Okay, so in my years of trying to be precious with my old best friend, Zane, I used to claim that he was my first boyfriend. Zane and I are exactly 4 months apart, and as babies we used to play. We were more or less inseparable during the times we were together. There happens to be one important and quite classic picture of us in diapers on the porch hugging. Ahhh, first love!
Probably a more realistic version of my first boyfriend, as memory served, would be Bradley. He was a year older - I always did like older men - we met during Pre-School. I gave him my E.T. stuffed animal because I loved him oh-so-much. We even went to the beach and camping together, or so we recall. We only broke up because he moved…and you know, we couldn’t do the long distance thing. He still has my E.T. doll.
My first grade boyfriend was James. I remember he was allergic to bees, but braved his mother’s garden to get me flowers once. Between our two families we went to the beach a few times, and even went to the Baltimore Aquarium together. We were close, until I switch schools.
In 3rd or 4th grade there was Rick. Rick gave me an “I love you” bracelet. It was one of those plastic and elastic things that came around some stuffed love-bug or bear’s neck. The “I love you” washed off the plastic heart when I washed my hands, almost as fast as we decided not to be boyfriend-girlfriend after all. I think we separated on pretty good terms.
From then on I pretty much ended up in the “friend zone” with men. For a long time, I thought it was cool. I seemed to have all the guys as my buddies, therefore I wasn’t seen as girlfriend material. It never really bothered me. I liked having guy friends; they were funny! Then, however, I entered high school, and with all the dances and social situations, one often needed to have a bona-fide “date.”
By the time I got around to asking, any of the cute guys were either already taken or just didn’t really want to go to the dances at all. I had one "official date" for homecoming of my sophomore year and he was sweet, pimply, and seemed to be pretty enamored of me. The kid would barely let me go to the bathroom, let alone do anything else that night. He was not my kind of guy but he was kind and showed me a good time so, the night was more or less a success.
After that I moved away from my Catholic School upbringing and entered the torrid environment of public schooling in Florida. After a year of sports, I'd managed to rid myself of all my “baby-fat." I’d apparently stumbled into being attractive. I got my first job at Target and met a guy. I was 16 and he was 20. Jonathan had his own apartment and was a sweet talker. We hung out for like 2 months. I started to get the feeling I wasn’t the only Target employee he was hanging around with and he got frustrated with the fact that I kept our relationship at a simplistic level. When I wouldn’t give him what he wanted, he ended it and then shortly after, he got into a lot of trouble for stealing things from the Target stockroom. I should have realized then, I go after the completely wrong men.
Yup, I pick winners. Sometimes I think that the only way I can have real relationships with guys is to keep it platonic. I used to have so many awesome guy friends and I mean actual "friends" but when I got to high school in Florida, everything changed. I’d just gotten used to that fact that I actually liked my body. It was kind of unexplored territory, discovering that guys found me attractive.
I started getting major crushes on guys after that. There were a few cuties here and there but somehow after the thieving, older man first-dating experience, my men-choices became relatively self-destructive. Not only did I never hook any real “boyfriends,” but I started to go after terminally unattainable guys.
I had a crush on this one guy in my Physics class and he came over to my house for a party once. After one too many Smirnoff Ice’s, I threw myself at him and he completely rejected me. After that I just stuck to the art of flirting. And then, one of the guys finally came to me.
I joined the Drama club and there were a few cuties but, in all actuality, most of those guys probably ended up on the other team. There was this one guy, though, that totally fell for me. I wasn’t instantly attracted to him, but the fact that he thought of me as something special was quite the aphrodisiac. What wasn’t a turn-on, was the fact that he had a girlfriend…in another state. Still though, we engaged in secret flirtations, talked online a lot, and made quite the private relationship. When his girlfriend arrived to see the Drama club play, I knew it was best to just walk away. Once I saw the girl that I’d more or less, betrayed, and she was none-the-wiser, I was no longer around just for his entertainment. So I went after one of his friends, who happened to be the lead in the play.
Now that I think about this whole scenario, and the sequence of events, I realize it’s pretty messed up. All of it! But, in the midst of what could have become some serious Drama club drama, I moved again. I was back, again, to the West Coast. Safely under the supervision of my father, I retired from any kind of dating scene…at least for the summer before my senior year.
Senior year was tough and I only made a small grouping of friends. I only needed four classes to graduate and I didn’t really get involved in any clubs. One day I met two guys, also new to South Eugene, Alex and Kevin. With having become the "odd ones out" as our thing we had in common, we clicked.
Kevin and I lived in the same part of town, were the same age, liked the same music and were both living with our fathers’ under protest. Alex hated his home life and liked being with us. We made quite the “gang.”
Kevin and I had a minor flirtation between us, but I was dug deep into the “friend zone” with him. He went after one of my "hot," girl buddies who rejected him because she knew I had a thing for him. One day we were snuggled up watching a movie and we kissed. I fell for him hard. He was my first love, but he did not love me back...at all. Even though we were inseparable, his parents loved me, my dad thought he was great, and people already thought we were dating, he never made it official. I started harassing him about prom and he kept saying “maybe.”
Then, on Valentine’s Day, I arrived at school to find my locker adorned in flowers with balloons and a note inside with a corny computer graphic of a high school couple at a formal dancing, and it read, “Will you go to prom with me? – Kevin.” I was floating on air. It was the best day ever; so romantic! That weekend he went to help me pick out my prom dress and told me his parents were giving us money for dinner and a limo. It was going to be the senior prom I’d always dreamed of. I was so happy.
A month before prom Kevin started dating a tall, big-boobed, freshman, basketball player. It didn’t seem too serious with them and he kept hanging out with me so I tucked my jealousy and hurt feelings far away. Plus, his parents hated her, what chance could she have? Two weeks before prom a mutual friend grabbed me in the hall and told me that I should find another date for prom…Kevin had decided to take Amber, his new girlfriend, instead of me. It broke me. It was one of those moments from a movie where everything just falls apart and some sad song plays in the background.
After that, we were never the same. I managed to forgive him, but we were barely friends. I started hanging out with some of his guy friends to prove I was over him and then I reconnected with someone who would change my life and my relationships with men forever. Kevin moved away a year after high school and I never heard from him again. I hear he’s married with a kid and found Jesus. Good for him!
Right around my 19th birthday I found my “first boyfriend,” Zane, again. He lived in Oregon and was moving to Eugene with his buddies to go to college. His Aunt, cousins, and his mom pushed for us to, at least, hang out a few times and possible forge a friendship. It was a success.
Zane, Mike, Eben, Josh and Scott moved from Medford to Eugene and changed my life forever. Zane was admittedly adorable, but totally into his ex-girlfriend, who was also moving to Eugene. Mike was cool and funny. Scott was tall and eccentric, and then there was Eben. He was a giant, red-headed, teddy bear, and the oldest in the house, Josh, was older, punk rock, and could buy us alcohol.
We all started hanging out because we lived 3 blocks apart. It didn’t take long for me to grab one. Unfortunately, true to form and bad habits, I picked Josh. Josh had the older man thing going for him, and he had a life story, a dysfunctional family and tattoos. He was mysterious…I later found out, it was in all the wrong ways.
I ended up spending a lot of my time paying for Josh and I to have a relationship: dinners, concerts, getting him to and from Medford. He lived with his grandparents, who had a lot of medical problems, and was in Medford a lot to take care of them. He was never that nice to me, but never that mean at the same time. Every once in awhile though, I thought he was lying to me or making things up. There was one day that he was acting a little too familiar – in ways I’d learned about first hand, after living with my mother. I started telling him he was making me uncomfortable and that it was kind of a déjà-vu situation.
Josh immediately got defensive and started getting really upset. The next day I came over to the house in between my two jobs and school to bring Josh food and I found him flirting with an unattractive and slutty friend of the neighbor. It was a little too suspicious. I pulled him aside to talk about it and he just got annoyed and acted as though I was crazy. After making up story after story and his borrowing dollar after dollar, one night we got into it and he started a screaming match. He raised his hand to me; I thought he was going to hit me but he held back.
The whole house heard him yelling at me…I think he knew he’d never escape unscathed if he touched me.
A week later I somehow ended up taking care of his little brother, staying at his house while he was in Medford. After that I left for a week to go visit my friends in Florida. Josh dropped me off at the Portland airport. I was gone the same time that my dad was out of town as well, and he said it was okay for Josh to borrow the car while I was gone. We barely spoke while I was away. I had a great time and pretended Josh and I had a good relationship the whole time I was in Florida.
The day I flew home, Josh was supposed to pick me up at the airport. When I got there, he was nowhere to be found. He didn’t have a cell phone, and his Grandparents had no idea where he was. He was more or less MIA. I called Eben and Mike franticly. I could have called my sister but it was too embarrassing. Four hours later, with Mike and Eben halfway there, Josh just appeared, and was then pissed off at me because he’d been searching for me for 30min.
He put me in the car-which was filthy- and had Eben’s dog, Harley, running around in it and told me that things were bad in Medford, and he’d be moving back there. He also told me that the guys in the house had turned against him and kicked him out of the house, and out of the band. He made it sound like I should hate them too but my heart was with the boys. I was going to stay out of it. He took me home, I fed Harley, he spent the night and then asked if he could borrow the car for two days to tie up loose ends in Medford.
Of course I said yes. I could ride my bike to work, no problem. That night he told me he loved me. I said it too, unsure, of if I even meant it. The next morning he left. I walked over to the house to give Zane, Mike, Eben and Scott the silly shot glasses, key chains and Florida touristy stuff I’d picked up for them on my trip. Scott started off on some stuff about Josh stealing from people, and I didn’t know what to say.
I went up to Mike and Eben’s room and they told me what happened: Josh had lied to us all – he’d had a severe pill problem. He’d been buying and stealing pain pills from the neighbor, stealing money from his roommates to get it, lied about any, and every job he had, and had run to Medford to stay off the radar. He tried to steal Harley the pug, and had put his little brother in the middle of it. Worst of all, he had duped me into giving him too much money-which the guys never knew about until that day- and now he had my car.
