Trying On Clothes Is Not My Favorite

In a fit and purge a few months ago, I ditched most of my clothes. No, I did not watch "Tidying Up," but I did get rid of plenty that did not "spark joy." While this was freeing, it also left me with some limitations. We have had two weddings to attend this year and weddings scream, "New dress."

I will out myself as nothing less than "cheap." In years before baby, shopping was my cardio. I longed for the stuff. As soon as I had a baby and had all the baby stuff, my stuff got old, neglected and uncomfortable. I feel like I've downsized and reprioritized a lot over the years, but it has definitely left me with less to choose from. In some ways this is great, and in others it can get stressful.

I recently fell back in love with Old Navy. They've had amazing styles and prints this season, and with the sales things are very affordable. Also, if they get trashed right away, you didn't pay much so it's not the end of the world. Target's fancy layout remodel and fashionable trends have also been fun to explore, so I've shopped there a lot, too.

I love me some TJMaxx and Marshall's but you have to have some serious, non-distracted time and no expectations for that kind of adventure, which is pretty rare for me. There are a lot of styles that are "cool," right now that don't fit my body type, sad but true. So I'm kind of in a weird place with it all.

The other day after slaying two workouts and having a gym buddy say I looked like my workouts were paying off, I was feeling slimmer and stronger. I thought, "Yay, I'm getting my confidence back a bit." I started dressing a little cuter, and was trying to take my body back in a sense. Knowing I had to have something newer for this upcoming wedding and our weekend free time was dwindling before our trip date, last night I took the time to hit Target.

I window shop online and Jumpsuits and Rompers are "so in." I got a Romper last year but when I ballooned back up into my discomfort zone, that thing was out of any rotation. Plus it made me feel like I was trying too hard to "look young." My best friend and I also created a fun game where, because rompers only compliment some body types and are not for everyone unfortunately, we started pointing out "Rompers" versus "Wrong-pers." It was like our own, "Who wore it best," or "Worst Dressed" list in US Weekly. It may sound catty and unfeeling but we're actually way less mean, or intended to be less mean, and are more silly about it I should say. I have been the victim of "wrong-pers" often LOL. I wish someone had told me!

Yesterday I got to Target and picked out a few things. I tried the regularly priced "nice things" and then hit the clearance rack for my favorite cheap finds. With a few choices, off I went to the dressing room to figure it all out. First of all, it was like the worst lighting ever. I felt like the Walking Dead. Then, just the trendy, skinny kinds of styles made all my self esteem shrink.

So first we have this gem above here. I loved the fall fashion, and the colors were good, but the long dress was not happy with my short body and it hugged my curves in the wrong way. This was not wedding-worthy. My hair was a mess and I have a zit popping but whatever. I didn't feel amazing either way, but I still posted this on Instagram because, meh, I was trying to stay lightened up.

Then we have the ROMPER/Jumpsuit threefold up here. This thing is my color, but I just kept staring thinking it wasn't really complimentary. From the side with the proper "suck it in," so then I would also need some new Spanx, it was okay at best. The front view left me very unsure. 

I found one other dress for the magical price of $9.00 in my other color, which is a golden yellow, and it fit really comfortably, and complimented my shape well, so I bought it because it could be wedding-worthy or but mostly because I can have a $9.00 new dress. The Romper up there was $30.00. I bought it, and was even able to get myself into a small after another try on sesh, not pictured, because I thought it would help the frumpy areas, and took the dress and myself home. The buyer's remorse from the $30.00 clothing purchase is ridiculous, but I seriously am planning on a return ASAP.

I didn't put it on at home again for other opinions, but this morning between my daughter chasing me, my routine closet stare where I figure out today's outfit, and then just my revisiting what I already own I thought to myself, "Wait a minute here." I looked in my shoe area and remembered fondly my blue suede boots.

When I was interning in London I spoiled myself with these beautiful blue boots. These are boots I don't get to wear anymore. Florida is frigging hot! Well this wedding is in October in Georgia at night, which will be cooler so it could work! And then I found a dress my mom bought me, lightweight but long-sleeved and could be worn with the blue suede boots, which BONUS, no more shoe shopping, which is also a nightmare for me. I have freakishly small feet unfortunately. 

