right Round,” “I Kissed a Girl,” “Fireflies” “Blame It,” “Break Your Heart,” and “Tik Tok,” to really get the crowd going. I was surprised to see it was not a full house but the energy of the crowd was contagious. As soon as Al started playing around, we were all hypnotized by his comedic stage presence.
He had amazing costume changes, sported the quintessential Al crazy shirts with strange patterns and flamboyant colors, and even had his band put on costumes to complement him from time to time. After the opener he played, “You Make Me,” complete with some psychotic, arm-flailing dance moves causing my husband to chuckle and say, “He’s Al-tastic!”
I was laughing the entire night with the rest of the audience, a rare occurrence at most concerts, in my experience. Any songs he didn’t play during the official set were almost all acknowledged in his video interludes. He played selections from his entire catalog, which made it possible for every single fan to enjoy the show to the fullest.
“Good Old Days” came on, then “Smells like Nirvana” was played with cheerleaders to back up Al after he’d dressed grunge-like with a blonde wig to personify Kurt Cobain. “Skipper Dan,” then an amazing parody of James Blunt called, “You’re Pitiful” followed. For the mocking of “You’re Beautiful,” Al shed layers from under the blue raincoat, ending up with a sequined shirt, then a shirt that read “Atlantic Records Still Sucks,” then a “Spongebob” tee. Al then shed his pants to reveal a pink tutu and heart-patterned boxers to complete the outfit, and proving his devotion to his craft.
Amidst the video clips we saw ALTV faux interviews with Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Robert Plant, Jessica Simpson, Avril Lavigne, and Celine Dion, When I looked up the band was sporting Devo outfits to rock “Dare to be Stupid,” followed by the recent hit, “CNR.” To keep the mix going he played bit from the UHF soundtrack, “Let Me Be Your Hog,” continuing the rocking with, “Canadian Idiot.”
“Wanna Be Ur Lovr,” constituted a change into a full-on red, zebra suit. “Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies,” “Whatever You Like,” a Gilligan’s Island Parody, “Ebay,” “Bedrock Anthem,” “Another One Rides The Bus,” “Ode to a Superhero,” and the classic, “Gump” pushed the audience into the second hour of the epic set, and they were ready for more.
Complete with a red leather jacket and attempts at Jackson-like dance moves, “Eat It,” was performed, followed by “Craigslist.” Finally he played the one I’d been waiting for that I still knew all the words to, “Amish Paradise.” Just after, complete with a hoodie fashioned with the song title on the front, and riding on a Segway, Al rapped some “White and Nerdy.”
For the big finale he’d been made up and conformed into being “Fat,” “You know it!” During the song he’d jump on the stage and his audience members would pop out of their seats in unison as if to be affected by his largeness. He ended the evening with a standing ovation and smiles etched into the faces of his fans.
Persuaded back to do an encore, Al, his band-mates, with whom I suspect was his road crew, came out in Jedi, StormTrooper, Imperial Guard, and even Darth Vader costumes ready for “The Saga Begins.” To round out the Star Wars tribute, they finished with “Yoda,” which included an interlude of almost completely indecipherable chants, sounds, and chatter by Al and the band making quite the spectacle. They were in perfect unison during this crazy exchange to finish out the night.
It was “Al-tastic” indeed! The night was amazingly hilarious, and one that will never be forgotten. Whether it was your first Weird Al experience or your 50th the Mahaffey theater show definitely left fans feeling weirder than ever before!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Ringo Starr And All Starr Band Rock Ruth Eckerd Hall July 13, 2010
Almost a week after his 70th birthday Ringo Starr and the All Starr Band left the crowd star-struck at Clearwater’s Ruth Eckerd Hall. The backdrop for the stage was a huge, psychedelic star with star-gazer lilies all over. It was a sold out show hosting a different audience than I’d become accustomed to at Ruth Eckerd. It was chock-full of hippies, Beatles fans, 70’s music alumni, and fans of this year’s line-up of the All Starr Band.
Yes, the “All Starr” is indeed a pun intended. In his eleventh line-up Ringo brought with him Edgar Winter, Gary Wright, Wally Palmer, Richard Page, Rick Derringer, and Gregg Bissonette. Ringo was definitely the glue that held it all together but this was an amazing gathering of musicians onstage.
The lights dimmed, the applause started and the All Starrs came out and then introduced the great Ringo Starr, who took the stage with his hands making peace signs and a big smile. Everyone in the crowd got up to give him the standing ovation he deserved. For being 70, Ringo looked great, and seemed to be feeling good and full of energy. The BeatleMania and perhaps the corny-nostalgic part of me fought off a tear while in awe of this music-legend.
They opened with “It Don’t Come Easy.” People were shouting “Happy Birthday” to him and Ringo thanked them joking, “You can always send the gifts to the dressing room.” There were two drum sets on the stage, one for Ringo to periodically play, and one with a drummer constantly keeping beat with the rest of the band. Mostly Ringo rocked out on center stage but three songs into the set, they changed it up, and the crowd loved it.
Ringo introduced Rick Derringer, once the lead singer of the McCoys, who said that his parents had made it to the show and claimed, “They still had the Billboard Chart where the McCoys song was #1 and the Beatles “Yesterday” was #2, although that only lasted a week.” Then they played that old #1 hit, “Hang on Sloopy.” The show had officially taken off.
The chemistry with these guys was amazing and it was great to see this group of musicians brought together to just reminisce, rock out and have fun. Edgar Winter was introduced next and busted out the 70’s classic, “Free Ride” complete with a sweet keyboard solo on a keyboard he had strapped around him so it lay flat on his waist. He claimed he was the first musician to play the keyboard in this fashion so he could move around the stage, and not be stuck in one place.
Winter then introduced Wally Palmer, a Detroit-native who played with “The Romantics,” and kept the crowd going. Everyone was singing along to “Talking in Your Sleep,” and for this piece Edgar Winter played a great saxophone solo.
They threw the Beatles-classic “I Wanna Be Your Man” into the rotation then introduced Gary Wright to play “Dream Weaver,” which he attributed some of his inspiration for this song to George Harrison. The psychedelic background with colors changing and lights all over got kind of romantic, and the crowd was in love.
Ringo and His Starrs played all those songs that have been on the radio for decades that are so contagious, you know all the words to, but you could never get sick of. It was then that Richard Page was introduced as the former lead and bass player of Mr. Mister to play the 80’s-rific tune, “Kyrie,” prompting the entire audience to clap along to the beat. With that, they had finished the first rotation and moved onto the next throwing Ringo in the middle here and there. Each of Ringo’s Starr’s had the chance to rock out to their fullest and amp up the audience to the max.
It was one of those great concerts where instead of being tired and wondering how long they’ll play or when it will end, you can’t wait to hear what’s next, hoping they play all night! They played for two hours and ended with a tune that Ringo claimed hadn’t gotten such a good response at their other shows. He said he’d leave it up to the Clearwater audience to decide whether or not to keep it on the set list.
So, when they played, “With a Little Help from My Friends” the crowd went completely nuts, therefore deciding that they keep it as part of the show. For the first time since the opening everyone in the audience was standing, singing and dancing.
The big finale was a Lennon-esque tribute of “Give Peace a Chance.” Ringo was left with yet another standing ovation as the audience sent their love to Ringo as he left the stage. The All Starrs took their finale bows. Disappointingly there was no encore but the crowd exited Ruth Eckerd on a major music high after this awesome blast from the past on a Tuesday night with Ringo and his All Starr Band!
Yes, the “All Starr” is indeed a pun intended. In his eleventh line-up Ringo brought with him Edgar Winter, Gary Wright, Wally Palmer, Richard Page, Rick Derringer, and Gregg Bissonette. Ringo was definitely the glue that held it all together but this was an amazing gathering of musicians onstage.
The lights dimmed, the applause started and the All Starrs came out and then introduced the great Ringo Starr, who took the stage with his hands making peace signs and a big smile. Everyone in the crowd got up to give him the standing ovation he deserved. For being 70, Ringo looked great, and seemed to be feeling good and full of energy. The BeatleMania and perhaps the corny-nostalgic part of me fought off a tear while in awe of this music-legend.
They opened with “It Don’t Come Easy.” People were shouting “Happy Birthday” to him and Ringo thanked them joking, “You can always send the gifts to the dressing room.” There were two drum sets on the stage, one for Ringo to periodically play, and one with a drummer constantly keeping beat with the rest of the band. Mostly Ringo rocked out on center stage but three songs into the set, they changed it up, and the crowd loved it.
Ringo introduced Rick Derringer, once the lead singer of the McCoys, who said that his parents had made it to the show and claimed, “They still had the Billboard Chart where the McCoys song was #1 and the Beatles “Yesterday” was #2, although that only lasted a week.” Then they played that old #1 hit, “Hang on Sloopy.” The show had officially taken off.
The chemistry with these guys was amazing and it was great to see this group of musicians brought together to just reminisce, rock out and have fun. Edgar Winter was introduced next and busted out the 70’s classic, “Free Ride” complete with a sweet keyboard solo on a keyboard he had strapped around him so it lay flat on his waist. He claimed he was the first musician to play the keyboard in this fashion so he could move around the stage, and not be stuck in one place.
Winter then introduced Wally Palmer, a Detroit-native who played with “The Romantics,” and kept the crowd going. Everyone was singing along to “Talking in Your Sleep,” and for this piece Edgar Winter played a great saxophone solo.
They threw the Beatles-classic “I Wanna Be Your Man” into the rotation then introduced Gary Wright to play “Dream Weaver,” which he attributed some of his inspiration for this song to George Harrison. The psychedelic background with colors changing and lights all over got kind of romantic, and the crowd was in love.
Ringo and His Starrs played all those songs that have been on the radio for decades that are so contagious, you know all the words to, but you could never get sick of. It was then that Richard Page was introduced as the former lead and bass player of Mr. Mister to play the 80’s-rific tune, “Kyrie,” prompting the entire audience to clap along to the beat. With that, they had finished the first rotation and moved onto the next throwing Ringo in the middle here and there. Each of Ringo’s Starr’s had the chance to rock out to their fullest and amp up the audience to the max.
It was one of those great concerts where instead of being tired and wondering how long they’ll play or when it will end, you can’t wait to hear what’s next, hoping they play all night! They played for two hours and ended with a tune that Ringo claimed hadn’t gotten such a good response at their other shows. He said he’d leave it up to the Clearwater audience to decide whether or not to keep it on the set list.
So, when they played, “With a Little Help from My Friends” the crowd went completely nuts, therefore deciding that they keep it as part of the show. For the first time since the opening everyone in the audience was standing, singing and dancing.
The big finale was a Lennon-esque tribute of “Give Peace a Chance.” Ringo was left with yet another standing ovation as the audience sent their love to Ringo as he left the stage. The All Starrs took their finale bows. Disappointingly there was no encore but the crowd exited Ruth Eckerd on a major music high after this awesome blast from the past on a Tuesday night with Ringo and his All Starr Band!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Ice Ice Baby was Too COLD!
July 9, 2010 Vanilla Ice took over the stage at the Tropicana Field after Cleveland stung the Rays with a victory. Unlike usual protocol for the Rays Concert Series there were no wristbands, no VIP section, and anyone who attended the game could hit the field afterwards to watch the show.
When I saw that Vanilla Ice was coming to the Tampa Bay area, I thought, why not? I mean who doesn’t like “Ice, Ice Baby”? But I shortly realized the man only had one song, so perhaps it may be a short show. Then my husband reminded me that he did the Ninja Turtles 90’s theme song so I was pretty stoked to see Rob Van Winkle in action.
