Case of the Mondays; Still Recovering From Three Kid Weekend Bonanza

This morning has been, "Just another Manic Monday, Ooooh oooh." Work has involved unnecessarily difficult customers with long-winded phone calls and the busy work seemed to be never ending. Here I am after my lunch run, finally getting to my blog and putting off a few things that can definitely wait.

So this past weekend I had my friend's son and daughter as house guests and I learned that I am 1000% supposed to only have one child. More importantly, I have a higher appreciation for anyone with more than one child, and the utmost respect and appreciation for the life and child I have created. I didn't realize how QUIET my house is with just her. Immediately, things that were once so easily done, required more tact or extra help and the things I had become accustomed to were on hiatus.

The perfect example would be going to the bathroom. Immediately I banned all children from my master bedroom and bathroom unless being given my permission for anything otherwise. I figured I needed some kind of "safe zone." I would close my bedroom door and my bathroom door but then they would bust in with some kind of issue. I couldn't even pee alone! My daughter is 6 now so I am much more used to being able to go to the bathroom alone. Not this weekend, though.

Peeing alone is like a mom-luxury that is always coveted. It was one of my favorite things about going back to work! There was no kid busting open a stall; no uncomfortable complaints about a smell from a nearby stall by the tiny person yelling at you to hurry it up. 

As far as the bed time stuff, my daughter goes down quietly and early. These kids cry loudly and go later. By Sunday I was a mombie and felt hungover from life. I could barely remember what or if I ate anything, all I knew was to have everything the kids could possibly need ever and keep feeding them. They ate their way through Saturday, Hungry Caterpillar style.

When my friend picked them up she joked, "Now you know what my life is like." I thought, well yes maybe but I think we all have a special place and special kind of patience for our own children that just doesn't always transition to "the other kids."

My husband hit it outta the ballpark helping as much as he could but Sunday morning I just hit this mental limit where I couldn't really deal very well. It was loud, there was no such thing as enough coffee and I couldn't think straight. I'd had not 10 minutes of peace because it was "take time for you, or get sleep so you can handle tomorrow." I always choose sleep. 

After the kiddos had left, my husband and I kicked into high gear on putting the house back in functioning order and by about 3PM all of us could barely move. My daughter was happy to not share and argue and watch hours of My Little Pony or play tablet. I was soooo happy that I could watch something without being chased after every 10 minutes. You could hear TVs but there was no other noise. 

What's in the Joni Mitchell song? "Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you got til it's gone?" Yeah all of that and more.

Besides the fact that we had children staying with us, I realized how much I had become accustomed to my coping mechanisms, my down time, my rebooting, and my mindful eating practices that having them disrupted, even for 48 hours just really messed me up mentally. It was like I started shutting down and not being able to formulate complete thoughts. It was super stressful.

It definitely made me ready for vacation but also made me super grateful for raising my daughter to enjoy her down time, just like her mother does. She was just as exhausted and mentally spent when they left, I could tell. I knew she liked having the company, but I also know how hard it is not to be able to just be yourself in your own place. 

This morning was a little frenzied and mentally I felt like it pushed me right back into that stressed place but I took a good run on lunch and kind of got myself out of the funk. This weekend was a lot of learning about myself but I feel good about that. I feel like the lessons were imperative to keep my forward momentum and stay the path to positive growth. I know it sounds hippie but, it feels like that is what I'm working with.

The kids had fun. There were many smiles and lots of silly memories made. There were nonsensical arguments and constant tattling. There were many funny things said and really weird things done but they had a good time.

So I'm still recovering from Three Kid Weekend Bonanza and my Friday vacation launch can't come soon enough but I'm here! I came, I blogged, I conquered! Happy Monday readers!

New Shows, New Crafts, New Projects - No Motivation

Since I've been in the process of the un-funk, I take everyone else down with the ship, so to speak. I have this amazing habit, of when I don't know what to watch or what to do with myself, I turn on The Office or Friends. Mostly, The Office gets the pick. Comfort zones just so familiar and easy.

