The Hurry-Cane

If you watch the news, you are aware that there is a hurricane heading towards Florida. To me, it should be re-named a "Hurry-cane." Why? Because everyone is in a HURRY; a hurry to to do what? Wait it out. Hurry up and wait!

Already water is gone from store shelves, people are at gas stations filling 10 spare cans, and gas stations are out of fuel. Traffic is ridiculous while people play with ideas of evacuation. It's hysteria.

We have lived in Florida for a decade as of July and have seen one legitimate hurricane. The last time was an anxious, stressful and exhausting experience mostly because it was our first big one and because everyone out of state was all over us. They increased the mania because they just had no idea, which while I understand, but is not remotely helpful. 

As for me, we err on the side of caution. We have supplies. We are ready. Things are different mentally for us all from the last round and this time we will be more capable than ever to handle whatever turn this thing takes.

I'm loving the memes on Facebook and Instagram making the whole thing funny. That, and hurricane parties are what Florida is know for after all. I actually didn't understand the whole "stock up on alcohol and party" mentality for a hurricane until Irma. My husband's boss sent us with insanely good wine and food and to calm my anxiety and stress, nothing is better than red wine and steak right?

I was in a hurricane-panic induced food coma and slept through the worst of the storm. My daughter just remembers cooking outside and staying up late because we turned the AC way down to make the place hold some cool in anticipation of a power outage and told her to soak up that technology not knowing how long we'd be out for.

I remember people banding together, especially the community members in our neighborhood. My husband did a huge cook out for everyone the night before the storm was supposed to hit. Literally the waiting on the unknown was the worst part. You never know what the damage will entail. There were tree branches and things fell on cars and roads. Some signs came down but we had nothing too crazy. Others weren't so lucky. But, just the not knowing was maddening.

Sometimes with the hurry-cane I just want it to hurry up and get over with already. I just it to arrive, do it's damage and leave. Get outta the way! Go away Dorian. Also, I must say that the hurricane names are weird sometimes. Like Andrew and Michael are regular, mundane names but Irma sounded like a mean German Grandmother name and Dorian? I can't NOT picture the Mask:

So here we go, slowly bracing ourselves for the unknown in this hurry-cane situation. I'm hoping to fill my tank this afternoon and call it a day. We shall see!

Intimidation Station

My husband and I had a conversation about family stuff and he mentioned that with certain people I come off as intimidating. I'd never really thought about my being intimidating but more that I just don't hide being annoyed.

When I got home I said to him, "I'm not so sure about this whole me looking intimidating thing. Because at work I had someone tell me she wasn't feeling so well, so she was heading to the bathroom and I wanted to say 'Eww, don't tell me that,' and I always prefer not to be bothered and look generally annoyed and yet no one gets the hint!" My husband laughed and rolled his eyes.

He said, "Yeah that's work Alison who wants to avoid conflict and just be left alone to get through her day. They all probably think you just have resting bitch face." He then went on to say that when I'm on my home turf, and when I'm standing firmly, I can bring on the intimidation. It left me thinking a bit.

I wouldn't say I had good or bad self esteem necessarily, or maybe I wouldn't even say I had any at all, but there are certainly times when I am completely no nonsense. I'm not sure if I've hardened with age, or I just have a stronger no-bullshit-o-meter. I very much wear the "do not harm but take no shit" mantra.

It was just a funny thing for him to have brought to my attention, mostly because I've inadvertently conditioned myself to carry myself certain ways depending on the company, or the situation. My sisters can feel when I'm pre-meltdown and about to lose my cool. My dad helps even me out by responding in calm ways to keep me calm. My mom is probably what taught me to be intimidating and rely on resting bitch face, not because that's what she does, but because that's how I've had to handle myself with her.

I think we armor ourselves with certain things to get us through whatever we are in the middle of. When I'm walking downtown I usually have headphones in or I'm on the phone. This is so no homeless dudes or survey people approach me for inappropriate commentary, to ask for change or to get too close to my personal space bubble. I feel like these are polite and socially acceptable ways of saying "No thanks, just passing through."

After watching an old favorite Dane Cook skit, I remembered him talking about saying something to someone who sneezed on him and he said, "I said, 'God Bless You,' but I said it in the tone of 'Cover your f***ing mouth.'" I kind of feel like that might be the best description for my general demeanor when in a mood. I can say the nice things but in a snarky way so you know I'm not having it.