Mike and Eben drove me to Medford to get my car. This time the bumper stickers came in handy. My dad was away this whole time. I almost had to report the Echo stolen. But then we found him. Eben knew all of Josh’s hiding places, and we found him and Harley at his mom’s house. I told him to give me the car and the keys, and Eben took the dog. Poor Michael, Josh’s little brother, had come to be quite close to me and looked at me with concern. He asked “Alison, what’s happening? What’s wrong?” I looked and said “It’s fine Michael, get in the house, I need to talk to your brother.”
I don’t even really remember what I said but I couldn’t even look at him. I remember yelling about him lying to me and about him acting as though my actions were so rash. I told him I almost reported the car stolen. I was in tears, mostly mad at myself. I left and never saw him again.
That night I just wanted to see Zane. He’d gone home to be with his parents in the wake of all the drama. He didn’t really want to see me, or now that I think about it he didn’t want to at all. His then-kind-of-girlfriend, Veronica, gave me intense chocolate cookies to accompany me on my tearful journey home.
The next day I had to break the news to my father. I also found letters in my trunk from Josh. They were for everyone in the house…but not a single one was for me. All of them were apologies…and I didn’t get one. The only thing my dad said was that he hoped that after all of it, I didn’t lose faith in people as a whole. I was pretty broken. I wanted to stay away from guys…for a long time.
But, a month later, the best thing ever happened. Eben and I had always been best friends. He was always great to me. I felt safe with him. Then one night, after grabbing some movies and hanging out, he kissed me. At first it was weird. I didn’t know if we could take the relationship there.
Apparently he’d loved me since he met me, and wanted to make sure no one else stole me away. The whole house was excited for us to be together, believing that we both deserved some happiness. We started dating and made it for about 6 months before I got a little freaked. This was my first big relationship with meaning. We had some serious speed-bumps and potholes in our way. We were so young, but he stuck with me and I put everything into being good to him.
I’ll be honest, I messed up a lot. I picked fights that were irrelevant, I put too many other people before him, and I let other people interfere in our relationship but the love was always there – still is! We made it a little over a year and then—here is something you may not know: After One Down Enough lost their bass player to a Yoko Ono type, Eben and I broke up for 6 months. That’s right! Eben and I had this great relationship but when Mike left the band, the house and his best friend, Eben, all to be with his new love, it shook us all.
Eben and I decided that if we couldn’t be friends after dating, we couldn’t be together at all. So we pulled a “Ross,” a very “Friends”-esque situation and took a “break.” Eben dated one chick a little bit and I dated someone new as well.
I met Brady through Zane – another red flag - so far only one guy I met through Zane worked out, even Zane and I as friends ended tragic and dramatically! Anyway, Brady was tall, lanky, handsome and kind of a preppy kid. He was way out of my league but somehow I’d attracted him to me.
Brady took me on actual dates. Eben always did too, but Eben was the first. I didn’t know this was common with other guys. Brady picked me flowers, bought me dinners, drinks, let me control the remote, hang with his friends, all of it. He was sweet. But he got mad about the silliest things. In my effort to play everything right and avoid the games guys play, I guess things kind of went awry.
Brady had a psycho ex-girlfriend who called my phone and wanted to be friends. Brady would get drunk and be totally into me, then the next day, put me down. He didn’t want to take our relationship anywhere because he thought I was still attached to Eben. In some ways, I totally still was, but Brady never even gave us a real chance. Then, one night, his friends psyched me up to make him forget his psycho-ex that they all hated, and go reel in Brady. Brady had a lot to drink. I was going to stay over at his place but instead Brady told me I was a complete waste of time and he wished we’d never met. I left and decided I was done with the bullshit.
One of his friends asked what happened and I said, “For all intents and purposes we broke up.” I was well aware I was never his girlfriend but after three months of hanging out that’s what it felt like. Brady called me the next day, acted like nothing happened, said he didn’t remember saying that to me and then got annoyed I actually said the words, “broke up” about our relationship. He seemed to still want to hang out but I wasn’t into it.
True to form I ended up dating his friend for two weeks. His friend was apparently into me and I kinda thought he was cute too. Matt was the worst kisser ever! I should have known better. He also liked to parade the fact that I said we could hang out, in front of Brady. It was fun at first but then it got old, and so did being around Matt. He really liked me. He called me, text me all the time, and always wanted to hang out. I liked the idea of Matt, but we didn’t mesh well. Truthfully, I missed Eben.
Then I found out that Matt had bragged to Brady and the rest of Zane’s co-workers about his relationship with me, therefore I told a completely different story, out of pure anger and disgust that I’d managed to pick another, typical, shitty guy.
Eben and I started hanging out and talking about what we wanted. And we wanted each other. Two months later we made it official again, on what we call our “fake-iversary.” We had three perfect months together before we hit our next bump, which was my fault – as per usual. We bounced back okay.
Eben and I have always struggled well together, sharing battle wounds. We had a tumultuous two years after that. We got back together in January, moved in together in April or May, I left for London for three months in August, and came back late November. The time apart allowed me to heal. I’d unraveled myself into mess after mess. The only consistency in my life was the fact that Eben occasionally rolled me back into one piece again.
When I got home things got crazy. School was intense, friendships were more so, and my relationship with my family was all over the board. Between my Grandmother, my mother and my relationship with Zane, things were constantly throwing me for a loop. Eben stood by my fits, my self-destruction, and my wavering self esteem, always there to be my rock.
After 2008, a terrible year, the beginning of 2009 taking a turn for the worse, Eben and I reached a crossroads. Eben knew I was dying, emotionally. I wasn’t the girl he fell in love with. She was buried deep within the pain. It was a pain he didn't fully understand. He knew I was still in there but, I really needed to find her. I made a decision to make some real changes.
I was in a deep, dark, and scary depression. I sought counseling and started really talking it out. I did group and individual therapy. For awhile, I had a great web of support from friends and family. This time, when it all came crashing down, I had me, and then, just Eben and I together, as one, to weather the storm. He felt the pain too this time. It wasn’t just my crazy dysfunction. We were finally whole, and together. Eben and I did months of couples counseling to take us to the next step in our relationship, to really commit.
We’d talked about getting married and knew that whenever it happened we were going to move in a positive direction and finally just be "us." In all of my MEN-Y mistakes, Eben was the right to my wrong. And now he helps me write my wrongs.
Eben has given me the kind of love I never thought possible. Sometimes it still scares me; all of it. Sometimes I cry thinking of the pain I caused the only man who has loved me unconditionally. Sometimes I cry for the loss of time playing games and making the mistakes I did. But, now I’m just glad we escaped from all of it together, closer and better off in the end. I've gotten to the point where I'm thankful I made my mistakes.
We all have lists of regrets, things we wish we could take back…but if doing all those fucked up things and dealing with all of those fucked up men, is what brought me to my white knight, my Eben, my LOBSTER, I wouldn’t change it for the world!
To think we will have been together 6 years (give or take 6 months ;-) in October, and have been married a full year in June…I am so lucky, and I know it every single day! The one mistake I will never make, is risking my relationship with Eben ever again!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Ben Harper and the Relentless 7 Rocked the Ritz Ybor on May Day!
To start off May, and end their tour, Ben Harper and the Relentless 7 came to the Ritz Ybor to rock his fans and melt our faces before continuing on to play a few festivals this summer. I hadn’t seen Ben Harper since just before he and the Innocent Criminals took off in 2003, touring and making albums like “Diamonds on the Inside.” Saturday May 1st, 2010 Ben was back with his new band and a completely evolved sound.
As a huge Ben Harper fan, I can tell you I’ve followed him for years. He won me over with “Burn to Shine,” I backtracked into “Pleasure and Pain,” “Welcome to the Cruel World” and “The Will to Live,” and was hooked waiting for the release of “Diamonds On the Inside.” When “Both Sides of the Gun” and “There will be Light” came out, I was already in love. I’d only heard bits and pieces of his work with Relentless 7, but I knew I was in for an amazing night.
To open up the evening the crowd met Alberta Cross. On disc they seemed a bit too whiny but live they were really entertaining and brought a certain stage presence with them that the audience loved. As a Ben Harper fan put it, they were “like Black Crowes and Kings of Leon met and had a baby and produced this.” The lead must have channeled some Jack White to make for his gestures and his aura while singing. The crowd was filling in while rocking to Alberta Cross’s beats waiting for Ben Harper and the Relentless 7.
Outside the Ritz Ybor I heard it was going to be a three hour set. I thought it may have included the opening band but I wouldn’t put it past Ben Harper to play himself, his band, and his audience into beautiful exhaustion.
Around 10pm Ben and the Relentless7 took the stage. The crowd went wild and everyone was dancing, hooting, hollering and staring hypnotically in awe of the musicians. Ben switched guitars with almost every new song – he had acoustic, electric, and lap guitars galore. Every time he transitioned from one instrument to another his fans seemed to get more and more anxious to see what he would do next.
He played every note and sang every tune with such intensity that he kept his eyes mostly closed while playing, as if to stay completely centered with the music. He rocked so hard that three songs in he was drenched with sweat, which prompted the ladies of the crowd to yell for him to “take it off!” He mentioned in the Creative Loafing interview with Leilani Polk that the chemistry and dynamic with the Relentless 7 was so “organic.” This was something made very clear as the show progressed all night. Harper also mentioned that the album and the music made the band and that the band didn’t just create the music. This was evident as well.
He shocked a few fans by not only playing most of the songs off of “White Lies for Dark Times,” but by revisiting some of his work with The Innocent Criminals and his earlier albums. He opened up with “Diamonds on the Inside,” later played “Amen Omen,” and “Better Way.” “Boots Like These,” “Number with No Name,” “Feel Love,” and “Why Must You Always Dress in Black” were big crowd pleasers from his latest work.
He was able to take the fans up, rocking loud and really grooving with them, and bring ‘em back down into slower songs, easing into the next big jam session. The Relentless 7 wowed on the drums, guitar and bass, perfectly complementing Ben’s every whim, note and move. Just when you thought the song was over, or a musical moment had ceased, they blasted out a tune roping everyone back in.
