The First Day After The Vacay Post

After returning from vacation last night, staying up too late unpacking, unwinding and trying to wrap my head around re-entering routines and reality, I am now settling back and figuring out a decent pace with which to do so and can sit down and write.

Part of me assumed I'd have so many blog post ideas I'd have to figure out which one first, but really, my car ride into work left me feeling wobbly and tired. So here I am grasping at my bearings. 

This trip was a learning experience. I could say they all are, but not so much. I mean I've learned how to pack, I've learned how to stress less but the phases of childhood, adulthood and marriage, are all learning experiences anyway, so throw in a trip and it's like free tuition.

My daughter's practice of picky kid eating was brutal and because I had to plan so delicately for that, not only could I barely practice my mindful eating, but I really couldn't report if I over-ate at all. I had no mindset for it. And if I was hungry and there wasn't food, oh well. I know I drank too much Starbucks, but that is all. I barely snacked and when the opportunity for a real meal came up, I indulged because, hello, vacation.

I learned that being "tough," directive and correct about things doesn't make you any friends. I learned that in the right company you can have your needs met with no argument, but instead with open arms, understanding and gratitude. I learned that family is just family, no matter what.

I think this trip was a complete lesson in practicing what you preach, picking your battles and just taking what you can from what's in front of you. There was rain, sun, tears, smiles, and a lot of compromises. I actually had only one meltdown on vacation and then about an hour into being back home I lost it and screamed aloud in the kitchen.

Some of my favorite parts of our trip were at our most volatile moments in fact. On our flight north, my daughter was completely irate that I had mixed up the terminals and there was no Chik-Fil-A only PDQ and she lost it. I calmly salvaged everything and settled for a Lunch-able, a can of Pringles and Chocolate Milk for dinner. The following morning she ate her weight in sausage at the continental breakfast. She was upset and we were walking around the terminal looking for food. I was talking her down. I kept saying 'The getting there is the worst part and you're allowed to feel all the frustration but we can make it work."

I saw an older motherly-type smile compassionately at me even though my daughter was audibly hating me. When we boarded our flight I said "Okay, please be aware of other people and not to bonk into them and you may pick our seats." The same woman we passed was front and center on our flight, already boarded and she said kindly, "You're doing good mom," to me. That was a great moment for me. I liked kindness and support.

My daughter did well until we were awaiting the shuttle at the hotel. She just lost it and I let her sit on the luggage. There was a sweet flight attendant watching my daughter's meltdown, amused at the display and she said, "You know, I was with my 4 year old at Wal-Mart late one night, getting close to bed time. She was talking back and the cashier said, 'I don't know why kids think they can be bratty just when they're tired.' I about smacked that cashier like, 'She's 4! She's tired! And she's my kid! Kids gotta be kids!'" When I finally loaded her into the shuttle that woman said, "You're doing good mom! You got this!"

Those two moments were just the little pick me up I needed to get me through. There were times when my daughter was just straight mean to me, and miserable because of whatever reason. And I just had to get her to a calm space and rationalize. There were a few times I grabbed her arm in a public place and said "ENOUGH!" More often I just let it slide, why? Because she's a human kid completely out of her normal routine. I weighed the importance of "disciplining" her and just letting her be a bit of a kid, which seemingly only bothered my husband.

I think travelling is just stressful and hard, so making it any worse by being "at" each other doesn't serve much of a purpose in my opinion. I think my daughter did phenomenally well in retrospect but there were times when I wanted to lose it on her, for sure. What mom doesn't have those moments daily and especially in high stress situations.

I've become pretty rational with her lately. I've started saying "Okay here is your issue, here are the options, what choice are you making?" I've coddled her and done what I could to pacify in a few situations but I've also made her toughen up a bit.

Yesterday she was very itchy from some bug bites. We had plenty of cortizone cream. We changed shoes. We tried with and without socks. By the end of the day she was just completely done. She slept so hard on the plane and woke up enraged and ready to get home. When we were in the airport I saw some of the dirty looks from people thinking I was this mom letting her child be "neglected" or "whiny." She wasn't bleeding, she was uncomfortable, it happens. Then I had a guy on the escalator smile after my daughter let out a huge whiny exclaim and he said, "We all feel the way she does, we just aren't letting it out like her!"

At the baggage claim another mom said, "I've had those days. I have a 7 year old and 4 year old. Their dad has been with them all of 4 hours and cannot wait for me to get home. You're doing good." Then an older gentlemen said "They grow up to be better," showed me a picture of his redheaded granddaughter and proudly reported her starting college. Even our ride home was okay with her yelling at me the whole way home. 

Yelling at her about any of it, wouldn't have solved the situation and the same went for the entire trip. My biggest meltdown was mostly quiet and born out of the feeling that no one was grateful for where we were, where we had been and what we were able to see. I felt like up to that point I had compromised my ass off, was being "told how things would go," and I just wasn't having it. 