It turns out that “Ice, Ice Baby” was indeed “Too cold, too cold” as the performance was quite chilling. Vanilla Ice rode onto the field in a Ray’s logo-covered Hummer, while the stage was being set up. There were skeleton-ghost-clownish figures all over the stage, both props and people in costumes. People had rushed to the stage. Most of the fans were drunk, twenty-somethings but some were familes with kids in tow trying to get a glimpse of Vanilla Ice himself.
After a foggy intro Rob Van Winkle appeared and the show had begun. Being in the crowd was intense. He opened with “Dirty South” and his harsh and no longer teenage voice bounded through the Tropicana Field. His angry, nonsensical lyrics keep people’s attention for the first few minutes but a quick glance through the field showed the fans wanting one thing: to hear “Ice, Ice Baby.”
I can’t lie, it was all pretty bad. His scruffy and scraggly voice made his older songs sound terrible. There was so much hype and very little to show for it. Half of the audience probably didn’t even know who Vanilla Ice was, let alone what songs he was famous for.
To introduce “Ninja Rap,” he said, “I still love the Ninja Turtles,” yet he changed the song. It wasn’t the same, and neither was “Ice Ice Baby.” It was like he was trying to be Eminem meets ICP, with his dancing clowns and kicking water bottles all over the crowd.
It didn’t matter what song he was playing, he still managed to get the “Ice, Ice Baby” hook into every song. During his performance of “Ice, Ice Baby,” which was reminiscent of nothing from the 90’s, he had girls from age 8-28 on stage being sprayed with water. He only played 45 minute set and after the first song we left the crowd to get away from the drunken masses.
It was pretty disappointing. Perhaps the expectations were too high but it wasn’t even entertaining. Every other song he plugged his upcoming album and his website. Rob Van Winkle produced two cult classics and somehow seemed annoyed to go, “Back to the Old School,” as he called it. He was trying to be rough and tough and badass in his Hustler t-shirt but he just fell flat.
I think my husband summed it up best when he said “At least we got to see the Rays, I mean they lost and that was still the high point.”
When I saw that Vanilla Ice was coming to the Tampa Bay area, I thought, why not? I mean who doesn’t like “Ice, Ice Baby”? But I shortly realized the man only had one song, so perhaps it may be a short show. Then my husband reminded me that he did the Ninja Turtles 90’s theme song so I was pretty stoked to see Rob Van Winkle in action.
It turns out that “Ice, Ice Baby” was indeed “Too cold, too cold” as the performance was quite chilling. Vanilla Ice rode onto the field in a Ray’s logo-covered Hummer, while the stage was being set up. There were skeleton-ghost-clownish figures all over the stage, both props and people in costumes. People had rushed to the stage. Most of the fans were drunk, twenty-somethings but some were familes with kids in tow trying to get a glimpse of Vanilla Ice himself.
After a foggy intro Rob Van Winkle appeared and the show had begun. Being in the crowd was intense. He opened with “Dirty South” and his harsh and no longer teenage voice bounded through the Tropicana Field. His angry, nonsensical lyrics keep people’s attention for the first few minutes but a quick glance through the field showed the fans wanting one thing: to hear “Ice, Ice Baby.”
I can’t lie, it was all pretty bad. His scruffy and scraggly voice made his older songs sound terrible. There was so much hype and very little to show for it. Half of the audience probably didn’t even know who Vanilla Ice was, let alone what songs he was famous for.
To introduce “Ninja Rap,” he said, “I still love the Ninja Turtles,” yet he changed the song. It wasn’t the same, and neither was “Ice Ice Baby.” It was like he was trying to be Eminem meets ICP, with his dancing clowns and kicking water bottles all over the crowd.
It didn’t matter what song he was playing, he still managed to get the “Ice, Ice Baby” hook into every song. During his performance of “Ice, Ice Baby,” which was reminiscent of nothing from the 90’s, he had girls from age 8-28 on stage being sprayed with water. He only played 45 minute set and after the first song we left the crowd to get away from the drunken masses.
It was pretty disappointing. Perhaps the expectations were too high but it wasn’t even entertaining. Every other song he plugged his upcoming album and his website. Rob Van Winkle produced two cult classics and somehow seemed annoyed to go, “Back to the Old School,” as he called it. He was trying to be rough and tough and badass in his Hustler t-shirt but he just fell flat.
I think my husband summed it up best when he said “At least we got to see the Rays, I mean they lost and that was still the high point.”
Taking off clothes with Barenaked Ladies
Who doesn’t love Barenaked Ladies? Both nude females and the band are always a hit! On Saturday June 26th after the Rays played the Diamondbacks the Barenaked Ladies rocked the stage on Tropicana Field.
The Concert Series at the Trop experience was quite interesting. The Rays won, leaving the crowd elated and ready to rock on 90’s night with BNL and sing along to their chart-toppers. After the game the fans were lining up ready to rush the field and get a place near the stage. Those without wristbands hung around in the stands and caught the concert by big-screen TV.
They set up the stage in about 35 minutes and then the Barenaked Ladies were introduced by a radio personality who announced that they had a new album called “All in Good Time” coming out later this year. The Barenaked Ladies came out, a couple wearing their Rays T-Shirts, and greeted the eager audience.
They opened with “The Old Apartment,” and after the lead singer said “Hello, we’re from the 90’s!” He went on to explain that although they don’t consider themselves just a “90’s” band, that since most of their number ones came in the 90’s they had no problem rocking on 90’s night with the fans at the Trop.
“Get in Line” was played next, followed by “Falling for the First Time.” Then front-man Ed Robertson, said “I know that sports fans are a superstitious bunch, I just want to point out that you invited Barenaked Ladies to come play and you won!” From there he went to say that for every time the Trop would invite them back, the Rays would win. They launched into a little rap-montage about how this would be a new pattern to start.
“Who Needs Sleep?” was followed by a little sneak peak at their new album and a few songs from earlier work to bring the 90’s back one note at a time. The fans were singing a long, some audience members were just intrigued by their performance. They were very animated on stage and played around a lot. Even if you didn’t know any of the words, they Barenaked Ladies kept you completely entertained.
Of course they played “One Week,” “Too Little, Too Late,” “It’s All Been Done,” and “Pinch Me.” They played my personal favorite, a huge crowd pleaser, “If I Had a Million Dollars,” and finished with a cover of “Magic” with a little hip-hop, freestyle montage throwing in a few dance steps here and there to leave the crowd smiling as they left. They came back for a quick encore, leaving the crowd with “Brian Wilson.”
Their set was pretty short. Maybe 80 minutes at best but they won over the audience easily. Kids loved it, parents loved it even more, and anyone who fell in love with the Barenaked Ladies in the 90’s left completely satisfied. BNL had fun on stage, which made for a great way to celebrate the Rays victory on 90’s night at the Trop. We should have BNL back again and again just to keep the Rays at the top of their game!
The Concert Series at the Trop experience was quite interesting. The Rays won, leaving the crowd elated and ready to rock on 90’s night with BNL and sing along to their chart-toppers. After the game the fans were lining up ready to rush the field and get a place near the stage. Those without wristbands hung around in the stands and caught the concert by big-screen TV.
They set up the stage in about 35 minutes and then the Barenaked Ladies were introduced by a radio personality who announced that they had a new album called “All in Good Time” coming out later this year. The Barenaked Ladies came out, a couple wearing their Rays T-Shirts, and greeted the eager audience.
They opened with “The Old Apartment,” and after the lead singer said “Hello, we’re from the 90’s!” He went on to explain that although they don’t consider themselves just a “90’s” band, that since most of their number ones came in the 90’s they had no problem rocking on 90’s night with the fans at the Trop.
“Get in Line” was played next, followed by “Falling for the First Time.” Then front-man Ed Robertson, said “I know that sports fans are a superstitious bunch, I just want to point out that you invited Barenaked Ladies to come play and you won!” From there he went to say that for every time the Trop would invite them back, the Rays would win. They launched into a little rap-montage about how this would be a new pattern to start.
“Who Needs Sleep?” was followed by a little sneak peak at their new album and a few songs from earlier work to bring the 90’s back one note at a time. The fans were singing a long, some audience members were just intrigued by their performance. They were very animated on stage and played around a lot. Even if you didn’t know any of the words, they Barenaked Ladies kept you completely entertained.
Of course they played “One Week,” “Too Little, Too Late,” “It’s All Been Done,” and “Pinch Me.” They played my personal favorite, a huge crowd pleaser, “If I Had a Million Dollars,” and finished with a cover of “Magic” with a little hip-hop, freestyle montage throwing in a few dance steps here and there to leave the crowd smiling as they left. They came back for a quick encore, leaving the crowd with “Brian Wilson.”
Their set was pretty short. Maybe 80 minutes at best but they won over the audience easily. Kids loved it, parents loved it even more, and anyone who fell in love with the Barenaked Ladies in the 90’s left completely satisfied. BNL had fun on stage, which made for a great way to celebrate the Rays victory on 90’s night at the Trop. We should have BNL back again and again just to keep the Rays at the top of their game!
Earth, Wind and Fire at Ruth Eckerd Hall Make the World a Better Place
Amidst the thunderstorms during hurricane season, Earth, Wind and Fire came to Clearwater on Tuesday Night, June 29th, 2010. With no opener, there was a full house promptly at 8pm in anticipation of the performance.
With the exception of the Backstreet Boys concert, I’m pretty sure that Ruth Eckerd Hall hosts almost the same audience with every show. People-watching was quite interesting and the crowd was pretty diverse. The EWF stage set-up was filled with percussion, bongos, snares, and a full on drum set. There were instruments all over the place!
The lights dimmed and the show had begun. About nine musicians took the stage with no sign yet of the three main men that made up Earth, Wind and Fire. Red lights, a loud instrumental introduction, and a circular opaque screen allowed EWF to take the stage as a kind of retro-psychadelic – funkadelic aura hit the crowd. Everyone was standing up and ready to take a trip back to the 70’s and party!
The bass player had leopard-fringed bell-bottoms on with a puffy white shirt that was something out of Seinfeld, while the two lead singers wore sparkly, loud tops and jeans. They opened with “Boogie Wonderland” and the night of disco had officially begun. All of the band members were multi-talented as they moved from playing one instrument to another. Only the drummer and the horn section were stationery, and even the horn section had some sweet dance steps to keep up with the rest.
Everyone was moving and dancing throughout the show; the crowd went nuts! It was disco-tastic! I had a devout fan sitting next to me and asked how familiar I was with the music. I realized throughout the show that EWF played all those funky disco classics that we’ve danced to, that we all know but can never remember who played it.
Ladies were going crazy but I couldn’t stop watching the bass player. His outfit alone was eye-catching but he must have channeled Rick James because his stage presence was this hypnotically, manic, funky attitude that had everyone grooving right along with him. The band had a lot of fun on stage. Their chemistry was amazing.
They played all of their greatest hits like “September,” “Let’s Groove,” “Sing A Song,” “Fantasy,” and “Shining Star.” One song kind of blended into another in what turned out to be a Disco Jam Session. At one point water was poured on the drums to make a splash as the two lead singers played percussion solos.
There were various degrees of fan-hood and ages throughout the seats of Ruth Eckerd Hall. The die-hard fan next to me explained that their original lead wasn’t with them so it just wasn’t the same. He admitted that they were putting on a great show but in so many ways it just wasn’t the same as his first experience with them in the 70’s. I overheard another fan commenting on a friend bringing her daughter. She said, “She knows one song,” and the other gentleman commented, “I know about 5.” It was shortly after this that my concert neighbor commented that everyone should be up dancing and singing along, no one should be sitting!