I've made myself watch all new, unfamiliar shows. Success. I've started podcasting. Success. I started new workout stuff, still new but success. And now I've pushed it onto my kid.

We had dinner outside this week because why the hell not? We read new books this week together because we could. And I'm forcing her to try new shows because she defaults to watching My Little Pony Friendship is Rare, like I watch The Office, over and over and over again. 

She has not been an easy sell. I've been pushing new PBS-like things from Prime. Pete the Cat was so far my only success.

My sisters are wonderful at sending me real projects to do with my child. Like lengthy, time consuming projects. One is a sewing kit. We have a half made puppy. She gets very frustrated quickly and easily on this one. Now we are working on a home-made pinata kit. Yes, my daughter has recently discovered the wonder that is a pinata. And I mentioned this to my sister and in her recent Easter care package, the pinata kit was waiting for her.

She is currently gluing fringe on the Pinata talking at me. It's pretty much the best.

My dad, my daughter and I all share the incessant need to have projects and create in times of mental stress and anxiety. Sometimes I hate that I passed it down to her but in the instance of the pinata it's amazing.

The worst part is my motivation is flailing. I really need to step it up. I make no apologies for being tired. I work full time have a kid and dog and husband. I'm a tired mama; there are not enough hours in the day.

But I am very much that person who just feels the drive to improve and push, push and improve, consistently. I will always work harder, or extra if I can get to some of my goals. 

The new shows are fun because I feel like Netflix and the like are just never-ending watch lists. How are we supposed to make a dent in that? I've found the Good Place, Glow and of course, Maniac as mentioned before. My daughter found some new Barbie Series, Give a Mouse a Cookie and Pete the Cat.

New crafts are always fun. I consider myself a ghetto crafter. For me it is always about cheap supplies and it never has to look, just right. The important thing is the creativity, in my humble opinion. 

I always have a list of new projects, how many of them actually start and are completed in reasonable amounts of time is a whole different thing. I'm not one to take on too big of things when I know they will sit unfinished because that is the stuff that bugs me. However, projects make me happy. 

So here it is, a silly Saturday filled with cleaning and craziness. There are always looming plans, play dates and dysfunctions. I have laundry to fold and people to see. While I'm feeling calm and far more peaceful than a few weeks ago, I'm very aware of the wobbly-ness. This has been mentioned before as a favorite word and I still embrace it, completely.

I've been around enough of the stress of others to know where to take a step back and where to watch new shows, start new crafts and keep finding new projects for sure. So enjoy this weekend and I'm sure I will have an entire entry devoted to that of the pinata adventure soon!

My Little Pony, So I Guess This Is My Life Now

It's on in the living room right now. My daughter is legitimately obsessed with My Little Pony. My Little Pony has come a very long way since the 80's, I will say this, and we also made it this far into parenthood without the obsessions and crazes coming in full blast, so that's a win also.

She went through a bit of a Doc McStuffins phase, but this My Little Pony thing is a full blown love affair. As far as what is available and interesting to children her age, My Little Pony is pretty palatable. It's not too obnoxious or bratty and even the merchandising isn't as intensive as say, Disney-related things.

Now, I've made clear before that I don't judge the kid stuff. I literally bought into the Beanie Baby craze, I loved Polly Pocket, Littlest Pet Shop and of all fads, POGS. So I have no room to judge. I'm unsure if I will ever truly understand what a Shopkin is or what the point of Shopkins is but she's happy, I'm happy.

The Pony stuff, took over the 6th birthday in terms of theme, presents and every other aspect of her little realm. She watches it as often as we allow. We have Pony games on the tablet, she got Pony Chapter books and joke books, she has My Little Pony dolls, clothes, toothbrushes, crafts, stuffed animals, and music. 

The world of My Little Pony is layered and extremely real for any fan. It's got different kinds of Ponies, like Alicorn, Unicorn, Earth-Pony. It has different lands and realms, character conflicts, plot lines, the works. 

My husband actually turned me onto Patton Oswald's stand up about his daughter's obsession with My Little Pony and it is hilariously true how sucked in you can get as parents, whether you intend to or not. I definitely enjoy and appreciate the friendship themes.

