A Normal Family Evening?

Yesterday was an anomaly in our household I feel. Perhaps if I explain this via the blog, I can better understand the phenomenon myself.

I left work insanely early for a dentist appointment. Not only did I get there on time and was taken almost immediately back, everything was fine. There were no complaints, no, "You should probably spend a thousand dollars on THIS." It was pretty painless and only took 30 minutes of my day. It was then I ventured to Target.

Yesterday I had to buy my child what will be her last car seat. It's a weird, bittersweet feeling and although she is 6 and a half and nearly 70lbs I am that mother who makes sure we follow the guidelines for car-seat safety rigorously. Going to Target for this was weird. I went to a Target I used to frequent when she was as baby. It was a store I knew well and used to love. Now it seemed unorganized and scattered. It was out of what I wanted and it was really obnoxious actually.

When I came home to finish up work stuff, my computer was being pretty horrible honestly. It wasn't working in a timely fashion and I ended up using my phone. To my pleasant surprise, my phone worked flawlessly. Had I known this, I could have saved myself a lot of stress. Now it is noted!

My husband actually rested well on his day off AND managed to knock out a bunch of chores we needed done. He then sent me to the gym for another round of punching, picked up the kid and made dinner so we could grab grandma and venture to our favorite haunt, Cold Stone.

We don't do this stuff, especially on weeknights. I don't say that lightly. We don't "go out" on weeknights. And when we stay in the schedules get lax or moved around to the point that things often go awry. I usually hide in my room and let the husband run the show. Yesterday he was on point and kept us on task so much so as to leave enough time for us to start my new favorite show, "The Righteous Gemstones," on HBO.

It was an oddly well put together evening and we all slept well and had fun with each other. Again, this isn't any kind of routine occurrence for the house of Chriss. I don't mean that to say we are a bunch of crazy, mean people who just can't stand each other but quality time is so hard to come by, as is pensive, agreed upon planning.

We have such crazy schedules and so much to do with not enough time to do it, so snagging an evening like that one was like a diamond in the rough. We talked about movies to see at Thanksgiving. We talked about our days and things we wanted to do this weekend. We laughed a lot. Even my mom was pretty tolerable.

These moments are ones I carry closely now. Time seems to be moving faster and faster and I'm more awake, aware and attentive now. The other night I was putting away laundry and spied on my daughter singing a song to the TV and then talking to the dog. She won't always be that cute.

My husband was gloating that he'd completed an entire chore list and started and finished a full laundry cycle without being asked or prompted, and instead of a sassy remark I high-fived him and said thank you.

I had an important conversation with my husband about some triggers and discomfort and where I was with certain weekend routines. We had time together that was real, and uninterrupted, which is rare for us.

This random list, is kind of a big deal in my world. No, it IS a big deal in my world. I realize some people have these things in place and just ease into these moments as no big deal but in my current place of healing and growth, you have to be so grateful for the little things because they make big things feel even bigger!

Someone I admire greatly once told me "Normal is what you know." He said this to me when I was wishing for a "normal family." The normal that I know now, comes leaps and bounds from a dysfunctional normal from a few years ago. I'll take what I can get and stay grateful.

I always say we're "traditionally untraditional" for a family meaning we kinda do our own thing. We have found what works and we keep it moving for us, but that semblance of "normalcy" last night was pretty amazing and I want to revel in it a bit.

We have an upcoming storm watch for us Floridians and when Irma hit, that was rough for our anxiety, our bank accounts and our sanity. This time we are communicating and ready for anything and that is the closest to normal we've ever been!

Blogging should stay consistent through Friday and the rest we'll have to see about as things culminate. Monday is a holiday regardless but we might be having some crazy weather. 

Missed Posts, Big Little Lies Binge, Back To Me

Yesterday I missed a post and for no other reason than I felt like crap. Detoxing off the evil meds has been better but still taxing and yesterday kicked my butt. So here I am on a Saturday, writing it out and sharing all the things.