They took a break about an hour in to let fans refill on drinks and for them to change clothes and dry off. The bass player came back with fringed jeans complete with a USA flag and symbol on each leg, and the leads came back with more loud, sparkly shirts and suit jackets. They did band-member introductions and started a set of what they referred to as “Baby-making numbers,” which consisted of slow songs like “After the Love is Gone” and tunes sweet enough to sing you to sleep.
The lead hit some high notes that could shatter glass and wowed the crowd. You could hear the passion in the piercing notes that even Mariah Carey and Celine Dion couldn’t hit. The second part of the set kept the crowd going and they ate it all up. The played for over two hours and then came back to adorn their devout fans with an encore.
Earth, Wind, and Fire are no doubt great performers, but their music and stage presence is definitely something unbeknownst to my generation! Tuesday night was the definition of a blast from the past, and their true fans fell in love with them even more! EWF may be a man short, but they are definitely not lacking anything when it comes to their performance, and their fans would most certainly agree. I think they all left Ruth Eckerd Hall with disco-fever, because I sure did!
With the exception of the Backstreet Boys concert, I’m pretty sure that Ruth Eckerd Hall hosts almost the same audience with every show. People-watching was quite interesting and the crowd was pretty diverse. The EWF stage set-up was filled with percussion, bongos, snares, and a full on drum set. There were instruments all over the place!
The lights dimmed and the show had begun. About nine musicians took the stage with no sign yet of the three main men that made up Earth, Wind and Fire. Red lights, a loud instrumental introduction, and a circular opaque screen allowed EWF to take the stage as a kind of retro-psychadelic – funkadelic aura hit the crowd. Everyone was standing up and ready to take a trip back to the 70’s and party!
The bass player had leopard-fringed bell-bottoms on with a puffy white shirt that was something out of Seinfeld, while the two lead singers wore sparkly, loud tops and jeans. They opened with “Boogie Wonderland” and the night of disco had officially begun. All of the band members were multi-talented as they moved from playing one instrument to another. Only the drummer and the horn section were stationery, and even the horn section had some sweet dance steps to keep up with the rest.
Everyone was moving and dancing throughout the show; the crowd went nuts! It was disco-tastic! I had a devout fan sitting next to me and asked how familiar I was with the music. I realized throughout the show that EWF played all those funky disco classics that we’ve danced to, that we all know but can never remember who played it.
Ladies were going crazy but I couldn’t stop watching the bass player. His outfit alone was eye-catching but he must have channeled Rick James because his stage presence was this hypnotically, manic, funky attitude that had everyone grooving right along with him. The band had a lot of fun on stage. Their chemistry was amazing.
They played all of their greatest hits like “September,” “Let’s Groove,” “Sing A Song,” “Fantasy,” and “Shining Star.” One song kind of blended into another in what turned out to be a Disco Jam Session. At one point water was poured on the drums to make a splash as the two lead singers played percussion solos.
There were various degrees of fan-hood and ages throughout the seats of Ruth Eckerd Hall. The die-hard fan next to me explained that their original lead wasn’t with them so it just wasn’t the same. He admitted that they were putting on a great show but in so many ways it just wasn’t the same as his first experience with them in the 70’s. I overheard another fan commenting on a friend bringing her daughter. She said, “She knows one song,” and the other gentleman commented, “I know about 5.” It was shortly after this that my concert neighbor commented that everyone should be up dancing and singing along, no one should be sitting!
They took a break about an hour in to let fans refill on drinks and for them to change clothes and dry off. The bass player came back with fringed jeans complete with a USA flag and symbol on each leg, and the leads came back with more loud, sparkly shirts and suit jackets. They did band-member introductions and started a set of what they referred to as “Baby-making numbers,” which consisted of slow songs like “After the Love is Gone” and tunes sweet enough to sing you to sleep.
The lead hit some high notes that could shatter glass and wowed the crowd. You could hear the passion in the piercing notes that even Mariah Carey and Celine Dion couldn’t hit. The second part of the set kept the crowd going and they ate it all up. The played for over two hours and then came back to adorn their devout fans with an encore.
Earth, Wind, and Fire are no doubt great performers, but their music and stage presence is definitely something unbeknownst to my generation! Tuesday night was the definition of a blast from the past, and their true fans fell in love with them even more! EWF may be a man short, but they are definitely not lacking anything when it comes to their performance, and their fans would most certainly agree. I think they all left Ruth Eckerd Hall with disco-fever, because I sure did!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Restaurant Retail – The Life of a Post-Grad, Married, Twenty-Something
When I was younger I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t get married until I graduated college. June 13th, 2009 I kept that promise and Graduated from the University of Oregon with a Bachelor’s Degree in Magazine Journalism. June 14th 2009 I married the love of my life. I kept the promise but about 28 hours, but I certainly didn’t let myself down!
If I could pick a dream job it would be a tie between a writer for Rolling Stone and the editor of Paste Magazine. I would want the kind of epic writing life such as that of Cameron Crowe in “Almost Famous.” It was in my last 3 months of school I had this terrible discovery that perhaps I’d wasted most of my time trying to find a place in the magazine program when perhaps I’d belonged in their Literary Non-Fiction program. I didn’t really know where the degree would take me but at least I had one.
For six years of my life I worked as a Nanny for the best family ever. I started out working once a week watching an 8 year old boy and walking him home from school, making sure he finished homework. I’d work a few Fridays or Saturdays here and there so that the parental units could venture outside the house. Less than a year into my Nanny Career, the mom was pregnant with baby number two. After about a 6 month hiatus I got this adorable note in the mail saying they may need me soon.
When the baby was about 6 months and big brother was about 9, I started working 5 days a week from 8 or 9am to 2 or whenever in the afternoon as the official “Nanny.” I left them when the youngest was 6 and big brother was 15, and I miss them every day. Once they were all grown up and my job was more or less, “done” I’d exhausted every other idea that came along with staying in Oregon.
The hubby worked as a chef, and we knew a lot of people in the restaurant biz but I still couldn’t even get an interview. With family stuff becoming emotionally horrid, friendships falling apart at the seams and tearing our love into pieces we decided to get up and go after graduation and the wedding to start a new life. We moved down to Tampa in June 2009 to be near his aunt and cousins and my cousins who lived in the next city over.
Some people thought we were crazy, some didn’t know how the hell we picked Tampa, of all places, and we had no idea what was in store for us. My husband found work almost instantly as a line-cook at a Sushi place, making the teriyaki and fried dishes that anyone who didn’t enjoy sushi was prone to order at these places. Shortly after I found a job at a place that sells “Medical Apparel,” or as I later informed anyone who asked, “I sell scrubs.”
My husband, Eben, hated his job. He said the place was a huge health code violation. They started him at decent pay but he literally worked about 6 days a week with no say in his days off and single-handedly cleaned that place up and was treated terribly. One day they just fired him because he brought up the fact that they were paying him under what they had promised him.
My job wasn’t so terrible. It was air conditioned and the girls I worked with were pretty nice. I folded and hung scrub outfits, organized shoes, filled out embroidery forms, rang up sales and what not; pretty simple. My boss and his wife ran the place. He was okay. He was mid-50’s, kind of anal-retentive, but with a pretty sharp business sense. Eben said it best when he described his wife as looking like a mix between the wicked witch from Wizard of Oz and a troll. She had this annoying muddled southern accent and when she spoke she’d use the wrong words to describe things but had decided it was the correct way. Like saying an attitude was holding yourself in a certain “posture.” She also had this way of disguising an insult in a compliment. A personal favorite of mine was, “Oh that’s a cute vest! Are vests in style?”
I thought the scrub store was okay. My bosses said it was the best place to work as far as retail went. In some ways they were right. We worked in a nice hospital, away from all the blood and guts and diseased areas. There was a coffee shop right around the corner that sold lattes and such, the cafeteria had pretty good stuff, and we could get snacks and go to the bathroom whenever. I thought I was pretty good at the whole scene and the chicks I worked with were pretty cool. For minimum wage it could have been worse.
When Eben got fired we hit panic mode. I was only working part time. I found this place on Craigslist that had great hours and wasn’t too far away. They were closed Sunday and only open 11am-9pm so no more insanely late nights. It was a Mexican Grille, which was Eben’s specialty. He knew a lot about Latin American cuisine and such. He blew them away on the interview and fell in love with the place.
About two months into his employment he mentioned something to the owner about how I’d always wanted to work in a restaurant but had only ever worked at fast food. I earned my stripes at a Burger King on campus when I was 19. They needed an extra person to run food in the front of the house and the owner looked at Eben and asked him one simple question: “Can you work with her?”
I was hired a couple of weeks later and started working nights at the restaurant. The first few months were rough. Eben was working his way up to Kitchen Manager and the Front of the House manager secretly hated me. I think most of the other girls thought that I was under the impression that since Eben was climbing up the ladder, I was something special too, but they were wrong.
The restaurant kicked my ass! It still does. Mentally it has broken me down more often than I’d care to admit, and physically, some days it sucks. I do it for the people – my co-workers (well, most of them) and for the guests. I’ve met some amazing people there. Eben is like a fish in water at that place. I doubt he could exist without it. He is constantly working to better himself. Two years ago we would have killed each other if we worked together. Now, we do quite well, and are proud of it. It’s really nice.
Although I really liked the scrub store more at first, when boss man was promoted to Regional Manager and wicked-witch boss lady was made in-store manager, everything went to shit. I thought she’d be a great manager because we could do virtually no work and she wouldn’t even notice. Instead she brought in a kind of drama only her evil counterparts could sustain. I really wanted to shine at the store so I worked hard and slacked the least bit I could. Some days were boring so I slacked more than I’d care to admit, but everything always got done.
Anyway, our new witchy manager had all these little talks with us. They weren’t pep-talks, they were discussions that were usually about one person consistently making all kinds of mistakes and instead of being an adult and confronting the person one-on-one it became a store issue. She’d pit us against each other and make these crazy assumptions and jump to these insane conclusions about our “character” and our “attitudes” based on miscommunications on a daily basis. One day I was so violently mad that I stood there trembling in tears at her psychotic accusations praying for the strength not to quit while a fellow-coworker ended up defending me.
If you were out of the line of fire one week, you were in it the next. It was a vicious rotation. Eben confessed to me later that he couldn’t stand hearing me stress about the store. It was worse than my frustrations getting to understand the way the restaurant worked.
The scrub store fired me right before my birthday vacation back to the west coast. I’d never been fired before. I cried out of frustration and because I worked my ass off at the stupid store. Plus, it didn’t help that I had one of the girls planting the seeds of my firing behind my back, making me look bad all the time. Witch-troll-manager-lady was threatened by me. I did a good job there, no, a great one, and she hated me for it. When I tried to take initiative or defend others, she saw it as undermining her and trying to go over her head. There was no discussion because how things were meant and how things were perceived were concepts this woman could never grasp. Things happened how she saw them, period!
Working the two jobs was tough but we worked hard and we played hard. Eben liked that I was willing to work so hard. In turn, he worked hard and helped me out a lot. It was a good 6 month run of working myself ragged at both places but with the darkness, comes a light.
The manager that hated me at the restaurant quite and her replacement was much nicer, and far more understanding in terms of life and schedules and such. With this employee gone there was room for me to step up and be trained in a different position. So I did. I took the leap and I said, “hey, let’s do it.”