But as far as being intimidating, I feel like that's a compliment. One thing I never want to portray is any kind of weakness. I like being a veiled threat of a human, like I don't look so bad until you unleash the kracken type of thing, haha or so I would hope.

I'm very often underestimated, and I try to use that to my advantage honestly. I also just have no room to be messed with anymore. If you are going to come at me with some ridiculousness, disrespect or no consideration, I'm not going to sit idly by. It's taken me years to own my story, and I'm not going backwards, only forwards.

On the other hand, I don't live to scare people by any means. Most people don't get the intimidation vibe from me in general, until they piss me off. That's when, what my old friend used to so beautifully put, I will "set you ablaze with my eyes."

I think as women we learn that we have to bring something more to the table and be the mom/employee/friend/wife/woman that doesn't put up with nonsense and we all carry that differently. For me, apparently, I come across intimidating but I think that's okay.

I am sassy, sarcastic and cynical. These are the things I wear as my armor, now I'm adding on some intimidating stuff because I'm growing and not being afraid to be me. I wish I could be offended that my husband brought it up but I'm still keeping it as a compliment, no matter how silly that sounds. 

Maybe Michael Scott has been right all along!

What A Day Of Rest Can Do

Yesterday my poor daughter was sick. No crazy flu, no high fever, just a run of the mill cold. I was honestly surprised no one called me Monday because she was definitely on the decline and Monday night she slept horrible. Wait, let me correct, WE slept horribly.

After 9 days in a row of kicking restaurant rear, yesterday my husband was off. So, they had a lazy morning. However, we had a new washer to procure mid-day so I had to do the afternoon shift of sickie care. I am blessed enough to have amazing bosses who never shame me for my mother status and totally understand sick days, so leaving halfway through my day was not an issue, even a little bit.

My daughter demanded she have sausage so I stopped at the store and then went home to release my husband to get our new fancy washing machine. While he was gone my daughter took like a 3 hour nap. She doesn't nap anymore, especially voluntarily. That's how I knew she was off.

She didn't perk up until almost 7PM and then started showing signs of life and normalcy but I'm telling you, it's kind of impressive what a day of rest can do.

Rest is such a foreign concept to me, which is probably why once every 3 to 5 years I get taken down with some foreign super flu, feeling like I took my healthy life for granted and writing drug-induced living wills on paper towels as my body works against me. Kid are often under-estimated in terms of how much rest they really need.

I don't think it's any surprise that well rested children would listen, learn and play better than those lacking in those areas but I've never felt any shame about bed time, or letting my kid watch TV in her down time. Every parent has the panic of the negative affects of screen time. I get it. However, we live in a world increasingly dependent on those technologies, as a parent it's just our job to control how much and what kind. And every single person will be different.

I've advertised often that we watch subtitles with everything now. Guess what? It has helped our daughter learn to read! Just the other day she noticed the difference in the spelling of flour and flower in a show she was watching. Some kids don't relate as well.

For me, TV time is a restful thing. I love tuning into a good series or old series, even in the background as comic relief. My daughter is much the same. Also, kids are so insanely busy now. We have two back to back birthday parties this weekend and this is after horseback riding lessons!

I don't remember being busy, except maybe for a sports season. I also don't remember not making it to bed at reasonable times. I don't remember play dates being scheduled either. I do remember having to figure out my own entertainment, and it wasn't just the television or video games.

Now that weekends are just as packed as weekdays when do we rest? You're supposed to on the 7th day, but then again, we have to get up and go to church more often than not. Usually by Sunday at 5PM I prefer to be in my pajamas and done peopling and I want us chilling in comfy spaces and eating popcorn. I feel like this is tantamount to readying us for the week.

Yesterday my daughter asked me to play with her, and I said, "I can get some toys out but you really need your rest to go back to school tomorrow." I knew she was sick because she didn't argue and was content binge-watching the likes of Barbie, Pixar movies, and Doc McStuffins. Even after her long nap she slept like a champ and woke up sassy and ready to go.

In the time that I had off with her yesterday I finally cleared our dining room table which is forever a "throw stuff" and creative art space. I filed a bunch of things that had piled up on the file bin to be dealt with. I ran the dishwasher and started the Robovac, I cleaned up a few other areas as well. Not restful, sure, but productive. I was also able to sneak into the gym for the workout I had missed that morning.