I totally just needed to sleep it all off yesterday. I slept like crap Thursday night and just needed to go ahead and sleep it all off. I was lucky enough to leave work early and rest and reboot and party with friends last night. I finally just accepted things. I have no one to impress. I'm not trying to win some beauty pageant so as long as I'm healthy, what else is there? I work out 5 or 6 days a week at 30 minutes a pop, and I don't eat a bunch of junk. If that doesn't work then maybe I'll just stay where I am. I'm still at a lesser weight than I was when I started.

Tomorrow is the Big Little Lies season 2 premiere and season one was a huge thing for me. Not only does it keep all my favorite actors in one series, but the stories of marriage, relationships and parenthood hit home hardcore. And after my disappointment with Game of Thrones, I need something great in my life.

Silly things today have made me feel like I'm back to me. Snuggling, quiet cups of coffee, doggie cuddles, fresh sheets, piles of laundry to handle, homemade salads for dinner, big bowls of popcorn, my daughter watching her shows and movies and being calm, and the rain. We needed the rain and I love the rain.

In a disappointing exchange with the nurse practitioner at my doctor's office, all of the side effects I experienced she "had never heard of that happening." Thanks for the vote of confidence. Well, they did and for now, we're going to stay unmedicated, and happy I might add. I didn't realize how not uncomfortable I was, until that nasty medicine took it's toll on my body.

I'm sorry I missed a post but get ready next weekend because this writer is completely off. That's right I'm taking 48 hours of no posting to spend some much needed time with the husband. For tonight, I'm being lazy with my perfect kiddo and just enjoying that I feel almost completely back to me. Happy weekend readers!

Game Of Thrones Is Girl Power-tastic

If you have never watched any episode of Game of Thrones, this may be completely strange, but if you've read any of the books or are a crazy fan like myself, you'll follow along well. I can't promise there would be no spoilers in terms of references to the first 7 seasons, but I'll try and keep it general.

So, I got into Game of Thrones when it was 5 Seasons in and became obsessed quickly. The complicated plot lines, the character development, the fantasy mixed with medieval kinds of reality was just all so very welcome, not to mention the violence and gore, because sometimes that is artistic and necessary.

It launched it's 8th and Final Season last night and as I'm thinking of all these epic moments throughout the last decade of the show's production, I'm not sure you could coin the series as "feminist" per se, but perhaps at least some pretty amazing exhibitions of the ultimate girl power.

I could easily break it down by each female character I've loved, but I'll focus on the 5 main characters I hold dear that prove regularly that women kick ass. We have Queen Daenerys Targaryen, Brienne of Tarth, Sansa Stark, Cersei Lannister, and my personal favorite, Arya Stark.

Let's start with Daenerys, who has her whole family lineage to live up to and was sold into some version of slavery by her power-thirsty brother. Through the course of the show she is raped, chained and bound let by a horse, and constantly told what she cannot be in terms of standing alone, and she basically finds a way to say "I don't need a man, I make my own future." She has one brief experience of marriage and then returns to being solo, where she cultivates her bad-assness carefully. She stumbles along the way and makes some impulsive decisions but we love her as this "promised queen," figure.

We watch her punish those that talk shit or get in her way. Anyone that doesn't stand with her is more or less against her and they will learn to respect her or perish, inevitably. What I love about her is that she consistently carries herself with grace. You rarely see her break her composure, even when things aren't going very well.

Brienne of Tarth is just a tall, fierce woman. She got picked on by the boys for her size in her youth and then learned to fight with them, wield a sword and generally take names as a woman "Knight" if you will. She loves being a protector, as it is where she thrives. She pays almost no attention to men. Any attraction we get a whiff of is often sweet and subtle, also with no expectation from her. Her world doesn't revolve around men but she realizes they have to coexist.  I feel like Brienne looks closely after other women, which is serious girl power in my eyes. Rather than be catty and jealous she just wants to kick the ass of anyone who tries to hurt the people she cares about. 

Sansa Stark is quite the epitome of an evolution in character development. She was this young, pathetic "stupid girl," who's hopes and dreams seemed to get the best of her leaving her to find her way. While she had a woman of power in her midst to guide her, she struggled with finding her footing more often than not. She had seen the good and evil in men, and she was cautiously optimistic. Sansa was beaten and raped, sold into more "acceptable" forms of slavery like arranged marriages with psychopaths and lusting older men trading her around in power plays, but she commanded presence and asked for help when necessary, fighting to persevere.