So from college to retail to the restaurant things have been interesting. As for writing, I freelance for an amazing entity called Creative Loafing. I mostly do online writing. I do concert reviews. I get to see bands for free and write about them, sometimes even getting paid for my work. Since I started writing for them I have been to over a dozen shows. I’ve written reviews for bands and artists like, Ben Harper, Jimmy Buffet, Foreigner, Green Day, Boys Like Girls, Good Charlotte, Paul Anka, B.B. King, Buddy Guy, David Gray, Flogging Molly, Bowling For Soup, Blind Boys of Alabama, and the Backstreet Boys.
They don’t tell you in college that things like this exist; that you can have your dream job without worrying about bills and having no life. I can go to my day job and make my rent, then I can sign up for who I want to see, request tickets, and if the promoter says yes, I can take my husband to a concert for free and then write about the experience the next day for the world to read. Every once in awhile they toss me a paycheck, be it 5 bucks or 50 and I’m just doing what I love.
Life is kind of crazy. When I was twelve I would have never imagined! Sometimes I think I should be doing more, or “better,” but what else is there? I mean, really? We pay our bills and have extra to lower the credit card debt and have a little fun here and there. We go to almost all our favorite concerts for free, I build up my resume with every piece I write, and sleep very well at night. No babies, no pets; it’s just me and my man. We’re healthy, we’re happy, we’re stable, and it’s simple. Life after college only goes perfectly planned for a small percentage…most of whom have a serious supply of money. You can drive yourself crazy with these, “should I’s” and “could I’s” and ideals and societal expectations but if you are where you want to be, and you are who you want to be, what else is there?
With all my life experience, with all my jobs in the past ten years, all my schooling, and all my relationships I’ve learned enough to write a whole novel, but there is some comfort in knowing that the future is just out there and whatever I do, wherever I go, I have the tools to do anything: write, work at the mall, be a Nanny, a personal assistant, a server, a hostess, a cashier, a mom, a housewife, an artist, whatever!
Life after college is not what I’d imagined, not quite what I’d planned and isn’t always easy, but I’m happy…and I love not knowing what’d next!
If I could pick a dream job it would be a tie between a writer for Rolling Stone and the editor of Paste Magazine. I would want the kind of epic writing life such as that of Cameron Crowe in “Almost Famous.” It was in my last 3 months of school I had this terrible discovery that perhaps I’d wasted most of my time trying to find a place in the magazine program when perhaps I’d belonged in their Literary Non-Fiction program. I didn’t really know where the degree would take me but at least I had one.
For six years of my life I worked as a Nanny for the best family ever. I started out working once a week watching an 8 year old boy and walking him home from school, making sure he finished homework. I’d work a few Fridays or Saturdays here and there so that the parental units could venture outside the house. Less than a year into my Nanny Career, the mom was pregnant with baby number two. After about a 6 month hiatus I got this adorable note in the mail saying they may need me soon.
When the baby was about 6 months and big brother was about 9, I started working 5 days a week from 8 or 9am to 2 or whenever in the afternoon as the official “Nanny.” I left them when the youngest was 6 and big brother was 15, and I miss them every day. Once they were all grown up and my job was more or less, “done” I’d exhausted every other idea that came along with staying in Oregon.
The hubby worked as a chef, and we knew a lot of people in the restaurant biz but I still couldn’t even get an interview. With family stuff becoming emotionally horrid, friendships falling apart at the seams and tearing our love into pieces we decided to get up and go after graduation and the wedding to start a new life. We moved down to Tampa in June 2009 to be near his aunt and cousins and my cousins who lived in the next city over.
Some people thought we were crazy, some didn’t know how the hell we picked Tampa, of all places, and we had no idea what was in store for us. My husband found work almost instantly as a line-cook at a Sushi place, making the teriyaki and fried dishes that anyone who didn’t enjoy sushi was prone to order at these places. Shortly after I found a job at a place that sells “Medical Apparel,” or as I later informed anyone who asked, “I sell scrubs.”
My husband, Eben, hated his job. He said the place was a huge health code violation. They started him at decent pay but he literally worked about 6 days a week with no say in his days off and single-handedly cleaned that place up and was treated terribly. One day they just fired him because he brought up the fact that they were paying him under what they had promised him.
My job wasn’t so terrible. It was air conditioned and the girls I worked with were pretty nice. I folded and hung scrub outfits, organized shoes, filled out embroidery forms, rang up sales and what not; pretty simple. My boss and his wife ran the place. He was okay. He was mid-50’s, kind of anal-retentive, but with a pretty sharp business sense. Eben said it best when he described his wife as looking like a mix between the wicked witch from Wizard of Oz and a troll. She had this annoying muddled southern accent and when she spoke she’d use the wrong words to describe things but had decided it was the correct way. Like saying an attitude was holding yourself in a certain “posture.” She also had this way of disguising an insult in a compliment. A personal favorite of mine was, “Oh that’s a cute vest! Are vests in style?”
I thought the scrub store was okay. My bosses said it was the best place to work as far as retail went. In some ways they were right. We worked in a nice hospital, away from all the blood and guts and diseased areas. There was a coffee shop right around the corner that sold lattes and such, the cafeteria had pretty good stuff, and we could get snacks and go to the bathroom whenever. I thought I was pretty good at the whole scene and the chicks I worked with were pretty cool. For minimum wage it could have been worse.
When Eben got fired we hit panic mode. I was only working part time. I found this place on Craigslist that had great hours and wasn’t too far away. They were closed Sunday and only open 11am-9pm so no more insanely late nights. It was a Mexican Grille, which was Eben’s specialty. He knew a lot about Latin American cuisine and such. He blew them away on the interview and fell in love with the place.
About two months into his employment he mentioned something to the owner about how I’d always wanted to work in a restaurant but had only ever worked at fast food. I earned my stripes at a Burger King on campus when I was 19. They needed an extra person to run food in the front of the house and the owner looked at Eben and asked him one simple question: “Can you work with her?”
I was hired a couple of weeks later and started working nights at the restaurant. The first few months were rough. Eben was working his way up to Kitchen Manager and the Front of the House manager secretly hated me. I think most of the other girls thought that I was under the impression that since Eben was climbing up the ladder, I was something special too, but they were wrong.
The restaurant kicked my ass! It still does. Mentally it has broken me down more often than I’d care to admit, and physically, some days it sucks. I do it for the people – my co-workers (well, most of them) and for the guests. I’ve met some amazing people there. Eben is like a fish in water at that place. I doubt he could exist without it. He is constantly working to better himself. Two years ago we would have killed each other if we worked together. Now, we do quite well, and are proud of it. It’s really nice.
Although I really liked the scrub store more at first, when boss man was promoted to Regional Manager and wicked-witch boss lady was made in-store manager, everything went to shit. I thought she’d be a great manager because we could do virtually no work and she wouldn’t even notice. Instead she brought in a kind of drama only her evil counterparts could sustain. I really wanted to shine at the store so I worked hard and slacked the least bit I could. Some days were boring so I slacked more than I’d care to admit, but everything always got done.
Anyway, our new witchy manager had all these little talks with us. They weren’t pep-talks, they were discussions that were usually about one person consistently making all kinds of mistakes and instead of being an adult and confronting the person one-on-one it became a store issue. She’d pit us against each other and make these crazy assumptions and jump to these insane conclusions about our “character” and our “attitudes” based on miscommunications on a daily basis. One day I was so violently mad that I stood there trembling in tears at her psychotic accusations praying for the strength not to quit while a fellow-coworker ended up defending me.
If you were out of the line of fire one week, you were in it the next. It was a vicious rotation. Eben confessed to me later that he couldn’t stand hearing me stress about the store. It was worse than my frustrations getting to understand the way the restaurant worked.
The scrub store fired me right before my birthday vacation back to the west coast. I’d never been fired before. I cried out of frustration and because I worked my ass off at the stupid store. Plus, it didn’t help that I had one of the girls planting the seeds of my firing behind my back, making me look bad all the time. Witch-troll-manager-lady was threatened by me. I did a good job there, no, a great one, and she hated me for it. When I tried to take initiative or defend others, she saw it as undermining her and trying to go over her head. There was no discussion because how things were meant and how things were perceived were concepts this woman could never grasp. Things happened how she saw them, period!
Working the two jobs was tough but we worked hard and we played hard. Eben liked that I was willing to work so hard. In turn, he worked hard and helped me out a lot. It was a good 6 month run of working myself ragged at both places but with the darkness, comes a light.
The manager that hated me at the restaurant quite and her replacement was much nicer, and far more understanding in terms of life and schedules and such. With this employee gone there was room for me to step up and be trained in a different position. So I did. I took the leap and I said, “hey, let’s do it.”
So from college to retail to the restaurant things have been interesting. As for writing, I freelance for an amazing entity called Creative Loafing. I mostly do online writing. I do concert reviews. I get to see bands for free and write about them, sometimes even getting paid for my work. Since I started writing for them I have been to over a dozen shows. I’ve written reviews for bands and artists like, Ben Harper, Jimmy Buffet, Foreigner, Green Day, Boys Like Girls, Good Charlotte, Paul Anka, B.B. King, Buddy Guy, David Gray, Flogging Molly, Bowling For Soup, Blind Boys of Alabama, and the Backstreet Boys.
They don’t tell you in college that things like this exist; that you can have your dream job without worrying about bills and having no life. I can go to my day job and make my rent, then I can sign up for who I want to see, request tickets, and if the promoter says yes, I can take my husband to a concert for free and then write about the experience the next day for the world to read. Every once in awhile they toss me a paycheck, be it 5 bucks or 50 and I’m just doing what I love.
Life is kind of crazy. When I was twelve I would have never imagined! Sometimes I think I should be doing more, or “better,” but what else is there? I mean, really? We pay our bills and have extra to lower the credit card debt and have a little fun here and there. We go to almost all our favorite concerts for free, I build up my resume with every piece I write, and sleep very well at night. No babies, no pets; it’s just me and my man. We’re healthy, we’re happy, we’re stable, and it’s simple. Life after college only goes perfectly planned for a small percentage…most of whom have a serious supply of money. You can drive yourself crazy with these, “should I’s” and “could I’s” and ideals and societal expectations but if you are where you want to be, and you are who you want to be, what else is there?
With all my life experience, with all my jobs in the past ten years, all my schooling, and all my relationships I’ve learned enough to write a whole novel, but there is some comfort in knowing that the future is just out there and whatever I do, wherever I go, I have the tools to do anything: write, work at the mall, be a Nanny, a personal assistant, a server, a hostess, a cashier, a mom, a housewife, an artist, whatever!
Life after college is not what I’d imagined, not quite what I’d planned and isn’t always easy, but I’m happy…and I love not knowing what’d next!
Bring Me Back A Keychain! -A Simple Request So Often Taken for Granted-
We live in a busy world - a crazy and busy world. In a time of cynicism and sarcasm, we take many things for granted. We take people, situations, moments, request, demands, and questions for granted. For about the past decade or so I’ve inadvertently conducted an experiment and it has led to quite the discovery.
When I was younger we used to travel and I’d always ask for ridiculous souvenirs. My parents kept me away from shot glasses, even though I found them to be precious, so I ended up with keychains, pens, those license plates with your name on it, and other random things. Somehow my mom got me into collecting keychains with my name on it – we found that finding a keychain with Alison spelled with only one “L” could be kind of a task, so it was like a fun game we’d play every place we went.
Then one day, someone – a friend, classmate, neighbor or such – went on a trip and I said to them before they left, “Bring me back a keychain.” I can’t remember if on that very first instance they brought me one or not, but my asking for one became commonplace when anyone told me of an upcoming trip. It also became common that if I were asked for one, I would return with a token for a friend.