It was a good reboot from her being sick, for the whole house. My husband was able to sleep in and decompress from work stuff. The dog was happy to have his humans around instead of being alone in the house. It's kind of cool what a day of rest can do.

We forget to rest too much. We put our bodies and our minds through the ringer too often, but after you get that elusive rest it's kind of nice to look back and think, "wow that was completely worth it."

I don't know why I don't allow myself that more, as I always make room for it, if not force, my child to. Hubby knows his limits better, I guess, and will rest when he's at his max for sure. I kind of assume the dog does all the resting for me, but perhaps it's time to take his cue and better explore more of exactly what a day of rest can do. Maybe Sunday!

Random Teachable Moments In Motherhood

I only recall one teachable moment with my dad. It was when I was 19, had my first official boyfriend, but sadly wasn't the first official asshole I'd dated, and he basically told me that even though he was a bad guy, all of them wouldn't be that way and I must not forget there are still good people out there. That one stuck, and always will.

Other than that, and especially in my adolescence, I don't recall a single moment where my parents took a minute to level with me as a struggling, tiny human. There were no heart to hearts or calm talks of the ways of life. Perhaps I'm not the worst mom after all.

My daughter's school has a daily numbering system for behavior and general good job scoring. On the scale, 1 is bad news, 2 is only slightly better, 3 is par for the course and okay, and then 4 is the best! Yesterday my daughter got a 4, and she expected some serious rewards as her normal day to day is a 3.

With school a few weeks away from ending, we've been pretty lax on the rule front for no screens and evening routines. The kid and I are exhausted and she loves her TV and down time so, whatever, sometimes it's not worth the argument to force her to spend time with me. We still do our day to day catch up time and read books before bed, so I take to chores and let her veg. 

So for her reward, I let her re-watch the shows I have banned in the name of exploration of new stuff, and let her have free reign on the big TV until bed time. When it was definitely bed time, I started the whole "10 minute warning, 5 minute warning," mom thing, always with the disclaimer, "No arguments please!"

I always say "No arguments," with her because my daughter is the master of negotiation. She will either be a natural lawyer or hostage negotiator one day. Everything is a discussion. It's never simple. My biggest struggle is with the interruptions and trying not to stifle her. As women, we naturally get the shit end of the stick when it comes to be talked down to, talked over, or generally made to feel conversationally inferior, if not generally inferior, and as if we have no voice. This feeling is one I don't want to raise my daughter having experienced at home.

There is a patience breaking-point, or lack there-of, where enough is enough. Some things aren't a discussion. So last night when the TV time was done, it was time to get ready for bed and she came in to negotiate with, "But I wanted to watch more, I only watched one episode, I wanted to stay up late, I thought I got a reward for my 4!" All of this can be heard in the whiny 6 year old voice, of course.

When I stopped the discussion it was, "Mom you interrupted me! You're not letting me tell you what I need to say! That's unfair." Finally, crying and crumpling, she climbed onto my bed and said the real deal, the ultimate truth: "Mom, I just get really upset and think it's unfair when I don't get what I want!" I sat back for a second to take this all in. 

My first instinct was to laugh or quote the Princess Bride again: 

But then I thought, okay let's go ahead and be considerate about this. Let's make this a teachable moment. I said, "I'm sorry you're upset, and unfortunately not getting what you want is something that will happen a lot. I know it feels unfair, and some of it is. But, I'm the mom and you're the kid. I'm the grown up and you're not a grown up yet, so you need to follow the instructions and tasks, even if you're upset or you don't like them. And this behavior just proves to me that you can't get what you're asking for, because throwing a fit isn't how you get what you want."

I was impressed with myself because I didn't raise my voice. After she got her teeth brushed and went to the bathroom she came back and asked if we could make time to read books even though earlier she said she didn't want to. Of course I caved on this one because, books are always necessary. I looked at her puffy little face and said, "I'm sorry you're feelings were hurt but I'm really glad you shared your feelings with me and told me about your frustration. You can always tell me how you're feeling."

I do want her to tell me how she feels even if it's not a positive feeling. One time she said, "I hate you, Mom!" And, true to form, I yelled back, "Then that means I'm doing my job as your mom! Go to your room!" Sharing feelings is important and allowing her to feel all the feelings is even more important, in my mothering opinion.