It was a spiritual kind of performance. Ben Harper and his band had developed a new kind of sound, much harder than that of “Both Sides of the Gun.” While some could feel Ben is a somber, low key kind of musician, with the Relentless 7 he is raw, empowering and demands that the music truly moves the listener. An audience member claimed that this was his only album you could really dance to, and everyone else seemed to agree. Standing still was not an option.
After two hours…it seemed like the three hour set rumor was very true and we still had quite the musical journey ahead of us. Around midnight they closed the evening. Ben reappeared for a slow solo encore, bringing a few fans to tears, then left again to be beckoned back onto stage with the band for an amazing finale. To finish on his lap guitar, not only did he take his solo to another level but was able to balance his metal finger slide in such a way to create a sound that was paired with his finger beats on the base of the guitar to sound like a heartbeat. This made for an ominous end to the evening.
Picks, drumsticks, set lists, and then even his metal finger slide were given to his fans. Harper thanked the crowd profusely for being such a wonderful audience. It was an epic evening, to say the least. Ben Harper and the Relentless 7 were very much – pun-intended – relentless in pleasing their fans and making the ending of their tour at the Ritz Ybor, something to remember. After three hours, they left the crowd wanting more, and waiting in anticipation for the release of their next album. Everyone seemed to be happy that he was “Relentless Ben.”
As a huge Ben Harper fan, I can tell you I’ve followed him for years. He won me over with “Burn to Shine,” I backtracked into “Pleasure and Pain,” “Welcome to the Cruel World” and “The Will to Live,” and was hooked waiting for the release of “Diamonds On the Inside.” When “Both Sides of the Gun” and “There will be Light” came out, I was already in love. I’d only heard bits and pieces of his work with Relentless 7, but I knew I was in for an amazing night.
To open up the evening the crowd met Alberta Cross. On disc they seemed a bit too whiny but live they were really entertaining and brought a certain stage presence with them that the audience loved. As a Ben Harper fan put it, they were “like Black Crowes and Kings of Leon met and had a baby and produced this.” The lead must have channeled some Jack White to make for his gestures and his aura while singing. The crowd was filling in while rocking to Alberta Cross’s beats waiting for Ben Harper and the Relentless 7.
Outside the Ritz Ybor I heard it was going to be a three hour set. I thought it may have included the opening band but I wouldn’t put it past Ben Harper to play himself, his band, and his audience into beautiful exhaustion.
Around 10pm Ben and the Relentless7 took the stage. The crowd went wild and everyone was dancing, hooting, hollering and staring hypnotically in awe of the musicians. Ben switched guitars with almost every new song – he had acoustic, electric, and lap guitars galore. Every time he transitioned from one instrument to another his fans seemed to get more and more anxious to see what he would do next.
He played every note and sang every tune with such intensity that he kept his eyes mostly closed while playing, as if to stay completely centered with the music. He rocked so hard that three songs in he was drenched with sweat, which prompted the ladies of the crowd to yell for him to “take it off!” He mentioned in the Creative Loafing interview with Leilani Polk that the chemistry and dynamic with the Relentless 7 was so “organic.” This was something made very clear as the show progressed all night. Harper also mentioned that the album and the music made the band and that the band didn’t just create the music. This was evident as well.
He shocked a few fans by not only playing most of the songs off of “White Lies for Dark Times,” but by revisiting some of his work with The Innocent Criminals and his earlier albums. He opened up with “Diamonds on the Inside,” later played “Amen Omen,” and “Better Way.” “Boots Like These,” “Number with No Name,” “Feel Love,” and “Why Must You Always Dress in Black” were big crowd pleasers from his latest work.
He was able to take the fans up, rocking loud and really grooving with them, and bring ‘em back down into slower songs, easing into the next big jam session. The Relentless 7 wowed on the drums, guitar and bass, perfectly complementing Ben’s every whim, note and move. Just when you thought the song was over, or a musical moment had ceased, they blasted out a tune roping everyone back in.
It was a spiritual kind of performance. Ben Harper and his band had developed a new kind of sound, much harder than that of “Both Sides of the Gun.” While some could feel Ben is a somber, low key kind of musician, with the Relentless 7 he is raw, empowering and demands that the music truly moves the listener. An audience member claimed that this was his only album you could really dance to, and everyone else seemed to agree. Standing still was not an option.
After two hours…it seemed like the three hour set rumor was very true and we still had quite the musical journey ahead of us. Around midnight they closed the evening. Ben reappeared for a slow solo encore, bringing a few fans to tears, then left again to be beckoned back onto stage with the band for an amazing finale. To finish on his lap guitar, not only did he take his solo to another level but was able to balance his metal finger slide in such a way to create a sound that was paired with his finger beats on the base of the guitar to sound like a heartbeat. This made for an ominous end to the evening.
Picks, drumsticks, set lists, and then even his metal finger slide were given to his fans. Harper thanked the crowd profusely for being such a wonderful audience. It was an epic evening, to say the least. Ben Harper and the Relentless 7 were very much – pun-intended – relentless in pleasing their fans and making the ending of their tour at the Ritz Ybor, something to remember. After three hours, they left the crowd wanting more, and waiting in anticipation for the release of their next album. Everyone seemed to be happy that he was “Relentless Ben.”
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
When in Margaritaville, Do as the Parrotheads Do
Jimmy Buffet and the Coral Reefer Band took over the Ford Amphitheatre on Saturday April 24, 2010, and it was an electrifying experience, to say the least. I completely underestimated the size of the venue, and the intensity with which the Jimmy Buffet fans, or “Parrotheads” as they tend to be called, celebrate the concert occasion.
I’ve seen tailgating…but there are no words to describe the festivities in action just on the way to park for the show. You must just watch and take it in. Grass skirts, coconut bras, on women and men, parrot, shark, cheeseburger, and straw hats decorated every which way you could see. There were mardi-gra-like beads, tiki shirts, silky surf tops, board shorts, sun dresses and Jimmy Buffet shirts too. Everyone was drinking something, whether it was Landshark beers, margaritas, or drinks out of coconuts and pineapples. Buffet songs were blasted on too many car stereos to count. The place was packed with Parrotheads.
As soon as people started filling in, beach balls were bouncing all over the lawn section and the seated area. Before the show two roadie-looking characters in board shirts and sleeveless tops came out to entertain the crowd with a t-shirt shooter and a backpack that was an extendable palm-tree-shaped basketball net for fans to try and shoot hoops in.
For the beginning of his “Under the Big Top” tour series, Buffet chose Tampa, and his fans clearly appreciated it. The lawn looked as if it was standing room only and the audience in the seated section seemed ready to dance. With drinks in hand and smiles on faces, the Parrotheads were ready to welcome Buffet onto the stage.
Jimmy Buffet and the Coral Reefer Band appeared and the party began. Behind his big band was a huge LCD screen with beach scenes and landscapes, occasionally sharing footage from Buffet’s 40 years of touring. The Coral Reefer band consisted of keyboards, steel drums, percussion, guitar, bass, amazing supporting vocals from both male and female vocalists, drums, pedal steel guitar and trumpet, not to mention the Buffet, himself.
The show started off with high energy. Buffet was outfitted in shorts and an A1A shirt. The fans were mouthing the words, dancing, swaying and basically enjoying being “Under the Big Top.” It seemed like there were thousands of people there to help him kick off his 2010 tour. Buffet could relate and trace almost every single song to an experience in Florida, and every song he played had a story or island tale to accompany it.
He played for about two hours with a quick 15-min intermission halfway through, complete with an old Buffet video to keep us entertained. Notable songs added to the set list for this tour, according to Buffetworld.com, included “Knees of My Heart,” “Frank and Lola,” and “Tin Cup Chalise.” He chose to debut “Big Top” on Saturday and played the songs everyone knows him for including “Cheeseburger in Paradise,” and “Margaritaville.” Unfortunately “Why Don’t We Get Drunk…” did not make the set but, the show was amazing nonetheless.
The people or Parrothead-watching at the amphitheatre was epic. They were just as entertaining as Buffet, and when they imbibed more and more drinks, at times they were almost more entertaining. The real die-hards were seemingly stationed in the lawn area. You could feel the care-free, beachcomber vibe within the breeze as it occasionally swept through.
Buffet was very aware of how important his fans are, and how well they can party, “Some of you may take flight tonight and never leave the ground,” he joked. He claims that it’s the Tampa Parrotheads that really know how to tailgate. He also mentioned the “pirate mentality” of those in the “land of Gasparilla.” By the end of the show he had given away his bracelets and kicked off his flip flops, worn only for the encore, into the crowd to appease his many followers.
“Just like Santa, I come once a year,” said Buffet. And this year, he gifted devoted fans with a mind-blowing performance. He ended the evening by taking the fans, “Away again in Margaritaville.” Just before the finale, Buffet said someone once asked, “You ever get tired of those songs?” He responded, “No, because it’s not about me, it’s about you and how much the fans love hearing the songs.”
As he finished, the crowd went wild with applause banging on any and everything to entice him back for more. He returned within just a couple minutes. The big hit of the encore was “Fins.” Literally just about every pair of hands and arms in the place made the formation of a shark to swim and sing “Fins to the left, fins to the right.” It was contagious really, in the best way.
Finally Buffet took the stage alone and bid his fans farewell after the introduction of the Coral Reefer band. The evening surpassed any expectations and overall was just astounding. I’d seen some serious fans before but nothing like the Parrotheads. Buffet himself, is even better live than any night you listen to him at home. For forty years he’s been rockin’ his fans, and Saturday night being “Under the Big Top with Buffet and the Parrotheads, he kicked off another tour by doing nothing less than that once again.
I’ve seen tailgating…but there are no words to describe the festivities in action just on the way to park for the show. You must just watch and take it in. Grass skirts, coconut bras, on women and men, parrot, shark, cheeseburger, and straw hats decorated every which way you could see. There were mardi-gra-like beads, tiki shirts, silky surf tops, board shorts, sun dresses and Jimmy Buffet shirts too. Everyone was drinking something, whether it was Landshark beers, margaritas, or drinks out of coconuts and pineapples. Buffet songs were blasted on too many car stereos to count. The place was packed with Parrotheads.