For me it's not about being cheap, thrifty or even just a matter of laziness. For me, it's about utilizing what I already have. If I can spend no extra money and throw together something decent, count me in. I honestly don't have the time to shop and try everything on and decide on yes or no very often. I'm pretty consistently stressed about money so it all feels mostly unnecessary to me.

From time to time I need new underwear or a new pair of shorts, but I don't just go drop $200 because I want a "new look." That's not a part of my personal life program anymore. Retail therapy was a huge part of my depressive phases 10 years ago. It is something I have grown out of and refuse to return to. There are varying definitions of "need." I know what I need and don't need though now. And there's no outfit I can't live without.

I do love a good window shop. I love a good sale find. Maybe I've just outgrown being a "shopper." It's not something I do for pleasure but rather out of necessity. Even when I've had a day to shop and "money to burn" so to speak, I always think that money could be put to better use in the end.

After some serious reflection, I feel more grateful towards my body. I feel more grateful towards my growth and adult-ness in terms realizing that I don't "need" to do extra when I have what I need. I have an appreciation for the lessons I've learned over the years. I feel grateful for WHAT I HAVE. This has not always been the case, but being able to say or type that, is a complete and utter Wednesday "wisdomous" win. 

Don't Let Your Photos Fool Yourself

I haven been slowly getting back into my blogging groove and today was feeling it a bit more, when something funny happened. I don't have the TimeHop thingy but in Facebook the only thing I enjoy anymore is the "on this day" memories thing. Mostly it's cute dog and kid pictures, but sometimes there are good motivational things on there. 

Today something popped up and it is blog-worthy. This photo came up from 2 years ago of my good old boot camp days:

I looked at it nostalgically and then looked at it again and was like, oh I must have been doing Savage Races then or working out a lot, I look really skinny! And then I looked at the date. In August of 2017, mentally, physically, spiritually and in all walks of life I was completely miserable and very unhealthy. I remember having some things to look forward to but my health was horrible.

I even looked back into my google photos and every other picture of me, I look heavier, frumpy even because I was indulging in unhealthy habits like drinking too much, too often, not eating enough or eating junk at every chance, only working out 3 days a week and mentally I was completely falling apart, desperate to hold it together.

Ironically this morning I woke up excited to hit the gym. I was excited it was Wednesday with only a couple more work days to power through. I was having a great week. So to prove how deceiving a good picture can be I did a work bathroom selfie below:

Here's what two things I will bring up that are important. Some people might say, it's the same except I'm not in workout clothes. Let me tell you what I see in picture two, and remember that we are our own worst critics so some of this will be me, not being nice to myself and some of it may come across as way too narcissistic, just go with it for now.

In that first picture I'm forcing a 6AM smile, probably sucking it in. In today's picture I'm being the poster girl for Old Navy and rocking an outfit I LOVE. I have felt very thick lately but have also completely re-vamped my workout routine and schedule and am working hard on what matters to me. I don't hate my body today. I love my body today.

In that first pic, I hated my body. How do I know this? Because I was treating every part of it like garbage two years ago. I remember being so upset two years ago but putting on my happy face daily. Every day was "if I can get to x,y,z I'll be okay. I'd had a ridiculous summer of selfishness and mental anguish and was trying to snap out of it. 

Today, I realize how much my body has done for me. I'm so thankful for not being on thyroid meds even though I've been struggling with some of the health stuff that comes along with keeping it natural over here. I'm thankful that I take the stairs every day and that I'm strong enough to feel sore when I push my limits. I'm thankful for every curve. I'd rather be thick and living my life happy, than be 30 pounds lighter afraid to eat a cupcake.

It's so easy to let any and all pictures fool yourself. I don't care if it's jealousy of others or of past versions of yourself. It's easy to forget what was really happening at those times when we just see the smiling snapshot. 

While I love that Facebook and google keep these memories for us, I'm always met with mixed feelings as to what they mean. I can usually recall what vague posts were about. I can usually remember what was going on around a picture or status update. Some of them are fantastic memories. Some of them are not so much. 