My meltdown at home was born out of a lot of the same things but for different reasons. I didn't have expectations that my home would be pristine and waiting for me, but I hadn't anticipated or felt it deserved to have extra work in my way of settling back in. The first day back after vacation is always rough because you've had all this time away adventuring and then you're slammed back into routines and schedules, I always just hope that there are things in place to lessen the blow of the transition, rather than amplify. Then again, to practice what I preach boy did I have my low expectations train arrive at a grinding halt at the station!

This trip showed me infinite gratefulness. I felt so well taken care of by the people I love the most. I felt like we were appreciated for taking the time to be around everyone and in more ways than one. I felt so lucky and blessed to have been a part of everything. I felt calm, loved and at ease which I can honestly say hasn't always been the case on trips of the past.

I opened my eyes to a lot through this experience, especially in reference to my daughter and husband. I'm a little tired. I'm a little stressed to get back into things, but I know I'll be okay and things will even out after some time re-adjusting. For now, send coffee and hugs and I'll be getting back on the blogging track as well. Happy Monday!

The Disney Days

One of the most magical things about living where we do in the colorful, lawless swamp of Florida is we are only about 90 minutes, give or take traffic, away from the happiest place on earth, yes, Walt Disney World. When my daughter was turning 2 and was still free admission at Disney, my sister in Oregon insisted they come down and be there for her first visit. Thus started 3 more years of Disney magic, memories and adventures.

In Florida, residents can get a pass and pay on it monthly like any other bill. This gets them into Disney whenever, depending on the pass level, includes parking and they get additional discounts. If you use it enough it definitely pays for itself. This was like a challenge to us; we wanted to get our money's worth!

We had some of the most amazing times those few years. Oddly enough the Disney trips were always the bright spots when our family was going through our worst emotional and mental times. There was a 6 month period of time when we went every other Sunday and told people we were attending the United Church of Disney. It was a fun thing we always looked forward to.

Some days the trips were for the kiddo. Some days the trips were for mom and dad, depending. Ironically no matter how annoyed we were with each other, no matter how stressful life was, we managed to put all that behind us and just get incredibly lost in the magic of it all. We would watch the other families and the ones that came from far and wide and feel grateful that Disney World was in our metaphorical back yard.

My daughter always loved meeting the characters. My husband and I loved the whole "Tetris" scheme of fitting in the character meets between fast passes and rides and navigating the parks. We had it down to a science at one point where we knew how to pack food and snacks, how to pack water and where and how to buy treats when necessary. One treat was always the Mickey Ice Cream bar and there was a 5 month period where my daughter managed to get one free each time we went. I think she was just that cute.

We were that family that couldn't have a bad time at Disney. We always saw one family at Disney just irate and miserable and it always made us a little more grateful. We always pushed past our exhaustion for the fun. We had more patience at Disney than we did on any other day, and we always made sure each one of us got to do something we wanted that day or overnight.

We found favorite places to stay, ones that were only okay, and made amazing memories and have wonderful stories to tell. We've been without passes almost 2 years and I'm itching to go back. What can I say? I'm a Disnerd.

In my childhood when everything was sucky, my dad took me and my best friend whose life was equally sucky, if not moreso, to Disney World and we still hail that at the best trip ever, until we took all of our girls there 2 years ago and made dreams come seriously true.

I'm really missing it lately and I don't know why. Things are so calm with us. We are on a strict budget and kicking butt. The reason we stopped was because we couldn't afford it at the time, but also my daughter wouldn't try any of the big kid rides and point blank told me she was too impatient to wait to see the characters. We've been on a hiatus and I may cave as a Christmas present to myself. 

When we had passes we had so many family members say they didn't know how we could go all the time. It was pretty easy because we made it a bunch of mini-vacations. During that time we couldn't afford flights places and didn't have paid vacations so little overnights and adventures were all it was about to get is through the year. We made the best of what we could and we always made each other laugh. Something about that theme park atmosphere that took all of our anxieties and put them to good use in being organized, thoughtful and productive.

When we were able to take my best friend and her 3 daughters to Disney in 2017 we literally made it a dream vacation and did it well. They had the best time ever and it will forever be a memorable adventure. I'd never felt so happy being with a bunch of people at Disney. We all had our fun and rode coasters and traded who rode what with whom, and where people sat. We laughed and made fun of things, played games in the line and just had a blast.

I think Disney is just a fun place for us. It's our own little get-away and we have fun being nostalgic and living in the magic. We love the shows, the rides, the characters and the food. I think Disney is our escape back into our childhood but with our kiddo right there so we can all be silly and happy, no matter what else is going on. 

I'm sure other people feel this way too or it wouldn't be such a popular spot but I definitely miss our Disney days. Now we are too busy to Disney it up, or maybe we just need to get it together enough to get it back into the routine. For now I look back at the memories with love and smiles knowing we'll make more at some point. I'll definitely be the first one to crack though.