As soon as people started filling in, beach balls were bouncing all over the lawn section and the seated area. Before the show two roadie-looking characters in board shirts and sleeveless tops came out to entertain the crowd with a t-shirt shooter and a backpack that was an extendable palm-tree-shaped basketball net for fans to try and shoot hoops in.
For the beginning of his “Under the Big Top” tour series, Buffet chose Tampa, and his fans clearly appreciated it. The lawn looked as if it was standing room only and the audience in the seated section seemed ready to dance. With drinks in hand and smiles on faces, the Parrotheads were ready to welcome Buffet onto the stage.
Jimmy Buffet and the Coral Reefer Band appeared and the party began. Behind his big band was a huge LCD screen with beach scenes and landscapes, occasionally sharing footage from Buffet’s 40 years of touring. The Coral Reefer band consisted of keyboards, steel drums, percussion, guitar, bass, amazing supporting vocals from both male and female vocalists, drums, pedal steel guitar and trumpet, not to mention the Buffet, himself.
The show started off with high energy. Buffet was outfitted in shorts and an A1A shirt. The fans were mouthing the words, dancing, swaying and basically enjoying being “Under the Big Top.” It seemed like there were thousands of people there to help him kick off his 2010 tour. Buffet could relate and trace almost every single song to an experience in Florida, and every song he played had a story or island tale to accompany it.
He played for about two hours with a quick 15-min intermission halfway through, complete with an old Buffet video to keep us entertained. Notable songs added to the set list for this tour, according to Buffetworld.com, included “Knees of My Heart,” “Frank and Lola,” and “Tin Cup Chalise.” He chose to debut “Big Top” on Saturday and played the songs everyone knows him for including “Cheeseburger in Paradise,” and “Margaritaville.” Unfortunately “Why Don’t We Get Drunk…” did not make the set but, the show was amazing nonetheless.
The people or Parrothead-watching at the amphitheatre was epic. They were just as entertaining as Buffet, and when they imbibed more and more drinks, at times they were almost more entertaining. The real die-hards were seemingly stationed in the lawn area. You could feel the care-free, beachcomber vibe within the breeze as it occasionally swept through.
Buffet was very aware of how important his fans are, and how well they can party, “Some of you may take flight tonight and never leave the ground,” he joked. He claims that it’s the Tampa Parrotheads that really know how to tailgate. He also mentioned the “pirate mentality” of those in the “land of Gasparilla.” By the end of the show he had given away his bracelets and kicked off his flip flops, worn only for the encore, into the crowd to appease his many followers.
“Just like Santa, I come once a year,” said Buffet. And this year, he gifted devoted fans with a mind-blowing performance. He ended the evening by taking the fans, “Away again in Margaritaville.” Just before the finale, Buffet said someone once asked, “You ever get tired of those songs?” He responded, “No, because it’s not about me, it’s about you and how much the fans love hearing the songs.”
As he finished, the crowd went wild with applause banging on any and everything to entice him back for more. He returned within just a couple minutes. The big hit of the encore was “Fins.” Literally just about every pair of hands and arms in the place made the formation of a shark to swim and sing “Fins to the left, fins to the right.” It was contagious really, in the best way.
Finally Buffet took the stage alone and bid his fans farewell after the introduction of the Coral Reefer band. The evening surpassed any expectations and overall was just astounding. I’d seen some serious fans before but nothing like the Parrotheads. Buffet himself, is even better live than any night you listen to him at home. For forty years he’s been rockin’ his fans, and Saturday night being “Under the Big Top with Buffet and the Parrotheads, he kicked off another tour by doing nothing less than that once again.
An Eye Opening Experience with the Blind Boys of Alabama
On April 23, 2010 WMNF sponsored the Bird Street Players and the Blind Boys of Alabama onstage at the “Skipperdome.” Arriving early to grab a bench ended up not being early enough. In a predominantly older crowd, the early-birds got the worms, and the good seats. The place was filled with fans of the Boys that had listened to them for decades.
The show took off promptly at 8pm with the Bird Street Singers. I’d seen them before at the Zombie Christmas show. Tonight they were far more energetic and funk-tastic. With a bass, timbales, drums, keyboard, and electric guitar, they rocked the opening set and announced that after the Blind Boys of Alabama finished their set the Players would be back for more.
The crowd was steadily filling in as the sun was setting. Mosquitoes were on the loose but the crowd was too anxious to care. The place was buzzing with chatter and excitement. This particular WMNF event had a completely different feel than the ones before. Perhaps it was the bluesy-gospel-harmonies about to ensue, but the vibe was amazing.
The Blind Boys of Alabama were helped onto the stage while given a huge welcome with applause, whistling and cheering from the audience. They announced “We don’t like to play for a conservative crowd, so if you want to jump up, jump up!” They launched into a few of what they referred to as, “Grammy songs.” Decked out in sharp sapphire-blue suits and their signature sun-glasses they left the crowd in awe as their energy and 3-part-harmonies bellowed out from the stage.
There were not many people mouthing every word to every song, but instead moving, grooving and taking in the tunes. The soulful sounds and intense dedication to the music you could feel from each note was enough to bring a fan to tears. During their set, they played “Perfect Peace,” a “Spirit in the Sky” cover, “Free at Last” and their epic rendition of “Amazing Grace.”
The three main singers took turns sitting. At one point in the performance, the sitting and standing was like a game. Joey Williams, the guitarist, would walk behind Jimmy Carter and sit him down, and then Bishop Billy Bowers would stand and dance around. As Williams would get Bowers seated, Ben Moore would then get up. It was like some kind of bluesy musical chairs. The only one who stayed seated throughout the charade was drummer, Eric McKinnie.
While Joey Williams occasionally blasted out an extreme falsetto solo, it was the deeply southern sounds, the gospel-esque wails, and crazy long notes that made for an amazing set. It was one of those shows where you were so mesmerized by the performance, and you had so much fun, even ten minutes after you leave it’s difficult to really remember which songs they played.
Towards the end of the performance Carter asked the crowd, “Do you feel good?” And after holding a note for what felt like five minutes straight said, “I feel good now!” Shortly after, the Blind Boys bodyguard escorted Carter into the crowd to party with the fans. It was just about then that the “non-conservative” crowd got loud and rowdy; just in time for the big finish.
The Blind Boys of Alabama introduced the band members, with solos by each player included, and then had a great instrumental finale. After the crowd chanted “We want ‘em back” they returned for a quick encore. The on-stage chemistry makes this ensemble a musical marvel! Jimmy Carter closed the evening saying, “We hope we sang something that made you feel like you never felt before. That’s what we try to do.” They tried and they succeeded. After a night watching the Blind Boys of Alabama in action, there is only one way to sum up that Friday at the Skipperdome: “Impressive.”
The show took off promptly at 8pm with the Bird Street Singers. I’d seen them before at the Zombie Christmas show. Tonight they were far more energetic and funk-tastic. With a bass, timbales, drums, keyboard, and electric guitar, they rocked the opening set and announced that after the Blind Boys of Alabama finished their set the Players would be back for more.
The crowd was steadily filling in as the sun was setting. Mosquitoes were on the loose but the crowd was too anxious to care. The place was buzzing with chatter and excitement. This particular WMNF event had a completely different feel than the ones before. Perhaps it was the bluesy-gospel-harmonies about to ensue, but the vibe was amazing.
The Blind Boys of Alabama were helped onto the stage while given a huge welcome with applause, whistling and cheering from the audience. They announced “We don’t like to play for a conservative crowd, so if you want to jump up, jump up!” They launched into a few of what they referred to as, “Grammy songs.” Decked out in sharp sapphire-blue suits and their signature sun-glasses they left the crowd in awe as their energy and 3-part-harmonies bellowed out from the stage.
There were not many people mouthing every word to every song, but instead moving, grooving and taking in the tunes. The soulful sounds and intense dedication to the music you could feel from each note was enough to bring a fan to tears. During their set, they played “Perfect Peace,” a “Spirit in the Sky” cover, “Free at Last” and their epic rendition of “Amazing Grace.”
The three main singers took turns sitting. At one point in the performance, the sitting and standing was like a game. Joey Williams, the guitarist, would walk behind Jimmy Carter and sit him down, and then Bishop Billy Bowers would stand and dance around. As Williams would get Bowers seated, Ben Moore would then get up. It was like some kind of bluesy musical chairs. The only one who stayed seated throughout the charade was drummer, Eric McKinnie.
While Joey Williams occasionally blasted out an extreme falsetto solo, it was the deeply southern sounds, the gospel-esque wails, and crazy long notes that made for an amazing set. It was one of those shows where you were so mesmerized by the performance, and you had so much fun, even ten minutes after you leave it’s difficult to really remember which songs they played.
Towards the end of the performance Carter asked the crowd, “Do you feel good?” And after holding a note for what felt like five minutes straight said, “I feel good now!” Shortly after, the Blind Boys bodyguard escorted Carter into the crowd to party with the fans. It was just about then that the “non-conservative” crowd got loud and rowdy; just in time for the big finish.
The Blind Boys of Alabama introduced the band members, with solos by each player included, and then had a great instrumental finale. After the crowd chanted “We want ‘em back” they returned for a quick encore. The on-stage chemistry makes this ensemble a musical marvel! Jimmy Carter closed the evening saying, “We hope we sang something that made you feel like you never felt before. That’s what we try to do.” They tried and they succeeded. After a night watching the Blind Boys of Alabama in action, there is only one way to sum up that Friday at the Skipperdome: “Impressive.”
Monday, April 19, 2010
Lodjic Letters - I inherited my father's gift for angry letters!
After being fired from my job at First Uniform retail outlet the day before we left for vacation to go home and see family and friends, I became a bit disgruntled.
Not only had I been fired for no real reasons: Starting a "Clique," undermining the manager by defending my fellow employees, and making her out to be the "bad manager" due to my comradery with two girls I worked with, but I had wasted 8 months of my life at I place you couldn't pay me to use as reference.