The best thing is my daughter gets so excited about all the characters and what's happening, when and why. She loves telling us about every little phase, line and moment. She loves to share the world of Pony with anyone who will listen and she's extremely educated about it.

My life is now all Pony all the time. She's already vying for My Little Pony underwear. I foresee a My Little Pony Easter basket. I literally just heard her say "Rarity is just being a drama queen." It's too funny. 

I consider my daughter's obsession with My Little Pony to be the same as my obsession with say, The Office or Parks and Rec. So I let her watch on. If My Little Pony is her safe little realm of fun, I'm so supportive of her having that. 

So for now, I'll soak up every moment of her loving Ponyville, Equestria, Manehattan and so on and so forth. My favorite is Apple Jack, personally but my daughter is fond of Rainbow Dash. Yep, this is my life now. It's kind of awesome, right?

Kids Clothes - Hand Me Downs Are Life

I remember over-buying clothes for when she was cute and chunky and I could get away with forcing her into little outfits. But now that she's older, my daughter lives in hand-me-downs. 

Kids stain and ruin everything but that is because they play hard in all of their clothes. I'm fortunate enough to have a friend with 3 older girls and we have been so blessed with hand me downs in general. I almost never buy anything new for my daughter. Also, my mom is a shop-aholic and she buys my daughter all the unnecessary things. Not kidding.

With all the clothes, hand me down and new alike, my daughter still somehow manages to only wear the same 4 or 5 articles of clothing. I used to try and arrange her drawers so she wouldn't wear out anything too specific. She now puts her laundry away though and rifles through there to find her favorites. Lost cause!

When people buy her new stuff, she wears it immediately and repeatedly, but lately I have to remind her to "wear the new." Her pants hilariously always have the butts of them rub off in pattern or worn down the most. All that time on the slide, climbing and being crazy.

I had an old friend who had a baby a couple years after me and I offered to give her a bunch of gently used things. Her response? "We just want new stuff, but thanks." To each their own, and everyone loves a baby shower but I was taken aback because baby stuff is expensive! Kids stuff is expensive.

My friend and I always gripe about how expensive kids shoes are. It's ridiculous because they don't even get longevity their feet grow so fast! So we pass down sneakers to her young daughter often because we both believe them to be an obnoxious expense. 

When friends by my daughter clothes, I feel so grateful. A cute shirt, a new dress, they go a long way! My mom still insists on her having Easter outfits and others just like to keep her trendy. 

I honestly don't even know how we'd afford to cloth my daughter without them haha. But I also like telling Luna, "Those are from so and so," "Those used to be so and so's." When she knows she seems to like them even more like she got something so cool that was effortlessly shared.

I try to make sure we pass on the blessings as well, whether it be to Salvation Army or to kids we know personally. Clothing can certainly withstand children and some families are desperately in need. One kid's slightly off color Disney shirt is another kiddo's fancy new Frozen fashion! Everyone deserves a chance at dressing up in whatever way possible.

I myself was blessed with work clothes hand me downs from friends because I rarely buy myself anything new or even have time to shop. My husband gets a lot of shoes and t-shirts from friends. I'm always just grateful. And any old shirts can always be a nightshirt because I live for PJs. 

Being fashionable and trendy costs a lot of money, so I just do what I can, for us all. This year we splurged on matching Christmas shirts, because they were on sale. As for my kiddo? Sometimes we get some My Little Pony and Trolls gear but most people like to send those as gifts. 

I am so grateful for hand me downs, willing to share and will never turn down a nice gesture such as shared fashions. Bring on the shoes, swim suits and cute tops! We are open for accepting such gifts and thankful that we know wonderful people willing to share! My living room is all hand me down furniture. It's like a way of life and I live to be frugal! Feel free to share your favorite hand me downs or how you 

Yelling At Your Children: Why Do They Only Hear Certain Decibels?