When she told me she got upset when she didn't get what she wanted, I stared at her a second thinking, a more "Alison" comment could not have been made. Hello mini-me! And I'm the kind of person whom, if you tell me no, or that I can't, I'll do it just to spite you. If my husband said, "Yeah there's no way you could run a half marathon," even though I truly have no desire to run 13 miles, I would do it just to prove him wrong. And when people try to say, "No you can't have...", I just work harder to get it because I CAN! Maybe not the best approach, but again, I'm a work in progress.

I hope to instill the proper amount of ferocity within my daughter as well, which seems to be building in there. She sure is a trip, whom I love endlessly. And while I've struggled so much in motherhood, knowing that I can take a step back and be there like this for her, really keeps me hopeful that I won't completely mess her up. I try to resign to just mess her up the correct amount!

Married Musings

Google "marriage memes," I dare you. This came up about halfway through the page. It's not wrong. 

My best friend told me her husband of over a decade says that marriage is likely to consist of a lot of bad years and he wants to conquer those to get to the good ones. I kind of like that idea. No, I LOVE that idea. Why? Because marriage is hard.

Marriage not an easy thing. It can be painful, frustrating, infuriating, defeating and completely stressful.

Princess Bride, in its infinite wisdom, is quoted too often in my marriage. Things can be less romantic and more routine, then turn to rough and real in a moment's notice. It's all a matter of give and take, and communication.

We are 6 weeks away from 10 years of marriage and all I can say is, we've had our fair share of bad times and I'm all for pushing towards the good. Anyone who is married and says they don't have a phase like this might be lying or better yet, inhuman.

Marriage, like childbearing, is a club we all want to be accepted into, but no one tells you how challenging it is once you're in. No one is honest about it, until you're honest about your marriage with everyone else. That's when all the stories come out of the woodwork.

It took me a good 4 years of motherhood and family life rough waters to realize that most relationships have the "Titanic" moment of one person on the door and the other person in the water hanging for dear life. 

We can all admit now, there was room for both of them on that door! Regardless, I digress; marriage is anything but simple and easy. I now understand the growing divorce rate in our country. We often wonder how people make it for so long, and I'm unsure as if anyone has a magic answer, I sure as hell don't. I just know that it takes work from both parties.

Staying hopeful in a marriage, to me, is more important than staying happy. "Happy" can have a million definitions, but hopeful is the real, deep stuff. You're going to be horrible to each other. You're going to hurt each other. These are facts. But when you just want to keep up the good fight at the end of the day, and still annoy just that one other person, I think you're probably doing okay.

I used to find comfort in comedies that made fun of how ridiculous marriage can be and brought some lighthearted moments into it all. I still do, which is why I revisit these in times of high anxiety.

Of course the Friends moment the day after Monica and Chandler's wedding where Chandler fakes wedding photos at another wedding to avoid Monica being upset their photos were lost and Monica opens every gift without him will always live in infamy: 

Compromise at it's best; makes me laugh every time.

Albeit there are cute Lily and Marshall-esque moments: 

    

Those are the moments that get you out of the bad, more often than not. The moments where you stop being cranky at each other and stick with being cute. These are the social media moments people live for.

However, there are also some pretty serious moments when things get real:

We totally embrace and thrive in therapy and I make no apologies for it. I advocate therapy to EVERYONE. Sometimes you just need a little extra help so you can get away from the tension and back to life as a couple. It's like having a mediator to get you away from the same fight, the same dizzy dance and same bad habits, and recenter your views. I'm a fan.

More and more I'm finding as we age separately and as a couple, that we are just not alone in our issues, but no one is talking about it. In some ways, keeping your personal life personal is great, but sometimes it's nice to know the cheese doesn't stand alone.

My balance become being a complainer in general, and learning to cultivate my frustration with my tribe has been such an intense experience. At my worst I was just on a diatribe. At my best, I grew up and started to take control of what I wanted out of my marriage and stopped apologizing and started working towards those goals. It's definitely a work in progress, but it's worth the job!

We are 6 weeks away from celebrating the big 10 together and for the first time, in a long time, I'm feeling beyond hopeful, but excited. As strange as it is to think about the time gone by I'm definitely happy to put some chapters behind us and to continue onward and upward. 

Thanks Michael Scott, we won't!

That's Pinteresting!

Funny story; I have a mom friend and just about 3 years ago she says to me, "I found this new website called Pin-interest! It has so many ideas for the birthday party!" I said sweetly, "Pinterest. It's called Pinterest." Her enthusiasm was right on, even if the pronunciation was off.