In the words of Lonnie Stoner, this whole thing ended up being quite a "blurse," a blessing and a curse, if you will. I found out I didn't hate my other job at the restaurant, got away from the terribly stressful store where I was apparently unappreciated, and now actually have time for a life, and am still making great money.
However, I left corporate Headquarters in Charlotte, NC these words. ENJOY!
Dear Bill White,
With much trepidation and regret I write to you in the wake of the termination of my employment at First Uniform in Tampa, FL just three weeks ago in an attempt to inform you of my disappointment with the management and their violation of my rights as an employee.
On March 20, 2009 Suzie Alday, or Santorsola, whichever she may choose to go buy, came in to the store and pulled me outside to talk to me about her disappointment in my personality traits and their effect on the workplace, inevitably firing me. She then, without fully concluding the conversation with me, and with my being in earshot, called my peer and co-worker, Heather Boyd, to inform her that I was no longer employed with First Uniform. This was none of Ms. Boyd’s business, should not have been done anywhere within my presence, violates my rights as an employee (to my understanding, of course) and is completely out of line and inconsiderate. Not to mention the fact that if any employee was to be informed of this decision first, it should be the one in the store with me, Ms. Jamie Johnson, not the one at home enjoying her day off. Also, she did not call my other co-worker, Jennifer Pantaleo to inform her, so I do not understand the point of this phone call anyway.
Suzie also told my, now, ex-coworkers, that if anyone asked where I was or what had happened, to inform them that I “went on vacation and never came back.” This is not only incredibly hurtful to me personally, but disregards my reputation, making me look terrible in the eyes of the Hospital Staff, customers I had come to learn by name, and any friends I had made at the University Community Hospital. I also feel that this puts my ex-co-workers in an uncomfortable and unfair position as well.
It hurts me to think that after almost 9 months with First Uniform in Tampa, it ended in such an abrupt and seemingly inconceivable way. However, these acts are a testament to the management of Suzie and I am hoping that you take the time to consider these issues among others I feel obligated to discuss.
I was told upon being hired that I would be evaluated within a few months of my hire date. This never happened. Instead, any and all issues that I ever had with Steve or Suzie were brought up in front of my peers, even if they were very personal issues and clearly only concerning myself and no other. I feel that if my position had been properly and personally evaluated, I would not have been fired. In nine months of employment I only ever had three altercations with Steve and/or Suzie Santorsola and I thought all of them had been resolved; apparently not.
Within about two months of my employment, during a time when I was dealing with a personal issue (a family emergency some 3,000 miles away) Steve addressed me about my “attitude.” This was not because I had offended a customer or a peer. It was because I had offended Suzie. I, of course, apologized to Suzie and explained that I was having a bad day and regretted that my personal life interfered with working in the store.
That situation is ironic because just a week before my termination, a fellow employee was having a fight with her significant other and was in a terrible mood. This employee was on her phone texting while in the store most of the day, ignored many duties, was rude to most everyone around her, and even broke a major rule at First Uniform – when she clocked in another employee who wasn’t even scheduled for that shift – and somehow escaped unscathed. To me, this all seems a bit unfair.
Let me make something clear: Steve and Suzie Santorsola are wonderful people. There was a time when I looked up to them and thought that they were amazing managers. I counted myself lucky to have such a wonderful job. I still don’t understand how I offended them, but whatever I did, resulted in my firing. The worst part is I still don’t quite know where I went wrong. The only reason I was given for the termination of my employment was that I started a “clique,” “undermined Suzie” and that my personality created an environment that Suzie didn’t like. I was seemingly fired for a personality clash, which is an unfit reason in my eyes.
When Suzie was appointed manager I was excited. I thought that things would improve in the store and she put a great deal of time and effort into becoming an active and present manager. Ironically, it was another employee who voiced a major problem with Suzie’s promotion; if Suzie is a person who lives by the mantra “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” she’s on the right track. However, her favoritism is definitely a hindrance in the store. Many times I felt like the only reason we had any problems was because she just didn’t like me, not because I wasn’t doing my job.
Within two weeks of her promotion, Suzie pulled me aside because a friend and fellow co-worker had expressed her concern about my being stressed out due to my second job. This created a major conflict as Suzie thought that there was some deep issue between the two of us and that it was her place to step in. Seeing as how my relationship outside the store with this employee was becoming a stress and a problem, I pulled away from it, to salvage my position in the workplace as an apt employee, and to act in the best interest of the store.
Two weeks after this, three of the four young ladies employed at First Uniform were gathered together for a meeting during a slow period of the day. Suzie talked to us about communication, upkeep, updates and then somehow the conversation turned to being about me and my personality flaws. I had offended Suzie at work as she thought that I was poking fun at her (which I was not, a co-worker explained this as well) and she discussed this issue with me in private, where I, of course, apologized many times over. She brought this up again, after I thought it had been resolved, and in front of my peers and publicly chastised me for my “attitude” and overall, for my personality. I had one co-worker come to my defense and say there had been a large amount of miscommunication. I took a deep breath, swallowed my tears of frustration and continued to work the day. I thought it was all behind us and I focused solely on customers and my duties at the store.
I thought things were getting better. Suzie and I had, what I thought to be, many constructive discussions about store morale and increasing sales, schedules, and the like. I was always honest with Suzie and very up-front. However, one particular conversation apparently helped lead to my employment termination. Suzie had expressed her frustration with an employee’s lack of understanding and her lack of willingness to listen. Myself, and another peer, tried to explain to Suzie that sometimes this employee whom she was so frustrated with just needed to have things rephrased or explained in different terms for her to fully understand…she did not offend with intent. Suzie didn’t seem to care about our thoughts and later accused me of “deciding to steer the conversation in the direction that I wanted to undermine her.”
There was also an instance where a co-worker approached me concerned she had offended Suzie and asked if anything had been said about the situation. I answered her honestly saying, Suzie had brought up the conflict as an example of “what not to do” and would probably speak to her in greater detail about it later. This situation led to Suzie accusing me of making her out to be “the bad manager” and my trying to get the girls to “rally” against her.
These situations are clearly misconstrued and misunderstood. What is important isn’t who is right or wrong, what is important is that Suzie used situations that could have been avoided, better discussed, or completely ridiculous as a reason to fire me. I was easily expendable to her because I had another job, so she could fire me with a clear conscience – another testament to her managerial character.
I think it is imperative that you understand that Suzie’s capabilities as a manager are not even in question, but when you rule with your heart and not your head things can become unnecessarily complicated. I watched Suzie let one employee get away with things once deemed “unacceptable.” I’d heard customers both in the store and at outside First Uniform events complain about Suzie. I watched Suzie claim other employee’s ideas as her own to Steve, and micromanage employees giving her “favorites” simplistic tasks like making a sign, while forcing another to straighten every piece of Cherokee in the store alone.
I don’t think there is any legitimate reason for the termination of my employment, and if there was, I hope you can send me some form of explanation because I still don’t know. Two of my peers thought I was a wonderful employee. I was 100% there for First Uniform. Part of my upset comes from the fact that just a month ago Suzie asked me if I planned to stay on the team throughout the next few months and I said “Yes, nothing I will take on will affect my position at this store, but I wouldn’t stay if you didn’t want me here.” Her response was “You are valued, that isn’t even a question in anyone’s mind.” Also, a week prior to my getting fired she asked me if my second job would lessen my availability at the store as they were getting ready to hire a new team member and I said “You were my first job and I will not let my second job interfere.” If I had known that these problems existed, I would have gracefully resigned for the good of the company. Instead I was fired the day before I left to fly home to see my family, never having been fired before from anything, and feeling as though I wasted 9 months of my life without walking away with a reference, or any appreciation.
I don’t doubt that the store sales will continue to increase, but I will tell you that you will continue to gain and lose employees under the management if Suzie is not evaluated and trained by someone other than Steve. When I returned to the store three weeks after my firing to pick up an order I had placed, I smiled and said hello to Suzie and she wouldn’t even look at me and quietly just said “hey.” I find this ridiculous and rude and the last testament to Suzie’s management.
I really liked working with everyone at First Uniform and I thought I was part of a great team and a valued member of a company I supported. However, if you support a manager who is able to fire someone based on personal conflicts and likeability, I cannot sit back idly and wait for her to do it to someone else. I have lodged a complaint with the Better Business Bureau, and I hope that this note and this complaint will have some resonance and make First Uniform in Tampa, the “positive” place that I kept it from becoming.
I encourage you to call or write me with any questions or concerns. Thank you for your time,
Alison Chriss
Bill White has since responded with the following:
"Alison,
Thank you for your letter. I appreciate your sincerity as well as the amount of through and time you put into it. Rest assured that I have read it carefully and we had detailed discussions with both Steve and Suzy on the matter. I can tell you that they both had many positive things to say about you, that you will be missed by all, and they certainly wish you the best as you move on. Clearly they agonized over the decision, but they felt it was unfortunately the best course of action in this case, and I agree. And yes, there is always some room for improvement.
Alison I can tell you care a great deal about your job, and I'm sure this trait will serve you well in the future. Thanks again for your letter and the work you did for our company.
Sincerely,
Bill White
Director of Business Development
First Uniform"
If this doesn't apply to my "Art of Letting Go" post...I don't know what does! Sometimes we have to let go of the fact that we have no power, were wronged and there is no right. It's freeing to think that this is all behind me, and I will walk away as the adult of the situation. Now I just fear for the girls I once worked with! Hang in there ladies!
Not only had I been fired for no real reasons: Starting a "Clique," undermining the manager by defending my fellow employees, and making her out to be the "bad manager" due to my comradery with two girls I worked with, but I had wasted 8 months of my life at I place you couldn't pay me to use as reference.
In the words of Lonnie Stoner, this whole thing ended up being quite a "blurse," a blessing and a curse, if you will. I found out I didn't hate my other job at the restaurant, got away from the terribly stressful store where I was apparently unappreciated, and now actually have time for a life, and am still making great money.
However, I left corporate Headquarters in Charlotte, NC these words. ENJOY!
Dear Bill White,
With much trepidation and regret I write to you in the wake of the termination of my employment at First Uniform in Tampa, FL just three weeks ago in an attempt to inform you of my disappointment with the management and their violation of my rights as an employee.
