Someone once told me that there’s no “right time” for a
baby. There’s no “readiness” for a child. You just adapt. I guess I can see
both sides, but personally I see it differently. To me there are two choices, you
either consent to having a child, embracing the possibility, or you take the
proper precautionary measures to keep “single” life alive and kicking.
Years ago my husband and I made the agreement: kids when
we’re 30-ish. And then a couple years
later we thought, “okay we can stop being ‘cautious’ when we’re 28.” But then
this year, all of the sudden, it hit me that age 28 wasn’t so very far away
anymore. I’ll admit I had moments for the past two years where my body was
begging for babies but I’d always seemed to skirt around them. The puppy
purchase certainly helped.
Occasionally when I’m acting too baby crazy, my husband
tells me to yell at my hormones and ask them to leave us both alone, but he
scared the shit out of me at the beginning of this year when he told me he was
actually okay with the idea of us having a baby.
I’d recently given up on the whole, planning of a life
thing. Five year plans turn into 12 year plans and you’re almost never where
you thought you’d be…ever. Sometimes you just go with the flow and adapt. You
make the decision to let life happen instead of waiting for it to knock on your
door and ask for an invitation in.
And thus the “expecting” conversation happened. All of the
sudden we just weren’t afraid or feeling cautious. I think it came with the new
security we’d found with stable jobs, real paychecks and new responsibilities
and capabilities.
I’m not one of those women who can strategically plan to
conceive. I feel that takes all the fun out of it. It makes the whole thing a
chore, instead of something made out of love. I can’t even keep track of my
cycle, let alone the other things around it so we agreed: we aren’t “trying”
we’re just not trying to not try.
Don’t get excited people. Us Chriss’ believe in things
happening as they should. After many mistakes and miscalculations, we like to
make sure we aren’t in over our heads. We like to be pretty darn sure of
things. Our engagement, wedding, and move to Florida all happened out of our
sureness, not out of a fleeting idea.
We have almost been married three years and are still on our
honeymoon. We barely fight anymore. Where we once had to fight out of
frustration with every other person but each other, now we usually have a good
row now and then just to keep with the spice of life, but our fights are
miniscule compared to pre-married life. We grow, we work and we live out of
love, and so will each step forward.
You may be reading this thinking, “Oh wow, so they’re like
trying to have a baby,” but life is never that simple. Seeing as how you can’t force
something to happen and you’re never really ready, I think it’s safer to just
say…”It’s all happening.” And it’s happening at its’ own pace. We are ready but
we’re not rushing. It’ll happen when it happens. And then another blog entry
will appear about “The Happening!”