I started noticing a strange pattern. The people I would least expect actually came through for me. I had an old friend’s, ex-girlfriend buy me a keychain from San Diego. I had a friend of the boy I used to babysit, bring me a keychain back from Las Vegas.
See, it’s a simple request, isn’t it? “Hey, bring me back a keychain!” Most keychains are five dollars or under, but it’s so often overlooked. I have had some of my best friends forget, or just not get one when I’ve asked. Some people actually think I’m joking or just being ridiculous with my request.
I believe this whole thing is a testament to the world we live in…seriously! In some ways, yes, it’s completely ridiculous…all of it. But when you can’t remember a simple request, or just don’t care to do something so small to brighten someone’s day, what does that say about us all? Right now I have so many keychains I get made fun of. They say one day my transmission will become angry with me because they’re so heavy and there are so damn many!
I have keychains from places all over the world. My friend in the Air Force sent me keychains from Holland, Rome, and Germany. I got some in Ireland when I was there. A co-worker brought me one from El Salvador and my boss gave me one from the Bahamas. Currently I have keychains from Key West, Baltimore, Colorado, Hawaii, New Orleans, Seattle, Kentucky, and Amish Country accompanying various sets of keys. Most of these have been gifts in one sense or another, and all of them have sentimental value and meaning.
I think that this universe is filled with positivity and negativity. We have so many obstacles to get through, so many frowns, so many triumphs to make and so many smiles. If the simple act of bringing back a keychain can increase that positivity and keep the smiles flowing, why not just do it? Sure, this may all be quite silly, perhaps seemingly inconsequential, but just think about it! It’s quite the social study isn’t it? So the next time someone hears about your next trip and says, “Bring me back a keychain,” if you have the extra 5 bucks, maybe think about grabbing them a little something that really says, “hey, I thought about you while I was away…see?” It’s the little things in life!
When I was younger we used to travel and I’d always ask for ridiculous souvenirs. My parents kept me away from shot glasses, even though I found them to be precious, so I ended up with keychains, pens, those license plates with your name on it, and other random things. Somehow my mom got me into collecting keychains with my name on it – we found that finding a keychain with Alison spelled with only one “L” could be kind of a task, so it was like a fun game we’d play every place we went.
Then one day, someone – a friend, classmate, neighbor or such – went on a trip and I said to them before they left, “Bring me back a keychain.” I can’t remember if on that very first instance they brought me one or not, but my asking for one became commonplace when anyone told me of an upcoming trip. It also became common that if I were asked for one, I would return with a token for a friend.
I started noticing a strange pattern. The people I would least expect actually came through for me. I had an old friend’s, ex-girlfriend buy me a keychain from San Diego. I had a friend of the boy I used to babysit, bring me a keychain back from Las Vegas.
See, it’s a simple request, isn’t it? “Hey, bring me back a keychain!” Most keychains are five dollars or under, but it’s so often overlooked. I have had some of my best friends forget, or just not get one when I’ve asked. Some people actually think I’m joking or just being ridiculous with my request.
I believe this whole thing is a testament to the world we live in…seriously! In some ways, yes, it’s completely ridiculous…all of it. But when you can’t remember a simple request, or just don’t care to do something so small to brighten someone’s day, what does that say about us all? Right now I have so many keychains I get made fun of. They say one day my transmission will become angry with me because they’re so heavy and there are so damn many!
I have keychains from places all over the world. My friend in the Air Force sent me keychains from Holland, Rome, and Germany. I got some in Ireland when I was there. A co-worker brought me one from El Salvador and my boss gave me one from the Bahamas. Currently I have keychains from Key West, Baltimore, Colorado, Hawaii, New Orleans, Seattle, Kentucky, and Amish Country accompanying various sets of keys. Most of these have been gifts in one sense or another, and all of them have sentimental value and meaning.
I think that this universe is filled with positivity and negativity. We have so many obstacles to get through, so many frowns, so many triumphs to make and so many smiles. If the simple act of bringing back a keychain can increase that positivity and keep the smiles flowing, why not just do it? Sure, this may all be quite silly, perhaps seemingly inconsequential, but just think about it! It’s quite the social study isn’t it? So the next time someone hears about your next trip and says, “Bring me back a keychain,” if you have the extra 5 bucks, maybe think about grabbing them a little something that really says, “hey, I thought about you while I was away…see?” It’s the little things in life!
The Backstreet Boys Bring Back 90’s Pop at the Ruth Eckerd Hall for Memorial Day
To satisfy my teenage pop-obsessed past I decided to go for it when I saw that Backstreet Boys would be performing in Clearwater on May 31st. Yes, “Backstreet’s back, alright!”
To open, the audience met what looked like it could be the “Jackson 4,” but called themselves Mindless Behavior. With matching plaid pants, hip-pop dance moves and prepubescent-pitched catchy tunes, they were the perfect opener to complement the infamous Backstreet Boys. Mindless Behavior had very little stage to dance all over as the BSB stage set-up was hidden right behind them and a huge red curtain. Mindless Behavior put on a great opening set.
Ruth Eckerd was filled with ladies from about 12-50, disgruntled husbands and boyfriends forced against their will and a handful of men who were actually fans. These girls were all decked out, accessorized and ready to see their heartthrobs. Anyone not dressed up was sporting an overpriced Backstreet Boys shirt, tote bag or hoodie that immediately replaced their other tee or purse in anticipation of the boy band’s first Ruth Eckerd Hall appearance.
I knew they would make some insanely dramatic entrance, but it turned out to be even better. As soon as the lights went off so did the screams, cries and wails from every girl in the crowd. They had an elaborate stage setup on top of the actual Ruth Eckerd stage, complete with a staircase on either side of it, which was reminiscent of their older stage setups, just a quarter of the size of their arena shows. Now I’d never been to a BSB concert, but like all other 90’s teen girls, I knew all about what I’d missed at their shows.
They had this hilarious music video-esque/movie intro on a huge screen at the center of the top part of their stage. They had a countdown to the big moment and as their movie-screen selves started to move closest to the camera, they jumped out of the screen and the girls went crazy! Everyone was standing up and moving around as they opened with “Everybody, Backstreet’s back!”
At the risk of completely discrediting myself as having any kind of musical knowledge, I’ll admit I knew all the words and all the names of their songs through about 2003. After that I fell in and out of touch with them but knew they were still producing music. They said a new album is currently under way and should be releasing later this year. After 17 years they still have an amazing following, and this is even with one less Backstreet Boy than they started with.
After the big opener they played “We’ve got it goin’ on,” a newer selection called “PDA,” and a “Quit Playin’ Games/As Long as You Love Me” montage. Complete with wardrobe changes, fly-girls, and BSB movie interludes, the show was definitely quite the spectacle. They had a “Fast and Furious” montage with Howie against Vin Diesel which provided time to change and they reappeared in BSB sequined hoodies.
They still had the moves. Every once in awhile between the band themselves and the fly girls they would miss a beat or over-anticipate a step, but they still had it “Goin on’.” The crowd seemed to agree. They played songs new and old to satisfy every age in the crowd. “This is Us,” the title track to their most recent album was then followed by “Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely,” and “All I Have to Give.” They kept a good flow of new-old, new-old but you could tell who loved them from the start and who just recently jumped on the BSB bandwagon, with a simple scan of the crowd.
Besides the BSB “Fight Club” montage with AJ, the “Enchanted” montage with Brian, and the “Matrix” montage with Nick, the lighting, onstage drummer, and random use of cutesy props to act out the stories within the songs made for an amazingly entertaining evening. That’s the thing about Pop shows; it’s all a charade and a great one at that.
They’ve stayed consistent over all these years, which is more than we can stay for any other boy-band. BSB were some of the pioneers of the boy-band craze and it’s nice to see them still putting their all into their career. Sure, may be Pop music at its most trendy, but it certainly sticks with you; every fan at Ruth Eckerd Hall Monday night was a testament to that!
Backstreet Boys ended the evening with their greatest hit “I Want It That Way,” which ended up being the high point of the evening. They returned for a quick and easy one-song encore of their latest single “Straight through my Heart.”
The crowd left elated and ready to gab about the show. I heard a few guys commenting on how BSB updated their choreography, and even my husband admitted that, overall, the show was pretty good. For a trip down Pop music’s memory lane, it was a great one, and my fourteen year old self is finally at peace after having the ultimate boy-band experience to end Memorial Day Weekend!
To open, the audience met what looked like it could be the “Jackson 4,” but called themselves Mindless Behavior. With matching plaid pants, hip-pop dance moves and prepubescent-pitched catchy tunes, they were the perfect opener to complement the infamous Backstreet Boys. Mindless Behavior had very little stage to dance all over as the BSB stage set-up was hidden right behind them and a huge red curtain. Mindless Behavior put on a great opening set.
Ruth Eckerd was filled with ladies from about 12-50, disgruntled husbands and boyfriends forced against their will and a handful of men who were actually fans. These girls were all decked out, accessorized and ready to see their heartthrobs. Anyone not dressed up was sporting an overpriced Backstreet Boys shirt, tote bag or hoodie that immediately replaced their other tee or purse in anticipation of the boy band’s first Ruth Eckerd Hall appearance.
I knew they would make some insanely dramatic entrance, but it turned out to be even better. As soon as the lights went off so did the screams, cries and wails from every girl in the crowd. They had an elaborate stage setup on top of the actual Ruth Eckerd stage, complete with a staircase on either side of it, which was reminiscent of their older stage setups, just a quarter of the size of their arena shows. Now I’d never been to a BSB concert, but like all other 90’s teen girls, I knew all about what I’d missed at their shows.
They had this hilarious music video-esque/movie intro on a huge screen at the center of the top part of their stage. They had a countdown to the big moment and as their movie-screen selves started to move closest to the camera, they jumped out of the screen and the girls went crazy! Everyone was standing up and moving around as they opened with “Everybody, Backstreet’s back!”
At the risk of completely discrediting myself as having any kind of musical knowledge, I’ll admit I knew all the words and all the names of their songs through about 2003. After that I fell in and out of touch with them but knew they were still producing music. They said a new album is currently under way and should be releasing later this year. After 17 years they still have an amazing following, and this is even with one less Backstreet Boy than they started with.
After the big opener they played “We’ve got it goin’ on,” a newer selection called “PDA,” and a “Quit Playin’ Games/As Long as You Love Me” montage. Complete with wardrobe changes, fly-girls, and BSB movie interludes, the show was definitely quite the spectacle. They had a “Fast and Furious” montage with Howie against Vin Diesel which provided time to change and they reappeared in BSB sequined hoodies.
They still had the moves. Every once in awhile between the band themselves and the fly girls they would miss a beat or over-anticipate a step, but they still had it “Goin on’.” The crowd seemed to agree. They played songs new and old to satisfy every age in the crowd. “This is Us,” the title track to their most recent album was then followed by “Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely,” and “All I Have to Give.” They kept a good flow of new-old, new-old but you could tell who loved them from the start and who just recently jumped on the BSB bandwagon, with a simple scan of the crowd.
Besides the BSB “Fight Club” montage with AJ, the “Enchanted” montage with Brian, and the “Matrix” montage with Nick, the lighting, onstage drummer, and random use of cutesy props to act out the stories within the songs made for an amazingly entertaining evening. That’s the thing about Pop shows; it’s all a charade and a great one at that.
