Live Music Is Living My Best Life

My first concert was when I was 13. I didn't appreciate it at all at the time. It was with a friend who was almost a frenemy but my mom made me go. It was Billy Joel at F&M college circa 1997, 1998ish. My first concern I cared about what at Hershey Stadium. Hanson. I have no shame. It was huge and overwhelming and loud but so fun. I didn't see many other concerts until I was 18, but was lucky enough to see *NSYNC in south Florida when I was 17, which was awesome.

When I moved to Oregon and connected with music to get me through all my family stuff I started going to concerts. My dad wouldn't go with me, but would drop me off and pick me up or make my older sisters take me until I was about 19 and had large dude friend to look out for me. By the time I was 19 going to concerts was like a hobby and collecting tickets, bumper stickers, shirts, autographs, anything I could get was like a sport.

Last night I went to the radio station 97X's sponsored event called the "Freebie Weebie." I drove an hour to a dive bar to get the "free" tickets and an hour home about a month ago because a band I would have paid to see, was going to be free at my favorite venue, Jannus Landing and St. Pete, a mere 6 blocks from my office. I recruited a friend and off we went.

The band has now exploded onto mainstream channels, but started with one simple hit, "Broken." I heard the song early one morning and couldn't get past how amazing the lyrics were: "I like that you're broken, broken like me, maybe that makes me a fool. I like that you're lonely, lonely like me, I could be lonely with you." I did what I do best which was find them on Spotify and immediately devour the debut album of Lovelytheband.

Last year when I found this album my life was really in a huge state of upheaval for me. When I found this album it seems to reach out to all my mental health struggles, relationship struggles, feelings of inadequacy and lonely but surrounded by people parallels. I felt like it was written for me, which I hadn't felt in a couple years so it was really comforting. I quickly found multiple songs I loved but my favorite was called "Stupid Mistakes" and professed, "We all make stupid mistakes sometimes, but I make them more than most, and it's my fault that I live my life running away from ghosts. Too many skeletons, too hard to keep them in the closet where they've been. We all make stupid mistakes sometimes you're the one that I miss the most."

Going to concerts is like a religious experience for me. The way that some people connect when they are at church is me at a concert, especially a concert where the band's entire album or collection has profoundly affected me. These rights go to: Hanson, Death Cab for Cutie, Dashboard Confessional, Rilo Kiley, The Decemberists, Cake, and Ben Folds to name the most dominant. 

This free concert event came to me with reservations. I'm too old to deal with drunk kids spilling beer on me and being unaware and insensitive. The bar fights and people too drunk or high to know they are at a show aren't cute or benign anymore, they make me jaded and cynical and annoyed. But I wanted to see Lovelytheband before they were "too cool" and lost the ability to play small venues. 

The entire night was actually great. Not only did I have perfect company, but the opening band was from St. Pete and sounded fine, the second act I had just happened upon from the same station and they reminded me of other bands I loved back in my youth and they put on quite an amazing set, and Lovelytheband played all of my favorites off of the album. 

When they played their hit "Broken" the lead singer spoke about being young and being sad but not really knowing why he was sad and said, "Sometimes it's okay to not be okay and never feel badly asking for help. Asking for help is great!" He spoke about mental health awareness and it kicked me right in the feels. It was so perfect. 

I had had a weird end to my week with amazing news, frustrating news, relieving news, extra hurdles, late bedtimes, not enough food, too much stress and just feeling anxious about multiple things. I had felt the love and support from some of my favorite people while all the while feeling a little isolated. It was quite literally all the feels and happy struggles, but struggles still and then I had such an inspiring musical end.

After the concert I had a weird, miraculous event that I can only hope was some good karma after a strange week. I had walked my friend to her car in a neighboorhod I knew well. I had just had a kind homeless man tell my tired self that I looked beautiful while walking back to the parking garage at my work complex, which is apartments with retail space. Before the show I wanted to take the least amount of stuff with me, so I took off my car keychains, and my key card for my office. I thought, I don't need to get back into the building anyway, just into the parking garage so no biggy.

I had done this once before with no issue but had my whole purse and entered through the lobby. This time I didn't need all the extra stuff. I had just text the sitter that I would be exactly on time as predicted. The night had gone as I expected which was such a strange comfort. When I ran into the parking garage, they had lowered a gate and locked a doorway I had never even seen before. It seemed to have a weird punch code with numbers. And I didn't have my key card to get in through the building. It was locked in my car, behind that gate. Oh my gosh, HOW WAS I GOING TO GET IN TO GET MY CAR TO GET HOME.

I had thought quickly on my feet and called my friend immediately thinking, okay worst case she can get me home to the sitter, we could get my car tomorrow and I'd have to write the babysitter a check or get her cash tomorrow because I locked my money safely in my car so it couldn't get lost or stolen at the show. I dialed my friend and got 3 rings in. Someone pulled in to come into the garage and the gate opened, I followed them in. It happened to be the resident that parked exactly in front of my car and I mouthed a relieved "Thank you" to her while she was on her phone.

When my friend picked up the phone after I had scampered past the huge gate, I said, "I thought I had an issue but I'm good now." I rushed to get out as if worried I'd be stuck and on the drive home was just praying thankfully. I thought, I would have been there forever waiting. Or had to make my friend drive me home. Or pay for an uber. WOW. How weird that I didn't know they had a main gate, I'd never seen it closed. I didn't have my key card, which I always do, and a car pulled in to let me in as I had almost begun to panic. WOW. I felt like the universe gave me a pat on the back after the musical therapy as an affirmation that things would keep being muddled through and I would prevail.