Don't let the photos fool you into thinking that what you have now is necessarily bad. Maybe you are going through a dark patch. Maybe things for you are just shitty but I urge you to try and snap a selfie, even if it's not a smiley pretty one. You'll revisit it later and think "oh yeah, I'm glad I let myself feel and be real in that moment," I think. 

I'm glad I have pictures of me looking great and looking not so awesome, why? Because that's ME. I'm glad I have pictures OF ME BEING ME, whether I was in a good place or not because it's all part of the journey. Today I'm glad I wanted to small and show off my budget fashions. Today I'm glad that this post came pouring out of me and I feel triumphant and free. 

You'll look over thousands of photos but don't be fooled by them, be inspired. There was some silly rom-com I loved, I think it was called "Just Married," and there is a line in there I always liked about how, you never see pictures of the bad times, just the good but the bad times are what gets you the stories and memories you need between the photos. Keep that idea close on this Wednesday and remember that everything is temporary. It's just one day at a time!

I Looked On Pinterest For Blog Ideas...Here Is The Result

I just wanted some blog prompt ideas. I really didn't know what would come up. This is one that caught my eye. So, for fun, I'm actually going to do this entire list in this post. Yeah, get ready!

1. Spring Bucket List - I don't think I'm organized enough to have a life bucket list, let alone one for spring. Also, I live in Florida so spring is more of like a pre-summer with varying degrees of sweaty-ness. If I had to put something on my spring bucket list it would be, going to the beach. 

2. Spring and Easter Do It Yourself - I will never give you advice on how to do anything crafty because it would end up on the Pinterest Fail boards. I can follow okay directions but I'm much better with the whole, "Paint the bird house" like it looks in the picture thing. I also feel like I have no business telling anyone to do who, except my husband, child and dog. 

3. Easter Cupcake Recipe - Insert laugh track here. Go buy a Betty Crocker box of cupcake mix, read the directions, cover in icing and sprinkles. Eat. There ya go. I would never instruct others on how to cook. I'm barely allowed in my own kitchen to make a sandwich let alone actually cooking. 

4. Spring Cleaning Tips - Buy a robo-vac. Eufy is my favorite. Best money I have ever spent.

5. Photo Diary - Also known as Instagram. Find me there. Follow me if ya want.

6. Spring Clean Your Wardrobe - I did a huge purge. I feel better. But as far as this goes, it has to be up to you. If it feels overwhelming, wait until you get that urge to just say no to keeping things. Or perhaps make a "maybe" pile in case.

7. Spring Fashion Wishlist - As a mom, are we allowed to have a wishlist outside of "Coffee, quiet and sleep?" I stopped Wishlist-ing things years ago. It became a sad twist of like "remember when you used to want that nice purse but then you needed new tires?" Um no. Fashion Wishlist? How about $40 to spend at Old Navy to see how many items you can come home with? Challenge accepted. Shopping is usually more of a chore than fun anymore. Ugh, adulting blows. 

8. Do a Spring tag - No idea what this means. Like #spring? Not quite sure. 

9. Spring Nail Art Tutorial - Wait, I'm supposed to have the time to cook, clean, bake, do my closet, give craft advice, take myself shopping and do my own nails well? Is this blog idea based on a human or robot. I just had my first manicure in like 2 years people. I'm lucky to get two pedicures a year if that. I'm in no position to tutorial anything nail related unless you need a how to on making an appointment.

10. What you eat in a day - This one should be called - How to loathe yourself in one paragraph. Which day? A good day? A bad day? It goes like this: coffee, cereal, coffee, water, yogurt, some kind of lunch-type small meal, maybe leftovers, coffee/tea then small snack, huge salad with lots of things and La Croix, random candy/cookie type desert, tea, bed. Sometimes I sub the salad with other leftovers or a junk binge. Weekends usually do not have this structure. On a bad day there is twice the coffee and lots of junk food.

11. Spring look book - I can't even. What does this even mean and why does it sound like some kind of Dr. Seuss-ian thing?