They’ve stayed consistent over all these years, which is more than we can stay for any other boy-band. BSB were some of the pioneers of the boy-band craze and it’s nice to see them still putting their all into their career. Sure, may be Pop music at its most trendy, but it certainly sticks with you; every fan at Ruth Eckerd Hall Monday night was a testament to that!
Backstreet Boys ended the evening with their greatest hit “I Want It That Way,” which ended up being the high point of the evening. They returned for a quick and easy one-song encore of their latest single “Straight through my Heart.”
The crowd left elated and ready to gab about the show. I heard a few guys commenting on how BSB updated their choreography, and even my husband admitted that, overall, the show was pretty good. For a trip down Pop music’s memory lane, it was a great one, and my fourteen year old self is finally at peace after having the ultimate boy-band experience to end Memorial Day Weekend!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
My MEN-Y Mistakes
Okay, so in my years of trying to be precious with my old best friend, Zane, I used to claim that he was my first boyfriend. Zane and I are exactly 4 months apart, and as babies we used to play. We were more or less inseparable during the times we were together. There happens to be one important and quite classic picture of us in diapers on the porch hugging. Ahhh, first love!
Probably a more realistic version of my first boyfriend, as memory served, would be Bradley. He was a year older - I always did like older men - we met during Pre-School. I gave him my E.T. stuffed animal because I loved him oh-so-much. We even went to the beach and camping together, or so we recall. We only broke up because he moved…and you know, we couldn’t do the long distance thing. He still has my E.T. doll.
My first grade boyfriend was James. I remember he was allergic to bees, but braved his mother’s garden to get me flowers once. Between our two families we went to the beach a few times, and even went to the Baltimore Aquarium together. We were close, until I switch schools.
In 3rd or 4th grade there was Rick. Rick gave me an “I love you” bracelet. It was one of those plastic and elastic things that came around some stuffed love-bug or bear’s neck. The “I love you” washed off the plastic heart when I washed my hands, almost as fast as we decided not to be boyfriend-girlfriend after all. I think we separated on pretty good terms.
From then on I pretty much ended up in the “friend zone” with men. For a long time, I thought it was cool. I seemed to have all the guys as my buddies, therefore I wasn’t seen as girlfriend material. It never really bothered me. I liked having guy friends; they were funny! Then, however, I entered high school, and with all the dances and social situations, one often needed to have a bona-fide “date.”
By the time I got around to asking, any of the cute guys were either already taken or just didn’t really want to go to the dances at all. I had one "official date" for homecoming of my sophomore year and he was sweet, pimply, and seemed to be pretty enamored of me. The kid would barely let me go to the bathroom, let alone do anything else that night. He was not my kind of guy but he was kind and showed me a good time so, the night was more or less a success.
After that I moved away from my Catholic School upbringing and entered the torrid environment of public schooling in Florida. After a year of sports, I'd managed to rid myself of all my “baby-fat." I’d apparently stumbled into being attractive. I got my first job at Target and met a guy. I was 16 and he was 20. Jonathan had his own apartment and was a sweet talker. We hung out for like 2 months. I started to get the feeling I wasn’t the only Target employee he was hanging around with and he got frustrated with the fact that I kept our relationship at a simplistic level. When I wouldn’t give him what he wanted, he ended it and then shortly after, he got into a lot of trouble for stealing things from the Target stockroom. I should have realized then, I go after the completely wrong men.
Yup, I pick winners. Sometimes I think that the only way I can have real relationships with guys is to keep it platonic. I used to have so many awesome guy friends and I mean actual "friends" but when I got to high school in Florida, everything changed. I’d just gotten used to that fact that I actually liked my body. It was kind of unexplored territory, discovering that guys found me attractive.
I started getting major crushes on guys after that. There were a few cuties here and there but somehow after the thieving, older man first-dating experience, my men-choices became relatively self-destructive. Not only did I never hook any real “boyfriends,” but I started to go after terminally unattainable guys.
I had a crush on this one guy in my Physics class and he came over to my house for a party once. After one too many Smirnoff Ice’s, I threw myself at him and he completely rejected me. After that I just stuck to the art of flirting. And then, one of the guys finally came to me.
I joined the Drama club and there were a few cuties but, in all actuality, most of those guys probably ended up on the other team. There was this one guy, though, that totally fell for me. I wasn’t instantly attracted to him, but the fact that he thought of me as something special was quite the aphrodisiac. What wasn’t a turn-on, was the fact that he had a girlfriend…in another state. Still though, we engaged in secret flirtations, talked online a lot, and made quite the private relationship. When his girlfriend arrived to see the Drama club play, I knew it was best to just walk away. Once I saw the girl that I’d more or less, betrayed, and she was none-the-wiser, I was no longer around just for his entertainment. So I went after one of his friends, who happened to be the lead in the play.
Now that I think about this whole scenario, and the sequence of events, I realize it’s pretty messed up. All of it! But, in the midst of what could have become some serious Drama club drama, I moved again. I was back, again, to the West Coast. Safely under the supervision of my father, I retired from any kind of dating scene…at least for the summer before my senior year.
Senior year was tough and I only made a small grouping of friends. I only needed four classes to graduate and I didn’t really get involved in any clubs. One day I met two guys, also new to South Eugene, Alex and Kevin. With having become the "odd ones out" as our thing we had in common, we clicked.
Kevin and I lived in the same part of town, were the same age, liked the same music and were both living with our fathers’ under protest. Alex hated his home life and liked being with us. We made quite the “gang.”
Kevin and I had a minor flirtation between us, but I was dug deep into the “friend zone” with him. He went after one of my "hot," girl buddies who rejected him because she knew I had a thing for him. One day we were snuggled up watching a movie and we kissed. I fell for him hard. He was my first love, but he did not love me back...at all. Even though we were inseparable, his parents loved me, my dad thought he was great, and people already thought we were dating, he never made it official. I started harassing him about prom and he kept saying “maybe.”
Then, on Valentine’s Day, I arrived at school to find my locker adorned in flowers with balloons and a note inside with a corny computer graphic of a high school couple at a formal dancing, and it read, “Will you go to prom with me? – Kevin.” I was floating on air. It was the best day ever; so romantic! That weekend he went to help me pick out my prom dress and told me his parents were giving us money for dinner and a limo. It was going to be the senior prom I’d always dreamed of. I was so happy.
A month before prom Kevin started dating a tall, big-boobed, freshman, basketball player. It didn’t seem too serious with them and he kept hanging out with me so I tucked my jealousy and hurt feelings far away. Plus, his parents hated her, what chance could she have? Two weeks before prom a mutual friend grabbed me in the hall and told me that I should find another date for prom…Kevin had decided to take Amber, his new girlfriend, instead of me. It broke me. It was one of those moments from a movie where everything just falls apart and some sad song plays in the background.
After that, we were never the same. I managed to forgive him, but we were barely friends. I started hanging out with some of his guy friends to prove I was over him and then I reconnected with someone who would change my life and my relationships with men forever. Kevin moved away a year after high school and I never heard from him again. I hear he’s married with a kid and found Jesus. Good for him!
Right around my 19th birthday I found my “first boyfriend,” Zane, again. He lived in Oregon and was moving to Eugene with his buddies to go to college. His Aunt, cousins, and his mom pushed for us to, at least, hang out a few times and possible forge a friendship. It was a success.
Zane, Mike, Eben, Josh and Scott moved from Medford to Eugene and changed my life forever. Zane was admittedly adorable, but totally into his ex-girlfriend, who was also moving to Eugene. Mike was cool and funny. Scott was tall and eccentric, and then there was Eben. He was a giant, red-headed, teddy bear, and the oldest in the house, Josh, was older, punk rock, and could buy us alcohol.
We all started hanging out because we lived 3 blocks apart. It didn’t take long for me to grab one. Unfortunately, true to form and bad habits, I picked Josh. Josh had the older man thing going for him, and he had a life story, a dysfunctional family and tattoos. He was mysterious…I later found out, it was in all the wrong ways.
I ended up spending a lot of my time paying for Josh and I to have a relationship: dinners, concerts, getting him to and from Medford. He lived with his grandparents, who had a lot of medical problems, and was in Medford a lot to take care of them. He was never that nice to me, but never that mean at the same time. Every once in awhile though, I thought he was lying to me or making things up. There was one day that he was acting a little too familiar – in ways I’d learned about first hand, after living with my mother. I started telling him he was making me uncomfortable and that it was kind of a déjà-vu situation.
Josh immediately got defensive and started getting really upset. The next day I came over to the house in between my two jobs and school to bring Josh food and I found him flirting with an unattractive and slutty friend of the neighbor. It was a little too suspicious. I pulled him aside to talk about it and he just got annoyed and acted as though I was crazy. After making up story after story and his borrowing dollar after dollar, one night we got into it and he started a screaming match. He raised his hand to me; I thought he was going to hit me but he held back.
The whole house heard him yelling at me…I think he knew he’d never escape unscathed if he touched me.
A week later I somehow ended up taking care of his little brother, staying at his house while he was in Medford. After that I left for a week to go visit my friends in Florida. Josh dropped me off at the Portland airport. I was gone the same time that my dad was out of town as well, and he said it was okay for Josh to borrow the car while I was gone. We barely spoke while I was away. I had a great time and pretended Josh and I had a good relationship the whole time I was in Florida.
The day I flew home, Josh was supposed to pick me up at the airport. When I got there, he was nowhere to be found. He didn’t have a cell phone, and his Grandparents had no idea where he was. He was more or less MIA. I called Eben and Mike franticly. I could have called my sister but it was too embarrassing. Four hours later, with Mike and Eben halfway there, Josh just appeared, and was then pissed off at me because he’d been searching for me for 30min.
He put me in the car-which was filthy- and had Eben’s dog, Harley, running around in it and told me that things were bad in Medford, and he’d be moving back there. He also told me that the guys in the house had turned against him and kicked him out of the house, and out of the band. He made it sound like I should hate them too but my heart was with the boys. I was going to stay out of it. He took me home, I fed Harley, he spent the night and then asked if he could borrow the car for two days to tie up loose ends in Medford.
Of course I said yes. I could ride my bike to work, no problem. That night he told me he loved me. I said it too, unsure, of if I even meant it. The next morning he left. I walked over to the house to give Zane, Mike, Eben and Scott the silly shot glasses, key chains and Florida touristy stuff I’d picked up for them on my trip. Scott started off on some stuff about Josh stealing from people, and I didn’t know what to say.
I went up to Mike and Eben’s room and they told me what happened: Josh had lied to us all – he’d had a severe pill problem. He’d been buying and stealing pain pills from the neighbor, stealing money from his roommates to get it, lied about any, and every job he had, and had run to Medford to stay off the radar. He tried to steal Harley the pug, and had put his little brother in the middle of it. Worst of all, he had duped me into giving him too much money-which the guys never knew about until that day- and now he had my car.
Mike and Eben drove me to Medford to get my car. This time the bumper stickers came in handy. My dad was away this whole time. I almost had to report the Echo stolen. But then we found him. Eben knew all of Josh’s hiding places, and we found him and Harley at his mom’s house. I told him to give me the car and the keys, and Eben took the dog. Poor Michael, Josh’s little brother, had come to be quite close to me and looked at me with concern. He asked “Alison, what’s happening? What’s wrong?” I looked and said “It’s fine Michael, get in the house, I need to talk to your brother.”
I don’t even really remember what I said but I couldn’t even look at him. I remember yelling about him lying to me and about him acting as though my actions were so rash. I told him I almost reported the car stolen. I was in tears, mostly mad at myself. I left and never saw him again.
