Post-divorce in January, I dove into all walks of healing head first. I kept myself scheduled and busy with personal therapy, CODA meetings, work, working out as much as I could, learning about cooking, budgeting for single-hood, and keeping my daughter as busy and distracted as possible, all while trying to be completely empathetic that I just changed her entire world.
Before I knew, along came March and I had plans galore. I was extremely not into any idea of celebrating my birthday as it was, and then...Coronavirus. Coronavirus was the news since after Christmas, but early 2020 was reported as being mostly in China. By St. Patrick's Day it came to the U.S. along with toilet paper hoarding, grocery insanity, and creepy levels of panicking public.
After living through Hurricane Irma, the freaked out Floridians don't phase me, but this was a new level of weird. Once they shut down schools, then the daycare programs, I took the kid into the office with me and said, "I'm taking my PC and setting up at home." I didn't leave it for much of a discussion. That was my out and I took it.
Since then, I've been home and honestly completely loving it. All those memes that say, "I was social distancing before it was cool," are so very much me. Don't get me wrong, I love a good girls night out and dinner out and time away, but definitely not as much as I love being home alone in my space. Now this is truly my space.
The divorce has actually allowed me to be alone, and in a safe place, which is a new luxury I never thought possible. I've had to become careful about how to redistribute my time. I only had a few nights free and never a full day to myself. The pandemic quickly changed that and I had time to accomplish things, many things in face.
House projects are always a thing when you're a homeowner and having the time and space to create and accomplish, and the safety of doing it with no judgement or criticism was huge. And thus the projects and ideas began.
I used a grout pen on all my tile floors after failing at grout scrubbing. I built a cinder-block staircase after having the deck ripped out from the screened in porch to the yard. I reorganized and deep cleaned. I started reaching out to people I'd lost touch with and had real conversations, which led to blessings of hand me downs that gave me other projects. I repurposed what we had on hand and just kept reinventing my space.
I recently discovered the joys of spray paint. I fully understand why graffiti is a thing. I made two nightstands for my bedroom out of what my friend called "curb treasures." This means something someone leaves to go to the trash but you turn into your own personal treasure and grab it from said curb. The whole project was fun for my daughter and I as we got pretty creative with it.
I'd hoarded this tile from a previous employer convinced one day I would use it. Turns out I was correct. That tile gave me a perfectly quiet morning and my daughter was super into making her nightstand for mommy's room really cool looking. I love so much that she made me a treasure.
A friend of mine is giving me more treasures and hand me downs, hence more projects to come. I'm both incredibly excited and, true to form, anxious about getting it all here and set up, although it's an amazing distraction from life's current stresses.
I took a hand me down IKEA desk we'd been using in the kitchen, dragged the kid to Lowe's and we got spray paint and a few other things. We'd take it from white to a kind of deep blue and I'd have a real desk and work space instead of my dining room table.
Next, I began the hunt for an office chair. I'm not much for Facebook anymore, especially in the wake of recent drama with my ex-husband but my office cell phone has a social media account so I use that one to shop on Marketplace. I found an office chair in my town and talked them down to $15, which was a killer price! Go me!
Well, such as life, the seller just never messaged back and took the listing down. Onto the next search and behold, I unearthed a cute thrift shop in the next town over that had 3 options and in my price range! I just so happened to have time to go grab one on my lunch break I was excited. It's the little things anymore.
I never go anywhere without GPS. I get lost so easily and get very anxious in unknown territory so even though I kind of knew where I was going, I put the address in. I had a mental picture of what area and my GPS ended up routing me this weird and winding way. I kept thinking to myself, "Why is it taking me this way."
I turned into a neighborhood and I saw something on the side of the road! I saw a white filing drawer or perhaps a discarded part of a desk set, just sitting on the curb. I got excited and thought it would fit my big ass office printer perfectly. I didn't stop, but instead kept driving. I told myself, okay the chair is more important so go grab that first, come back the exact way and if it's still there, just grab it!
I went and bought a faded pink office chair that could make me feel tall for $15 and tossed it in my SUV. I found the exact way back and the 3-drawer white furniture piece was still there. I pulled over, put my flashers on and went to grab it! YAY! Curb treasure! What an awesome Wednesday, right?
It was in relatively good shape. I got it close to the car and it was just heavy and awkward enough I just couldn't do it alone. Cars were slowly passing me. I was looking around the neighborhood kind of like "Uhhh, anybody?" Then I reminded myself that I was always much stronger than I thought, but also it wouldn't be the end of the world if I didn't take it home. It was then as I tried once last time to muscle it by myself, that a nice older woman on her walk said, "Would you like some help with that? I don't think you can get that in your car by yourself."
Of course I welcomed her kindness and made sure she wasn't about to hurt herself or have me hurting myself and we did it! She was so kind and I got back in my car, sweaty and smiling with two, new to me treasures and suddenly all of the weird vibes from the past week, hell from the past few months, flew out the window.
These times are strange and we're without the comfort and distraction of going to the gym, events and gatherings with friends. I guess I needed the reminder that there were still great people, strangers nonetheless, around to be supportive and helpful. To be clear, I've felt no shortage of support in the divorce arena and have texted and chatted with friends none stop. I've renewed some old relationships that have literally been a saving grace for me, and I've really grown into even better relationships with other friends this year. I think I needed a reminder that the world wasn't as broken as it looked on the news.
My random curb treasure helper just reminded me that we may never go back to "normal" but some semblances of normal are still around. It was also another affirmation that I belong at home with my new home office set up!
In more fun I still had an extra can of spray paint I was going to return but I covered that baby right up to match! My neighbor helped me get it into the garage but I got it up and into the house this morning all by myself like the warrior I am.
Staying busy and having projects feels like my next phase in healing, with the proper soundtrack of course. And having a real office set up feels like my next phase of a pandemic. No matter what the world brings, at least I can turn curb trash to curb treasure with a little help from a stranger, a neighbor, and all the spray paint!
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