For being such a short person, I'm freakishly loud. Being loud is natural to me. It's like I've had to make up for my legitimate shortcomings so I'm just boisterous and turned up volume-wise. This is very much like Monica on Friends, by the way; the similarities are uncanny.

However, when I yell, I YELL. It all started with the dog. You gotta blame the dog! Dogs are like training for kids only they don't talk back as much, or so we thought when we got our pug. He was and is a great dog for the most part but when I've yelled, I've yelled very loudly. As someone already loud, just imagine my volume when I need to be...louder. I can reach different cities I bet!

I don't think the real kid-yelling phase started until Luna was about 2, and mostly it was out of "Be careful" and not so much in scolding. The car accident knocked me down a peg or two in terms of perspective on what is yell-worthy, but age 5 has tested everything. 

You know how when kids need your attention, they say "Mom, mom, mom," continuously for an infinite time? It doesn't matter if you're in the bathroom, on the phone, concentrating on something, reading or literally speaking to someone else standing in front of them, they must have your immediate attention. As moms we can drown it out to a point but then they raise their voices and at some point, and then, personally, I crack and the mom loud comes out! Like a mom mega-phone.

My daughter is too much like me and when the TV is on, nothing else is happening. I'm just in the zone when I'm into a show, and so is she if My Little Pony is on. Then the attention-getting voice goes from its normal tone, to louder than said TV program and finally to, "YOU NEED TO HEAR ME NOW BEFORE I TOSS THE TV IN THE TRASH."

And I swear they only hear you when you're so loud you feel like you're screaming in a horror movie and then they get upset that you're loud. It's such a weird cycle. Now, I don't know about any other moms, but I always immediately have this gut check of "Aw man now I've completely wrecked her for life and need to start saving for therapy because I yelled too much!," so then I go apologize.

In the past 2 years I've actually started to be brutally honest with my daughter when it comes to life things. "Mommy was mad because daddy hurt her feelings and then she was just sad for the day." "Mommy needs to not watch Daniel Tiger for another hour but have a little time in her room." "Mommy is hungry and cranky and done with today!"

She seems to respond better to this than any time I mimic her tantrums whether to actually mock her or because I myself am at that mental breaking point. Sometimes the teasing is a distraction she needs and loves. Sometimes she just gets mad I'm teasing her. We fight a lot, we're mom and daughter.

You read all these parenting books and hear all these ideas from other parents about how yelling is harmful and such, but then you just reach your boiling point and it's the only trick you have left. I am mindful about it, but sometimes as moms, you gotta just yell! 

I don't remember being yelled at unless I was seriously in trouble, but I remember fearing the "yell" to the point where I would tread lightly. My daughter doesn't seem to do this. She just kind of physically cowers when the loud comes out and I always remind her that I don't yell to scare her, I yell to grab her attention like I would if she were far away.

One thing that yelling does is create that fear, which I struggle with. I don't want my kid to be afraid of me in the sense that I'm an enemy or "Momster." I want that respect kind of fear like, "Don't mess with mom!" I think we all do. As women, sometimes I feel that we just want that power of, "I'm super nice until you cross me, and then fear my wrath!" 

Think of all the memes that portray this for "Resting Bitch Face" and the "Mom stare" for when you need your kid to know he or she is in trouble but you're out in public trying not to create a scene. It's all so ridiculous, but it's what we do.

Yelling is even ridiculous if you think about it, but it's what we do. My daughter yells at me too. In that way, we have the perfect relationship. I'd sit here and devise a resolution to not yell, but in most circumstances it's almost like a reflex; I barely realize until my voice is getting hoarse. Other times I can scale it back and I do. 

I truly believe that, like dogs, sometimes your children can only hear and respond to certain decibels and as moms we have a natural talent for hitting said decibels to command attention. Most other moms that are "yellers" like me, have the same sentiment of "Why do I HAVE to yell!??" But it seems to just be some kind of primal and natural thing. 

And, as someone who is just naturally loud, being told to take it down just provokes me to want to be louder, much like my child being told to use her "inside voice." What can I say? We're a work in progress. After all is said and done at least we were heard though!