On March 20, 2009 Suzie Alday, or Santorsola, whichever she may choose to go buy, came in to the store and pulled me outside to talk to me about her disappointment in my personality traits and their effect on the workplace, inevitably firing me. She then, without fully concluding the conversation with me, and with my being in earshot, called my peer and co-worker, Heather Boyd, to inform her that I was no longer employed with First Uniform. This was none of Ms. Boyd’s business, should not have been done anywhere within my presence, violates my rights as an employee (to my understanding, of course) and is completely out of line and inconsiderate. Not to mention the fact that if any employee was to be informed of this decision first, it should be the one in the store with me, Ms. Jamie Johnson, not the one at home enjoying her day off. Also, she did not call my other co-worker, Jennifer Pantaleo to inform her, so I do not understand the point of this phone call anyway.
Suzie also told my, now, ex-coworkers, that if anyone asked where I was or what had happened, to inform them that I “went on vacation and never came back.” This is not only incredibly hurtful to me personally, but disregards my reputation, making me look terrible in the eyes of the Hospital Staff, customers I had come to learn by name, and any friends I had made at the University Community Hospital. I also feel that this puts my ex-co-workers in an uncomfortable and unfair position as well.
It hurts me to think that after almost 9 months with First Uniform in Tampa, it ended in such an abrupt and seemingly inconceivable way. However, these acts are a testament to the management of Suzie and I am hoping that you take the time to consider these issues among others I feel obligated to discuss.
I was told upon being hired that I would be evaluated within a few months of my hire date. This never happened. Instead, any and all issues that I ever had with Steve or Suzie were brought up in front of my peers, even if they were very personal issues and clearly only concerning myself and no other. I feel that if my position had been properly and personally evaluated, I would not have been fired. In nine months of employment I only ever had three altercations with Steve and/or Suzie Santorsola and I thought all of them had been resolved; apparently not.
Within about two months of my employment, during a time when I was dealing with a personal issue (a family emergency some 3,000 miles away) Steve addressed me about my “attitude.” This was not because I had offended a customer or a peer. It was because I had offended Suzie. I, of course, apologized to Suzie and explained that I was having a bad day and regretted that my personal life interfered with working in the store.
That situation is ironic because just a week before my termination, a fellow employee was having a fight with her significant other and was in a terrible mood. This employee was on her phone texting while in the store most of the day, ignored many duties, was rude to most everyone around her, and even broke a major rule at First Uniform – when she clocked in another employee who wasn’t even scheduled for that shift – and somehow escaped unscathed. To me, this all seems a bit unfair.
Let me make something clear: Steve and Suzie Santorsola are wonderful people. There was a time when I looked up to them and thought that they were amazing managers. I counted myself lucky to have such a wonderful job. I still don’t understand how I offended them, but whatever I did, resulted in my firing. The worst part is I still don’t quite know where I went wrong. The only reason I was given for the termination of my employment was that I started a “clique,” “undermined Suzie” and that my personality created an environment that Suzie didn’t like. I was seemingly fired for a personality clash, which is an unfit reason in my eyes.
When Suzie was appointed manager I was excited. I thought that things would improve in the store and she put a great deal of time and effort into becoming an active and present manager. Ironically, it was another employee who voiced a major problem with Suzie’s promotion; if Suzie is a person who lives by the mantra “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” she’s on the right track. However, her favoritism is definitely a hindrance in the store. Many times I felt like the only reason we had any problems was because she just didn’t like me, not because I wasn’t doing my job.
Within two weeks of her promotion, Suzie pulled me aside because a friend and fellow co-worker had expressed her concern about my being stressed out due to my second job. This created a major conflict as Suzie thought that there was some deep issue between the two of us and that it was her place to step in. Seeing as how my relationship outside the store with this employee was becoming a stress and a problem, I pulled away from it, to salvage my position in the workplace as an apt employee, and to act in the best interest of the store.
Two weeks after this, three of the four young ladies employed at First Uniform were gathered together for a meeting during a slow period of the day. Suzie talked to us about communication, upkeep, updates and then somehow the conversation turned to being about me and my personality flaws. I had offended Suzie at work as she thought that I was poking fun at her (which I was not, a co-worker explained this as well) and she discussed this issue with me in private, where I, of course, apologized many times over. She brought this up again, after I thought it had been resolved, and in front of my peers and publicly chastised me for my “attitude” and overall, for my personality. I had one co-worker come to my defense and say there had been a large amount of miscommunication. I took a deep breath, swallowed my tears of frustration and continued to work the day. I thought it was all behind us and I focused solely on customers and my duties at the store.
I thought things were getting better. Suzie and I had, what I thought to be, many constructive discussions about store morale and increasing sales, schedules, and the like. I was always honest with Suzie and very up-front. However, one particular conversation apparently helped lead to my employment termination. Suzie had expressed her frustration with an employee’s lack of understanding and her lack of willingness to listen. Myself, and another peer, tried to explain to Suzie that sometimes this employee whom she was so frustrated with just needed to have things rephrased or explained in different terms for her to fully understand…she did not offend with intent. Suzie didn’t seem to care about our thoughts and later accused me of “deciding to steer the conversation in the direction that I wanted to undermine her.”
There was also an instance where a co-worker approached me concerned she had offended Suzie and asked if anything had been said about the situation. I answered her honestly saying, Suzie had brought up the conflict as an example of “what not to do” and would probably speak to her in greater detail about it later. This situation led to Suzie accusing me of making her out to be “the bad manager” and my trying to get the girls to “rally” against her.
These situations are clearly misconstrued and misunderstood. What is important isn’t who is right or wrong, what is important is that Suzie used situations that could have been avoided, better discussed, or completely ridiculous as a reason to fire me. I was easily expendable to her because I had another job, so she could fire me with a clear conscience – another testament to her managerial character.
I think it is imperative that you understand that Suzie’s capabilities as a manager are not even in question, but when you rule with your heart and not your head things can become unnecessarily complicated. I watched Suzie let one employee get away with things once deemed “unacceptable.” I’d heard customers both in the store and at outside First Uniform events complain about Suzie. I watched Suzie claim other employee’s ideas as her own to Steve, and micromanage employees giving her “favorites” simplistic tasks like making a sign, while forcing another to straighten every piece of Cherokee in the store alone.
I don’t think there is any legitimate reason for the termination of my employment, and if there was, I hope you can send me some form of explanation because I still don’t know. Two of my peers thought I was a wonderful employee. I was 100% there for First Uniform. Part of my upset comes from the fact that just a month ago Suzie asked me if I planned to stay on the team throughout the next few months and I said “Yes, nothing I will take on will affect my position at this store, but I wouldn’t stay if you didn’t want me here.” Her response was “You are valued, that isn’t even a question in anyone’s mind.” Also, a week prior to my getting fired she asked me if my second job would lessen my availability at the store as they were getting ready to hire a new team member and I said “You were my first job and I will not let my second job interfere.” If I had known that these problems existed, I would have gracefully resigned for the good of the company. Instead I was fired the day before I left to fly home to see my family, never having been fired before from anything, and feeling as though I wasted 9 months of my life without walking away with a reference, or any appreciation.
I don’t doubt that the store sales will continue to increase, but I will tell you that you will continue to gain and lose employees under the management if Suzie is not evaluated and trained by someone other than Steve. When I returned to the store three weeks after my firing to pick up an order I had placed, I smiled and said hello to Suzie and she wouldn’t even look at me and quietly just said “hey.” I find this ridiculous and rude and the last testament to Suzie’s management.
I really liked working with everyone at First Uniform and I thought I was part of a great team and a valued member of a company I supported. However, if you support a manager who is able to fire someone based on personal conflicts and likeability, I cannot sit back idly and wait for her to do it to someone else. I have lodged a complaint with the Better Business Bureau, and I hope that this note and this complaint will have some resonance and make First Uniform in Tampa, the “positive” place that I kept it from becoming.
I encourage you to call or write me with any questions or concerns. Thank you for your time,
Alison Chriss
Bill White has since responded with the following:
"Alison,
Thank you for your letter. I appreciate your sincerity as well as the amount of through and time you put into it. Rest assured that I have read it carefully and we had detailed discussions with both Steve and Suzy on the matter. I can tell you that they both had many positive things to say about you, that you will be missed by all, and they certainly wish you the best as you move on. Clearly they agonized over the decision, but they felt it was unfortunately the best course of action in this case, and I agree. And yes, there is always some room for improvement.
Alison I can tell you care a great deal about your job, and I'm sure this trait will serve you well in the future. Thanks again for your letter and the work you did for our company.
Sincerely,
Bill White
Director of Business Development
First Uniform"
If this doesn't apply to my "Art of Letting Go" post...I don't know what does! Sometimes we have to let go of the fact that we have no power, were wronged and there is no right. It's freeing to think that this is all behind me, and I will walk away as the adult of the situation. Now I just fear for the girls I once worked with! Hang in there ladies!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
The Art of Letting Go - Hopefully this isn't too "Self-Help"
How many times have you heard the phrases “Let go,” “Let it go,” “Just let go” or “Let them go.”? How many times have you uttered those words? It’s common English diction really. When you “Google it” music, lyrics, and “how to let go” of lovers, grudges, bitterness, and regret all come up within just the top ten.
Letting go, however, is one of those many things in life that are easier said than done. From personal experience, I believe that there is an art to letting things, people, situations, and emotional attachments go.
What exactly are we let go of? Pain, emotional baggage, people, grief, love, anguish, stress, disappointment, regret, anger and anything else in life that plagues us, right? It’s a process.
Maybe it just becomes easier with age but when I think of all the people, memories and just “things” – both tangible and emotional – it’s quite the impressive journey.
When I was five, my Kindergarten boyfriend left the school and moved. That was an attachment I had to let go of. That same year my Grandma Mary died, which was someone I had to just let go. Those two occurrences seemed so simple, but is it as we grow older or as we grow emotionally and mentally that it all becomes more complicated?
