Six months into pregnancy, I’m feeling pretty good. I have
the big old baby bump and the hormones to boot! But there’s so much that no book, no movie,
and no Google search could ever tell you about the horrors of pregnancy. And
the worst part is, it’s barely physical or mental, it’s all the outside sources
converging into one big ball of disaster.
Part One: The Shower
My friends threw me an amazing baby shower. And I had my
baby shower at the beginning of my 6th month. Why? Everyone asked, “Why
so early!?” Well, many reasons actually. The first one being, our due date is
January 30th, 2013. Who wants to wait until around the holidays when
everyone’s broke and then try and get gifts out of them? The second one, I knew
six months in I would still want to be around people in a celebratory capacity.
When I’m 8-9 months, I’ll barely want my husband around me. Why push our luck?
Thirdly, we live in Florida and October is a great month to have outdoor events
and the free place we had the amazing event allowed us to take over the patio.
It’s a win-win.
I work with most of my friends so the shower created quite a
stir. I work in a place with about 50
employees. I have a great relationship with about 30 of them. Everyone wanted
to go. We’re open 7 days a week so my girls tried to make it on an early close
evening and make it an easily accessible event. Two weeks before the shower the
drama fairies dropped glitter bombs all over. People who RSVP’d were dropping
like flies, and all of the sudden people we never thought would show up, were
definitely coming. It was slightly overwhelming! On top of that co-workers were
arguing about my shower and the schedule to accommodate everyone requesting to
go.
The shower went off without a hitch. We have some amazing
people in our lives who contributed A LOT. All of the sudden we had such an
amazing collection of things, both necessary and fun. The girls who threw my
shower are amazing and we will never be able to thank them enough!
Part Two: The Social Commentary
Everyone wants to know about your pregnancy, but what YOU
don’t want to know, is their opinion on how you’re handling things. Doctors are
one thing. Doctors are made to scare you. My doctor yelled at me for gaining
too much weight because I started to be able to physically eat. My husband
yelled back at her that he intended to feed his family and I looked beautiful.
Then my doctor scared us into flu shots, which I’m still recovering from. She
basically said that if we refused and the baby and I died, it’s not like she
didn’t warn us; such a calming picture.
What’s worse is when people ask and you tell them and then
they interject why they are right or why you are wrong. I’d been verbally
accosted throughout my pregnancy, so I was used the form of mental abuse, but
now there were other forces at bay. We’d made the executive decision to do
cloth diapers. Why? My husband was allergic to regular diapers, and with a lot
of help and advice from a co-worker and his wife I found out that I’d save an
obscene amount of money with just a little bit of help. When someone asked
about diapers and I told them cloth I got two adverse reactions. One saying, “Oh,
that won’t last long,” and another saying, “Cloth? Ugh! What a pain!” I’d
learned then that this “hippie” idea may not easily be reveled in.
Then there’s insurance. Everyone wants to know what kind of
insurance you have if you have it. At this point I know so much better than to
even reveal that part of our lives, but I’ll tell you this: it’s OUR BUSINESS.
There are far worse off people in this universe than us, and what we do or do
not have, whether coverage is great or crappy or nonexistent, we KNOW WHAT WE
ARE DOING. This baby girl was NOT A SURPRISE. We entered into this amazing journey
knowing that we could handle ANYTHING because that’s what we do and WHO WE ARE.
No matter what, this baby girl will be LOVED and will NEVER go without the
basic necessities in this world. EVER!
And of course, there’s the name. Up until last year my heart
was set on naming any female of mine Lillian. But then when we were discussing
boy and girl names and my husband threw out the name Luna. The middle name was
easier. He came up with infusing both of our father’s middle names together
into Raylee: unique and gorgeous. And so we had Luna Raylee Chriss. And that’s
when the jokes came in. Look, every child will be teased but everyone just
hopped on the point, “Wait, you’re naming your child, Luna Chriss?” Some of my
favorite people didn’t get it right away. But then it sinks in, it sounds like ludicrous.
But what’s so ludicrous? Naming our baby
girl something like Luna Raylee Chriss? Or naming our child something ordinary
or trendy? She’s ours and she’ll wear that name with pride. So laugh all you
want but our child will be amazing because she is OURS!
Part Three: The Gross Anatomy of Pregnancy: What the books
don’t tell you!
Pregnancy is beautiful yes, but here’s what the books never
admit: Your boobs grow to porn star proportions. It’s alarming and not
charming. They itch and they’re sore so even though your husband wants a little
boob time, if he comes near you, you’ll slap him away. Your ankles at one
point, no longer exist and you do in fact get the ever dreaded “cankles.” It’s
not a good day.
Bending down in any way becomes something out of a science
fiction novel. Either you’re getting yelled at for not squatting or your knees
bump the belly or the belly bumps other things. It’s so awkward. Your hormones
are so out of hand you feel bipolar. You’ll be crying and then laughing and
then crying. Forgetfulness plays a large
part too, so odds are you’ll forget if you were laughing, why you were. You’ll
forget something that just happened 10 seconds ago.
The gas is out of this world. It’s not even the smell, it’s
the activity. You’re a walking whoopee cushion. You’re just one big ball of
bloat and gas. And I think I saw the hints of a double chin in some photos:
scary!
The bottom line is that pregnancy is definitely an adventure
in more ways than one. You’d be surprised who comes out of the woodwork to
surprise you with love and support and sometimes gifts! Then again it can stir
a dirty jealousy in people. Some people, people we’ve had into our home, fed
and helped out, have treated me like a chubby leper! No “Congratulations,” no
card, no gift, no acknowledgement! But a high school friend you haven’t even
seen for four years will pleasantly surprise you and send you an expensive gift
off of our registry.
Pregnancy is tough. It’s not easy in any way. But it is a
gift. Some people enter into it hastily. Others enter into it accidentally. If
you’re like us, you enter into it knowing it will change your lives for the
better and take you into a realm you never thought possible. And everything
they don’t tell you, you’ll come to easily. And everything people do tell you,
you’ll learn to tune out. Just remember: it’s about you, your partner and the
life you’re nourishing. Keep that in mind and all these other stressors just
kind of…fade away!