Music has always been a form of therapy but after last night it just reminded me that I'm at my best when I'm around live music. My voice is hoarse today, I'm exhausted and look haggard but it was all worth it for the dose of musical serenity. I feel blessed. It was worth every dime for the babysitter and every extra yawn. If you ever want to know me well, take me to a concert, it nourishes my soul to be around music and especially a good crowd that appreciates it as well.

With that said I hope to lock in an early bed time as my party days are numbered but feel so blessed to have had last night as another part of living my best life in the books. I may not have gotten a ticket stub, t-shirt or bumper sticker but I got the full concert experience and had some good karma after. Now back to reality. 

Musical Mom Moments

I'm that weird breed of person that music can legitimately alter my entire day and mood. I will listen to the same song on repeat for like an hour if I think it's awesome and it speaks to me. I spent hours of my childhood reading CD inserts, learning lyrics or just listening to the albums over and over to memorize everything. I can now remember those lyrics perfectly, the artist that sang them, and have a good idea of when they came out, but usually can't remember why I just walked into that room. Because motherhood and adulting rock.

I've been making my daughter listen to music since she was conceived and, very much like my parents, have ingrained in her a sense of epic eclectic taste. Another perk that I have, that my parents never did, was due to my 90's childhood, I know just about every pertinent Disney song by heart and often learn all the new ones too. When Moana came out I put that on Spotify immediately and tortured my daughter with "You're Welcome," on a regular basis. We still fight about me singing.

Lately she asks to listen to just "radio." Last week I was singing every 80's song and she was like, "Why do you know all of these? Seriously, Mom?" Why? Because the songs are epic and I am awesome. To me, music is life. 

Ironically, I never successfully played an instrument to where I actually learned it. Flute was like 4th grade maybe? Piano lessons 6th grade. What did I do? Voice lessons. Consistently. And then choir in high school. Sadly, I was never in a school-produced musical because the only year I tried out, I did a dual audition with a girl from my grade school that I had won out all previous solos to, and I was not picked for the musical because she was in the one last year and I was not. Politics man. P.S. she was not better than me, sorry not sorry.

Okay, back to the music. So music gets me through everything so I've passed that onto my daughter for sure. When Spotify came out, what everyone else hates that I thrive on is, you make your own playlists. As dumb as this may sound, I always wanted to be the person that collaborated on soundtracks in Hollywood. I always loved to collect movie soundtracks and used to think "Oh no, I would have put that song!," because I LOVE making playlists.

When I first started Boot Camp our trainer used to have this challenge of "Make a playlist and we'll alternate it in weekly." Challenge accepted. Even one of the grumpy older guys always asked for mine. Why? Because I rock, pun intended.

My daughter learned quickly that not only did I make her a Disney and Movie soundtrack playlist, but she could ask me to add things to it or remove them. Car rides became an adventure. There are certain songs I could never get sick of, and that even applies to Disney songs, but the "Life is a Highway" cover from the Cars soundtrack? Yeah I don't have to listen to that one maybe ever again.

What's funny is that the music my parents "tortured" me with is now what I listen to in random times of discontent. In 2018 I avidly rocked some Dire Straits, which my dad had on often through my parents divorce. It oddly hit me in a completely new way while going through a really crappy place personally and I had one of those, "Oohhhh,  I get it!," moments. 

I have a friend that claims he doesn't "Like the Beatles," and I said, "You mean they aren't your favorite thing like you wouldn't choose to put on Abbey Road for a drive home or you like turn them off on the radio?" He explained he just thought all the songs were dumb. I honestly had a moment where I was so afraid I may not be able to speak to him ever again. IT'S THE BEATLES! 

Now full disclosure, in my teen years I longed to be a Punk Rock Princess. I saw the movie Almost Famous when I was 17 or 18 and got so depressed I was born in the complete wrong era and that those days were over. But then I discovered live music and my best friend had a band that I supported blindly and they all got me into punk and I totally loved the loud and sometimes poetic lyrics. Most of it I just found fun.  

The Pacific Northwest is an amazing place for music. There was an intense Punk following and the Indie movement was huge when I was living there. Strangely I loved both. So one weekend I was avoiding the mosh pit at a NOFX show and the following I was at Rilo Kiley at some no name club wishing I could be Jenny Lewis when I grew up. My mission was concerts. I collected concert experiences and found epic bands because of it. And now have great stories!

As a result now I have the most random, and weird collection and taste for music you could ever think. Despite being endlessly teased, my favorite band is none other than Hanson, yes, MmmBop HANSON, although they are so much more than that, I can teach you! With that said, I also love Dashboard Confessional, Reel Big Fish, Foo Fighters, Death Cab for Cutie, The Decemberists, Flogging Molly and way too many others to list!

My daughter tolerates most of it and some of my tastes have rubbed off on my husband, who will always follow me to any performance involving The Decemberists or Jenny Lewis but has only been dragged to one event involving Hanson. 

I totally wish for my child to grow up as obsessed with music as I am. So even when it drives me nuts all she wants to listen to is the My Little Pony Soundtrack, I totally let her rock that over and over because it's what she loves most right now! 

I think music is very underrated in terms of healing abilities because I will say that in my darkest moments, when I've found a song or album that speaks to me and makes me feel "gotten" and less alone, it relieves so much stress. 

Music is such an amazing gift and one that I feel goes unappreciated. Sure not all music is "good" or noteworthy but if one band reaches one person who needs it that day? Mission accomplished. I hope everyone has a favorite band, no matter how embarrassing, and that they find music to be therapeutic and amazing. My days can get infinitely better with the right soundtrack. So what's on yours?