Perhaps there was a moment in my life where, in the midst of everything that I thought I knew was spinning out of control, I decided that I had to take control of as much of my life as I possibly could. This probably led to my inability to “let things go.” Maybe inability is the wrong word. I can do it, but it’s never easy for me.
After a terrible bout with severe depression in 2008/2009 I’ve discovered some interesting patterns in my life. I’ve randomly thought about the events that have unfolded in my life in the past decade only to come to the realization that I have some very self-destructive habits. One of these habits has everything to do with the whole issue of letting go.
One of my best friends said it best when he asked my husband, “Did you ever notice how Alison makes a big deal about the little things, she obsesses over them, but the huge things in life just don’t bother her?” I wanted to argue but I couldn’t. He was dead on. My sarcastic self said “Oh, come on, I’d rather be mad that my hair looks like shit than the big catastrophes in my life because if I think about the big things all the time, I’d kill myself.”
I don’t want to let go of the little things because then I’d have to face the big stuff. Seems like common sense to me, but, it also allows me to push away the anger and pain. I sweep a lot under the rock. I shelve things that shouldn’t have a shelf life. I was wired early on in my childhood to “save face,” or to keep certain things private, and now that seems to have totally wrecked my persona.
But now, I want to study and explore this “art” of letting go. I’ve lost so many people in my life in the past 5, even 10 years. And I’m not talking about loved ones passing. I’m talking about people that have been “let go” or have let me go. And now that I’m away from the circumstances, both physically and mentally, I can really reflect.
When you move, when you graduate, when you grow as a person, you lose touch with people and drift apart. Some of these things feel natural and some do not. Some leave imprints and some just happen like the change of a season overnight. When you feel the shift, however, and I mean really feel it that is when you know that you’ll be forever changed. And now, my reflections:
My first love did not love me back, and he wasn’t always the nicest guy. One day we just stopped talking. He moved away and I moved forward. We mutually let each other go.
My first boyfriend, also not a very nice guy, ended up stealing from me, his roommates, and a couple other people close to me. He left apology letters for everyone, except me. I was hurt, ashamed, and filled with anger…every once in awhile I catch myself getting all worked up about how terrible he was, but the further away I get from it the easier it has become to take a breath and let it go.
I had an integral person in my life abandon me in so many ways…she chose everything over me. The worst part is; I don’t know if she was ever really there for me. Perhaps she was there physically but what about mentally? I want to let her go in every sense, walk away forever, but she is genetically tied to me, and irreplaceable. I’ve been detaching from her bit by bit since I was 13…this is the kind of letting go that isn’t just a “cut and run” situation.
My best friend, or ex-best-friend as I now refer to him, was my friend since birth. I put a lot of pressure on him to be this amazing force in my life. I thought I believed in fate and he was this amazing part of mine. I gave him everything he asked, and then some, and in the end it just wasn’t what either of us needed. I looked to him for a sense of family and he came through. I idolized his family because, with everything they’d been through they all had this amazing bond and were wonderfully happy. They all thought of me as something-better-than-nothing, and they accepted me for who and what I was: completely fucked up, but with a good heart.
I’d struggled with him for years. I wanted him to be a life-changing friend and he wanted me to be this simply rockin’ girl and in the end we both failed. When we grew out of our teen angst age and I dated his roommate and he dated girls from work, parties, or concerts, we just couldn’t find our groove. We fought, and I cried…all the time. I wanted him to care and he wanted me to not care…it was a set up for disaster. One weekend we went on a trip together and I realized that I was trying so hard to be this perfect girl for him; I didn’t even know what girl I was anymore. I’d completely lost me.
I went home to my then-boyfriend, now-husband and cried telling him I had to change and he told me that I needed to do any and everything to be happy, because he was suffering too. But, he didn’t want to lose me. He had lived too long in the shadow of this stressful friendship I’d been fighting for.
After weeks, months and then some of serious therapy where I laid all my shit on the table, I thought my very bestest friend was behind me. He was supportive and present, dating a really sweet girl who made him happy, and I’d salvaged my hanging-by-a-thread relationship with the only man who ever loved me, and who I felt like I kinda deserved. During my steps away from depression and anxiety I had begged my friend to let me go if I was too much of a handful. I’ve almost always seen myself as a burden on someone and in the past few years, I thought of myself more as a kind-of-unfortunate-looking personal driver, loan officer and/or rent-a-friend, than a substantial relationship for him, but he refused to just “Let me go.”
But then, because it’s my life and not a movie, the shit hit the fan and my “integral person” came back to completely fuck up all my progress. In the wake of all of the family drama and another episode of “Alison being forced into dealing with more than a twenty-something should have to” scenario, after too much alcohol, an Irish Punk Rock vibe gone wrong and some terribly fucked-up inappropriate conversation, my then-best-friend, now ex-best-friend, let me AND my then-boyfriend, now-husband GO, to be with the girl he loved.
For a month I cried myself to sleep and completely regressed. I’d gone through pangs of anger and serenity and then one day I just realized: we needed to let each other go. His family went through some serious anguish with all of this. We regret so much but almost felt a relief knowing it was over. Both parties involved have since moved in completely positive directions after the terrible incident and now I look back and it just makes me sad.
We had some amazing memories. We had some really good times. But at some point, we just had to let go. I couldn’t be the perfect girl he wanted, and he couldn’t be the man I needed. I should have let him go years ago but there was a certain dysfunctional co-dependence we shared.
Letting go of all of this sucked, to say the least. This is the big stuff I didn’t want to face! But, true to form, more recently, I just deal with the little things that bug me with the occasional major hurdle.
February was the month of answering all my questions from my childhood and facing my demons. I think March was the month of facing the high school drama all over again.
After a tumultuous love-hate relationship with Facebook I finally gave in and “friended” a few old high school friends. As if this wasn’t enough drama, I happened to have attended 3 different high schools. I found an old “flame,” now married with a family and everything and we started catching up.
At some point, the conversation went awry and I got the feeling that he thought my asking to meet up “for lunch sometime” was some kind of sexual code. One day he text me and I finally had to make it clear that "lunch" meant actually eating lunch and then he just stopped talking to me. One stressful night after one-glass-of-wine-too-many I found the strength to text him asking, “What you’re just never going to speak to me again? We can’t even be friends?”
He responded with “Please don’t ever text me again.” I quickly un-friended him on Facebook and had to let go of the fact that, even while I was doing right I still somehow did “wrong.” I have to let go of the fact that some people are just assholes.
I don’t think I will ever master this “Art of Letting Go” but with every dramatic incident I get better and better.
Life gives you these challenges every day and it’s up to us to decide if we hang onto them like a sentimental picture or a souvenir or if we just do the cool thing and “recycle” them. There are some people in this world that can actually just “let it go.” Most of them are men, but for women like me and most women in general, we have to study this concept much like we study the mystery of men. Maybe my next chapter on this will be the “Art of Closure.” Until then, I think I will just…stick to what I know.
Letting go, however, is one of those many things in life that are easier said than done. From personal experience, I believe that there is an art to letting things, people, situations, and emotional attachments go.
What exactly are we let go of? Pain, emotional baggage, people, grief, love, anguish, stress, disappointment, regret, anger and anything else in life that plagues us, right? It’s a process.
Maybe it just becomes easier with age but when I think of all the people, memories and just “things” – both tangible and emotional – it’s quite the impressive journey.
When I was five, my Kindergarten boyfriend left the school and moved. That was an attachment I had to let go of. That same year my Grandma Mary died, which was someone I had to just let go. Those two occurrences seemed so simple, but is it as we grow older or as we grow emotionally and mentally that it all becomes more complicated?
Perhaps there was a moment in my life where, in the midst of everything that I thought I knew was spinning out of control, I decided that I had to take control of as much of my life as I possibly could. This probably led to my inability to “let things go.” Maybe inability is the wrong word. I can do it, but it’s never easy for me.
After a terrible bout with severe depression in 2008/2009 I’ve discovered some interesting patterns in my life. I’ve randomly thought about the events that have unfolded in my life in the past decade only to come to the realization that I have some very self-destructive habits. One of these habits has everything to do with the whole issue of letting go.
One of my best friends said it best when he asked my husband, “Did you ever notice how Alison makes a big deal about the little things, she obsesses over them, but the huge things in life just don’t bother her?” I wanted to argue but I couldn’t. He was dead on. My sarcastic self said “Oh, come on, I’d rather be mad that my hair looks like shit than the big catastrophes in my life because if I think about the big things all the time, I’d kill myself.”
I don’t want to let go of the little things because then I’d have to face the big stuff. Seems like common sense to me, but, it also allows me to push away the anger and pain. I sweep a lot under the rock. I shelve things that shouldn’t have a shelf life. I was wired early on in my childhood to “save face,” or to keep certain things private, and now that seems to have totally wrecked my persona.
But now, I want to study and explore this “art” of letting go. I’ve lost so many people in my life in the past 5, even 10 years. And I’m not talking about loved ones passing. I’m talking about people that have been “let go” or have let me go. And now that I’m away from the circumstances, both physically and mentally, I can really reflect.
When you move, when you graduate, when you grow as a person, you lose touch with people and drift apart. Some of these things feel natural and some do not. Some leave imprints and some just happen like the change of a season overnight. When you feel the shift, however, and I mean really feel it that is when you know that you’ll be forever changed. And now, my reflections:
My first love did not love me back, and he wasn’t always the nicest guy. One day we just stopped talking. He moved away and I moved forward. We mutually let each other go.
My first boyfriend, also not a very nice guy, ended up stealing from me, his roommates, and a couple other people close to me. He left apology letters for everyone, except me. I was hurt, ashamed, and filled with anger…every once in awhile I catch myself getting all worked up about how terrible he was, but the further away I get from it the easier it has become to take a breath and let it go.
I had an integral person in my life abandon me in so many ways…she chose everything over me. The worst part is; I don’t know if she was ever really there for me. Perhaps she was there physically but what about mentally? I want to let her go in every sense, walk away forever, but she is genetically tied to me, and irreplaceable. I’ve been detaching from her bit by bit since I was 13…this is the kind of letting go that isn’t just a “cut and run” situation.