12. Favorite Scents - Sweet Pea at Bath and Body Works, Anything Coconut, fresh baked cookies, when my husband makes buffalo sauce and/or tacos, fire pits. 

13. Events in your Town/City - Safety Harbor is all events, all the time. There are few months where there aren't things to do every weekend. Google it all! 

14. Spring Skincare Routine - Is this supposed to differ from my regular skincare routine? Is there like a Peeps FaceMask I'm missing out on? I wash my face, where little make-up all either E.L.F or Covergirl, and then try to remember to moisturize.You're welcome.

15. Easter Egg Taste Test - Okay so my husband and I have very differing views on this. We have never ever done traditional egg-dying with our child. Why? Back in my day we used to dye hundreds of eggs and hide them for the church egg hunt, before plastic eggs were affordable and everywhere. It was less fun and more of a chore so I do not enjoy. Plus no one but my dad ate hard-boiled eggs, I hated the smell and my mom always complained. So, this one is out. 

16. Fitness Routine - I'm up at 5 every morning to hit 9 Rounds Fitness and get my 30 minutes of kickboxing in. If I miss a morning I try to sneak in later and still get my time 5 days a week, minimum.

17. 10 Things I Love About Spring - 1) Easter chocolate sales 2) The smell of Lilacs 3) Rainy days 4) My daughter's Easter Crafts 5) My daughter's excitement about Easter 6) People with pretty and manicured yards that have amazing flowers growing for me to admire passing by 7) Allergies ruining my joy of everything else listed previously 8) The Justin Timberlake It's Gonna Be May memes 9) The time before the humidity comes when it's comfortable outside 10) Fresh fruit

18. Books I will be reading - "Theft By Finding" by David Sedaris will take me quite some time as I'm the slowest reader ever, but that's what's on my nightstand.

19. Spring make-up look - Not too old, not too young, and not like I may be moonlighting as a hooker or stripper. that is what I'm going for at least. Anything to cover the tired.

20. Photography Tips - If you can't get the selfie in the first 10 shots, try again later. Also, by the time you get the phone ready to take the picture you probably just missed the rest of the moment.. Just enjoy the moment. Unlike social media may have you believe, you actually don't need to capture every single moment as proof of "happiness."

21. Spring homeware haul - I. Don't. Buy. Nice. Things. I have a dog and child. That one was super easy.

22. Spring Decor Tour - See #21. That one was even easier.

23. 5 Blogs to Follow - Mine, The one I write daily, Other Mom Blogs, This one, and My blog. 

24. Cafe/Restaurant Review - I'm kind of a harsh critic. I also don't go out to each much. I highly recommend GiggleWaters, Parts of Paris, Mystic Fish, Cafe Vino Tino, Elizabeth's Cafe and Bakery, and the Sandwich on Main. I say with confidence that at those establishments, your money is very well spent.

25. Packing For A Spring Break - I am 34 with a 6 year old and I live in Florida. Spring break does not exist for me, as I work full time and my kid is just in aftercare camp when she's not at school. I would pack clothes though. Good tip, right?

26. Spring GRWM. I got nothing. What does this even mean? Yeah, I'm not going there.

27. Easter/Spring Recipe - I don't cook edible things. Can I make you a reservation?

28. Lush Easter Haul - Like the brand Lush? I don't buy nice stuff anymore, but I did love their bath bombs back in the days where I knew how to relax.

29. How to do the perfect flatlay - I have no idea what a perfect flatlay is. I suppose you could Google it. I have no interest in this really and I realized this list is British so, yeah I definitely feel a little lost in translation here.

30. Best cities to go to for Spring Break - Anywhere that isn't your home? As a Floridian, Spring Break stinks because we are crowded with spring breakers and our beaches much be shared along with restaurants and everything else. So I would imagine just being lucky enough to have a spring break trip would be pretty cool.

So I did thirty little posts and I feel accomplished. Some of them are far more silly than others but what an interesting way to kick off the weekend. Come on 4:15PM, let's get here fast and get this weekend started! Happy Friday Readers!