One of my all time favorite Keanu Reeves characters was his
supporting role in the film “Parenthood,” which has an all star cast and
definitely covers some of the craziness of parenting, but also contains my
favorite quote: “ Ya know, they make you get a license to drive a car, to catch
a fish, hell they’ll even make you get a license to buy a dog…but they’ll let
any butt-reaming asshole be a father…”
Luckily, the man in my life is ANYTHING but a butt-reaming
asshole, but we certainly don’t want to be complete fuck ups in our role as
parents. As if the whole pregnancy thing isn’t strange and terrifying as it is,
next you’ve got parents asking you all about your plans for bringing up baby.
I was just hoping to read some baby books, maybe get some
DVDs, get through the actual labor and then step into mom-hood. But now I have
people asking if I’ve started interviewing pediatricians!? I realize we have
control here but seriously? Wow…
Perhaps I’ve underestimated the greatness of the whole baby
thing, but what about who WE are as prospective parents? My husband and I are
pretty laid back. We’re healthy people who love our food, wine and spirits. We
love our relaxation, our work and our play. And we love that we’re having this
baby.
Sure we’ll take the baby in for check-up, to get shots and
all the normal baby stuff, but we’re not research and interview pediatrician
people. We’re barely long term planners! How about referral? How about it
depends on the level of healthcare we have for baby at that time. How about we
need to set up the nursery? How about we can’t afford to freak about these
things!?
Time is already flying, as it does, and as the hormones go
wild I continue to have overwhelming moments of “this is a life changing thing,”
realization, shouldn’t we just be allowed to be? One of my last blogs I wrote
about enjoying the journey. Will society allow us to do that?
If I could tune out the clatter, I would. TRUST ME. I enjoy
the excitement part, it’s just the questions, and then the “have you’s?,”
implying that you haven’t done enough yet. It is my personal opinion that you
can have too much information. I’m enough of a worrier. I’m trying to take the
whole pregnancy and parenting thing one step at a time. I’m trying to keep calm
and carry on.
As hormones and emotions run high, I have to wonder why
people keep pressing me!? Am I overly sensitive or are people just insensitive
assholes? I think it may be a combination of the two. Can’t I just try the
instinctual motherly thing to get me by? I’ve always promised myself I would
try with every fiber of my being to be a good mother. Here I am, facing the
challenge, with an amazing man by my side, and I just want to live day by day.
One day at a time.
Why obsess over the little things we can’t control when we’ll
have the ultimate parental control? This amazing little being will come into
our lives and change everything in the best way ever and you want us to obsess
about laundry detergents, preschool, pediatricians, what brand of food, and
formula? No thank you. I just want to be with my man, my baby and my dog. I
just want us to be a family.
Sure, some families aren’t always perfect and some guys won’t
be good fathers as some women will be wretched mothers but in this realm of
parental control, I’m just glad I have a front row seat. We’ll learn as we go.
We’ll all learn as we all grow. So why get all controlling and overly cautious
when you can just enjoy the ride and the journey. I’ve said it before and I’ll
say it again. This is us, and we’ve come a long way. Nothing will get in the
way now. If you want to share a great family story, please do. If you want to
tell me how to be a parent, please don’t. My hormonal side is growing less and
less patient. And in these last few months, I tend to grasp every single
amazing moment I can.