All women know Pinterest. This is factual. Nine years ago I tried to get my husband on board and he instantly became pissed off because he could only see pictures of the food, but not recipes. Let's just say Pinterest has come a LONG way. My husband still is not a fan.

As part of my social media break you might think I would avoid Pinterest, but you would be so wrong. I can spend hours on there, mostly because I'm a quote hoarder. I LOVE movie quotes, music quotes, motivational quotes, and little sayings. I'm considering starting to use some as writing prompts for fictional pieces, but sometimes they just get in there and stick. 

While I've noticed my reader numbers are a bit lower (so thank you for those who have stuck with me) I've been enjoying my time away from Facebook and Instagram. I'm still unsure as to when I will reemerge, so I've definitely turned towards Pinterest.

I stopped filling my boards and pins with furniture, clothing, and "things" I'll never have, but mostly just collect all of these quotes. So today we'll walk through a little bit of what has been on my radar.

Part of my social media siesta is getting back to myself. I've disclosed bit by bit it's been a rough run. Sometimes I look in the mirror with judgment and anger, with disappointment and frustration, but without social media influencing my anxieties, I want to keep reminding myself, I've been through some crap but I'm still here.

It's a hard sell, some days, but a good affirmation. I can always visit my board if I need a visual reminder.

This one I've been meditating on A LOT. I've recently lost touch with someone I'd considered a great friend and support. Maybe I can't even say lost touch, but I have two messages unanswered and even a note via snail mail unrecognized, so I'm kinda assuming this is a ghosting type thing? I'm in "hope for the best, prepare for the worst mode." I've just been rationalizing that, I was super great as a friend and will never give up on them, but if they have timed out on that friendship, I just need to let it float on. My coping mechanism is just daily reminders and a lot of just wishing them well with good vibes in the universe because what else is there?

This is also part of the social media stuff. There is a double-edged sword feeling for me when it comes to being able to "check in" on people or be "checked in" on by others. My best friend called me out as "Stalker-y" because I got into that Instagram feature where you can see who viewed your story, almost like a different form of a "like."

I went through a weird phase where being "liked" in that way but not acknowledged in life was mental torture. Then I transformed my perspective into a kind of, this maybe is a person's way of "checking in on you," without having a conversation for x,y,z reasons. But I kind of hit my limit and just decided to breathe deeply and take a long walk towards some peace.

Staying low key is like a superpower. Also, side note, one of my few, but largest issues with Pinterest, is the spelling errors. Low key is two words people. Two.

This one is undeniably true right now; intensely so. I work so hard on cultivating my wants and needs and sometimes the universe saying no is inadvertently a yes in the end. Isn't that Pinteresting?!?

I could do this all day and post 1,000 memes with 5,000 reactions. For me, it is a great distraction and allows me to have necessary reflection points. Sometimes I find those words that I just needed to read in the perfect moment. Sometimes I revisit all the things I've "pinned" and a month ago I was feeling the same and saved something that I needed today. It's a weird kind of new age diary, in a way.

Pinterest also has secret boards where you don't have to share everything with anyone who "follows" you, which I like. I have all kinds of secret nerdy tattoo dreams saved on there and I love them.

Some of my boards are literally things that I know I'm not organized or talented enough for accomplishing well, but a girl can dream! I think that's the fun part, is the dreaming. I stay away from dream trip boards, only because for me personally, it could become a daunting or depressing thing later but some people take their boards very seriously.

I have a few friends I send random pins and memes to, but other than that the whole chatting thing is pretty minimal. I really could spend hours lost and pinning away, especially if I have an upcoming project.

It's so funny when you take a step back you realize how much time you've spent feeding into other sources instead of yourself. Sometimes it can feel almost horrifying, other times perhaps it's sobering. I'm still fresh into the game but I'm feeling more and more positive in confirming this is just what I needed. I definitely wish people were still checking the blog often but my sanity is more important than my advertising.

Please feel free to message or comment suggestions! I'm open to them all! Happy Tuesday readers!

The Worrier Warrior

I can't really pinpoint the start of my anxiety. I remember at a young age being very afraid and very aware that I could get lost or separated from my parents in crowds. I've always been pretty outgoing and spent most of my childhood relatively naive and basking in adolescence. While I had a great vocabulary and imagination, I was a late bloomer for all of the girly-type things like bras and make-up.