My best friend, or ex-best-friend as I now refer to him, was my friend since birth. I put a lot of pressure on him to be this amazing force in my life. I thought I believed in fate and he was this amazing part of mine. I gave him everything he asked, and then some, and in the end it just wasn’t what either of us needed. I looked to him for a sense of family and he came through. I idolized his family because, with everything they’d been through they all had this amazing bond and were wonderfully happy. They all thought of me as something-better-than-nothing, and they accepted me for who and what I was: completely fucked up, but with a good heart.
I’d struggled with him for years. I wanted him to be a life-changing friend and he wanted me to be this simply rockin’ girl and in the end we both failed. When we grew out of our teen angst age and I dated his roommate and he dated girls from work, parties, or concerts, we just couldn’t find our groove. We fought, and I cried…all the time. I wanted him to care and he wanted me to not care…it was a set up for disaster. One weekend we went on a trip together and I realized that I was trying so hard to be this perfect girl for him; I didn’t even know what girl I was anymore. I’d completely lost me.
I went home to my then-boyfriend, now-husband and cried telling him I had to change and he told me that I needed to do any and everything to be happy, because he was suffering too. But, he didn’t want to lose me. He had lived too long in the shadow of this stressful friendship I’d been fighting for.
After weeks, months and then some of serious therapy where I laid all my shit on the table, I thought my very bestest friend was behind me. He was supportive and present, dating a really sweet girl who made him happy, and I’d salvaged my hanging-by-a-thread relationship with the only man who ever loved me, and who I felt like I kinda deserved. During my steps away from depression and anxiety I had begged my friend to let me go if I was too much of a handful. I’ve almost always seen myself as a burden on someone and in the past few years, I thought of myself more as a kind-of-unfortunate-looking personal driver, loan officer and/or rent-a-friend, than a substantial relationship for him, but he refused to just “Let me go.”
But then, because it’s my life and not a movie, the shit hit the fan and my “integral person” came back to completely fuck up all my progress. In the wake of all of the family drama and another episode of “Alison being forced into dealing with more than a twenty-something should have to” scenario, after too much alcohol, an Irish Punk Rock vibe gone wrong and some terribly fucked-up inappropriate conversation, my then-best-friend, now ex-best-friend, let me AND my then-boyfriend, now-husband GO, to be with the girl he loved.
For a month I cried myself to sleep and completely regressed. I’d gone through pangs of anger and serenity and then one day I just realized: we needed to let each other go. His family went through some serious anguish with all of this. We regret so much but almost felt a relief knowing it was over. Both parties involved have since moved in completely positive directions after the terrible incident and now I look back and it just makes me sad.
We had some amazing memories. We had some really good times. But at some point, we just had to let go. I couldn’t be the perfect girl he wanted, and he couldn’t be the man I needed. I should have let him go years ago but there was a certain dysfunctional co-dependence we shared.
Letting go of all of this sucked, to say the least. This is the big stuff I didn’t want to face! But, true to form, more recently, I just deal with the little things that bug me with the occasional major hurdle.
February was the month of answering all my questions from my childhood and facing my demons. I think March was the month of facing the high school drama all over again.
After a tumultuous love-hate relationship with Facebook I finally gave in and “friended” a few old high school friends. As if this wasn’t enough drama, I happened to have attended 3 different high schools. I found an old “flame,” now married with a family and everything and we started catching up.
At some point, the conversation went awry and I got the feeling that he thought my asking to meet up “for lunch sometime” was some kind of sexual code. One day he text me and I finally had to make it clear that "lunch" meant actually eating lunch and then he just stopped talking to me. One stressful night after one-glass-of-wine-too-many I found the strength to text him asking, “What you’re just never going to speak to me again? We can’t even be friends?”
He responded with “Please don’t ever text me again.” I quickly un-friended him on Facebook and had to let go of the fact that, even while I was doing right I still somehow did “wrong.” I have to let go of the fact that some people are just assholes.
I don’t think I will ever master this “Art of Letting Go” but with every dramatic incident I get better and better.
Life gives you these challenges every day and it’s up to us to decide if we hang onto them like a sentimental picture or a souvenir or if we just do the cool thing and “recycle” them. There are some people in this world that can actually just “let it go.” Most of them are men, but for women like me and most women in general, we have to study this concept much like we study the mystery of men. Maybe my next chapter on this will be the “Art of Closure.” Until then, I think I will just…stick to what I know.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Between the Black and White...There's David Gray
David Gray is probably most famous for his hit, “Babylon,” from his album “White Ladder.” Personally, I think this is his worst song, especially when you listen to the entire album, let alone his entire catalog. Despite my distaste for “Babylon,” I fell in love with “White Ladder” and with the handsome man from Wales, David Gray. He has come a long way since his success in 2000, and proved it throughout his performance at Ruth Eckerd Hall on Tuesday, April 13, 2010.
To open for Gray, Phosphorescent warmed up the crowd with their grungy, folksy, Iron and Wine-esque musical style. With deep indie-rock riffs and vibrant guitar solos, the country twinge drifting in and out made for a soothing entrance into an amazing evening. With five players – keyboard, drums, bass and two guitars, Phosphorescent left the audience with a Willie Nelson cover and some great new songs remember.
After the short and sweet opening set, the stage was readied for David Gray. Ruth Eckerd Hall had never looked so sparse, but then sporadically filled in bit by bit. There was a big, white sheet engulfing the stage for Gray’s ominous intro. The lights went dim, the sheet turned red, and you could see his silhouette. The sheet dropped and there he was, center stage, strumming that guitar and rocking the crowd.
Gray had four men behind him to complement his signature sound. Gray’s stage presence was strong, and some of his moves are very much like dancing tantrums. His forceful guitar strums are one with his stage-stomps and erratic foot-work; his head is a like a bobble-head on a windy road but never misses a single beat. Gray is a performer to be taken in, watched and paid close attention to.
Gray performed pieces from his entire collection, but definitely made it known that his new album, “Draw the Line” should not be missed. “Be Mine,” “Draw the Line,” “You’re the World To Me,” “Freedom,” “Sail Away with Me,” “Nemesis,” “Kathleen,” “Babylon”(of course!), and “Please Forgive Me” were all featured throughout the evening. People in every row were singing along, dancing from time to time and loving every minute of it.
Gray also frequently switched instruments. Between different guitars, the piano, and the harmonica, he proved he was not only good on disc, but was fantastic live. He commented on the Florida weather saying “It’s like Jurassic Park down here,” and calling Floridians, “Part reptile by now.” And these “part-reptilian” fans are extremely devout. I wanted to believe David Gray to be a relatively obscure artist, but I was very wrong. I’d never seen such a dedicated crowd. I even had a woman next to me “helping” by letting me know the name – and lyrics – to nearly every song he played.
After about an hour or so, he had quite the instrumental finale finishing with a bang. The crowd hooted and hollered until he returned for his ferocious encore. He closed with my personal favorite, “This Year’s Love,” followed by “The Other Side” and then “You’re the One I Love.” The crowd left smiling and content. Throughout the parking lot you could hear various David Gray albums blaring out of car stereos.
David Gray is an incredible performer and should not be missed the next time he comes back down around “Jurassic Park.” He exceeded my expectations, literally wowed fans (I heard them say “wow!”), and left too many of his songs stuck in the audience members’ heads. For a Tuesday night in Clearwater, it was definitely a musically eventful evening.
To open for Gray, Phosphorescent warmed up the crowd with their grungy, folksy, Iron and Wine-esque musical style. With deep indie-rock riffs and vibrant guitar solos, the country twinge drifting in and out made for a soothing entrance into an amazing evening. With five players – keyboard, drums, bass and two guitars, Phosphorescent left the audience with a Willie Nelson cover and some great new songs remember.
After the short and sweet opening set, the stage was readied for David Gray. Ruth Eckerd Hall had never looked so sparse, but then sporadically filled in bit by bit. There was a big, white sheet engulfing the stage for Gray’s ominous intro. The lights went dim, the sheet turned red, and you could see his silhouette. The sheet dropped and there he was, center stage, strumming that guitar and rocking the crowd.
Gray had four men behind him to complement his signature sound. Gray’s stage presence was strong, and some of his moves are very much like dancing tantrums. His forceful guitar strums are one with his stage-stomps and erratic foot-work; his head is a like a bobble-head on a windy road but never misses a single beat. Gray is a performer to be taken in, watched and paid close attention to.
Gray performed pieces from his entire collection, but definitely made it known that his new album, “Draw the Line” should not be missed. “Be Mine,” “Draw the Line,” “You’re the World To Me,” “Freedom,” “Sail Away with Me,” “Nemesis,” “Kathleen,” “Babylon”(of course!), and “Please Forgive Me” were all featured throughout the evening. People in every row were singing along, dancing from time to time and loving every minute of it.
Gray also frequently switched instruments. Between different guitars, the piano, and the harmonica, he proved he was not only good on disc, but was fantastic live. He commented on the Florida weather saying “It’s like Jurassic Park down here,” and calling Floridians, “Part reptile by now.” And these “part-reptilian” fans are extremely devout. I wanted to believe David Gray to be a relatively obscure artist, but I was very wrong. I’d never seen such a dedicated crowd. I even had a woman next to me “helping” by letting me know the name – and lyrics – to nearly every song he played.
After about an hour or so, he had quite the instrumental finale finishing with a bang. The crowd hooted and hollered until he returned for his ferocious encore. He closed with my personal favorite, “This Year’s Love,” followed by “The Other Side” and then “You’re the One I Love.” The crowd left smiling and content. Throughout the parking lot you could hear various David Gray albums blaring out of car stereos.
David Gray is an incredible performer and should not be missed the next time he comes back down around “Jurassic Park.” He exceeded my expectations, literally wowed fans (I heard them say “wow!”), and left too many of his songs stuck in the audience members’ heads. For a Tuesday night in Clearwater, it was definitely a musically eventful evening.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Haircut PTSD Lessened By Stranger Things
My daughter's first haircut was unfortunately out of desperate necessity after the car accident four years ago. My daughter has gorgeous...