That night I just wanted to see Zane. He’d gone home to be with his parents in the wake of all the drama. He didn’t really want to see me, or now that I think about it he didn’t want to at all. His then-kind-of-girlfriend, Veronica, gave me intense chocolate cookies to accompany me on my tearful journey home.
The next day I had to break the news to my father. I also found letters in my trunk from Josh. They were for everyone in the house…but not a single one was for me. All of them were apologies…and I didn’t get one. The only thing my dad said was that he hoped that after all of it, I didn’t lose faith in people as a whole. I was pretty broken. I wanted to stay away from guys…for a long time.
But, a month later, the best thing ever happened. Eben and I had always been best friends. He was always great to me. I felt safe with him. Then one night, after grabbing some movies and hanging out, he kissed me. At first it was weird. I didn’t know if we could take the relationship there.
Apparently he’d loved me since he met me, and wanted to make sure no one else stole me away. The whole house was excited for us to be together, believing that we both deserved some happiness. We started dating and made it for about 6 months before I got a little freaked. This was my first big relationship with meaning. We had some serious speed-bumps and potholes in our way. We were so young, but he stuck with me and I put everything into being good to him.
I’ll be honest, I messed up a lot. I picked fights that were irrelevant, I put too many other people before him, and I let other people interfere in our relationship but the love was always there – still is! We made it a little over a year and then—here is something you may not know: After One Down Enough lost their bass player to a Yoko Ono type, Eben and I broke up for 6 months. That’s right! Eben and I had this great relationship but when Mike left the band, the house and his best friend, Eben, all to be with his new love, it shook us all.
Eben and I decided that if we couldn’t be friends after dating, we couldn’t be together at all. So we pulled a “Ross,” a very “Friends”-esque situation and took a “break.” Eben dated one chick a little bit and I dated someone new as well.
I met Brady through Zane – another red flag - so far only one guy I met through Zane worked out, even Zane and I as friends ended tragic and dramatically! Anyway, Brady was tall, lanky, handsome and kind of a preppy kid. He was way out of my league but somehow I’d attracted him to me.
Brady took me on actual dates. Eben always did too, but Eben was the first. I didn’t know this was common with other guys. Brady picked me flowers, bought me dinners, drinks, let me control the remote, hang with his friends, all of it. He was sweet. But he got mad about the silliest things. In my effort to play everything right and avoid the games guys play, I guess things kind of went awry.
Brady had a psycho ex-girlfriend who called my phone and wanted to be friends. Brady would get drunk and be totally into me, then the next day, put me down. He didn’t want to take our relationship anywhere because he thought I was still attached to Eben. In some ways, I totally still was, but Brady never even gave us a real chance. Then, one night, his friends psyched me up to make him forget his psycho-ex that they all hated, and go reel in Brady. Brady had a lot to drink. I was going to stay over at his place but instead Brady told me I was a complete waste of time and he wished we’d never met. I left and decided I was done with the bullshit.
One of his friends asked what happened and I said, “For all intents and purposes we broke up.” I was well aware I was never his girlfriend but after three months of hanging out that’s what it felt like. Brady called me the next day, acted like nothing happened, said he didn’t remember saying that to me and then got annoyed I actually said the words, “broke up” about our relationship. He seemed to still want to hang out but I wasn’t into it.
True to form I ended up dating his friend for two weeks. His friend was apparently into me and I kinda thought he was cute too. Matt was the worst kisser ever! I should have known better. He also liked to parade the fact that I said we could hang out, in front of Brady. It was fun at first but then it got old, and so did being around Matt. He really liked me. He called me, text me all the time, and always wanted to hang out. I liked the idea of Matt, but we didn’t mesh well. Truthfully, I missed Eben.
Then I found out that Matt had bragged to Brady and the rest of Zane’s co-workers about his relationship with me, therefore I told a completely different story, out of pure anger and disgust that I’d managed to pick another, typical, shitty guy.
Eben and I started hanging out and talking about what we wanted. And we wanted each other. Two months later we made it official again, on what we call our “fake-iversary.” We had three perfect months together before we hit our next bump, which was my fault – as per usual. We bounced back okay.
Eben and I have always struggled well together, sharing battle wounds. We had a tumultuous two years after that. We got back together in January, moved in together in April or May, I left for London for three months in August, and came back late November. The time apart allowed me to heal. I’d unraveled myself into mess after mess. The only consistency in my life was the fact that Eben occasionally rolled me back into one piece again.
When I got home things got crazy. School was intense, friendships were more so, and my relationship with my family was all over the board. Between my Grandmother, my mother and my relationship with Zane, things were constantly throwing me for a loop. Eben stood by my fits, my self-destruction, and my wavering self esteem, always there to be my rock.
After 2008, a terrible year, the beginning of 2009 taking a turn for the worse, Eben and I reached a crossroads. Eben knew I was dying, emotionally. I wasn’t the girl he fell in love with. She was buried deep within the pain. It was a pain he didn't fully understand. He knew I was still in there but, I really needed to find her. I made a decision to make some real changes.
I was in a deep, dark, and scary depression. I sought counseling and started really talking it out. I did group and individual therapy. For awhile, I had a great web of support from friends and family. This time, when it all came crashing down, I had me, and then, just Eben and I together, as one, to weather the storm. He felt the pain too this time. It wasn’t just my crazy dysfunction. We were finally whole, and together. Eben and I did months of couples counseling to take us to the next step in our relationship, to really commit.
We’d talked about getting married and knew that whenever it happened we were going to move in a positive direction and finally just be "us." In all of my MEN-Y mistakes, Eben was the right to my wrong. And now he helps me write my wrongs.
Eben has given me the kind of love I never thought possible. Sometimes it still scares me; all of it. Sometimes I cry thinking of the pain I caused the only man who has loved me unconditionally. Sometimes I cry for the loss of time playing games and making the mistakes I did. But, now I’m just glad we escaped from all of it together, closer and better off in the end. I've gotten to the point where I'm thankful I made my mistakes.
We all have lists of regrets, things we wish we could take back…but if doing all those fucked up things and dealing with all of those fucked up men, is what brought me to my white knight, my Eben, my LOBSTER, I wouldn’t change it for the world!
To think we will have been together 6 years (give or take 6 months ;-) in October, and have been married a full year in June…I am so lucky, and I know it every single day! The one mistake I will never make, is risking my relationship with Eben ever again!
Probably a more realistic version of my first boyfriend, as memory served, would be Bradley. He was a year older - I always did like older men - we met during Pre-School. I gave him my E.T. stuffed animal because I loved him oh-so-much. We even went to the beach and camping together, or so we recall. We only broke up because he moved…and you know, we couldn’t do the long distance thing. He still has my E.T. doll.
My first grade boyfriend was James. I remember he was allergic to bees, but braved his mother’s garden to get me flowers once. Between our two families we went to the beach a few times, and even went to the Baltimore Aquarium together. We were close, until I switch schools.
In 3rd or 4th grade there was Rick. Rick gave me an “I love you” bracelet. It was one of those plastic and elastic things that came around some stuffed love-bug or bear’s neck. The “I love you” washed off the plastic heart when I washed my hands, almost as fast as we decided not to be boyfriend-girlfriend after all. I think we separated on pretty good terms.
From then on I pretty much ended up in the “friend zone” with men. For a long time, I thought it was cool. I seemed to have all the guys as my buddies, therefore I wasn’t seen as girlfriend material. It never really bothered me. I liked having guy friends; they were funny! Then, however, I entered high school, and with all the dances and social situations, one often needed to have a bona-fide “date.”
By the time I got around to asking, any of the cute guys were either already taken or just didn’t really want to go to the dances at all. I had one "official date" for homecoming of my sophomore year and he was sweet, pimply, and seemed to be pretty enamored of me. The kid would barely let me go to the bathroom, let alone do anything else that night. He was not my kind of guy but he was kind and showed me a good time so, the night was more or less a success.
After that I moved away from my Catholic School upbringing and entered the torrid environment of public schooling in Florida. After a year of sports, I'd managed to rid myself of all my “baby-fat." I’d apparently stumbled into being attractive. I got my first job at Target and met a guy. I was 16 and he was 20. Jonathan had his own apartment and was a sweet talker. We hung out for like 2 months. I started to get the feeling I wasn’t the only Target employee he was hanging around with and he got frustrated with the fact that I kept our relationship at a simplistic level. When I wouldn’t give him what he wanted, he ended it and then shortly after, he got into a lot of trouble for stealing things from the Target stockroom. I should have realized then, I go after the completely wrong men.
Yup, I pick winners. Sometimes I think that the only way I can have real relationships with guys is to keep it platonic. I used to have so many awesome guy friends and I mean actual "friends" but when I got to high school in Florida, everything changed. I’d just gotten used to that fact that I actually liked my body. It was kind of unexplored territory, discovering that guys found me attractive.
I started getting major crushes on guys after that. There were a few cuties here and there but somehow after the thieving, older man first-dating experience, my men-choices became relatively self-destructive. Not only did I never hook any real “boyfriends,” but I started to go after terminally unattainable guys.
I had a crush on this one guy in my Physics class and he came over to my house for a party once. After one too many Smirnoff Ice’s, I threw myself at him and he completely rejected me. After that I just stuck to the art of flirting. And then, one of the guys finally came to me.
I joined the Drama club and there were a few cuties but, in all actuality, most of those guys probably ended up on the other team. There was this one guy, though, that totally fell for me. I wasn’t instantly attracted to him, but the fact that he thought of me as something special was quite the aphrodisiac. What wasn’t a turn-on, was the fact that he had a girlfriend…in another state. Still though, we engaged in secret flirtations, talked online a lot, and made quite the private relationship. When his girlfriend arrived to see the Drama club play, I knew it was best to just walk away. Once I saw the girl that I’d more or less, betrayed, and she was none-the-wiser, I was no longer around just for his entertainment. So I went after one of his friends, who happened to be the lead in the play.
Now that I think about this whole scenario, and the sequence of events, I realize it’s pretty messed up. All of it! But, in the midst of what could have become some serious Drama club drama, I moved again. I was back, again, to the West Coast. Safely under the supervision of my father, I retired from any kind of dating scene…at least for the summer before my senior year.
Senior year was tough and I only made a small grouping of friends. I only needed four classes to graduate and I didn’t really get involved in any clubs. One day I met two guys, also new to South Eugene, Alex and Kevin. With having become the "odd ones out" as our thing we had in common, we clicked.
Kevin and I lived in the same part of town, were the same age, liked the same music and were both living with our fathers’ under protest. Alex hated his home life and liked being with us. We made quite the “gang.”
Kevin and I had a minor flirtation between us, but I was dug deep into the “friend zone” with him. He went after one of my "hot," girl buddies who rejected him because she knew I had a thing for him. One day we were snuggled up watching a movie and we kissed. I fell for him hard. He was my first love, but he did not love me back...at all. Even though we were inseparable, his parents loved me, my dad thought he was great, and people already thought we were dating, he never made it official. I started harassing him about prom and he kept saying “maybe.”
Then, on Valentine’s Day, I arrived at school to find my locker adorned in flowers with balloons and a note inside with a corny computer graphic of a high school couple at a formal dancing, and it read, “Will you go to prom with me? – Kevin.” I was floating on air. It was the best day ever; so romantic! That weekend he went to help me pick out my prom dress and told me his parents were giving us money for dinner and a limo. It was going to be the senior prom I’d always dreamed of. I was so happy.