I don't know if it's growing up in proximity to addiction that just makes me worry or it's been crafted over my 3 plus decades on this earth. I had a rude awakening when it came to my ideas of stability and normalcy at a formative age. I've only recently realized that all of those experience were in fact traumatic and am attempting to repair some of the damage, but I'm definitely a worrier.

I'm a worrier about weird things I guess. I worry about my kid wandering out of the house unattended, or the dog leaving the neighborhood and getting hit by a car or finding a new family. I worry about my husband just not coming home for 8,000 reasons I won't list. I lose sleep over high credit card balances, late fees, health insurance woes, and messing up at work to jeopardize my job.

I've had some rough experiences with dissolution of friendships and even second-family type stuff which, in some way makes me "hardened" towards things and in other ways makes me worry about when and how these people will fade and depart from my world. The fading part...that's what drives my anxiety to the roof.

I've started asserting more of what I need in any kind of relationship but one thing I've made a joke out of, but has become a truth is, I'd rather you tell me "Hey, we won't be speaking anymore, I kind of hate you now," than just wait for you to stop responding to texts, stop "liking" and following posts on social media, and dodging my existence in general. But we don't live in that world so I just worry about other scenarios around that stuff.

Maybe I am such an avid "checker-inner" because of that part of my anxiety, but it certainly can be an obstacle. Ironically, in terms of what I can handle with great composure, I've been referred to as a "Warrior." I feel like the only part of me that embodies that word is that I feel so beaten down and exhausted in my mental battle that I've become a Worrier Warrior, fighting for and somehow against my anxious whims.

Social Media can work for and against this in change, and it's kind of maddening. My best friend called me, slightly "stalkery" because I told him I always check who "likes" and follows on certain things as like a gauge for if someone is active on social media, hence alive, and as some weird barometer for my "like-ability" in their eyes. Sad and silly, but nonetheless true.

My husband gives me a hard time about my sleep habits and love affair with getting a full night's rest, but I think it's because sleep is the only thing that stops my wandering, frenzied mind. Sure, I dream, but most I rarely remember  enough to have them warrant anxiety. When I get sleep my brain isn't working overtime so it's wonderful. It's like a daily vacation from being me.

Mindfulness, meditation, and all of those anxiety helping exercises are incredibly difficult for me. They take so much focus and energy, which I usually feel depleted on as it is. It's also difficult to explain all of this at times, and often only other anxious people can understand some of the facets.

As a worrier warrior, I take pride in knowing that so much of this is more discuss-able and mainstream now; we no longer feel the intense pressure to keep it together, or maybe that's just me. I love finding Instagram posts, especially from celebrities, that own their bad days or panic attacks or meltdowns and that share their coping mechanisms. I love to see any mental health empowerment posts and encouragments because I think we all have our little "things" that come out when we are in some form of mental discomfort. 

I lose myself in books or series on TV, I work out a lot, I listen to music, and even went through a feverish coloring phase for my most worried periods. These are my coping mechanisms. Maybe some people hit the beach or take extra walks or listen to calming podcasts. Maybe others clean, organize or do a home project, or even cook or bake. I think we all have our outlet and it's okay to plug in and shine where we are comfy when we feel the world is a bit much.

You'll find a million Pinterest quotes about worry stealing your joy but most of us can't help it; it just happens. Sure, there are many ways we can control our worry or channel it properly and in a healthy way but as a worrier warrior, I'd like to admit there is no "cure." Now I have never tried any western medicine for anxiety so I cannot speak to that in any capacity, so I'm leaving that out of my personal equation. 

It's not all bad, because being an anxious, over-sensitive, over-thinker makes me a wonderful empath, and compassionate and thoughtful, but I won't say that it doesn't offer it's challenges for those close to me. For now, I can just fight the good fight, and some days are better than others in every way. Sometimes my only worry is getting to my daughter on time, other days I'm worried because it's been awhile since I've heard from someone but I'm too worried I'd bother them by checking in, and some days I'm worried that I worry too much!

Like most things in life, you just have to take it one day, and one moment at a time.

So, as a worrier warrior, I head into battle once again and I fight as much as I can through it all, which is pretty much all I can do! To those of you with anxiety and many worries, know that you're not alone and it's all okay and acceptable to wrestle with this stuff. If you have any questions, reach out because I'm always up for talking to anyone else with all these feels as well. Until tomorrow, readers!