Sansa is the one we've seen cry often and she's not afraid to ugly cry it out. Sansa is our emotional but strong goddess figure. She has been through some seriously traumatic shit and is consistently underestimated by the men around her, always having to prove herself but being silently smart and calculated, unafraid to take control and usually ends up helping to vastly improve a bad situation. Sansa also has never been afraid to properly show her cautious fear, but also show her determination to get herself out of a challenging issue. When she speaks eloquently with sass, I fall in love with her a bit more. Plus she's a redhead, so I instinctively flock to her.

Cersei Lannister is one bad bitch. She is completely evil, narcissistic, rash, and even cruel, but she has also been through some shit. She lost her mother at a young age, was sold into an arranged marriage with a man that detested her. She only believes in family and is a true testament to the entire realm of the power of a mother's love. She has been humiliated and tortured, but might be the most vicious killer of all the women on this list in the fact that she leaves far more unnecessary casualties. She is ruthless.

What I love about Cersei is that we are meant to hate her. She's not like-able yet, you admire her strength, resilience and fortitude. She's always undermining anyone in her way and taking any steps necessary to make sure nothing can get past her. She is very cut-throat and vengeful but leaves you in awe of her capacity to be so horrible and manipulative. She definitely has the "Queen" thing down and rules entirely with fear. She has only shed tears in frustration or worry, I'm not sure we've seen much sadness but rather cold hard grief. She, too, carries herself well and inevitably to be a bad bitch. She might be like the Oscar-winner of Resting Bitch Face.

Last but not least is my personal idol and all around ultimate bad ass, Arya Stark. From the little girl rejecting "lady of the house" and "Princess" cultural norms to someone who got herself across an ocean to train to take revenge on the people that hurt her family, you never dislike Arya, but boy do you learn you would never want to mess with her!

Arya grows up before our very eyes on this series. She is the epitome of a Tom boy and happens to find many random protector figures to aid her survival and let her grow, form her strength, inevitably to require no protection. She goes through some serious torture, but evades the rape and marriage stuff as she's still quite young, but also exhibits not a shred of concern or interest in men at all, other then learning to defeat them, should the opportunity come.

She has had a list of people to take down to avenge her family and she set her goals and followed them. Against all odds she has withstood some intense wounds and lessons, seen a world her sister never has and got some real life education in people-watching and just how messed up things can be. Arya has played the fates with some God-like figures, to which the other women seem to disregard, so I'm interested in how that plays out. Regardless, Arya is a force to be reckoned with, to say the least.

In the wake of the Me Too campaign and Time's Up things, I think a show like this, as fantastical as it may be, speaks worlds to what women as a gender have to put up with and suffer to get their shot at a position of power. This may sound a little contrived but I think the graphic nature of this show, pushing boundaries and making us see and imagine such evils, is just a testament to how strong we are as a gender, and that we're on our way up on the ladder.

These characters make me proud. The suffering of Sansa and Daenerys especially, I feel is a subversive homage to what we are expected to overcome and deal with as women. It may be medieval in nature on the show, but I think that millions of women can relate to the psychological and physical trauma withstood by these women on their way to their life, status and, in a way, career goals.  

I think that as a whole, Game of Thrones champions the power of women. Among the main females is also Melisandre who conjures the Lord of Light and Missandei, who knows like 40 languages and recovered from being enslaved and was given the chance to support another woman in power. Then we have, Yara, the Queen of the Iron Islands that sails her own fleet with the big boys, the women of House Tyrell, Marjorie and Olenna, who manipulated their way into power with their strengths, and lastly the Sand Snake sisters in Dorne who were trained in combat and held themselves well, especially in an attack. There are so many others too! I feel like the series is covered in all different manners, ideas, stereotypes, and iconic rolls of women. 

I won't speculate as to how I think it ends but I just want to say that I appreciate how diverse the show is, and especially in terms of giving women the chance to prevail and share their complex stories, interwoven through the plot lines. So thanks for the kick of Girl Power, Game of Thrones. I can't wait to see how you empower women the rest of this season!