A month before prom Kevin started dating a tall, big-boobed, freshman, basketball player. It didn’t seem too serious with them and he kept hanging out with me so I tucked my jealousy and hurt feelings far away. Plus, his parents hated her, what chance could she have? Two weeks before prom a mutual friend grabbed me in the hall and told me that I should find another date for prom…Kevin had decided to take Amber, his new girlfriend, instead of me. It broke me. It was one of those moments from a movie where everything just falls apart and some sad song plays in the background.
After that, we were never the same. I managed to forgive him, but we were barely friends. I started hanging out with some of his guy friends to prove I was over him and then I reconnected with someone who would change my life and my relationships with men forever. Kevin moved away a year after high school and I never heard from him again. I hear he’s married with a kid and found Jesus. Good for him!
Right around my 19th birthday I found my “first boyfriend,” Zane, again. He lived in Oregon and was moving to Eugene with his buddies to go to college. His Aunt, cousins, and his mom pushed for us to, at least, hang out a few times and possible forge a friendship. It was a success.
Zane, Mike, Eben, Josh and Scott moved from Medford to Eugene and changed my life forever. Zane was admittedly adorable, but totally into his ex-girlfriend, who was also moving to Eugene. Mike was cool and funny. Scott was tall and eccentric, and then there was Eben. He was a giant, red-headed, teddy bear, and the oldest in the house, Josh, was older, punk rock, and could buy us alcohol.
We all started hanging out because we lived 3 blocks apart. It didn’t take long for me to grab one. Unfortunately, true to form and bad habits, I picked Josh. Josh had the older man thing going for him, and he had a life story, a dysfunctional family and tattoos. He was mysterious…I later found out, it was in all the wrong ways.
I ended up spending a lot of my time paying for Josh and I to have a relationship: dinners, concerts, getting him to and from Medford. He lived with his grandparents, who had a lot of medical problems, and was in Medford a lot to take care of them. He was never that nice to me, but never that mean at the same time. Every once in awhile though, I thought he was lying to me or making things up. There was one day that he was acting a little too familiar – in ways I’d learned about first hand, after living with my mother. I started telling him he was making me uncomfortable and that it was kind of a déjà-vu situation.
Josh immediately got defensive and started getting really upset. The next day I came over to the house in between my two jobs and school to bring Josh food and I found him flirting with an unattractive and slutty friend of the neighbor. It was a little too suspicious. I pulled him aside to talk about it and he just got annoyed and acted as though I was crazy. After making up story after story and his borrowing dollar after dollar, one night we got into it and he started a screaming match. He raised his hand to me; I thought he was going to hit me but he held back.
The whole house heard him yelling at me…I think he knew he’d never escape unscathed if he touched me.
A week later I somehow ended up taking care of his little brother, staying at his house while he was in Medford. After that I left for a week to go visit my friends in Florida. Josh dropped me off at the Portland airport. I was gone the same time that my dad was out of town as well, and he said it was okay for Josh to borrow the car while I was gone. We barely spoke while I was away. I had a great time and pretended Josh and I had a good relationship the whole time I was in Florida.
The day I flew home, Josh was supposed to pick me up at the airport. When I got there, he was nowhere to be found. He didn’t have a cell phone, and his Grandparents had no idea where he was. He was more or less MIA. I called Eben and Mike franticly. I could have called my sister but it was too embarrassing. Four hours later, with Mike and Eben halfway there, Josh just appeared, and was then pissed off at me because he’d been searching for me for 30min.
He put me in the car-which was filthy- and had Eben’s dog, Harley, running around in it and told me that things were bad in Medford, and he’d be moving back there. He also told me that the guys in the house had turned against him and kicked him out of the house, and out of the band. He made it sound like I should hate them too but my heart was with the boys. I was going to stay out of it. He took me home, I fed Harley, he spent the night and then asked if he could borrow the car for two days to tie up loose ends in Medford.
Of course I said yes. I could ride my bike to work, no problem. That night he told me he loved me. I said it too, unsure, of if I even meant it. The next morning he left. I walked over to the house to give Zane, Mike, Eben and Scott the silly shot glasses, key chains and Florida touristy stuff I’d picked up for them on my trip. Scott started off on some stuff about Josh stealing from people, and I didn’t know what to say.
I went up to Mike and Eben’s room and they told me what happened: Josh had lied to us all – he’d had a severe pill problem. He’d been buying and stealing pain pills from the neighbor, stealing money from his roommates to get it, lied about any, and every job he had, and had run to Medford to stay off the radar. He tried to steal Harley the pug, and had put his little brother in the middle of it. Worst of all, he had duped me into giving him too much money-which the guys never knew about until that day- and now he had my car.
Mike and Eben drove me to Medford to get my car. This time the bumper stickers came in handy. My dad was away this whole time. I almost had to report the Echo stolen. But then we found him. Eben knew all of Josh’s hiding places, and we found him and Harley at his mom’s house. I told him to give me the car and the keys, and Eben took the dog. Poor Michael, Josh’s little brother, had come to be quite close to me and looked at me with concern. He asked “Alison, what’s happening? What’s wrong?” I looked and said “It’s fine Michael, get in the house, I need to talk to your brother.”
I don’t even really remember what I said but I couldn’t even look at him. I remember yelling about him lying to me and about him acting as though my actions were so rash. I told him I almost reported the car stolen. I was in tears, mostly mad at myself. I left and never saw him again.
That night I just wanted to see Zane. He’d gone home to be with his parents in the wake of all the drama. He didn’t really want to see me, or now that I think about it he didn’t want to at all. His then-kind-of-girlfriend, Veronica, gave me intense chocolate cookies to accompany me on my tearful journey home.
The next day I had to break the news to my father. I also found letters in my trunk from Josh. They were for everyone in the house…but not a single one was for me. All of them were apologies…and I didn’t get one. The only thing my dad said was that he hoped that after all of it, I didn’t lose faith in people as a whole. I was pretty broken. I wanted to stay away from guys…for a long time.
But, a month later, the best thing ever happened. Eben and I had always been best friends. He was always great to me. I felt safe with him. Then one night, after grabbing some movies and hanging out, he kissed me. At first it was weird. I didn’t know if we could take the relationship there.
Apparently he’d loved me since he met me, and wanted to make sure no one else stole me away. The whole house was excited for us to be together, believing that we both deserved some happiness. We started dating and made it for about 6 months before I got a little freaked. This was my first big relationship with meaning. We had some serious speed-bumps and potholes in our way. We were so young, but he stuck with me and I put everything into being good to him.
I’ll be honest, I messed up a lot. I picked fights that were irrelevant, I put too many other people before him, and I let other people interfere in our relationship but the love was always there – still is! We made it a little over a year and then—here is something you may not know: After One Down Enough lost their bass player to a Yoko Ono type, Eben and I broke up for 6 months. That’s right! Eben and I had this great relationship but when Mike left the band, the house and his best friend, Eben, all to be with his new love, it shook us all.
Eben and I decided that if we couldn’t be friends after dating, we couldn’t be together at all. So we pulled a “Ross,” a very “Friends”-esque situation and took a “break.” Eben dated one chick a little bit and I dated someone new as well.
I met Brady through Zane – another red flag - so far only one guy I met through Zane worked out, even Zane and I as friends ended tragic and dramatically! Anyway, Brady was tall, lanky, handsome and kind of a preppy kid. He was way out of my league but somehow I’d attracted him to me.
Brady took me on actual dates. Eben always did too, but Eben was the first. I didn’t know this was common with other guys. Brady picked me flowers, bought me dinners, drinks, let me control the remote, hang with his friends, all of it. He was sweet. But he got mad about the silliest things. In my effort to play everything right and avoid the games guys play, I guess things kind of went awry.
Brady had a psycho ex-girlfriend who called my phone and wanted to be friends. Brady would get drunk and be totally into me, then the next day, put me down. He didn’t want to take our relationship anywhere because he thought I was still attached to Eben. In some ways, I totally still was, but Brady never even gave us a real chance. Then, one night, his friends psyched me up to make him forget his psycho-ex that they all hated, and go reel in Brady. Brady had a lot to drink. I was going to stay over at his place but instead Brady told me I was a complete waste of time and he wished we’d never met. I left and decided I was done with the bullshit.
One of his friends asked what happened and I said, “For all intents and purposes we broke up.” I was well aware I was never his girlfriend but after three months of hanging out that’s what it felt like. Brady called me the next day, acted like nothing happened, said he didn’t remember saying that to me and then got annoyed I actually said the words, “broke up” about our relationship. He seemed to still want to hang out but I wasn’t into it.
True to form I ended up dating his friend for two weeks. His friend was apparently into me and I kinda thought he was cute too. Matt was the worst kisser ever! I should have known better. He also liked to parade the fact that I said we could hang out, in front of Brady. It was fun at first but then it got old, and so did being around Matt. He really liked me. He called me, text me all the time, and always wanted to hang out. I liked the idea of Matt, but we didn’t mesh well. Truthfully, I missed Eben.
Then I found out that Matt had bragged to Brady and the rest of Zane’s co-workers about his relationship with me, therefore I told a completely different story, out of pure anger and disgust that I’d managed to pick another, typical, shitty guy.
Eben and I started hanging out and talking about what we wanted. And we wanted each other. Two months later we made it official again, on what we call our “fake-iversary.” We had three perfect months together before we hit our next bump, which was my fault – as per usual. We bounced back okay.
Eben and I have always struggled well together, sharing battle wounds. We had a tumultuous two years after that. We got back together in January, moved in together in April or May, I left for London for three months in August, and came back late November. The time apart allowed me to heal. I’d unraveled myself into mess after mess. The only consistency in my life was the fact that Eben occasionally rolled me back into one piece again.
When I got home things got crazy. School was intense, friendships were more so, and my relationship with my family was all over the board. Between my Grandmother, my mother and my relationship with Zane, things were constantly throwing me for a loop. Eben stood by my fits, my self-destruction, and my wavering self esteem, always there to be my rock.
After 2008, a terrible year, the beginning of 2009 taking a turn for the worse, Eben and I reached a crossroads. Eben knew I was dying, emotionally. I wasn’t the girl he fell in love with. She was buried deep within the pain. It was a pain he didn't fully understand. He knew I was still in there but, I really needed to find her. I made a decision to make some real changes.
I was in a deep, dark, and scary depression. I sought counseling and started really talking it out. I did group and individual therapy. For awhile, I had a great web of support from friends and family. This time, when it all came crashing down, I had me, and then, just Eben and I together, as one, to weather the storm. He felt the pain too this time. It wasn’t just my crazy dysfunction. We were finally whole, and together. Eben and I did months of couples counseling to take us to the next step in our relationship, to really commit.
We’d talked about getting married and knew that whenever it happened we were going to move in a positive direction and finally just be "us." In all of my MEN-Y mistakes, Eben was the right to my wrong. And now he helps me write my wrongs.
Eben has given me the kind of love I never thought possible. Sometimes it still scares me; all of it. Sometimes I cry thinking of the pain I caused the only man who has loved me unconditionally. Sometimes I cry for the loss of time playing games and making the mistakes I did. But, now I’m just glad we escaped from all of it together, closer and better off in the end. I've gotten to the point where I'm thankful I made my mistakes.
We all have lists of regrets, things we wish we could take back…but if doing all those fucked up things and dealing with all of those fucked up men, is what brought me to my white knight, my Eben, my LOBSTER, I wouldn’t change it for the world!
To think we will have been together 6 years (give or take 6 months ;-) in October, and have been married a full year in June…I am so lucky, and I know it every single day! The one mistake I will never make, is risking my relationship with Eben ever again!
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