Wrangling The Kiddos, Wild And Free

I have one mom friend that lives 5 minutes away and we often plan major adventures for the two 6 year old children and the one 3 year old, not to mention for ourselves. We do parks, beach, downtown festivals in the harbor and random in home play dates. We let our children be insane together to save our sanity as mothers.

With my dad in tow, yesterday we went down to the Safety Harbor Shabby Chic festival to keep our children from touching everything but to get ice cream type treats. We made two stops for sugar and then let the children run wild down at the marina. I think we ended up walking almost 2 miles with three children.

The entire walk consists of my friend and I yelling a mix of: "Don't touch that. Get that out of your mouth! Keep your pants on! Pull your pants up! Shirt down! No one wants to see that! No, we're not buying that. Leave that dog alone. Come on! Let's go! Watch where you are going! Keep walking!" We occasionally stop to laugh that we have to say such weird things and that our kids have almost no boundaries, especially when we are all together.

I looked at my dad at one point and said, "They're exhausting, right?" He said, "YES! Very much!" He admitted to me he's not sure he could parent today and he feels like things were simpler for my sisters and for me. Ironic because I'm not sure I could have parented back then!

With three kiddos out and about, my friend and I are always exhausted because it's a big, planned event of play, feeding them or snacking with them, and then breaking them free from each other which usually involves tantrums. They fight when they are together and complain when they are apart. It's funny and such a task all at once.

My daughter and my friend's son met in the park just before they were two and they very much have a love-hate relationship. When her daughter was born, Luna didn't quite get the point until she was old enough for her to boss her around. Now they are the three little amigos and do mostly well together.

They are more and more independent and need less hands on attention or interference but are exhausting still. Most of the things we plan also include and opportunity for the moms to kick back, enjoy and have fun also. We definitely try and do things to allow them to just run free and get covered in dirt and sweat. 

This is four years in of figuring them all out and I think us moms have realized our strengths and weaknesses with our own children and in turn, with each others. Three hours of crazy is well worth a chill evening in our humble opinions and we tend to do very well with maintaining each other's boundaries and balancing one another out.

I think my dad kind of just liked to watch it all happen. I mean who wouldn't? It's hilarious watching us chase and yell and repeat and repeat and repeat!

When it comes to days like those I always feel grateful when I finally hit the couch and stop moving. Luna usually retreats to some quiet Netflix time and maybe I do too. And then I sit and reflect on the fun. We have all had some epic trips.

We've done Disney, we've driven to new play places and nature parks and farms and zoos and aquariums. We've found new parks with new play structures. We've gone out for great lunches and had amazing treats to share. We play hard! And I love knowing that they will have these memories with each other of their epic childhood tales. 

Sure, there are tantrums and time outs and we yell and scream and cry. That goes for us moms too. But we support each other and help tackle this whole parenthood deal. It DOES take a village! And on a rainy day we can just go a mile down the road and trade who hosts the toy wreckage. It's awesome and what I wanted most for where we lived and for my daughter's childhood.

Wrangling the kiddos as they run wild and free can be daunting, annoying and exhausting, but it sure keeps things interesting. I wouldn't trade it for anything and I plan on using each story as blackmail for all three of these kids in their teenage years. Plus, we have a lot on video!

My Parents Were Never As Nice To Me, As I Am To My Daughter...Or So We Tell Ourselves

Have you ever gotten one of those brilliant ideas based on a memory from your childhood that embodies a sense of nostalgia but also makes you so excited to share with your little one as well? In my experience, these often blow up in my face. But maybe that's just me.

I had a normal kid childhood. LOTS of playing outside, roller skating, riding bike, getting dirty, and plenty of swimming in the summer. Living with a little one in Florida has its hurdles but as soon as my little one was of age, I wanted to do all the things with her. The first lesson in outdoor fun was her getting bitten by weird creatures that left welts and discolored bruises or a rash. Now when we go visit Oregon and Pennsylvania, her favorite thing is being barefoot with no ant bites. And less humidity.

Swimming for me was a mess. I still can't swim well, but my daughter is a much better swimmer than I could ever be. I was the kid who got tossed into the deep end and could just barely dog paddle. At least we eased into it with my daughter. As someone with water issues, I was very receptive to any extra anxiety she could have. But she is like a little fish!

Now roller skating was the worst idea I've ever had. I think the first time we tried she was 4. Oh my gosh. They now have these ridiculous "trainers" which are like rolling walkers like old people use to help keep you up. I have a few things to say about this: When your skates get caught under them, you instantly trip and...my parents would have never paid for one of those things. In fact, I don't remember my parents "taking me" skating. I got dropped off and dragged around that rink with cousins or friends and if you fell? Too bad so sad, get up before you get rolled over! You just kept trying! Over and over!

For riding bicycle I remember my dad helping me a lot but my daughter and I just fight. She has legitimately fallen maybe once. The others were more like tip overs and she never even bled. I was the queen of falling off my bike. But if you stayed to cry, you got left behind. I push my daughter to just go! We fight and she'll relive those days in therapy I'm sure. Because I refuse to let her quit, or not learn how to ride a bike. I am determined to make sure we will ride together one day, no matter how much she whines.

As far as getting dirty, my kid is too much like me. I used to say I disliked getting dirty, but then I would spend a weekend with my little boy cousins and that would go right out the window. I always was outside making things with nature, picking plants, playing with and collecting rocks and having adventures. My daughter is the same. While other girls are playing make-up and nails, she is making rock islands and villages and all kinds of things with dirt and sticks and mud. And that's how it should me, in my humble opinion.

Don't get me wrong, she has a tablet. She is definitely a kid in the technological, smart phone world but these aren't things that keep us from being outside and certainly they don't keep us from play dates and other interactions. We keep all that stuff as low key as possible. I still believe kids need to be kids. 

In general, I have to say that I feel I'm way nicer to my daughter than my parents were to me. I don't remember being allowed to sneak into bed or do much more than use the bathroom in the middle of the night. I almost never got to pick what was on TV or what we watched. They took me to some movies and transported me to and from play dates but rarely stayed for the duration. And I was that weird kid that LOVED having a babysitter because my parents were lame. 

I know there are a lot of jokes about  parents and kids getting softer, being coddled and it was never like that "back in my day." There is some truth to it but mostly you figure out what works for you at the time that you're parenting. Sometimes I can be so calm and supportive and helpful to my little one. Other days I'm screaming at her because I asked 4 times already to put the damn shoes away! We all have our moments.

I like taking my daughter to do stuff. We had 3 epic years of Disney fun and memories. We have beach adventures and do crafting things, we go see movies, hit the zoo and aquarium, we do park play dates and get treats. Maybe my parents enjoyed some of those things too, or maybe they just suffered through for my enjoyment. You never know. 

I'm sure Luna will one day report I was not nice. I do speak fluent sarcasm, that's for sure, but I try and be "nicer" than the generation before me. I definitely have had moments where I've uttered the same things my parents did in my childhood that haunt me. Things about making extra messes when I clean and don't ruin my nice things. I then immediately feel bad and give them a treat because...I'm nicer to my daughter than my parents ever were to me!